Phantom Of The Auto Yard
An Aaaah! Real Monsters Fanfic
by Save Fearow
Author's Note: There are few things more painful for an adolescent than having an unrequited love. But at least you can get some pretty good stories out of it.
Some places in New York are so scary even monsters don't like to visit them! The auto junkyard on Walker Street was a perfect example. It wasn't a fearsome bark-and-bite that kept creatures at bay, oh no! The auto yard was home to something far worse: a phantom! Nobody knew the exact nature of the beast, but rumors abounded regarding his origin. The phantom could appear almost anywhere in Manhattan- like magic- and frighten the hapless population. Some say the phantom was over 20 ft tall, some say he had razor-sharp fangs, but everyone agreed: he was bad news. The phantom didn't just run around scaring humans, his reign of terror extended to the monster world as well! The local Headmaster Monsieur Liry in particular cowered whenever he thought about the phantom. It got to the point where he had to issue a proclamation to his class, advising caution when venturing above ground.
"Of course, I can't FORBID any of you from scaring, otherwise we might all -disappear-, especially since I don't have any charismatic young loomers in my class to help pick up the slack. What a pity! But, I do know that is -dangerous- out there with that Phantom running amok and so I strongly suggest that you STAY OUT of the auto yard and any other areas he might frequent. Especially you Krustine, my prized pupil." Monsieur Liry instructed.
"But if I am your prized pupil, then surely I can scare wherever I want. I am not the least bit afraid." Krustine countered.
"You should be. It is only the generosity of Monsieur Liry that allows you to attend this Academy. Unlike me, the great Revolta, you contribute NOTHING of value." Revolta claimed.
"What about all the toenails my family sends?" Krustine argued.
"Hmm. Perhaps there is that." Revolta reluctantly admitted.
"Not everyone is obsessed with toenails. Look at me, I'm Grawoul the mold farmer but I still come to class and carry my eyeballs around like everyone else." Grawoul put forth.
"Nobody else -has- to carry their eyeballs, though." Revolta reminded him.
"Oh. Then maybe I'm just here to be the romantic false lead?" Grawoul suggested.
"I'm convinced of it. Off you go, on a whirlwind of adventure! Have fun scaring the humans!" Monsieur Liry bid farewell to his students.
Of course it doesn't really matter where Revolta or Grawoul or anybody else went to scare because Krustine is the heroine, and she went to the auto junkyard. By her very nature, Krustine was a curious monster girl, but it was the plaintive sound of a mouth harp that drew her there! Previously, Kruistine's only experience with music had been her -dreadful- anthraxichord lessons. Having recognized that she was not always Little Miss Perfect, she sought the tutelage of this amazing young maestro.
"I know it is you, phantom. You alone are capable of such skill. Please, share your wisdom with me! Help me phantom menace, you're my only hope!" Krustine begged.
A fierce monster with dripping fangs leaped in front of her. He wore a cape, and a domino mask, and a really awesome magician's hat. He was unquestionably the phantom of the auto yard. "I heard your cry, little Krustine. But I don't respond to polite requests, for I am a big, scary monster." the phantom informed her.
"You're awfully short for a big, scary monster." Krustine observed.
"Grawr!" the phantom bellowed. His eyes filled with blood and he loomed until he towered over the girl.
Krustine clapped her paws in delight. "That was -amazing!- I love the way you loom." she professed.
"You will love more things about me, in time." the phantom vowed.
"Yes! Show me more, show me everything!" Krustine pleaded.
"Fright'ning monsters, creepy crawly creatures!
Swoops in shadows, cloaking all features!
You shiver and shake, was coming here a mistake?
Deep in the murk, monsters you're inviting.
Here we will lurk, isn't it exciting?
Turn your back on what you always thought that you knew.
Cast aside preconceptions of what is right.
Start anew with the music of the fright!
Open your mind to new extremes, join me in screams!
Banish all traces of your former world.
Forsaking all others, you are MY girl!
Take my paw and watch as our love unfurls.
Spooky, eerie, music shall surround you.
Listen as it closes in around you.
Embrace your fears, I won't let it end in tears!
In my presence, I will teach you tonight.
The essence of the music of the fright!
Let your spirit and mine, become fully entwined.
Forget your past, leave ev'rything behind.
The auto yard is where you want to be.
Only then can you belong to me!
Howling, yowling, fearsome demonstration!
