AUTHOR'S NOTE: So this is just yet another little gem from my veritable mine of strange ideas (I do have help). I take a non-Harry-Potter character and profile him, Hogwarts style. ADDITIONAL NOTE (hey, cool , that's still A/N): I don't intend to base the House choices on stereotypes- i.e., Slytherins are evil, Hufflepuffs are stupid, etc. but rather on what they are actually supposed to be- i.e., ambitious Slytherins; hardworking, patient Hufflepuffs, etc. Should you disagree with my choices, you have my exalted permission to ignore them.
So, let's commence with... (drumroll, please)... Will Turner from 'Pirates of the Caribbean'! Come on up, Will. Take a bow. Don't be shy.
WILL: I never am, really.
ME: I gathered that.
WILL: Good.
ME: Can we start, please?
WILL: Why should I help you?
ME: Because if you don't, I'll think up a suitable threat and then threaten to carry out my suitable threat.
WILL: Oh, very well. If you insist.
ME: Can we start already, for crying out loud?
WILL: I said that we could! You're the one bandying about with words!
ME: Okay, fine. Here we go.
WILL TURNER
House: Gryffindor
Wand Core: Dragon heartstring
Blood Status: Half-blood
Patronus: Stallion
Quidditch Position: Chaser
Boggart: Dead Elizabeth
Favorite Subject: Defense Against the Dark Arts
Least Favorite Subject: History of Magic