April Fool's Day is here!...here's a little celebration of mine!
Here it is!
Summary - This April Fool's Day at Der Riese Waffenfabrik, Richtofen plots his revenge on his old nemesis, Ludwig Maxis, by...giving him a skunk? OH YES! That, and so much more! Maxis is in for a shower of shame this April Fool's Day when all of Der Riese is about to be turned upside-down with Edward's insane antics!
Chapter 1. April Fool's Day at Der Riese!
Name: Der Riese, Waffenfabrik.
Location: Outskirts of Breslau.
Date: Tuesday, April 1st, 1945.
Time: 5:11 A.M.
Maxis sat down at his desk with his usual cup of black coffee, staring at the box that had been waiting there for him. When it had arrived he wasn't sure what it was, but he was curious as to what was inside. He sipped at his mug, tired.
The box suddenly moved, making the man jump in surprise. He sloshed scalding black liquid from his cup over his hand. He cursed at the pain. He felt sudden frustration at how it had surprised him, the desire to see what lay within overcame him and he sat down his mug. He would soon regret wanting to find out what was within the box. Quickly, he grabbed the shuddering box and worked on untangling the cardboard. With a quick jerk and a tug, he succeeded in opening the lid!
He was assaulted with a green spray.
"Aghhh! Vhat zhe hell!?" Maxis cried in alarm.
Outside Richtofen stood in the shadows of the predawn light, grinning from ear to ear as he heard a scream of surprise from the room. A horrible stench wafted outside.
Because inside the room, the box had revealed the terrible prank. Inside had been a highly agitated skunk, ready to unload its wonderful chemicals on the next person it laid eyes on.
Richtofen slunk away into darkness, rubbing his hands together and cackling happily.
9:35 A.M.
It was a beautiful day at Der Riese, the sun shining down brightly. The steel walls glinted in the brilliant light, and the warm breeze warranted a good mood. Everyone was supposed to be occupied with work on the scientific breakthroughs and element 115. Supposed to be. Unfortunately, it was April Fool's day at the factory and few were paying any mind to their work.
Those who did were diehards and those who weren't...well let's just say they were too busy with...other things. Like trying to stay upwind of Dr. Maxis.
Least of all involved in his work was Dr. Edward Richtofen. Finally, he would have his total and complete revenge on Dr. Maxis...through pranking! He was pleased that he had already started.
What better way, after all, than to amuse everyone but the victim, bringing great shame and humiliation to them. It was perfect. The only problem was executing his plans, and watching out for Maxis at the same time.
He was striding down a long hallway past the animal testing laboratory where he'd just exited. Intent on what was going to happen today. His ingenius mind going through multiple schemes that he'd get away with. Chuckling to himself now and again. He rounded a corner and came face-to-face with...Dr. Harvey Yena.
Richtofen smiled, saying, "Ah, Dr. Yena, I'm so pleased to meet you here. I'm in need of your assistance!"
The Hyena eyed the psychopath wearily, uncertain and not amused, finally he sighed. "What do you want, Edward?"
"Vell, Maxis has not left his room for avhile now, und I need to speak vizh him about zhe DG 2...could you check on him?"
"Yeah, whatever." Harvey said and walked off.
Richtofen stared after him for a moment. "Zhis is going to be a vunderbar day indeed!" He mumbled to himself.
10:15 A.M.
"Zhat rat Edward vill pay!" Maxis yelled as he exited the bathrooms, fully dressed and mostly cleaned up. After he'd been sprayed by the skunk, it had got loose and wreaked havoc on his office, scattering important papers and leaving a giant mess. It had taken the better part of the morning to tidy up his office, take care of the skunk, and then attend to his own hygiene. His smell was terrible though. He smelt of tomato juice and skunk.
Sophia walked around the corner, nose wrinkled in disgust since she had already caught scent of what was up ahead. Dr. Yena was following her, a similar expression on his face. They caught sight of Maxis, who looked thoroughly embarrassed.
"We came looking for you! Dr. Richtofen said you'd be here!" Sophia announced.
