No good was going to come of this.
It was no doubt a horrible disaster waiting to happen. A disaster ending with a some kind of missing limb or poked out eye.
Some kind of maiming was inevitable and first aid would indeed be needed.
There would be tears, and it was all that bloody Yank's fault.
It had all started when that idiot arrived at England's front door step one pleasant sunny Saturday morning carrying a very long, heavy looking package addressed to the Brit.
"Why the bloody hell do you have one of my packages!?" Arthur inquired firmly as the Yankee handed over the large box with ease, shrugging. England struggled briefly with its weight but was quick to straighten up ad continue to stare down (up at) the other man at his front doorway with distain.
"I ran into your mailman on the way here dude- he was struggling with this so I helped him out...why are you mad...?"
England puffed out his cheeks with a scoff. Mad!?
"I'm not mad!" The Brit was quick to cut in sharply, face becoming flushed red as he juggled the large crate as if to make it look smaller and not so noticeable (impossible, it was huge.), his eyes flicking around as if someone might be watching. Alfred's blue eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Something weird was going on and as he followed Arthur into his large, old house, shutting the door behind him- he was going to find out!
...
"So...what's in the long box?" The tall American asked as he hovered behind his big brother, watching from over his shoulder as England looked around his busy study for a place to stash the cargo. Oh, this defiantly smelt fishy!
"What long box?" The blond questioned distantly, not really paying attention to his little brother as he scanned the large room. Under the desk? No too big. Atop the filing cabinet? No too obvious.
"That long box! The one you're holding in your hands right now dude!" America pointed at the brown wooden rectangle in question. This seemed to snap the Englishman to attention.
"Oh...it's ah...it's nothing." Arthur paused mid search to smile innocently at the confused Nation before placing the heavy package down onto his large desk so he could make some spare space in his storage cupboard.
"What's 'nothing'?"
Both Nations jumped slightly in surprise, spinning around quickly to both look at their little eavesdropper, England promptly scooting to the side to stand in front of the mysterious crate. New Zealand stood in the old hallway, leaning on the study doorframe, his face the picture of curious with his inquisitive smirk and raised eyebrows.
America gained. "Hey Zea! What's going on!" He greeted, striding forward to place a large pale hand on the brunettes curly head affectionately.
"Hey America, not much bro- what's going on here?" He asked, stepping past the Yank and into the room, his curious green eyes trained on his Dad. Who looked red faced and extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation.
Guilt perhaps? Strange.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out!" Alfred chimed in, falling into place next to the 16 year old Kiwi to join in on his stare. England seemed to squirm under their combined gaze before he set his jaw firmly, squaring his shoulders.
"Nothing is going on!" Arthur quipped, the tips of his pale ears becoming red. "And if there was 'something' going on, which there isn't, I would hardly see how it could possibly be of any concern to you- both of you!" The Brit puffed out his chest like an offended chicken, planting his hands firmly onto his slim hips as if to make a point.
New Zealand fought hard not to roll his eyes and stay respectful- the perfected little son. America on the other hand scoffed loudly, waving a hand in the direction of the older Nation as if to brush his statement away.
"Ohhhh come on Iggy, share the big secret already, we aren't gonna judge you!" He coaxed before he shrugged causally. "Unless it's some kind of weird sex thing...is it? Or is it illegal!? Oh my gosh, is it a human head!? You totally have some poor person's head in that box!" His gloved hand flew up to his mouth in utter horror as a very visible vain made itself quite noticeable on the shorter blond's forehead.
Idiot.
Arthur turned and swiftly picked up the the long box, rolling his eyes. "Oh do shut up, you're being absolutely ridiculous! Oh course I don't have a head in here! Now, will you both please just lea-
As England turned to carry the large crate away swiftly, a large white sticker plastered on it's side caught the youngest Colony's attention quickly. New Zealand narrowed his eyes to read the messy black penmanship it contained before it was gone from his sight forever.
Aus...
Austr..
Austria?
No wait! He knew that word anywhere, messy handwriting or not!
"Wait! That sticker says its imported from...Australia!" The Kiwi announced loudly, causing the Englishman to freeze mid stride to freedom, his eyes wide like a spooked animal. Zea pointed at the box accusingly, walking up to read more of that messy label with a cocked head sidewards. "And New Zealand! What the hell!?" He looked up at his dad with a scowl, curiosity burning in his green eyes. Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly, ignoring Alfred as the America's hands flew to his mouth once again in surprise.
