A/N: Although Carmilla and Laura being a couple is canon, it didn't take place in this AU.
Carmilla is reading actual quotes from the Carmilla novella. They are out of order though.
Spoiler Warning: Carmilla talks about the Christmas Special and briefly about Elle.
The title was named after the song "Heavy in Your Arms" by Florence + The Machine.
This isn't a happy fic and I have yet to type Part 2.
I don't know how this is going to end.
…
"Carm, why are you standing out here?" Laura asked her roommate, who was standing outside of the apartment door.
"I wanted to sleep out here for the night."
"Uh...okay?"
Carmilla rolled her eyes, "I forgot my keys, Creampuff."
"Who let you in?"
Carmilla pointed to a guy down the hall that waved.
"If you don't have a key, then they don't even let you in the building."
"You make it sound like this is Fort Knox or something."
"How did you get in?"
"I said you were my girlfriend."
"But you're not."
"I know, but he doesn't know that."
"I'm surprised that you didn't use your "seductive eyes". Laura said while using air quotes.
"You gonna let me in or what?"
Laura moved to the side so that Carmilla could enter their apartment.
Carmilla walked over to the lazy boy, pulled a lever, and propped her feet up.
"That's not even what vampires call it."
"I'm surprised you didn't flirt your way in."
"I don't flirt with just anybody."
Laura sat down on the arm of the lazy boy.
"Laura, you're gonna tip it over."
"You'll probably get stuck since I bet your leather pants will stick to it."
"I thought you liked my leather pants."
"I do."
"So why are you insulting them?"
"Because you didn't do the dishes."
"It was your turn, Hollis."
"No it wasn't!"
Carmilla was about to argue more when Laura dashed out of the room. She came out with a giant easel that had giant paper attached to it.
"I knew you were organized, but this is too much. Are you trying to make me go blind?"
Laura's chart had the days of the week in bright colors along with what chore each one of them had for the day. Each chore had its own bright color.
"I'm getting nauseous just by looking at it."
Laura pointed at the day and sure enough, it was Carmilla's turn to do the dishes.
"I told you!"
Carmilla put her hand in front of her face like she was blocking out the sunlight that was blinding her.
"It's late for you, isn't it?"
"I'm not going to bed until you do them."
"What are you gonna do, stand behind me until I do them?"
"Yes! I saved all the dirty dishes."
…
Carmilla was staring down piles upon piles of dishes.
"I feel like you did this just to spite me, Buttercup."
"No way, Carm, I was just hungry." Laura said with her mouth full. She was eating a s'more without the marshmallow and had at least three more on the plate.
"Whatever you say."
…
Carmilla had been scrubbing the "dishes from Hell", as she referred to them, for the past thirty minutes. It was taking so long because some plates had dried food.
"Hey Carm, you missed a spot." Laura said as she pointed to a small speck on one if the last dishes left.
The vampire turned around, "If you point out another piece of food on this, then you'll lose that pretty little finger of yours."
Laura quickly withdrew her finger.
"I'm going to go watch some KindaTV now."
As she turned around to leave, Carmilla had pulled her close with one arm.
"No, you're going to help me dry these."
"I have to find out what happens to our doppelgangers!"
Carmilla rolled her eyes, "You already know, we lived through it."
"So? It's fun! Even the actress that plays you look good in leather pants too."
Carmilla ignored the comment and placed the last plate on the drying rack. She had Laura move closer to her by having Laura stand in between her and the sink. Her hands were on either side of Laura.
"You always tell me that dishes don't clean or dry themselves."
"Carm, they're on the drying rack already. There's no point in me drying them." Laura mumbled as she grabbed a clean dish towel to dry the plates that couldn't fit in the drying rack.
Carmilla ignored her roommate as she leaned in close to Laura. The scent of lavender was intoxicating for her.
Laura froze when Carmilla was so close to her. It wasn't out of fear, but because Laura couldn't remember the last time that her roommate so purposefully so close to her.