"Yes, and he is going to pay dearly for zhis." Maxis replied, approaching the two. Sophia clasped her hand over her nose, wincing.
Dr. Yena frowned unhappily, trying to pretend that he couldn't smell the odor. "What happened?" He questioned, failing to hide his discontent, gagging.
"I'll explain...First, bring me somezhing to get rid of zhis stench!" Maxis growled, angry. They began walking down the hall, his companions subconsciously edging away from him.
Unbeknownst to Maxis, a sticker stuck to his back proclaiming; Out Of Order!
He couldn't locate his assistant, Edward, no matter who he asked, so he decided he would wait until the man emerged from whatever hole he was hiding in.
3:15 P.M.
Dr. Richtofen walked with a slight skip in his stride as he made his way to the mainframe of Der Riese where the pack-a-punch was at. He was in a very good mood. He had been in his rooms for the better part of the day, locked in and pretending he was gone whenever someone came knocking, so he'd had plenty of time to set up more misfortunes for his nemesis.
He walked up the steps toward the pack-a-punch. He was soon messing with the control panel, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. When he was done, he sat back and waited, knowing a pissed-off Maxis would show up. Because his messing with the Pack-a-Punch was a signal to Ludwig that he was up, about, and easy to find.
Indeed, Maxis did show up. A very angry Maxis. "Dammit Edward! I've been looking for you since lunch! Vhat are you doing?!" He snapped as he walked up to Edward.
Richtofen wrinkled his nose at the failed attempt to cover the skunk stench. He said innocently, "Vorking on zhe pack-a-punch machine, of course!"
"I need to speak vizh you about zhe package from zhis morning."
"Ahh, zhe newly element-tested skunk, ready for deployment in France." Richtofen's face was dead serious even as he made the joke.
"Don't lie Edward." Maxis growled, patience thin.
Edward sighed, then relented. "Zhat box vas zhe new skunk ve had tested on vizh zhe element. Didn't you say zhat you vanted updates?" He gave an angelic smile.
"JA, BUT NOT DANGEROUS VONES!" Yelled Maxis, drawing attention from nearby scientists, who took notice of the sticker on his back. They began pointing and snorting. Coughing and choking into their hands when Dr. Maxis glanced back at them.
"All in zhe name of science, meine freund!" The insane doctor beamed brighter than a sunray as the head-scientist turned his attention back to him.
Maxis was about to speak, when a man came up behind him and said, "Zhe mainframe has had a...breakdown..." He trailed off, staring at the sticker.
"Vhat?" Maxis asked, glancing over at the man absently.
"Zhe mainframe zhere's an...out-of-order sticker on it!" He said, still staring at the sticker, entranced.
"Out of order? Since vhen?" Maxis said, finally turning around and breaking the man's line-of-sight with the sticker that had so infatuated him. Maxis still had no idea that it was there.
"Since...I'm...oh...ahahaha!" The worker burst into a fit of laughter, doubling over with tears streaming down his face.
Maxis looked confused, glancing at the other scientist there, and Edward shrugged, pulling his most benevolent look.
"Vhat's so funny?!" Maxis demanded, frowning.
The man guffawed, turning away and stumbling off like a drunk.
"Okay zhen, I vill have to have someone figure out vhat's going on vizh zhe mainframe. I'm not zhrough speaking vizh you, zhough." He said to Edward and left, shaking his head in confusion.
Richtofen's face broke out into a grin and he too exited the area after several minutes had passed. He walked onward, for he'd planned a meeting with someone and he was anxious to get there.
Not long after, Richtofen met up with Dr. Schuster in the auto-garage.
He whispered, "Schuster, here are zhe directions for today. Carry zhem out promptly and discreetly. Only get help from zhose who vant to show Maxis up!"
"Hehe...Yes, it vill be done!" Schuster grinned eagerly.
Not long after, more schemes were taking place. The cages in the animal testing lab had all been opened up!
5:11 P.M.