Touch me, trust me, you're my inspiration!
Let the dark descend, our time together won't end.
Feel the power of the music that I write.
The power of the music of the fright!
You alone can make my song take flight!
Help me make the music of the fright!" the phantom sang in a clear tenor voice that no longer squeaked at random intervals, since he's an older monster and doesn't have to deal with puberty anymore.
Krustine was mesmorized. "Oh my beloved phantom. I could stay with you forever, but first I must see who you truly are." expressed Krustine.
The phantom frowned. "Let's not and say we did." he offered.
But Krustine ignored the phantom's advice, and chose to remove the hat. She gasped in horror at the sight. "Phantom! What big ears you have! You look like a bunny, a little floppy bunny." Krustine commented.
"I'm not -that- little." the phantom protested.
"Squeak, squeak, goes the bunny!" Krustine laughed.
"Is this what you wanted to see? Curse you! You little lying tormentor! You little -temptress-! Now you cannot ever be free!" the phantom wailed.
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have teased you." Krustine apologized.
"You're not the first to do so." the phantom spat. "My whole life was spent in AGONY. Have you any idea how shameful it is for a monster to be cute?! No, of course you wouldn't, you're hideous. And I'm... well, look at me!"
Krustine flinched. "It's really not so bad. You know what's the rage this year? Hats!" claimed Krustine. She smiled tentatively and handed the magician's hat back to the Phantom. Now that he was properly attired, Krustine had to admit that the phantom was rather dashing. She couldn't help but love anyone who had a hat like that.
"Oh, Krustine... come. We must return. That fool who runs the Academy must be missing you." the Phantom determined.
She sighed wistfully, and took hold of the phantom's paw.
"I'm afraid I will be in for alot of trouble at the Academy. I didn't complete any scares tonight." Krustine realized.
"Fear not, my beloved companion! I shall take care of ev'rything!" the phantom promised. With a swoosh of his cape, he disappeared into the night.
"How can you take care of something if you don't stick around?!" Krustine wondered. She waited, but the phantom gave no response, and so she decided to be brave and enter the Academy anyway.
"Class, I hope that SOMEONE managed to get a scare, even with that dreaded phantom skulking about. Who will be the first to sit in the Viewfinder?" Monsieur Liry asked.
"I shall do it! I am the best scarer this Academy has ever known!" boasted Revolta.
"Not for much longer." the phantom whispered ominously. Revolta climbed into the Viewfinder, unaware that it had been replaced with a guillotine. It was more than a little difficult to present a scare when your wings are chopped off, as Revola soon discovered.
"Ha ha! That's what you get for being a jerk!" the phantom announced.
"How do you know Revolta's that terrible? You never had any scenes together before this." Grawoul argued.
"I am the mystical phantom. I operate on instinct!" the phantom proclaimed.
"I operate on stink, too. It's kind of my thing. I love being smelly." Grawoul admitted.
Krustine nodded. "Grawoul, I will never overlook your stinkiness again!" she vowed.
The phantom looked crushed. "After all this time, you're in love with him?!" the phantom questioned.
"Sure, why not? Krustine and I go to school together. You're just this insane outcast that nobody really takes seriously." Grawoul informed him.
"I take you seriously! But then again, I am a coward. Please do whatever you want to the others, but don't cause ME any harm!" sobbed Monsieur Liry.
"Fine, then. I'll just steal Krustine." the phantom decided. He snatched up the hideous girl and fled.
"Wow. Didn't see that coming." Grawoul commented.
"Phantom, where are you taking me?" Krustine demanded.
"Back to the auto yard. No one will find us there, it's my best-kept secret." the phantom explained.
"But I've been there! I know where your lair is, ANYONE could find it." Krustine countered.
The phantom's face fell. "Okay, it's my second best-kept secret. At least I managed to keep the ears hidden." the phantom amended.
"I know about -those- too." Krustine added.
"Dang. Could this day -get- any worse?!" the phantom moaned.
"Yes. You could be tracked down by my protectors, Monsieur Liry and Grawoul." Krustine stated.
"Whaaat?" the phantom roared. He turned around and saw that Krustine's words were true.
"Give me back Krustine, or I'll cut you into ribbons with my sword!" Grawoul threatened. Sure enough, there was a dagger sheathed around his waist.
