A/N: Lmao it's been way too long since I've been on this site as an author. I'm usually on AO3 or tumblr, and people still whine that I deleted all my stories off my old account, TNM-Writer, but I'm back. For a classic Twilight OC-insert, lol. Please enjoy.
ooo0O-O0ooo
Prologue
Molly's death was a simple one, one that might even be seen as a habit in her family. Many had died from car crashes, and her own parents had problems with hitting deer at night. It was almost poetic, though, that on one of the first few nights out in her car, a simple 2010 Mazda3 her father bought off one of his work buddies, that she would not pay attention to the light at the intersection.
It had been raining that night, and Molly had turned up her radio when Imagine Dragons came on, singing along as she drove. So used to never paying attention to the light, distracted by her music and swaying to it, she hadn't seen what was clearly a red light. So she sped past the stopping line.
The semi-truck's front lights and brights almost blinded her, and the familiar roaring of the engine drowned out her music. Molly felt a flash of panic, catching site of the grill - so similar to the one she had stepped in front of willingly in a suicide attempt last year - but didn't have a single moment to give in to the flashback before she black out on impact. When she blearily came to, the world was turning, tires were screeching, and Imagine Dragons played through it all.
All I believe, is it a dream, that comes crashing down on me…
Molly's glasses had flown off her face during the crash, and as the car slowly rolled to a stop upside down, the only thing keeping her hanging in her seat was the seat belt. She couldn't move her head, her neck hurt too much. She'd been hit on her side of the car, meaning glass had spewn all over her, her head had slammed into the grill of a semi for the second time in her short life, and she could feel blood dripping down her head.
Just like last time, she felt the odd mixture of hot and cold of her body, the lack of energy, the pull to keep her eyes shut. It was so much stronger this time, and the sound of sirens in the distance were uniform enough to make a half-hearted lullaby.
I wanna believe…
She'd close her eyes, but only for a moment… Just a moment…
ooo0O-O0ooo
She became aware of herself very slowly, as if sifting through jello or trying to wake up from a lucid dream. It was a struggle to keep her eyes open, to keep her mind aware of what was happening. She faded in and out of consciousness, or was a it sleep? An indeterminate amount of time passed before she could keep her eyes open long enough and assess the situation.
Molly Kirkpatrick was dead. Had died? Either way, the night in her car after being slammed by a semi was the last one she had spent alive in that existence. That much she could deduce from realizing that she was now a baby, most likely having been reborn.
The idea of death wasn't as scary as it had been to her younger self. It hadn't been since early elementary, because some part of her always insisted that she was going to die before she reached her twenties, be it by her own hand or another's. And when life became so tedious and exhausting, emotionally and mentally, that she gave in and went to find her eternal rest - well, she had given the afterlife quite a bit of thought. After all, if she was walking to her death willingly, she should be prepared for the consequences.
Reincarnation had been one of those options, but all had been rendered obsolete when she survived and went into a three-month-long hospital stay and started her meds. But she had been prepared, and that never went away, the knowledge that she might be without everything that was familiar to her in a split second. She just always thought it would be illness or old age after finding suicide to be distasteful.
So putting the name Molly behind her was easy. She listened carefully and closely, trying to find out what her new name was. She was very young in this new life, probably a newborn seeing as her hearing was the only part of her that was capable of doing what she wanted it to do.
Four names became options; Charlie, Renée, Clara, and Bella. These options, after many days, narrowed down to Clara and Bella, seeing as Charlie and Renée seemed to be her new dad and mom. She was also a twin, which was new but not disliked. She eventually figured out that her name was Clara and that her twin sister was named Bella. They were pretty names, and Clara appreciated not being named Sunshine or Rainbow.
Being a baby, though, was just a whole lot of sleeping, eating, and pooping. She was barely aware for any of it, but on her more alert days she appreciated the near-constant rain, the peacefulness of her sister's soft breathing, her mother's laughter, and her father's baritone voice murmuring jokes and puns into her baby ears.
It was lovely and Clara never wanted it to end, these halcyon days.
A wise person once said that all good things must come to an end, though.
The end of Clara's halcyon days came in December, three months into her new life, preceded by weeks of her parents being stressed and anxious for entirely different reasons. Charlie's parents were ill, causing him to spend more time trying to help them and keep them stable. Renée was experiencing the baby blues coupled with seasonal depression. Things weren't going right. Bella cried a lot.
And then Renée left, taking Bella and Clara with her, abandoning Charlie to save herself.