The dirty blonde put the last dish away. LaurA inhaled sharply when she felt the vampire's lips brush against neck.
"Ow, Carm! I'm not a portable snack!"
Carmilla backed away with a confused look on her face when Laura turned around to face her.
"Did I...bite you?"
"No, but those things are sharp! You need like a concealed weapon license for those things."
The vampire rolled her eyes, "Those things have saved you plenty of times."
"Yeah and I saw you use them to kill someone for Christmas."
"You specifically begged me to 'Murder her for Christmas!' as you tried to drag yourself away from her."
"She turned people into cookies!"
"...That you ate."
"How was I supposed to know she did that?"
"Were they good?"
"Of course, they were cookies, who were once people, but they still tasted good!"
"I bet you taste good."
"Your charm might work on others, but not me.".
Carmilla sighed, "Thanks for ruining the moment here, Fun Sucker."
"Yeah well, you suck at everything."
"The dishes are done, so I'm headed to my room. Enjoy your creepy obsession with your wife, Natasha Negovanlis."
Carmilla was walking out of the kitchen and to her room when she heard Laura yell, "She's not my wife!"
…
"Stupid Carm and her leather pants."
Laura was sitting on her bed with a bowl of popcorn on her lap while she clicked the Carmilla Season 1 playlist on KindaTV's Youtube Channel.
"Let the sexy vampire watching commence."
…
Carmilla heard a loud scream come from Laura's room. As she ran there, she tripped over the easel. She would've kicked it with full force if Laura hadn't taken her time on making that damn chart.
She almost broke the door off of Laura's door hinges.
"What the hell happened?"
Laura had threw her popcorn in the air during the scene where the onscreen version of herself and Carmilla kissed. The popcorn was literally everywhere in her room.
She tried to close her laptop, but Carmilla opened it before she could. The brunette pressed play and saw the infamous first kiss. It was odd that it wouldn't go to the next scene or video. Instead it repeated again.
"You and your fangirling have to stop. How do you expect me to sleep?"
"You don't need sleep, Carm."
"I don't need a roommate either, but here you are."
Laura looked at Carm and pouted, "Please help me clean up the popcorn?"
"No."
"You can have some!"
"A majority of it's on the floor. As edible as you look, I'm not eating popcorn that got anywhere near you or on you."
"Hey, I took a shower!"
"Yes, I can tell. You don't smell like pizza."
"Pizza isn't always my go-to for food."
"I know because a majority of those plates were yours."
"Oh look Miss I'm-too-good-for-human-food."
Carmilla picked up an unopened dark chocolate Hershey bar, opened it, and started eating it. She closed her eyes for a moment and a small moan passed her lips.
"You two can get a room if you're going to make that noise in here."
Carmilla made the sound again, but did it in more exaggerated fashion.
"Shut up, Carm! You're distracting me." Laura said when she clicked on the season two playlist.
Carmilla brushed off some popcorn and sat next to Laura as they binge watched season three as well.
"Hey Carm, look at this!" Laura said excitedly as she pointed at the screen.
"What?"
"It's called Chinmilla."
"Oh boy…"
"Can we watch it? Please?"
"Not until we pick up the popcorn."
"When did you become so responsible?"
"The moment popcorn started scratching up my leather pants."
Laura looked at Carmilla's thigh and saw that the popcorn was ruining her pants.
"You can wear something of mine."
"All of your clothes are too cute for my taste."
"Are you saying that I'm cute?"
Carmilla rolled her eyes.
"The faster we clean this, the faster we can watch Chinmilla."
Laura hopped off the bed and started cleaning up everything.
Carmilla did help by cleaning it off of Laura's bed. Some of it fell under Laura's pillow. When she picked it up, she saw a novel underneath.
"Your obsession with Natasha was enough to deal with as it is. You got a book about me?"
Laura raced across the bed, grabbed it, and held it close to her chest.
"I can't believe you were snooping!"
