Disclaimer: I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.
AN: I present to you my second Megamind fanfic. This is set pre-movie and not in the same universe as "The Rescue." As of *this* moment, it's not AU, but may turn that way if my girly-side gets the better of me and they do more than make goo-goo eyes at each other. I'd also like to apologize for all flaky science on my part. Just remember, Megamind is WAY smarter than me. (It's big for a reason!) Because I've always enjoyed these types of stories, when they are well done, I bring you a body switching fic. And I hope I have pulled off the 'well done' part. To (hopefully) keep confusion low as to who is talking or acting while in someone else's body, I've decided to use the following format:
Normal:
Sheldon says, "Hey Leonard, watch this."
Sheldon in Leonard's body:
Sheldon states, "Oh, my! That wasn't supposed to happen," while adjusting Leonard's glasses on his nose.
We cool? Cool. On with the story!
A Mile In My Shoes
Ch 1 – What's in a Name
Megamind made a last-minute adjustment to the tension-coil on the release for his newest trap. This one would work! He was sure of it. But…well….if not, he would at least gain valuable data points for the next glorious scheme!
He heard a metal door creak open at the loading dock of the abandoned factory he was setting up in. He turned and saw his constant companion, Minion walking in with Roxanne being carried over his mechanical shoulders. The mechanical gorilla suit that allowed the fish mobility was one of the inventions he was proudest of. Mostly because he and Minion had poured over every single detail beforehand, and it allowed Minion some protection when he wasn't around.
"Ahh, Min-yon!" he greeted excitedly. "Just on time, as always you perfect piscine!"
"Oh, stop, Sir," Minion replied, slightly embarrassed. "I'm just sticking to the schedule you set out." He gently set Roxanne Ritchi, star reporter and frequent kidnapping victim, into the 'kidnapping chair.' Her hands were bound behind her already, but since she was still unconscious, Minion tied her to the chair to keep her from falling out.
"Was you able to get your escape teleporter working, Sir?" Minion asked as he tied the final knot.
"The Emergency Matter Transference Machine!" Megamind corrected haughtily. Honestly, what was the point of coming up with great names if no one was going to use them properly? "And no…," he continued thoughtfully. "None of the objects we tested it on reacted in the slightest. I'll have to go back to the design board to see what's wrong. Right now, it's just a hunk of junk." He gave the machine next to Roxanne a kick for good measure.
At the dull thump, he noticed that Roxanne jumped slightly from her slumped-over position in the chair. That faker!
"Oh, hoho! Minion, it looks like Miss Ritchi in employing yet another nosy reporter skill. She's playing marsupial!" he pointed at her triumphantly then waved to Minion to remove the bag from her head.
"I think its 'playing 'possum,' Sir," Minion replied as he whipped off the bag.
"This is getting really annoying, you know! It's my day off!" Roxanne snapped as her head was freed. Ahh, that would explain the blue jeans.
"Eee-vil never takes a day off, Miss Ritchi," he replied back just a bit smugly.
"Apparently, neither do I," she grumbled.
"That's right, Miss Ritchi, for you are vital to my plans! For you see, when your boyfriend in tights," for some reason, she huffed in frustration at that, "comes to rescue you from my eee-vil clutches, he will be doused with my Magnetic Adhesive." He told her as he circled her chair. He knew better than to reveal his plans, but if he was honest with himself, he enjoyed talking to her. And he sometimes hoped that she would be impressed with the things he came up with.
"Once coated with it, I will activate the Electromagnetic Stasis Beam which will react with the adhesive and, as the name indicates, hold Metro Man helpless. That's when we'll hit him with the Depowerizor!" he finished with a flourish.
"Uh huh," Roxanne dead-panned. "Now, I guess you want me to ask you what the 'Deflower Incisor' does."
Megamind shot her a glare. Surely she was just messing up the name to get a rise out of him. Well, she wouldn't get it this time.
"The Depowerizor," he stressed the word, "merely produces a semi-permanent, localized, quasi-entropic flux field.
"What does that even mean?" Roxanne blurted out. It looked like he managed to get her flustered, finally. It was usually the other way around.
