I know I've not UD Always forever and Remember me, but I've been on holiday and I wrote this. Thought you'd like it, so enjoy.
The small white flakes fell from heaven like a shower of rain, several flakes falling onto his already white and grey specked hair.
It had been awhile since Gibbs had wondered up there, to see Kate again. He held a single red rose in his hand and wore a dying smile on his face, the tears slowly creeping down his frozen cheeks.
It was the middle of winter and Washington was in the cold clutches of snow and ice.
Years had passed since his last visit; back then he had watched them lower her in, the flag draped honourably across the beautiful rosewood coffin. Closing his eyes in saddening anguish, Gibbs walked down the path, sigh in pain when he saw Katelyn Todd's name carved on the cross. A cross, she would have loved that.
Gently bending down, he laid the crimson flower beneath the headstone and smiled. No words needed to be said, no thoughts needed to be noted. It was just the two of them, alone.
He hesitated before standing back up; his mind blank, focused on his last happy memory of Kate. She had been asleep, curled up beneath her desk.
Gibbs wished with all his heart that he could somehow touch her again…stroke her cheek, smell her fragranced hair…talk to her even.
Feeling desolate and hollow, he pulled a yellowing letter from his pocket. He had read it millions of times and yet it still made him wonder what both their lives would have been like if he had found it sooner…
Dear Gibbs,
I got this idea from Tony quoting one of his many films, and I'm hoping this isn't to clichéd. The first thing I learnt whilst being with you is that you never (well, hardly ever) say please, least of all to one of the team…but you did (once) and it was to me. I've often wondered about that…
Getting back to the point; since Ari held me hostage in autopsy, I've realised just how close to death I could get and…never tell you.
This letter is my last possible word in the world, and is meant for only one person, which is you Gibbs. Lately I've been having nightmares…about you dying and they terrify me. I woke up crying once.
Another thing that petrifies me is Tony or McGee will find and read this letter before you. But if you are reading this then there is only one place I can be…heaven and have nothing to lose…
I love you, goodbye and god bless. I hate having to write this knowing that when you read this letter, there will be nothing you can do about it. I don't know exactly when I fell in love with you…probably shortly after we first met…
I can see you as I write this; it's another late shift, we're alone since Tony's dad's ill and McGee is visiting his sister, so I've decided to pen everything I'm feeling as I watch you because I know it's only a matter of time before I end up on Ducky's autopsy table.
At least you know, whether you feel the same or not…
I feel like I should tell you in person, but it's so awkward because you're Gibbs. And yes, you are different to other men…I suppose that's what makes me love you so much.
You're unique – very unique – you make my heart cry with frustration…but I will always love you…for sure.
My heart is forever with you, my soul always entwined with yours and my memories belong beside you.
Remember me well,
Your Kate x
Gibbs found himself sitting beside her grave, on the snow covered grass.
'I love you too.' Was all he said, watching the sun set on the horizon.
He slipped in to a peaceful silence, closing his eyes and savouring it.
It wasn't enough. It was never enough. The woman he loved was gone. Lost. Dead. She couldn't speak, she couldn't cry, she couldn't feel his tortured pain.
Opening his eyes minutes later, he realised the darkness had set into the icy landscape surrounding him. He stood, turning to glance at her name one last time.
Gibbs knew it would be several more years before he would come back, his despair healed just a little more. He could no longer grieve; it was time to go home, back to work, back to Tony, McGee and Ziva.
Please review,
GPR