CHRISTMAS WISH
Summary: Written for the Charlie Lives challenge over at LJ: Charlie's first christmas. Charlie is found and brought back for christmas day.
Author's Notes: Don't be fooled by the beginning! It sounds a little like Claire's first christmas at first. I know my writing has been slow lately. It sucks, sorry. I hope you PB&J fans appreciate this fic though seeing as Charlie died two days before christmas. Hope you like it:
Silent as the dawning day, she sat alone. From the sand impression she had formed, it was clear she had not made one single movement for hours. The beach was quiet, most of the castaways were asleep (well, those who were not eager to look out for this rescue boat) But not her. She hadn't slept for a time, she wasn't sure how anyone could sleep now. She was sad. Desolate. A woman with a broken heart could not sleep. Not now anyway. Her broken heart still beat. And she still breathed. But she had not spoken. And she had not moved. Ever since the group had returned and she had heard the news, she had not and would not say or do a thing. Nothing but sit and stare. And think. She couldn't feel a single thing. She was numb. Cold. Miserable on what was supposed to be a happy day. A time for family and love. A time for sharing and closeness. Christmas…a time to celebrate. But who did she have now to be happy with? To share anything with? And what would she celebrate? Rescue? The fact that she and her baby were safe? It didn't mean anything to her now. Nothing did. Baby Aaron was in his crib a few metres away from her. Not making a sound, just like her-she barely registered his presence. Maybe he sensed the desolation she was feeling. Maybe he was miserable too. His first Christmas, an utterly sorrowful one.
The orange and pink of the sun rise peaked over the calm and cold ocean. The ocean. Of course. The very watery evil that had taken her Charlie away from her. Charlie Pace, a man undeserved of his fate. Death was his reward for getting rescue. For saving them. She yearned his presence on this day. And for many, many days to come. He had been dead two days. Two days. Nobody on the island was celebrating Christmas this year. Nobody was even celebrating rescue. She had no idea what these people had wanted for Christmas this year, but she sure knew what she wanted. She thought it obvious. It was only now had she realised it had been all she wanted from the beginning. Him.
She remembered Christmas when she was a lot younger. She would be up at 6am at the latest, bouncing around in her night clothes and rushing to the lounge to open her gifts. Her mum would come down not long after and join her. They would spend the day together and have a wonderful time. Of course, that was before all the arguing began. But it never snowed on Christmas day. How she had wished for it to be cold enough. Now it was too cold to bare.
As the sky formed bright colours up above, she closed her eyes. And though it was probably the most silliest thing she had ever done, she wished. She was old enough to know wishes didn't come true. But she was desperate. She used up what little hope she had remaining, and she wished. Wished for him to be back, wished for him to be alive, wished to hear his voice again, to see his face, to gaze in to his eyes. This was her one Christmas wish. To be with Charlie again.
She opened her eyes. Claire wasn't sure how long it had been, but she had fallen asleep. She looked around her. Someone had moved her to her tent. And Aaron was gone. Presumably with Sun or someone. She sat up, her back aching. It didn't seem like long had passed. She watched the people walk past her. By their faces, you wouldn't be able to tell it was Christmas day at all. They were frowning, miserable. She wondered what Charlie would be doing if he was here. He would probably be trying to cheer everyone up and be singing for them, perhaps attempting to play his damaged guitar. She smiled at the thought. He was always trying to make other people happy. If only he could do that now. Then again, if it wasn't for him, she supposed they wouldn't be unhappy now.
Claire decided she wanted to be alone. Being here wasn't exactly helping her. Everything here just reminded her of Charlie. So she stood and walked along the beach thinking about the Christmas she and Charlie never shared. He had done so much for her, she wished he was here so she could repay him. Today should have been a special day. Now it was just another day to mourn.
As she walked she thought she heard a noise. A voice. She estimated it to be around mid-day at least and she was so far away from camp she thought it strange somebody else would be out here. But somebody was. So who was it?
"Hello?" she called. Her voice was rough from not speaking. She had almost forgotten about her vow of silence. But it didn't matter. She listened for a response. A response that soon followed. It sounded like this person was in pain.
"Hello?" she called again, looking around nervously.
She paused, finally seeing. There he was. In the wet sand, clawing at the surface and trying to pull himself from the chilling water. It was Charlie.
For a few moments, she was absolutely stunned, glued to the floor. She couldn't move, couldn't speak. She only stared.
He looked so small and weak. Bruised and battered. He must have been in the ocean for a while. His eyes were firmly shut and his clothes were soaking wet and covered in sand as he called for help and tried pulling himself to the dry surface. But he was here. He was alive. She was seeing him and hearing him. He was here.
Claire burst in to tears and raced over, yelling his name and dropping in the sand, "Charlie! Charlie! Oh, Charlie!"
He was dazed, tired, confused. Claire rolled him over, touching his face to see if he was real. He opened his eyes gently and saw her, "Claire?"
She threw her arms around him immediately, crying and laughing, "I thought you were dead!"
He closed his eyes again, feeling emotional himself and letting the girl hold him closely, "Me too." but her touch was reassuring enough to tell him he was safe. No more was he feeling the end of Bonnie's vicious punches and lashes. Only the comforting sensation of Claire's arms around him and telling him everything was going to be alright.