Megamind steepled his fingers in front of his chin and replied, "Well, Miss Ritchi, it means that his powers will be effectively stripped from him. Thus putting an end to Metro Mahn!" He gave an evil laugh for effect.
"You know this won't work, right?" she asked a bit snidely.
"We'll just see about that, Miss Ritchi," he replied a bit snidely back before turning to the control panel. Always doubting! Was it his fault that the overly-muscled moron usually broke his inventions before they had a chance to activate? Everything he brought out for their rivalry was ingenious and in working order. This time, he had compensated for it though. The stasis beam was the key.
With his back turned to Roxanne, he waved Minion over. When Minion got close he whispered, "Minion, take the invisible car and leave before I start up the electromagnet. I'm not sure how your suit will react and I won't have you be as vulnerable as a sitting water fowl."
"But, Sir! I can just stay back! What if you need me?" Minion protested equally quietly.
"I…" Megamind looked into Minion's eyes, "I need you safe."
Minion looked like he wanted to protest, but then bobbed his body in a nod, "I understand, Sir. You'll get him this time!" he encouraged as he walked away. Once he left the building, Megamind did a quick check of his cameras. He really was worried about a possible electrical discharge, so he had left his brainbots at the Evil Lair. He flicked a switch to pirate the television airwaves and let the show begin.
"Mwahahahahaha," he laughed for a classic eee-vil opening. "Greetings citizens of Metrocity! It is I, your future overlord, Megamind! And Metro Mahn, I'm calling you out. Once I deshtroy you, Metrocity will be mine!" He laughed again for good measure. "And just to make sure you don't get cold feet…" he switched to a different camera to show Roxanne tied to her chair. Then he pushed a button and a Gatling gun sprung up from the floor next to her and aimed at her head. She flinched a bit, but still no scream. Drat! He thought he would get her that time. He switched the camera back to himself.
"You see I have Miss Ritchi in my clutches. If you wish to keep her breathing, you will be here within the hour." He presented a digital clock that he had converted to a stopwatch to the camera and pressed a button. The numbers started counting down from '60:00.' "Tick-tock, Metro Mahn!" He laughed again and shut down the broadcast.
Megamind flipped a switch to warm up the electromagnet, then sighed and turned to Roxanne, "Not even a shtartled gasp for the camera, Miss Ritchi? Tsk. And I thought you were a professional."
"A professional what? Journalist or kidnapee? Because, honestly, I think I'm racking up equal time as both." Then she frowned thoughtfully, "But I'm only getting paid for one… I think we need to discuss my salary, Megamind."
"W...What!?" he spluttered. "You've been kidnapped and are being held hostage! That does not constitute a pay rate!" Then he thought a minute. This could work in his favor… "Would…would you scream if we formalized this arrangement? Because you are a terrible damsel-in-distress since you never seem…well…distressed…"
Roxanne sat back and blinked like she never thought he would take her seriously. "Well," she said slowly, "if you're serious… I'm sure we could work it out in the contract negotiations…"
"We'll shedule a-" before he could say anything more, a hole was blasted through the roof almost right above Roxanne as Metro Man arrived. Damn him for being early for once!
He heard the Magnetic Adhesive trap activate and an "Eww, gross!" Taking that as meaning his aim was true, Megamind pulled a lever on the control panel and the slight hum of electricity that was present in the background increased to a roar as the Electromagnetic Stasis Beam was fired.
In the middle of the bright white energy beams Megamind could just make out Metro Man's form. Assuming that he was being held still, he turned the dial to activate the Depowerizor, laughing as he did so. Before the Depowerizor activated though, he saw Metro Man's form fly off the ground and right towards one of the electromagnets.
Realizing what was about to happen, he simultaneously held up the end of his cape and turned his body to protect himself and shield Roxanne and shouted, "NO, YOU FOOL! THE ELECTRICCAL BACKLASH WILL DO UNTOLD-" his warning was interrupted by a crash as that idiot ignored him and destroyed one of the electromagnets. Out of the corner of his eye, Megamind saw an electric arc hit the top of the Emergency Matter Transference Machine right next to him and Roxanne.