"I wasn't doing that at all! Your stupid popcorn fell underneath it, so I was being considerate and cleaning it up for you."
"So what's it about?"
"What is what about?"
"The book."
"You and me."
"I figured that, but what else?"
"You seducing me with your vampireness."
"Can I read it? I might need to plan ahead."
"No, it's mine! Get your own copy."
Carmills scoffed, "I knew you were territorial about some things, but not this."
"It's...it's special to me, okay? My Dad bought it for me when he learned that your name was Carmilla."
Carmilla was taken aback, "He did?"
"Yeah, he spent like a fortune to get the special edition. It even has the author's notes and everything at the end."
"I didn't know that your Dad would go through all that trouble just for a book with my name."
"He likes you, you know. He even said that if I dated, you would be the perfect match for me."
"Your Dad has his own opinion. I want to know what you think."
"Well, you're a pain in the ass and a horrible roommate! You're worse than when we were at Silas U. It's like your hair clogged in the drain like tripled in five years. You still eat my food, especially the chocolate and cookies."
"Not my fault you leave sweets around."
"Your room is so dirty too!"
"Stop exaggerating."
"I have seen your floor like once."
"Very funny, Creampuff."
"I'm serious here! If you don't change your habits then I'll…"
"You'll do what?"
"Move out."
"Seriously? You put up with it before, so why can't you do it now?"
"It's because things are different!"
"How so?"
"Because I like you!"
"What?"
"I like you, okay? Even if you're some 300 hundred year old vampire that's super broody, wears leather pants, and is so loud at night that I can barely sleep."
"You like me? Look Laura, if this is some sort of joke…"
"My feelings are not a joke!"
"Hey, I wasn't saying that. I just meant that you like pulling pranks and I wasn't sure."
"I have liked you since you became my roommate."
"No, you liked Danny first." Carmilla almost growled when she mentioned the red headed Amazon woman.
"Yeah well, she treated me like a little girl. You never did."
Carmilla was silent for a moment.
"It's because I knew that you could handle yourself."
"What happens now?"
"I don't know. I have to think about this. Relationships aren't really my thing, especially after Elle."
Laura wanted to comfort Carmilla. She had heard about Elle and the way that she had treated Carmilla. It was understandable that Elle was frightened of her and felt betrayed by Carmilla. She couldn't even imagine what she would've done if she was in Elle's shoes.
"You can take all the time you need, okay, Carm?"
The two of them finished cleaning up and watched Chinmilla together.
Laura saw that Carmilla wasn't sitting as close to her like normal. Although her roommate was watching the screen, Carmilla was in her own world.
Laura put her hand on top of Carmilla's, "Hey Carm?"
Carmilla stiffened at first until she realized that it was Laura talking to her. The vampire looked at her.
"Yeah, Creampuff?"
"Where'd you go?"
Carmilla looked away from Laura, "Nowhere."
Laura squeezed Carmilla's hand softly, "I'm here for you, no matter what, Carmilla."
"Thanks, Laura."
…
After Carmilla had left, Laura just sat on her bed thinking about her. She hated that Carmilla had dealt with so much pain and heartbreak. The only woman she loved had called her a monster.
So what if Carmilla was a vampire and didn't have a beating heart? It didn't make her feelIngs invalid just because she wasn't a human anymore.
…
Carmilla was on her bed and crying. She never cried, especially over some human that she met five years ago.
So what if she had hit on Laura during their first year at Silas? Laura had, unintentionally, made a fool out of her.
She wasn't angry at Laura though. She was angry that a small group of humans had bested her and tied her to a chair with garlic of all things!
For laughs, Laura had apparently had brought it with hr when she moved in and with the rope included. Carmilla hadn't seen it since she moved in, but could sense it was there.
Carmilla laid her head down on her pillow and stared at the ceiling. She didn't need to sleep, but it was a good way to pass time.
