Sakura Springer

A/N: Boredom and watching Jerry Springer brought this idea to me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything dealing with Jerry Springer.

Warnings: Probably a crack like ficcy. Some male on male jokes. Some strong language. Definitely some OOC. If you gots a problema with anything I said don't read it.

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"JERRY JERRY JERRY" The audience chanted loudly as they clapped their hands for the host.

The spotlight fell upon the host's features. The viewers noticed the new character, all movement from the people stopped at the sight of the girl. She had emerald colored eyes and short pink hair. She wore a happy smile.

"Who the Hell are you?" a member in the audience asked.

"I'm the freaking host! You got a damn problem with that?" Sakura answered, being so easily tempered.

"Where's Jerry?" another person randomly said.

"Um...he died? Bwahahaha...Eh hmm...Yeah that's it," Sakura replied with an evil grin. Someone bursted out, "What if we don't want to see your ugly forehead?"

Sakura smiled as she walked over to the audience member. She formed a fist, punching the person in their stomach. The person fell on the floor, and she skipped along the painted yellow brick road paved on the floor back to her spotlight.

"Any more questions? Hee Hee!" Sakura smiled with a happy little grin.

The audience in deep shock ended their chats and silenced theirselves in their seats.

"Tonight's segment is called "Why did my brother let me live?" This has to do with two brothers Sasuke and Itachi. So let's bring them out."

The two brothers walked onto the stage glaring at one another.

"Fuck off, Itachi! This is my time to tell everyone what a bastard you are!" Sasuke snickered at Itachi.

Itachi smirked with a calm demeanor,"Maybe they don't want to hear you. All you do is whine and cry about how I killed everyone. Why can't you get over it?"

"You don't see that something's fucking wrong there? The way you say that." Sasuke pointed out.

Itachi calmly replied, "I killed them because they were weak. What is the problem with that? I mean it's the past."

"Could you two please SHUT UP and SIT DOWN??!!" Sakura giggled, with a twitching evil look.

The two brothers took their seat beside the other. Sasuke tried an attempt to pull out a kunai to aim through Itachi.

"Now you wouldn't try to do something like that on live television," Itachi briefly said. Sasuke put the kunai back into his pocket.

Sakura cleared her throat, "Sasuke, what happened to you? I mean are you gay?"

"What the Fuck?"

Sakura babbled, "Well come on I mean every girl likes you and you brush them off like they're nothing. Is there a problem? Are you gay or something? I mean do you have something going on with Naruto or something or maybe your own brother?"

"What revelance does that have with why my brother let me live?" Sasuke asked her.

"It's probably cause you and your brother had something going on that he let you live," Sakura shrugged her shoulders.

"Sakura...I am not gay!!!"

"Yes you are!!"

"I AM NOT GAY!!!"

"Yes you are!!"

"Fuck you, Sakura!!"

"How about you fuck me?...Time for a short commercial break!!" Sakura announced.

Commercial Break

A woman flying through a hurricane storm starts speaking.

"I know there's a horrible storm out there! But this is of a greater importance!! We are currently trying to locate a lost patient from a mental institute. His name is Sasuke Uchiha. If you have any information of this man's whereabouts please come out and call this number. 1-800-emo check out. Along with that we have another important matter to ask you to assist us with. Another man accused of murdering 5000 men has escaped from his jail cell. His name is Itachi Uchiha, please help us find him. He's a great danger to himself and other people. So please call 555-sharingan pwns with any possible breaking information in this case."

End Commercial Break

"Aren't you glad I called geico? I mean..we are back with our guests Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha."

Sasuke let out an exhausted sigh. Itachi brushed his long silky darkened hair.

Sakura explained to the folks, "I think we should bring out another guest. This person knows the truth about Sasuke."

A blonde-haired goofy smiling boy came onto the stage. He brought his ramen, that he was slurping. He waved to the audience and stared at Sasuke.

"YOU" both Naruto and Sasuke busted out to break the slow tension.

Sakura chirped, "I lied to both of you. I knew that if I told you that the other would be here someone would try to run away."

"You damn jackass! You go and fuck off!" Sasuke directed his anger at Naruto.

Itachi finished brushing his hair, as he painted his nails a nice blue violet color.

Naruto asked him, "Sasuke! What is hell your damn problem?"

"You, dumbass! What does my brother letting me live have to do with you!!???" Sasuke asked.

Naruto sarcastically said, "Maybe it's because you screwed your brother that he let you live so that you'd screw me!!"

Sakura gestured him, "Itachi, say something."

Itachi explained while looking at his nails, "What can I say? I mean Sasuke is gay. I know he's gay by the kinds of things he likes to do."

"Fucking Shithead!!" Sasuke flipped his middled finger at Itachi.

Sakura said, resting her hands on her hips, "Oh no you didn't! You didn't just call Itachi a shithead!"

A random viewer spoke up, "Beat his ass, Itachi!" Another member interrupted, "How about I beat your ass?"

Sasuke rushed over to the first viewer, kicking him in his private area. Other viewers started picking up chairs, throwing them at other people. Someone threw a brick at Naruto, getting him involved into the fight. The fight started to get violent, with tables turning over and choking. Naruto strangled someone for hitting Sasuke.

CENSORED

The following program has been censored for the possible exploiting violence taking place. We will take you to a commercial break as the situation is dealt with.

Commercial Break

A man ducking from the invasion of Aliens continues to hide in his cave.

The man said, "Live from this cave I have an important announcement to tell everyone...The mothership has landed!!! Aliens are coming!!"

An alien starts to sing, "Camp Down races sing this song Do Da Do Da...Camptown races sing this song Do Da..."

End Commerical Break

"We're back again from another break. After the damage inflicted on the studio, we will have to end the program early today. The show will be cancelled until everything is fixed. Bye!!"

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