So Damn Hard
You said you loved me.
I didn't believe you.
I dismissed it with a shake of my head.
Your hands dropped to your side.
You stared at me, wide-eyed, shocked.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered.
A moment passed.
One,
Two,
Three.
You pull me into a kiss.
I don't respond.
You slowly pull back.
You stare at me.
This was hard.
So damn hard.
"How do you know how I feel?" you exclaim.
I smile a small smile.
"I don't." I respond.
"But I do know," I say as I turn my back to him.
"That it isn't me you love."
Silence.
"That's not true." You say quietly.
I turn back to him, with another small smile.
"Yes it is."
"I've always known."
"It was just too hard."
I sigh.
We were getting nowhere.
"You can't just pretend." I say.
"I'm not her replacement." I say.
I put my hand to my heart.
"I have feelings Sora."
I choke back tears.
This was hard.
So damn hard.
He stares at me some more.
Scratches his head,
And sighs.
I'm pulled into an embrace.
He strokes my hair gently.
"I'm sorry…" he whispers.
"I know," I choke.
I gently push him back,
And smile.
"Go get her." I say encouragingly.
He nods.
"Thank you." He says.
With a kiss on my cheek,
He turns,
And begins to run,
To where she is.
The moment he is gone.
I fall to pieces on the ground.
Why?
It was a lie,
But it was a beautiful lie,
That I wanted to believe,
With all of my heart.
I sobbed harder.
And imagined him saying he loved me,
And really meaning it.
It would never happen.
He would be with her soon.
The way it should be.
The tears ran down my cheeks uncontrollably.
I watched them drop on my pale, white dress.
I knew that someday,
I would move on,
But,
It was hard.
So damn hard.
xxx
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