She pulled him up carefully and helped him to the dry area of the beach, "Are you okay? "
He sat down, coughing a little, shuddering and wiping his face, "I'm fine..I'm..I'm alive!" he smiled and laughed. Claire sat beside him, holding his hand and grinning with him. It was at that moment, as she gazed in to his eyes, stared at his relieved face and heard his thankful laughs that she knew her Christmas wish had come true. He was alive. He was right here next to her. He was safe.
Without a word of warning, she leant in to him and held him tightly, tears of happiness falling, "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered.
"You're not the only one!" he replied putting his arm around her and holding her close to him, "I thought…I…I thought I was gonna die," he admitted quietly, jaw chattering away.
She sniffed, "I'm not going to let that happen!" she told him, "I'm so sorry, Charlie."
"Sorry?"
"I thought I had lost you. I had let you go and…." she wiped the sand from his face and looked in to his eyes, "You're safe now."
He looked down at her with a grim look, "You sure?"
She saw the fear in his eyes, "I promise," she said gripping his hand tightly and warming him up with her body heat, "I won't let anything happen to you."
She felt him shivering in her arms. She was so grateful he was alive, she forgot how he must be feeling after all that had happened, "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked watching his blue lips quiver, "You're so cold."
He smiled briefly at her, "I'll be fine," he assured, "I'm alive, aren't I?"
She returned the smile but her eyes showed worry, "We should get back to camp. Get some blankets and get you warmed up. Everyone will be so happy to see you, Charlie!"
Charlie didn't think he had the energy to greet everyone. And he was perfectly happy sitting here peacefully with her. But he was cold and agreed to go back. Even though he was tired, he felt thrilled to be able to see his friends again. And Aaron.
"How is everyone?" he asked as they walked, "Feels like ages I've seen 'em." He was limping slightly but Claire was there to help him, glad she was able to assist. She rolled her eyes at him. Here he was, feeble and having just avoided a tragedy and he was asking about the others.
"They're fine. It's been two days," she told him.
"Two days? Bloody Hell," he wiped the marks on his face and Claire looked on in concern. She had overheard Desmond telling Jack about those two women in the hatch and what they had done to Charlie.
"What day is it?" he asked out of the blue, suddenly realising he had no idea.
"Today is the 25th of December," she smiled at him, her eyes twinkling, "Christmas day."
His own eyes widened, "Crikey. What a Christmas."
She laughed, "We're nearly there."
The couple, on their return, were bombarded with shocked greetings and questions. Everyone was surprised, yet overjoyed to see Charlie back safe. It seemed everyone had their own things to say to him. Desmond was the first to take him in an embrace, relieved to know his friend was alive and Hurley was so overwhelmed he burst in to tears and picked Charlie up in a big hug. At last, he saw little Aaron squirming in his crib with his hands clasping out to Charlie, smiling as soon as he saw him. He picked the small baby up and smiled as he held him in a cuddle, "I missed you, Turnip Head."
It was such a relief to be back, to be alive. Charlie couldn't restrain from smiling, not that he wanted to. He was even happy to see Sawyer again. To see everyone's welcoming, friendly faces-it made him so overjoyed. When he said goodbye, he had given up on himself. He had thought this was the last time he would ever see these people. His friends. And his family. He had resigned himself to death, two days before Christmas. And now he was back. Very much alive.
Charlie told his story. At first he was hesitant. But everyone seemed so curious. His fellow castaways huddled round a fire as Charlie explained to his friends, long in to the evening, about how he braved his fate yet somehow managed to escape through the broken porthole. Someone had managed to find some boar, having been in the jungle to look for a decent meal for Christmas. Knowing Charlie hadn't eaten for days he was given the first piece, and then it was passed round to the others while Charlie continued with his story.
"You're quite the entertainer," Claire grinned as Charlie, now well fed and cleaned up, finished talking to the others and retired to Claire's tent where she was waiting for him with Aaron in her arms.
"Glad you think so," he smiled, a blanket round him, "Might play some guitar later…if it still works that is."
"You're looking a lot better."
"I feel a lot better," he admitted, sitting beside her, "It's a good job you found me when you did!"
Her smile faded and she fell silent.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just…I thought I had lost you."
He smiled very slightly, "I know. But you haven't!" he reminded.
"Yes, but I almost did," she looked down, "There were so many things I had wanted to say to you."
He stared in to her round, blue eyes, "Like what?"
She thought for a moment, "Lots of things. Too many things. Things like…" they locked eyes. Claire had to say this. She had almost lost him forever, and she had almost not told him the most important thing she had realised in the past few days. She had to say it, "I love you."
Charlie gazed at her, speechless. He heard the words so clearly yet they still felt surreal to him. It was only when Claire leant in and kissed him quite affectionately did he realise how much she meant it. She truly had been terrified of losing him and she was certainly not letting something like this happen again. They smiled at each other.
"Don't worry, love. I'm not going anywhere anymore." He took her hands and stroked her skin with his thumbs.
"You sure?" she asked him.
"I promise."
"Good." She didn't plan on letting him slip from her grasp ever again. As long as he was right here next to her everything was fine.
Charlie looked around, everyone had separated in to their own little groups now and were discussing the excitement of tonight, "Looks like everyone's having a Merry Christmas now."
Claire beamed, watching the crowds of people. Their frowns were replaced with smiles, their misery restored with hope. It was a wonderful sight.
"I'm sorry, I didn't get you a present," Charlie apologised jokingly.
Claire smiled, propping Aaron up on her knee and scooting over to Charlie, leaning her head on his shoulder as they cuddled contently together, "That's alright. You're the best present I could ever wish for."
The End