You Know You're In Band If.../A Survival Guide to Marching Band
You're a band geek if you're über excited about next year's marching band 2 weeks after it ends.
When you were in middle school, you could hear the marching band from your front yard.
You could also hear the band directors on the mic cussing at rare times and shouting often "Do it again!" and "C'mon you pansies!"
The Front Ensemble is nicknamed the Fromble or Pit in marching band terms.
Everyone either dislikes or hates one of the drum majors, yet you love them anyway.
Suddenly, you now have about 200 new brothers and sisters when you join high school band.
You hang out with your marching band family more than your actual family.
You love playing the "Yellow Car!" game
You also know what "The Game" is...*aww I lose! Damn!*
You laugh on the inside because the tallest band director, the one that's over 6'2, is scared of heights. Especially the levy-lift.
There's always an argument which group is the best. (...mellos, drumline, or saxophones?) *Easy...SAXOPHONES!!!!*
You've dreamt of throwing Dr. Beat off of the school's roof or off the levy-lift.
You were laughing hysterically on the inside when the band dirctor "accidentally" knocked Dr. Beat off the levy-lift, 30 feet up. (This was one of my favorite moments in marching band season!)
You hate that somehow Dr. Beat lived from that traumatic fall.
In one of your sets, you're two feet in front of Dr. Beat. Or it's gone off by itself while you were talking to the drum majors during water break.
Suddenly everyone loves you if you either like to share food, water, or have awesome back/hand massaging skills.
ALWAYS bring water, and at least make it a half-gallon.
NEVER wear a black or gray t-shirt. You'll regret it. You should always wear white.
You're hands have been burnt at least once from doing push-ups on the concrete practice field.
There's always a race who can get back to their spots in between sets. (Saxophones usually win.)
There's also a race who can get to the set just yelled by the band director after a water break. (Mellos or trumpets...usually.)
Fishing is life. If you don't know what kind I'm talking about, then you aren't a true marching band person. And if you know but disagree...epic fail! (A little help to you curious ones...you pretty much tap from one foot to the other going backwards on your toes without lifting your legs. Fun fun fun!!!!)
One of your band directors always have these weird little slogans to help be a pep talk booster.
If you fall, whether at practice, a game, or competition, always try to make it look like a Michael Jackson move and GET BACK UP!!!! (I know from experience and by accident this somehow worked!)
You and your band friends have more inside jokes than you can count.
Any number past 20 is in-important in marching band terms.
NEVER get a guard person angry, especially if they have their weapon in hand, twirling. (Saber, rifle, or flag? So many death options...)
Always listen to your upperclassmen, unless they're trying to pull a prank.
You're adopted by at least one upperclassman during marching season.
You think July camp is bad? Wait until crunch time in October.
Don't complain to the upperclassmen. They'll ignore you or say "Suck it up!". So don't try.
Clarinets are evil. Plain and simple.
If a tuba tries to hug you (especially a junior/senior tuba)....RUN!!!!
Never give candy or energy drinks to the drumline, flutes, trumpets, or tubas.
Tubas usually call the trombones boners and saxophones sexyphones.
You get awesome yet weird band tans. (Anyone who wears gloves such as baritones or mellos and neck straps for saxes knows what I am talking about!)
Your heart stops if someone drops their instrument. (Shout-out to Curtis!!!!)
If you leave the band, we either send ninjas to get you/kill you or organize a kidnapping party ourselves.
You've been kidnapped by the band at least once in your high school marching career.
Your band director has a little mascot to bring to the pep talk before competiton (Tony the Turtle! I think that's his name...)
When the football team is on the field, you yell "What are you doing on our marching field?!?!!"
You also yell at them "Hey guys! You're making it look shitty! We make it look good!"
At practice, if the director says "Do it again!", he's serious.
If they yell "Last run-through!", it never is.
You have a bus dubbed the Couple's Bus.
The guard always try and get a bus of their own but usually they ride the Couple's Bus or share with the drumline/pit bus.
You realize that even though the charter buses are amazing comfy, there isn't a lot of privacy.
If you're in marching band, you learn to be an insomniac or being able to fall asleep anywhere at anytime, including standing up.
Diamond push-ups are SO last year. Try clap push-ups without scraping your face off.
You've been adopted by at least one upperclassman during your freshman year. (Shout-out to Christian I'm adopting you!!!!)
You know you have to have a perverted sense of mind to survive marching band, especially saxophones.
It helps if you don't mind some cussing too.
*There's a lot more where that came from! Comment and review please and if you have any funny ones or liked a particular one let me know! I'll be writing soon!*
~nickjonasandmusic~