He squeezed his eyes shut to prevent retinal damage and once again shouted, "YOU FOOL! Be care-" Megamind stopped suddenly.
That was wrong.
That sounded like Roxanne's voice… He opened his eyes and saw his own shocked and very blue face staring back at him.
"Aagghh!" both he and his body screamed. His body dropped the cape he had been holding and jumped back. Megamind looked down and saw a body-shape that was definitely unlike his own and that he was tied to a chair. He looked up again and saw his body staring at his gloved hands and then it shot a glare at him and pointed.
"You…. You… What did you do?!"
Megamind could only shake his head is shock. There was a strange flapping sensation coming from on top of his head. "Miss Ritchi?" he asked in Roxanne's voice.
His body narrowed his eyes at him and hissed, "Fix this." Before anything else could happen, there was a massive thud as Metro Man landed right behind his body and lifted it up by the extended collar, like usual. His body started choking and was feebly attempting to pull on the front of the collar to get some air. Then Metro Man, who was not covered in the adhesive at all, punched the useless teleporter to the other side of the room where it broke into pieces.
"Wait! Don't-" Megamind tried to protest Metro Man's treatment of Roxanne in his body when the vibrations of the heavy equipment being tossed around caused a loose chunk of the ceiling to become dislodged and fall on his borrowed head. He became dazed and didn't understand what Metro Man was saying or what was happening when he was untied and lifted.
He blinked and felt wind rushing past his face. He also heard himself explaining something. Was he talking? It felt like his mouth was shut…
Megamind blinked again and found himself laying on a couch in a room that was vaguely familiar. What was he doing in Miss Ritchi's apartment? He sat up quickly, but was blindsided by the mother of all headaches. He quickly shut his eyes and reached up to rub his aching head. His hand encountered something he had never touched on his head before.
Hair.
He gave it a slight tug and decided that it was definitely attached. He opened his eyes slowly and focused on the blue jeans in front of his bowed head. The jeans seemed to be covering a larger area than usual. He brought his hand down from his head to touch them then froze when he saw the slender pink appendage with red-painted nails.
In a flash, everything came back to him and he jumped up from the couch in a panic. He ran to a mirror and stumbled a bit since his center of gravity was different than he was used to. When he got to the mirror, he saw Roxanne's slightly wild-eyed face staring back at him.
To test his voice, he spoke to the mirror, "Citizens of Metrocity, it is I…" and trailed off. The voice was Roxanne's but with his speech inflections.
By Pythagorean's Theorem, how the hell did this happen? There was Metro Man destroying the electromagnet… an arc flash…it hit the Emergency Matter Transference Machine… He yelled something about a backlash… What backlash? And… and why was it so hard to think?! He was in shock… that was it…
He turned to find some paper to jot down ideas and get the thoughts in his head to stop swirling. That hit to the head probably gave him a concussion or something. He made it to Roxanne's neatly organized computer desk and started searching for paper. He found several notepads, so he grabbed one just as there was a knock on the door.
"Minion," Megamind said in relief. Minion had found him and came to the rescue once again. That fantastic fish! He ran to the door and threw it open with a, "Min-… Wait. I don't know you…"
"Oh, ha ha, Roxanne," said the overweight red-headed man at the door. "Mr. Lawson has been calling you for, like, two hours now! There's a fire and he wants us to cover it, so, like, let's go or whatever."
"Cover?" Megamind asked in confusion. "Oh, you mean to report?" he asked in sudden realization.
"Well, duh. You ok, Roxie?"
Megamind leapt at the opportunity that presented itself, "No! I am not 'ok.' I was kidnapped and just got back."
"Uh…so? You always work after a kidnapping. So, let's go."
"I really don't feel like myself today," Megamind tried again. Boy was that an understatement. Then he remembered something, "Oh, and I think today's my day off. So tell Mr. Lershon to get another reporter-lady." He shut the door in the poor guy's baffled face.
"Sorry Roxanne, but you really don't want me filling in for you," he whispered to the air. Minion! He had to get to Minion and the Evil Lair! His schematics were there and he could figure out what happened and how to fix it.
He stopped as a thought occurred to him. If he was here, that means Roxanne…. Oh no…