Samantha sat on a chair, petting her dog Fluffy occasionally and playing with a couple of dolls.
Richtofen walked in and smiled. "Samanzha, your fazher vanted you in his office..."
"Really!?" She said, excited. Maxis never let her in there.
"Ja, it's urgent." He said, feigning worry.
"I vill go right avay!" She jumped up and ran up the stairs, Fluffy following.
"Zhis just gets better und better...Vunderbar!" Muttered the Nazi, walking back the way he'd come.
In Maxis's office, intense, quiet, concentration was going on. He was in pure silence, his entire attention devoted to the screen before him. He sat at his office chair, staring at a monitor, his face annoyed. He was trying to discover the problem with the mainframe.
Suddenly, he jumped as a picture of a large zombie face popped up on the screen just as the not-a-drill alarm went off throughout the factory.
"Meine Gott!" He cried in surprise at the sudden interruption to the silence and peace, gaping at the zombie picture. Just then, Samantha walked in.
"Daddy, what are you doing?" She seemed oblivious as a rock to the alarm.
Maxis finally noticed that his daughter had entered his office...a big no-no. He started, "VERDAMMT SA-"
The intercom blared, drowning Maxis out. "Varning, zhe shield is now active...report to zhe barracks immediately...zhis is not a drill! Repeat. Zhis is not a drill!"
"Daddy!" Said Samantha, taking full notice of the alarm now. "I-I'm scared!" She complained, sprinting towards him as he moved away from his desk.
He tripped as she grabbed his knees, staggered, toppled and crashed to the floor. The girl stared at him in surprise, confused but giggling. He slowly collected himself and came to his feet, face twisted, maintaining a forced silence.
Samantha wasn't even affected by the fall in a way that young kids should be. They should be worried, right? She wasn't! She began laughing all-out, affected in an entirely different way.
"You got a sticker on your back." She informed, pulling it off.
Doctor Ludwig Maxis came to his knees, slowly standing up. He straightened to his full height, towering over his daughter, face in shadow. He slowly bent and picked her up, walking out of his office and taking the sticker from her. He felt more anger when he saw the 'Out Of Order' on it and realized why the man earlier had been laughing. Someone was pranking him and he wondered just what the hell was going on exactly now. No one had informed him of an emergency. He gritted his teeth, wishing he could figure out the cause of the insanity. He dropped the sticker on the floor.
People were everywhere! Dodging around them became something of a chore. Finally, after a full five minutes of everyone dashing about, gathering things and preparing for the worse, Richtofen's voice came over the intercom.
"April Fool's you FOOLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He laughed hysterically, followed by the sound of the intercom phone slamming down.
"He's going to pay for zhis..." Snarled Maxis, knowing now who was at fault for his bad day, what his first problem was. He sat his daughter down on the ground with Fluffy bounding up to her.
"Go on, Dear...Daddy's got business." His face was set in determination.
"Zhat's no fair! You promised me candy!" She pouted, glaring.
"Nein, I did not!" Maxis countered, silently acknowledging his second problem in defeat.
"Did to!"
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"Did not!"
"DID TO. NOW GIVE ME ZHE CANDY OR I'LL TELL UNCLE EDWARD ABOUT YOU HANGING OUT VIZH ZHAT LADY AND NOT GIVING HIM ANYZHING IN RETURN!" She screamed, stomping her foot and drawing curious stares from nearby people.
"Fine! Little blackmailing..." He trailed off at the look on her face and hurriedly fished candy out of his pocket.
He handed it over and walked off, not saying another word, leaving the girl alone with her dog.
6:00 P.M.
Richtofen sat on the catwalk in the teleporter room, happy beyond belief, there was nothing better than utter and complete mayhem. He watched confused people hurrying around, looking uncertain at what to do...he knew that not all of them had heard the April Fool's joke, and so people were trying to convince each other whether or not there was an actual emergency.
Among the frantic people, were the animals from the lab. Some were feral, making people scream at the site of them...others not so much. The more docile creatures just seemed to be trying to stay out of the way, except for those unintentionally tripping up the traffic.