…
A week had passed by and the atmosphere in the apartment had completely changed. Carmilla had changed along with it. She actually did the things that Laura had been begging her to do.
The shower drain was clean, Carmilla's room was beyond neat, and the dishes were always cleaned no matter what.
Even if Carmilla hadn't eaten anything, she still cleaned Laura's dishes for her.
Usually, Laura tried to keep cool, but this was too weird, even for Carmilla.
…
One evening, Laura found Carmilla sitting in the lazy boy reading a copy of Carmilla. Her copy wasn't as fancy as Laura's, but it was still really beautiful.
Laura did find it a bit odd since Carmilla normally read philosophy books. She mainly read about Nietzsche. Laura tried to read his work, but she stopped when she realized how much of a pessimist he was.
She finally understood why Carmilla was so damn broody all the time. Carmilla enjoyed quoting other famous philosophers too.
"If your dear heart is wounded, my wild heart bleeds with yours."
Laura looked at Carmilla, "You okay?"
Carmilla pretended like she didn't hear Laura.
"Truth I know not why I am so sad. It wearies me: you say it wearies you; But how I got it-came by it."
"Are you seriously talking to me by quoting Carmilla?"
"I have been in love with no one, and never shall, unless it should be with you."
Laura didn't know how to respond.
Love?
Carmilla had been in love with Elle, hadn't she?
Laura walked over to Carmilla and pulled a chair right in front of Carmilla.
"Dearest, your little heart is wounded…" Laura whispered to Carmilla.
Carmilla didn't reply, so Laura assumed that she could continue.
"...Trust me with all your love spirit."
Carmilla replied, "...But curiosity is a restless and scrupulous passion, and no one girl can endure, with patience, that hers should be baffled by another."
"Do you think, that you will ever confide fully in me?"
"You do not know how dear you are to me, or you could not think any confidence too great to look for."
Laura put her chair back in its original spot. She took the novella out of Carmilla's hands and put it on the table beside the lazy boy.
Normally, she would ask Carmilla to move, but Laura could tell that she wouldn't listen to her.
Instead, she sat on one of the lazy boy's arms and slid down. Laura had accidentally landed on Carmilla.
"Sorry."
Carmilla didn't move, but she didn't make Lsura move either.
"Carm, don't go somewhere that I can't follow, please."
Carmilla snapped out of whatever trance she was in and looked at Laura, "We shouldn't be together, it's not right."
"You can't just make up my mind for me!"
"I have made up my mind. I'm moving out, Laura."
"No Carm, please don't." Laura whispered, feeling her heart breaking into a million pieces.
"I have to go, Laura. I can't stay here with you anymore, especially not after I admitted how I feel about you."
"So you're just going to run away like you almost did when you were up against your mother?"
Carmilla got out of the chair so fast that it made the lazyboy rock very hard. She had such a pained expression on her face and Laura wanted to take back what she said.
"Running away is all I really know, Laura, it's what I'm best at. You wouldn't have to worry about having such a
…
A couple of days later, Laura saw Carmilla packing up her things. Carmilla didn't have a lot to pack away which was odd. She could've sworn that Carmilla had more things than what she shoved into her suitcase.
Carmilla was almost done zipping up her suitcase when Laura rush into her room. She pushed Carmilla out of the way, unzipped the bag, and was taking everything out.
Laura didn't care if she made a mess.
"You can't go! I won't let you leave like this!"
Carmilla saw that when Laura was facing her, she was crying.
The vampire finally understood what the fictitious version of herself meant when she said, "If your dear heart is wounded, my wild heart bleeds with yours".
Carmilla took a deep breath, "Get out of my way, Laura. You can either sit here silently and watch me pack or I will remove you from my room, by force if necessary."
Laura knew that it was just an empty threat and that Carmilla would never hurt her.
Carmilla had made her hands into fists and her fangs were showing.
"This is why I never should've wasted my time with a human like you."