"So not fair! You lecture ME about bringing medieval torture devices into a classroom, but if YOU want to use a bladed weapon, that's perfectly within your right. Talk about your double standards." grumbled the phantom.
"I think double standards are okay, so long as they benefit me." Grawoul insisted.
"I don't have an opinion on it one way or the other. For a teacher, I'm actually rather naive." Monsieur Liry confessed.
"That's why you walked into my trap!" the phantom yelled. He ran and activated the giant electromagnet that was used to pick up scrap metal in the auto yard. Grawoul and Monsieur Liry were instantly pulled towards the magnet.
"Didn't see that coming, either." Grawoul mused.
"Phantom, no. You must let them go!" Krustine begged.
"Never!" the phantom shrieked. "They would take you away from me!"
"He's right about that." agreed Grawoul.
"I don't care whether he's right or not. I only want him to release us. Phantom, show some compassion!" Monsieur Liry urged.
"The WORLD showed no compassion to me!" the Phantom shouted. He buried his face in his paws and wept. "My father abandoned me as a -bonsty-! I've lived my entire life ALONE with no one to care for me, no one to scare for me. I'm heartbroken." he sobbed.
"Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known? Please, give me courage to show you, you are not alone." Krustine whispered as she cautiously approached the phantom. He looked at her, this once proud and haughty monster, now humbled and chagrined. Krustine saw in his eyes all the sorrow of the world. She kissed him and knew in that instant, that the phantom was the ONLY creature she would -ever- love.
The Phantom smiled at her tenderness and they embraced. While Grawoul and Monsieur Liry dangled helplessly, the two monsters walked away, determined to spend the rest of their lives as mates. Eventually, Grawoul and Monsieur Liry figured out that if they removed the metal scabbards that concealed their swords, they could escape the magnet. But by that time, Krustine and the phantom had already been joined in horrid matrimony and the horrible couple went on to have 4 or 5 ugly bonstys. Hooray!
Back at the Gromble's Academy, the students all started in quiet bewilderment as Ickis concluded his rambling speech. Oblina was the first to break the silence.
"Ickis, I've never heard anything so incredible in all my life!" Oblina exclaimed.
"Thanks, I was really proud of it." Ickis acknowledged.
"Yes, it would take an -incredible- amount of audacity to even begin to believe that such an implausible romance could occur! I mean, really! The phantom drags Krustine to his secret lair, torments her protectors, and she FORGIVES him simply because he has a tragic past?!" Oblina raged.
"Don't forget the part where the phantom brutally attacks anyone who gets in his way. I think that really helped define his motivation." Ickis detailed.
"It defined him as a psychotic little criminal!" Oblina retorted.
"That's what makes his triumph so shocking. I betcha never -dreamt- the phantom and Krustine would get together!" Ickis predicted.
"Indeed, that was stranger than I dreamt it. Ickis, you have completely and utterly shattered my willing suspension of disbelief." Oblina replied.
"Does that mean you liked it?" Ickis asked eagerly.
"What do YOU think?" Oblina snapped.
Ickis beamed. "It's a rousing success!" he declared.
"It's a partial 'success'. I would definitely use the first half of that word to describe -your- fantasy." Oblina charitably allowed.
"YESSS!" Ickis squealed.
The Gromble clapped his paws slowly as he approached Ickis. "Bravo, Master Ickis. There's just ONE thing wrong with your presentation." the Gromble commented.
"It needs a sequel so they can consummate their love?" Ickis ventured.
"WRONG! You wasted the -entire- day regaling us with your sentimental drivel, when you were s'posed to write an ESSAY on Important Scaring Spots, you fluff-headed freak!" the Gromble roared.
Ickis slunk down in his seat. "Um, whoops?" Ickis replied.
"That's no excuse! Perhaps you'll think of a witty rejoinder -after- you've been Snorched!" the Gromble insinuated.
Zimbo snickered. "Poor fool, he makes me laugh." remarked Zimbo as the sound of the belch signaled the end of class.
"Oh, jus' croak already!" Ickis snapped irritably while Zimbo stuck out his tongue.
~~~The End.
Author's Note: Ickis, you're amazing... an amazing liar! I do think it's rather charming whenever Ickis starts telling his classmates all about various adventures that are only loosely based on a true story. Too bad they never see it that way. I guess true art is seldom appreciated in its own lifetime. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind getting a review of my own, but try not to be as harsh a critic as Oblina.