"Imported human heads!?...dude..." He whispered in disgust, causing the older nation to sigh in annoyance.
"Oh for goodness sake...they are not human heads America! They're weapons!"
Silence settled around the room at his abrupt outburst.
Oops.
Red faced, England clamped his lips shut tightly, embarrassment washing over him at his own bloody big mouth and temper.
"...weapons?" The short brunette asked, blinking in the sudden information, staring up at his dad with a now an indescribable amount of burning curiosity and desire. Arthur gave a huge sign of defeat and walked back over to his large wooden desk, placing the box down carefully. There would be no stopping them now, they would find their way into this box in no time at all, he may as well just show them. Honestly, today must be his unlucky day.
"I was only just informed that I would be receiving such items." The Brit explained slowly. "I didn't see the point of getting them at all, it's not like you need or will use them. I mean, you and Jett are both barely out of Early Colony stage!"
The two younger males shuffled in closer as they watched England pull out his ornate letter opener from his desk draw and slice away the tape that sealed the cargo together. With the box now wide open they watched as handfuls of protective paper straw were scooped out gently and placed onto the desk surface for later use.
"This is so awesome!" America jittered excitedly from behind the Kiwi as they both leaned over to peer curiously into the exposed box.
"Hardly." England responded dryly, rolling his eyes and stepping back as both Nation and Colony gasped at its bizarre contents.
America plunged his hand in and pulled out a large, flat piece of solid wood; it was lavishly decorated in colourful dot like deigns and was bent at an angle.
"Hey it's one of these things!" He announced happily, holding the foreign object up high for all to see. He knew this thing, Australia had described it to him on many an occasion, a distant, happy smile always lighting up the young man's face at the distant memory. "It's a Rangazoom or something!"
"A Boomerang." England corrected, expression unimpressed. "And that is Australia's, one of a pair. The other is sharp and very dangerous so do be careful when sticking your hands into places they do not belong."
The American ignored the scolding and swung the wooden weapon around above his head as if fighting off fierce flying beasts with a childlike grin- complete with sound effects.
"Pew pew zeeeeeeeeeeewww!"
"Do be careful, don't throw it!" Britain chastised with puffed out cheeks, hands quickly coming up to cover above Zea's head as if to protect him from Alfred's stupidity.
"Relax dude! I got this!"
"Hardly!"
New Zealand rolled his eyes at the bickering two (adults, jeez!) before he plunged his own hand into the package, rummaging around the paper straw (carefully) until he found something solid and pulled it out. What he produced made him smile, his eyes became big and watery with bittersweet happiness as he pulled out the long, spear like weapon, hugging it to his chest.
Oh my god. Can it really be true?
New Zealand turned the long object over in his pale hands, inspecting it with love laden eyes; distant memories, long since forgotten stirred their way into his mind. The long wooden handle stood 5ft long, made of the sturdiest root of a Maire tree and lavishly decorated in wonderfully scary tribal carvings. At the weapons end sat a large, flat axe like stone- sharp and beautiful with many long feathers tied to its base. He sighed happily, he remembered when he had created this, carved it. When he was young and wild- free. When he had been known as Aotearoa, not William Kirkland.
The young teen was so engrossed with his old, since forgot weapon he didn't even notice the older Nations had stopped bickering and we're now staring at him curiously.
"What is it dude?" America asked, still holding the boomerang up high and out of England's grasping, tippy toed reach.
"William, are you ok lad?" Arthur too was staring at him, mid grab at Alfred's jacket in an attempt to climb up him and grab his son's weapon back.
"...Paiaka...it's my Paiaka..." The young Colony didn't look their way as he spoke, his voice low and filled with a sad kind of joy, his hands running over those weapon markings lovingly. "It's been so long...I-I...I've almost forgot..."
America smiled happily at the sight, his arm slacking enough to allow the Brit to snatch up the Boomerang.
"Every Nation...or Colony in your case, should have their traditional weapon by their side." The Yankee stated with a knowing grin as he walked forward to stand behind the shorter Kiwi, placing a fond hand on his small shoulder. "And a cool weapon it is dude, very scary looking...and sharp... You really know how to use that thing?"
England walked over to the crate and pulled out the second, well decorated Boomerang to join the first in his hands- the second was jagged down one side and extremely sharp to the touch- doubling as a knife to perform the most brutal of deaths'.
Savages. There was a reason he had wanted to hide these, this culture of theirs was a slippery slope. It could very well undo all his hard teaching efforts towards them.