She moved closer to Laura, "One day, you're going to die, and I'm going to be alone all over again. I'd rather leave you before you leave ne, through death. Just let me go, Laura. You'll easily forget about me."
Carmilla had the saddest smile on her face, "Please, Laura."
Laura wrapped her arms around Carmilla and held her close, "No. I don't care if you beg me, I won't let you go. I just found you."
"Don't make me use my ability that will make you forget about me."
Laura knew that vampires had unique abilities, but it seemed like all of them were able to put humans under a trance. She wasn't sure if Carmilla was bluffing or not.
"You have three seconds or else I'll do it and I mean it." Carmilla's voice was cold, like a winter's night. Each word was like the rough winds that could cut someone's face.
Instead of her voice cutting into Laura's face, it was cutting into her heart.
"Three…"
"Please, Carm!"
"Two. Don't make me do this to you, Laura."
Laura unwrapped her arms around her and gripped tightly onto Carm's shirt. Laura couldn't stop the sobs from coming and she could feel that Carmilla's shirt becoming soaked.
"One."
Carmilla put her fingers under Laura's chin. She forced Laura to look into her eyes.
Laura felt Carmilla's gaze pierce through her. Those beautiful eyes were truly a gateway into Carmilla's soul. She was beyond broken, but not irreparable.
Carmilla had to concentrate to make sure that she erased every memory that she shared with Laura.
The girl that she was madly in love with her would never remember their first meeting.
She'd never remember when Carmilla came into their room with champagne and two wine glasses.
Carmilla could tell that Laura was fighting her as hard as she could. Of course Laura would do that, she was stubborn as hell. Her heart was pure compared to Carmilla's. That was what she loved the most about her.
The vampire couldn't let herself taint Laura's life any longer.
She could see the light fade completely from Laura's eyes. They were now dull and Carmilla could see her reflection in them.
Carmilla knew that she only had a few minutes before Laura reached consciousness again. She
threw everything into her suitcase, zipped it up, and tossed it out her bedroom door. She didn't care if it might've been damaged. It was nothing compared to what she had done to the love of her life.
She was never going to find someone like Laura again and she knew it. She had waited over 300 years for her.
Carmilla repeatedly told herself that Laura gave her no choice.
Laura was falling and Carmilla caught her in her arms.
She carefully laid Laura down on the bed, tucked her in, and kissed her.
It was her first kiss and would be the last one she shared with Laura.
As she put her hand on the door knob, she turned to look at Laura one last time.
"Goodbye, Laura Hollis. I hope you live a long and happy life with someone that deserves you."
Carmilla had made sure to leave any trace of her around the apartment.
There was one thing that she took from Laura and it was her stupid yellow pillow that she always had.
She stared at the book that Laura's dad had given to her. Carmilla's hand hovered over it, but she dropped it.
The brunette had taken enough from Laura, so she let her keep that item.
Her spare keys were left on the counter. She picked up her suitcase and made sure that the apartment was secure before she left.
As soon as she shut the door, she rested her back against it, and felt herself lower to the ground.
"God, what am I doing?"
Carmilla almost fell backwards when she heard the door open.
She stood up immediately and Laura was looking at Carmilla with a confused look on her face.
"Um. Excuse me, but who the hell are you?"
Carmilla knew what she was supposed to say.
She was supposed to say, "Carmilla. I'm your new roommate."
Instead, she just said, "Nobody."
"Oh well, would you mind leaving? I'm waiting for my new roommate so…"
Carmilla picked up her suitcase, "Yeah, I'll Get out of your way."
"Thanks, she should be here soon."
Carmilla was about to take a few steps away from the door when she heard Laura talk again.
"Do you think she'll like me?"
"Who?"
"My new roommate."
"Of course she will, she'll love you."
"You think so?"
"I know she will."
Laura went back inside the apartment that they used to share and Carmilla walked to the elevator.
As the elevator doors closed, she felt a single tear fall down her cheek. When she wiped it away, she didn't see a clear liquid, she saw blood.