"Peter!" cried Susan, running towards the High King, who was standing in the courtyard at Cair Paravel.
"Susan? Is that you?" She launched herself at the tall young man, who caught her in a tight embrace and swung her around. "It is you! But how?"
"Aslan saved me, and let me through a door into his country," she told him. "It's been so long. I've missed you so much. Where are Ed and Lucy?" He placed her back on her feet before he replied.
"They're inside. We've been so worried about you; we thought that we had lost you forever. But I suppose Aslan was right. Once a queen of Narnia, always a queen of Narnia, after all."
Susan had a funny look on her face when she replied, "Actually, that's not true anymore. Perhaps it should be 'twice a queen'. I'll explain in a moment." She turned around and ran into the royal apartments, bursting into the main sitting room, to find Edmund and Lucy playing chess. She stopped dead, only to have Peter collide into her a couple of seconds later, knocking them both flat.
The two chess players glared at them, Edmund saying, "Peter, stop mucking about and act your age. Introduce your friend to us."
The siblings untangled themselves and stood up. "Ed. Luce. It's Su." Two mouths dropped open.
Suddenly, Susan felt very shy. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you all. Well, actually I did, sort of. I'm still a bit confused, but I really am sorry." Her two siblings stood up, knocking over the chess set, ran over to her and hugged her in an all-enveloping embrace. After an indeterminate time, the huddle dissolved.
Looking concerned, Edmund spoke first. "How long has it been for you, Su? It must have been hard."
"It's been three Earth years since you all died. If it hadn't been for Aslan, I would have lost myself in despair. You see, I turned into a not very nice person. But it's only been a few days in my time since I last saw you, although the circumstances were rather strange."
"Peter, Edmund, look at her eyes. They're so old," said Lucy, speaking for the first time.
Susan half-smiled. "You were always the perceptive one, Luce." She leant over and kissed her sister on the cheek. "The boys wouldn't see anything unless you hit them with a brick." Turning towards her brothers, she continued. "You see, I was at the Battle of Beruna three days ago. The first battle, that is, and I'm sorry to say I almost killed you both. I was Jadis, the White Witch, and I lived as her for over a thousand years."
Edmund looked into her eyes, and gave a slight nod, seeing the raw truth in them. Peter, on the other hand, burst out in disbelief. "But you can't be! You're our sister, Queen Susan the Gentle, not our deadliest enemy!"
"Oh?" she said, sounding exactly like Jadis, and appearing to grow both taller and colder. Despite the crackling fire, the air in the room became distinctly chilly. "Perhaps the High King would like some proof?" She proceeded regally over to the fireplace, where there were two smallswords mounted above the mantelpiece. Susan removed them, and said to her brother with the crack of command, "Out in the courtyard. Now!"
"Don't be silly, Susan. You're terrible at fencing. You'll just get hurt," said Peter, in some frustration. She just looked at him, raising one eyebrow, and swept out.
A minute later they were facing each other, Susan said, "I prefer using two blades. You might want to consider using a shield."
Peter snorted, and drew his own sword. "This won't take long. Get on with it."
"Don't say I didn't warn you." She launched into an all-out attack, and suddenly Peter found himself fighting for his life, as he had only had to do once before. Thirty seconds later the sword flew out of his hand, and he found both of Susan's blades at his neck. "Believe me now?"
"Yes," he squeaked, looking pale.
She chuckled, and passed him both blades. "Don't worry, brother mine. I'm not going to commit regicide today. But you were right. It didn't take long at all." Edmund and Lucy, who had been watching intently, burst out into roars of laughter, and after a couple of deflating moments Peter began to laugh as well.
Some hours later, Susan stood with Lucy on the walls of Cair Paravel, holding her hand and watching the sun set in sheets of flame over the western mountains.
"What was it like, Susan?"
"Well, you can't ask Aslan. You know what he would say."
"Yes," she grumped. "He will only tell you your story, not anyone else's. But I really want to understand what happened."
Susan paused for a little while. "I'm still a bit mixed up and confused about it, and I think there is a lot more that I don't understand yet. You see, I was Jadis for such a long time, and she is still a large part of me. But I really am Susan the Gentle now, this time for good.
"You see, Jadis was Susan, or what I turned into after I stopped believing. I was selfish and cruel; I treated other people as objects, only interested in using them to gratify my own desires, and casting them aside once they had served their purpose. I used my abilities solely to gain power over others; as Susan, I used my youth and beauty, just as Jadis used magic and fear.
"After you all died, I turned my soul into a cold, wintery place, full of despair and hate; just like I did to Narnia as the White Witch. I ended up trying to commit suicide, when Aslan intervened, and gave me the task of finding myself through living the life of Jadis; I forgot all about being Susan. It was only when he roared at the battle and I saw myself standing alongside him, that I remembered and realised what I had done; I had killed him not just on the Stone Table, but in my own heart a long time ago. So I asked him for forgiveness, and then he took me away, back to life as Susan Pevensie.
"A few days later he gave me a choice; whether to stay in England, or to come here. I was tired; I had been hurting for so long, and I still missed you all. So here I am, thanks to the grace of Aslan."
The sun slipped below the horizon as they stood in companionable silence.
"It was just as well that Aslan arrived at the battle when he did," reflected Susan. "A few seconds later and I would have had Peter's head off, and I would never have forgiven myself. But it was really disconcerting to see how I used to be."
Strangely, Lucy chuckled. "I've never seen Peter as shocked in his life as I did this afternoon. He's been so used to being the invincible warrior, High King of all Narnia. You really knocked him off his pedestal."
Susan smiled. "It can be pretty hard to change his mind once he's set on something. If he had used his shield I might not have beaten him; he's improved a lot since I last met him. But there's something you've been aching to ask me; I can feel it."
"Didn't the White Witch appear at Aslan's How? You remember, when the hag and werewolf tried to summon her to overthrow Miraz."
"I dreamt that after I returned to Earth; I almost succumbed to the summons. I'm not sure I would have been able to resist if it hadn't been for Edmund stopping the ceremony. But that's not what you wanted to ask."
With some embarrassment, Lucy asked, "Did it hurt? When Aslan killed the witch?"
"I imagine about as much as being smashed up by British Railways," Susan replied drily. "It was more of a relief, really, than anything else."
"Oh."
In the fading light, a horseman rode up to the gateway. Lucy pointed at him. "Look, it's Caspian. Didn't you used to think he was good looking?" she teased.
Susan felt herself growing rather warm. "You used to be such a sweet, innocent sister. Whatever went wrong?" They both laughed, and rushed together down the stairs to the courtyard to greet the rider dismounting from his horse.