Spock awoke to discomfort. He exhaled slowly and waited for full awareness of the problem. Almost immediately, he felt overwhelmingly hot and sat up, pulling the sheets away and then his shirt off. He felt as if ants were crawling through his veins, and he found it difficult to focus.
He recognized what was happening. He had felt this way before, seven years before, and seven years before that. But pon farr never got any easier.
He had to steady himself as he stood up from the bed and made his way to his washroom. Hanging on the hook behind the door was one of Nyota's bras. The sight of it made his head spin. He leaned over the sink and rinsed his face. It was hitting him hard this time.
Spotting the bra in the mirror made his anger flare. She had probably smirked when she left it there. He reached for it, and suddenly remembered her leaning over in front of him on the bridge the day before. Normally he wouldn't reflect on such things. But the thought of her red skirt hanging gently over her - SNAP. His hand came away from the door with the hook, leaving a stump behind.
He looked at the broken hook and bra in his hand and took a few calming breaths. He tried to clear his mind. It was a natural biological process, he knew how to handle it, he was not weak-willed. He would finish up in the bathroom and then call her, and she would understand.
Nyota occasionally liked to visit Spock after waking, before duties began. Sometimes she slept over, but it was illogical to do so very often since the bed was sized for a single person and she had her own quarters. She didn't mind; she liked sleeping in her own bed. But before breakfast, she could catch him alone even if there was much work to be done.
She had access to his room, so she simply entered as usual.
"Spock?" she said, seeing his bed empty. And then, there he was, in the threshold of the bathroom holding her bra. She felt suddenly cautious - something was off about him.
"Why did you leave this?" he asked about the bra.
She thought she sensed some tension in his voice. Studying him for just a second, she briefly suspected she knew what might be happening. He had discussed pon farr with her so she would be prepared when his symptoms began. Strangely, the thought that it might be time sent a jolt of desire through her like venom from a stinger.
"I'm sorry," she said, holding out her hand, "I'll take it."
"There is no need to leave personal belongings -"
He paused when he realized he had unintentionally raised his voice.
"I know," she said calmly, nodding.
"Nyota," he swallowed, "we have previously discussed that this year I would experience pon farr. It appears to have come on over night."
She said nothing, but approached him and placed her hand on his arm. He felt his head spin again, and his pulse raced.
"It's okay," she breathed, embracing him. "I'm right here."
He gasped at the rush of endorphins he felt. He looked down at her and touched her cheek. She thought he looked concerned or scared and rested her cheek on his chest.
Leaning against him, she started to feel a little dizzy. She wasn't sure if it was the surreal situation or the thought of what was about to happen, but suddenly she had no more words of comfort. She had thought about what she would say when the day came, how she would help him see that it didn't have to be a weakness or an affliction but an opportunity for a new experience, but none of that mattered anymore. She kissed his neck and thought she felt him tremble against her. As she raised her head, his lips met hers with haste and passion and his arms caressed her waist.
Spock held her close to him and found relief and comfort in her embrace, though his desire flared. Simple biology. He kissed her neck and breathed her scent, and he was suddenly grateful that he was not only partnered, but in love - for the first time - during this episode. He had never felt such a strong connection. Perhaps this was why the symptoms had come so strong so suddenly.
Nyota began to remove her uniform, holding his gaze. He realized his mind was blank as he watched her and vaguely realized that he was probably entering plak tow. Naked, she let her hair down and embraced him, kissing him eagerly, and he returned her enthusiasm. When she pulled his pants off, he felt a cool rush of air to his sweaty legs.
They moved together over to the bed and she realized his breathing had become slightly labored. She looked him in the eyes, wanting to ask if he was alright, if she was doing anything wrong, and then realized she was panting too and sweating just as he was. His lips met hers again; he barely seemed to register her pause.
Spock felt like he was in a daze, somehow both detached from the situation yet hyper-aware of every feeling. Her lips, her touch, the moisture of their skin, all of it sent waves of pleasure through him in such a powerful way he could barely think. This was the way of pon farr; once every seven years, he had no choice but to let go of his logical mind and give himself to intimacy. He understood this, he knew the reasons for it, but the words didn't occur to him. He kissed her shoulder and heard her moan at the simple touch.
"Nyota," he breathed in her ear.
She looked at him. Her mind was hazy. His face was warm and green and beautiful and she wanted him.
"I believe I've entered the final stage," he said in a hushed tone, seemingly wracking his mind to find the words. "You may be experiencing the same symptoms..."
She said nothing, but kissed him again. She knew about the final stage and how the chemical change occurring in his body would kill him if they didn't continue. I'm here, she wanted to say. You have me. Everything is alright. But then she realized what he was telling her. Was she really experiencing the same hormonal reaction? Was this possible? The thoughts danced by in the back of her mind as she loved his mouth and messed up his hair.
Holding each other, they assumed a lying position, her on her back and him on his side, and as Nyota draped her legs over his waist he curved his legs toward her and was immediately in her - no hesitation, just feeling, just mating, just gasping and moaning. She held his head and kissed him tenderly as he thrusted into her like that, like that, right there, and she felt so full - not only with pleasure but passion. She was full, the moment was full, there was no room for anything else except their love, their bodies, their bond.
Spock was never totally silent during sex, but now he was mmm-ing and sighing and breathing in a way that felt almost animalistic. But he wasn't embarrassed or frustrated, he was happy. He felt euphoria coursing through him as if it were some element in his blood. And again, he was grateful. For once, he didn't resent pon farr, but relished it, appreciated it, cherished it for what it offered. And he was grateful to her, for loving him, for being there, for caring for him, for making him whole.
He let out a sharp gasp, his peak only moments away, and rested his forehead against hers, as he reached down to rub her right there, like that so she could get there as he did. She let out an intoxicated happy sound somewhere between a laugh and an exclamation. He felt as if there were a light glowing inside him that grew so bright it burst out. Her reaction became louder, and he kept his rhythm as their orgasms made their legs shake.
"I love you, Nyota," he breathed after they collapsed into the pillows.
He let his emotion come through as he said it. He wanted it to, before the hormonal effects wore off completely.
"I love you, too," she answered, catching her breath and kissing him again. "So, so much."
They were spent and tired, but they didn't fall asleep. They lied for a while stroking each other's backs before they rose to shower together, holding each other and kissing as soap foam ran off their skin.
"Could it really happen?" she asked afterward as she dried her skin with a white towel. "Was I really feeling the symptoms? Even though I'm human?" She wasn't concerned, just curious.
"I'm not certain, but I believe so. Given the strength of our bond, it is not entirely surprising."
She looked up at him, processed the answer for a moment, and smiled.
"It was amazing," she said, and then added an ancient Orion word Spock recognized as a reference to the pleasure the sky feels when the first summer sun rises.
"Yes," he said, touching her arm, echoing her sentiments.
She placed her hand over his. He was back to his old self.
"I'm honestly a little sad it's over," she added.
"I believe I may now have a better understanding of your requests for more affection in our private interactions."
"Really?" she asked, amazed. Finally? she wanted to say.
"Yes. Your affection brought me great comfort in a more powerful way than I'm usually able to experience. Given my heritage and experiences, I believe it stands to reason that this more closely resembles the comfort humans derive from affection on a regular basis."
Nyota nodded and looked down. It was all back to logic, now. He understood, but would that change anything?
"Nyota, I love you. I want to give you that comfort. Always." His sincerity was unmistakable.
Misty-eyed, she met his gaze and then threw her arms around him. He held her and ran his hands up her back.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Thank you," he replied softly, holding her more tightly.