Richtofen opened a cage next to him that he'd brought along. Inside was a huge rat the size of a cat.
"Go mine little friend and steal zhat item I showed you earlier." The rat ran off, feet pattering on the concrete. Richtofen giggled maniacally. He stood up and made his way to the barracks on the far side of Der Riese, hoping some people would be there.
Richtofen walked into the barracks to find several people who had not heard the April Fool's joke and were now standing around nervously. Richtofen walked in, clapping his hands together, well pleased at the sight.
"What's going on?" An anxious man asked him. "Someone said it's a prank...but I heard that it wasn't a drill!"
The Doctor grinned, happy. "Zhis is not a drill! IT IS TIME TO DANCE!" He cried, snapping his fingers.
Music blared, filling the barracks loudly, the men and women within frowned uncertainly. It was strange and somewhat insane, fast-paced music. They seemed a little worried at first. But then, slowly, it caught on, and the bored workers decided to roll with it.
All of them except Sophia, who was in the crowd. She slunk away, knowing who she needed to tattle to.
A full hour later, almost every scientist, worker and soldier were at the barracks and dancing like crazed donkeys. Richtofen was standing at a desk, passing out Speed Cola drinks to help along the insanity. Then, he joined in, leading a two-step dance. They all spun and frolicked, loosing themselves in the moment as flashing lights filled the room along with insane laughter.
8:00 P.M.
Maxis and two soldiers roamed an apparently deserted Der Riese, a little worried as to why it seemed so empty. Maxis looked formidable, his face full of hate. On his trip, he discovered the empty animal testing laboratory completely trashed. He found some loose animals there as well.
"Get your men to round them up." Maxis ordered the soldiers, pointing at the loose animals. "Any animal you spot is to be captured and brought back here."
The men stared in disbelief at all of the empty cages, knowing the mountainous task sat before them.
"Vell, vhat are you vaiting for!" Maxis snapped.
They began luring the nearby loose animals back into their cages with much difficulty. They only managed to get one back in in about fifteen minutes. Maxis hissed impatiently, but said nothing.
One of the men looked up from his task a short time later, he was on the far side of the room.
"Sir, there appears to be music coming from near the barracks." The soldier said, standing by a window, his face in shadow.
Maxis walked over until he heard the music, a deep throbbing beat that he was surprised he hadn't noticed until now. He was filled with fury, for he could easily guess what was happening. Just then, Sophia walked in and explained everything she'd just witnessed. Maxis was even more outraged, if that was possible.
"Come vizh me." He told them, forgetting about the animals.
They entered the barracks, the music volume increasing.
Maxis pushed his way through a crowd of dancing people, his face angry. He was very pissed, and being jostled by the people there wasn't helping. Someone even spilled green Speed Cola on him. Behind him, two guards followed, eyes upfront, trying to avoid the dancers. Together, with some difficulty, the three managed to crash the party in the barracks that had attracted so much attention from several of the locals of Breslau and Der Riese. They, the workers and locals, were now all there, partying. Having fun. How very unacceptable!
Dr. Maxis and his guards approached the man responsible for the chaos, Dr. Richtofen, who was dancing shamelessly at the front of the room. He held a green perk bottle in one hand, and in his other was a knife that he chaotically jabbed at anyone who got too close. He kicked his heels together and stomped, laughing and screeching above the music. The others seemed not to care, though.
"Arrest him for zhat false alarm and all zhis recklessness!" Yelled an angry, disheveled Maxis, pointing at the insane doctor, who stopped and stood there grinning mischievously, sipping at his drink. "Put him in a cell, I don't vant to see him for a very long time!"
Nothing happened.
He turned to find the guards chasing a large rat with glowing blue eyes through the mob. Maxis shook his head, remembering his earlier orders to capture all the loose animals, then he realized something. It was holding his tape recorder in its mouth, running up the stairs! The guards tumbled over each other and several dancers in an attempt to capture the fleeing rodent.
Maxis glared at Edward like he was prepared to barbeque him.