"I used to be the best at it..." New Zealand replied lowly, shifting the weight of the long weapon between his hands to trail its forgotten feel. "Ahhh... it was great! Wearing nothing but my paint and my fur! I was only young but man, I felt unstoppable back then- it was like...like I was just...primal, content- deadly!" The Kiwi was grinning now, his eyes shining with absolute delight at the memories. Hunting his prey, stalking it before the surprise attack! Striking fear into his enemies hearts as he danced and sung their deaths to them...
How long had it been since he had even performed the Haka? Would he remember the words?
He had become a Colony, educated and domesticated by the great British Empire... What he wouldn't do just to practice with this Paiaka one more time...
Feel that wonderfully electric like rush of adrenaline pump through his veins.
"It's settled then!" America was clapping his hands together now, beaming down at the young Colony. "I want to see you use it! Let's go get Aus and have a fight!"
"What!" England cut in then, his face red with shock, his mouth spluttering to find the right words quickly. "A-absolutely not! No way in bloody hell!" He held onto the Boomerangs a little tighter, ignoring the sharp bite they gave into his soft flesh. "I shall not have you 'savaging' your way around my house! I wasn't even going to give you these! You have no use for them as my Colonies!"
"Dad...I-
"NO!"
"But...I ju-
BANG!
"I SAID NO WILLIAM!" Red faced the Brit slammed the Aussie weapons hard into the wooden crate, silencing any verbal retort that may have followed his mighty command. "Immortality or not you are COLONIES! You are children! You are English! You want to fight; then use a damn musket!"
With that he stomped his way out of his own study and retreated down the hall with heavy booted steps, both men said nothing as they listened to them get increasingly faint as they headed down the stairs and no doubt out the front door...
England was mad.
Both males were silent for a few seconds before New Zealand finally gave a sad, defeated sigh and began packing his Paiaka away into the crate.
"Wow, we really upset him!" America stated with a proud grin before he turned to the brunette, surprise gripping his features. "Whoa! Whoa dude what are you doing!?"
His big hand reached forward to grip the end of the spear, stopping the young Colony from putting it away.
"You heard him, I use a gun now- I'm putting these away..." Zea explained, a quiver in his voice as he tried to pull it away from the America's tight grip- it did not budge.
"Are you kidding me right now? England is gone dude. Let's play with this stuff!" He was grinning now, a shining glint of mirth in his blue eyes. Zea shook his head at him, his own eyes now glassy with tears. This hurt so much more then it should.
"I can't! I'm not you America- I didn't have a revolution. I still have to do as I'm told..." He was the good son, the obedient son that was level headed and cheerful to balance out Australia's reckless, careless wild personality.
"But...don't you want to know how it feels to wield this one last time...?" The question was a quiet one laced with sad understanding. "What about Aus? He is older then you, doesn't he miss this?"
He did, Zea knew he did. What he wouldn't give to see his brothers face light up as he held his own Boomerangs for the first time in what felt like hundreds of years...
"I...he...Dad would-
Alfred groaned and with one super strength filled pull, he ripped the spear like weapon away from the Kiwi and held it up triumphantly.
"Hey!"
Please be careful, that is so very precious to me...
"Ha! I thought you said you were 'the best' at using this shitty toothpick of a hatchet!?" He taunted with a grin. "Can't be that great if I can take it! Come on, show me what you got!" The Yankee then threw it back to the young Colony who caught it with ease, spinning it expertly in his hand before falling into a simple fighting stance.
God that felt so natural. So good!
Perhaps...just one bout of training in the yard surely couldn't hurt...right? England was gone... Australia would love it...
Australia would love it.
Straightening up the Kiwi gave a slow, calculating sigh as America plunged his big hands into the large crate to produce the discarded Boomerangs, his face alight with mischief and something more...
Determination?
New Zealand ran his hand down his Paiaka lovingly "...ok, but only for a little bit..."
The 'whoop' of happiness America gave in reply was deafening and before the brunette could react he was running past him and shouting over his broad shoulder on his way out of the office.
"I'll go get Australia! Meet you outside! Whoooo!"
He was like a child sometimes, it was refreshing. But why America was so determined to make this happen was beyond the sheep lover's comprehension.
Zea smiled, his grip on his weapon tightening as he too turned to follow the Yankee, deep down his gut was twisted with guilty disobedience. England's wrath would be heavy and vengeful for this betrayal.
But who cared, right now he felt happy. Like he had found a piece of himself that had been missing...
He hoped Aus felt the same way.
...
More Kirkland family stuff! Part 1/2!
I hope you like it so far!