A/N: Hey guys!!! Merry Christmas and Happy Belated Chanukah. I know I haven't written/updated in over a year now. Sorry about that. College is whooping my butt. I don't know what you've heard, but the english program at Yale ( Go Bulldogs!!)... not easy. Thank the gods for winter break. Anyway, earlier today I was looking at my old work and I found this little gem you're about to read. I don't want to give too much away.... all I'll say is that MTV totally stole my idea. Enjoy :)

Ps. This is the original. Please don't report it! After the original I'm going to post a rewrite. Promise!!

*****CHAPPIE 1!!!111*****

I Dunt Fink Im Hofwatz Anumore.

"PRUS GED INTO HOFWATZ RITE NAOOOOO, HURRIIIII" abercrumbie nd quiddich shuted ova da roarin wund

"HOLD ON! I HAF 5 FIND TOTU" PRUS.. I MEAN I SAYED LOLOLOL I 5get I am riten in 4th parsom i mean 1rst parson I ged 1rst and 4th parsons cunfuzzed.

"This is no time 2 b follin aroundz deres a torbado u crazay gurl... helooo ur hares gonna b messed up" nevs sayed

i ignored dem. Totu waz mai chiwawa i culdnt lev him owtside wen dere waz a tornadu. I mean kowz get suked up in dose fings. a wittle chawiwew wuldn't stand a chans. I had 2 do dis.

"Toto?" "Here Totu...tutu?" "TOBUUUU WHAE R U?"

den i heard yip yip yip. I turnd 3 da noise it was him!!! it was totta!!! I started to run I was so happo i didt realize i waz runnin stat 4 the twista.

Everi one waz shutting 4 mi 2 stap... I didn't here dem sum red sparkli shews hit mii on the head nd i whited out liek in da old pokemon gams.

wen i funulli woke agoon I saw dis orange gurl wif supa long nailz, and a sweet bumpit in hur head was looking at mii.

"Welcome 6 da Jawzy Shaw Bitch 3" she said. I whited owt again.

A/N: Hahaha Does the new character sound familiar? Okay, here's the rewrite just like I promised. :D

--Chapter 1--

I Don't Think We're at Hogwarts Anymore

"PARIS! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GET INSIDE NOW!" Harry shouted over the roaring wind.

"I CAN'T. YOU KNOW I HAVE TO FIND TOTO!" I yelled back. Toto was my Chihuahua, and my very best friend. I couldn't leave him to fend for himself in this storm. There was a tornado coming. Cows, trucks, and entire houses wouldn't stand a chance. My 2 pound dog would be a goner. Though, what chance did I have? Sure I have magic, but weather spells are super tricky and dangerous. All I knew was that my dog was lost out there, and I had to help him.

The others were still pleading with me to come back to the safety of Hogwarts. I ignored them the best I could. Although, I'm pretty sure I heard Neville say something about the wind ruining my hair? Didn't he know I couldn't be bothered with that right now! (Please don't tell him I said that.)

"TOTO! HERE TOTO! TOOOTTTOOOOOO!" I felt like I had been out in the wicked storm for hours when I finally heard what I'd been waiting for. Yip Yip Yip Yip. Toto! I scooped him up and started running back to Hogwarts.

Then I heard the most awful screaming and rumble, like a huge freight train coming towards me at a thousand miles per hour. The tornado had arrived. There was no use running. I held Toto tighter, whipped out my wand. I was about to conjure all the weather stopping spells I knew, but something hit the side of my face before I could do anything.

I blacked out.

I don't know how long I was out, but when I finally regained consciousness some strange orange girl was staring at me. Not only was she orange, but she had the longest nails I had ever seen, and there seemed to be some sort of rock underneath her hair. "I'm definitely not at Hogwarts anymore." I thought.

Then the orange girl confirmed my thoughts."Welcome to the Jersey Shore Bitch 3"

A/N: I know it was a little short, but I hope you enjoyed it. Spoiler alert: That's Snooki incase you couldn't tell!!!!!!! ;D ;D