"Looks like I'm not zhe rat, now, am I Maxis?" Edward spouted, happy and tossing his knife into a nearby wall. It jutted and swayed there.
Maxis dashed after the rat, knowing he needed that tape recorder for later. A full ten minutes later, one of the soldiers managed to nab the rat. The soldier was holding the rat, grimacing as it struggled and squealed.
"Here's your tape-recorder." He said, handing the object to Maxis.
Maxis glared, "Arrest him!" He repeated, pointing at Edward. "I don't want to see that ugly face anytime soon!"
The soldiers grabbed his arms, "Let go of zhe doctor, Schweine!" Screamed Richtofen, struggling, dropping his drink.
Maxis let off some of his fury by mocking Richtofen's voice. "Let go of zhe doctor, Schweine!" He jibed in a high-pitched voice, face twisting in derision. He stuck his tongue out, making a face at his enemy.
Richtofen actually laughed, "Ah, so you make fun, ja? Gut for you, Herr Arschgesicht! You can kuss mich am Arsch!" He spewed sarcastically.
Abruptly, Maxis straightened up, furious. "Und put zhat rat down!" He snarled as the offender was dragged off.
11:50 P.M.
Dr. Maxis hit the recorder button to began his message and Sophia waited patiently. He was exhausted from this day's events and Richtofen's tricks. Thankfully, he would no longer be bothered by that fool. He started his message.
"Sophia this letter must go the the Reichstag High-Command immediately. Gentlemen...It is with the utmost urgency that I draw your attention..." He rambled on his well-rehearsed message. Little did the duo who were all business know, that a man stood in a darkened corner where no one would see him, completely unnoticed. The man pulled out a device, and flipped a couple of switches on its side.
A Gersch Device hit the floor next to the two recording the message. A black hole appeared.
Interrupting Maxis, Sophia screamed, "WHA-?!" It swallowed the two up. The man chuckeled and emerged into the light. It was Dr. Schuster. "Heh...he had no idea how few of zhe vorkers vere actually on his side." He smiled and left the room.
11:55 P.M.
"Vhere am I?" Muttered Maxis standing up, staring around the room and shaking his head, disoriented. Sophia also stood up, looking comfused.
Quickly, their befuddlement turned into horror.
They were standing on a large stage with a banner hanging above their heads. The banner said; I'M ON THE STAGE OF SHAME BECAUSE I AM A STUCK-UP FOOL AND I WAS RUDE TO THE DOCTOR.
Maxis and Sophia looked like complete fools, too, with their mouths gaped opened like shore-stranded guppies.
The Doctor stood on a chair in the crowd of cheering and laughing Der Riese workers inside the barracks, his large rat perched on his shoulder. On either side of him, was the two soldiers who had 'arrested' him, also grinning happily and high-fiving.
Dr. Richtofen screamed, "APRIL FOOL'S, MAXIS! UND YOUR EGO VILL SIMPLY CEASE TO BE! AHAHAHAHAH! ZHINK AGAIN BEFORE YOU MOCK THE DOC!" He said, ending in a vicious, pleasure-filled snarl.
Even Samantha, who was at the back of the crowd perched on a windowsill, was greatly amused, smiling and chewing on some candy. "Zhat vas great!." Fluffy, who was on the floor under the window, barked in agreement with her owner.
Richtofen's revenge was complete!
Midnight finally struck, everyone(Except Sophia and Maxis) agreed that it was the best day at Der Riese in a long time!
The end of April Fool's...for now!
Translation - Earlier, Richtofen said "Ah, so you make fun, ja? Gut for you, Herr Arschgesicht! You can kuss mich am Arsch!" Translation= "Ah, so you make fun, yes? Good for you, Mister Assface! You can kiss my ass!" Haha, I couldn't resist a good old German insult!
Want to see more holiday fics? Then review on the next holiday you want to see made into a Zombies fanfic and I will write it!
I will try to do at least one a month, probably more, depending on the amount of the more popular holidays within the month...so, suggestions? Review!