Clara tried to think about it rationally, and she could forgive Renée partially because of her reasons; Renée had a right to focus on herself and making sure that she was doing good. It wouldn't bode well to have a mother succumbing to the sweet call of death so soon into her second life. But Clara missed her father, missed the rain and the cloudy skies, missed the green, green trees, missed the peacefulness of her father's home. And she held a sliver of resentment in her for being drug away in her helpless state.
But God, she had to try and be positive. One thing she had learned about herself that if she didn't stay motivated she began to slip downhill and she couldn't afford such.
Renée took them to California, to their Grandmother Marie Higginbotham, who got all the divorce papers ready and mailed them to Charlie. They settled into Grandma Marie's home and Renée enrolled in College to get a teaching degree. Life continued on in the sweltering sun.
ooo0O-O0ooo
When Clara and Bella turned five they were enrolled in Kindergarten. Clara hated and loved it at the same time, surrounded by snot-nosed brats who didn't understand how to spell dog, but the coursework was so easy that she breezed through it all and had free time to spare. She spent most of it badgering Renée and Marie for a puppy.
When it was announced that Renée would be moving to Phoenix, Arizona, Clara begged for three days and was finally granted her wish. When they moved into their new home, the first thing they would do would be to get a puppy. The move itself was easy, Clara spent most of the time figuring out what she was going to name the puppy.
Chevy, as she named him, was an Australian Shepherd with a full tail and quite the excitable puppy. He raced around the new house barking incessantly and wanting to play, even as Renée carried in moving boxes. He was even able to get laughter out of Bella, which Clara thought was a miracle for her all-too-serious sister.
We started Elementary school this year, which was so very irritating yet calm. Or, as calm as children trapped in a prison-like building could be. Somehow, Clara had established a reputation for being kind and outgoing, always being able to figure out what someone was having trouble with in class and willing to help. On the other hand, Bella had established her reputation as a clumsy Ice Queen; Clara's sister still blushed bright red at the mention, wondering out loud what she'd done to deserve this.
The kids who met them, at first, liked to point out the differences between the two of them. Bella had dark brown hair, Clara had brown with sun-caused red highlights; Bella was pale from staying inside and reading, Clara was pale but with sun-caused freckles and constant sunburns; Bella had scrapes and bruises from tripping, Clara had scrapes and bruises from playing outside.
When they got to know the twins, however, they pointed out the similarities. Bella and Clara both liked to read; they both liked classical music; they were both very much mature and too smart for their age; both had chocolate brown eyes; they could both trip over nothing.
Things were good. School passed and summer came. Bella and Clara went to spend a month with Charlie during the summer.
The moment Clara had stepped out of Charlie's cruiser and onto the gravel driveway of her home from so long ago, rain sprinkling the morning air, surrounded by green and peacefulness… She felt like she had taken a drink of water after a day in the desert. She loved Forks with all her heart, like Charlie, but Bella instantly hated it. She longed for the sunny, dry air of Phoenix, the asphalt and rattlesnakes, and hated the humidity and constant wetness of Forks.
Charlie took them fishing, which neither girl had real patience for, and introduced them to Billy Black's kids out in La Push. Rebecca, Rachel, and Jacob were sweet kids, all chubby cheeks, high cheek bones, brown skin, and inky black hair. Bella tended to ignore them, but Clara threw herself into playing with the three of them, despite the age differences.
Clara liked to stay up late, listening to classical music and the rain, peering out her window and falling asleep to the sounds. She never wanted to leave Forks again, it was just like it had been when she was a child. However, time continues on, and the month ended with Charlie driving them to the airport and escorting them to the plane, where the flight attendant would take charge of them.
Teary-eyed, Clara clung tightly to Charlie's soft, pudgy body, breathing in the smell of his soap and detergent, and told her father she loved him. That he should call every week. That she couldn't wait until next summer.
Bella gave Charlie and hug. They got on the plane.
Phoenix waited for them, and the moment they stepped off the plane, Clara tucked her nose into her hair and tried to remember the green and the rain.
ooo0O-O0ooo
They were ten when Bella and Chevy were hit by a car. Chevy had raced out into the road, trying to 'herd' Bella towards the house from where she was drawing with chalk on the asphalt, but neither were quick enough to move.
Clara arrived home thirty minutes later to watch the ambulance leave and hug her crying mother.
Chevy died.
Bella was in a coma.
Sitting in a white room, on a plastic chair, next to her sister as her mother cried on the phone with Charlie, Clara felt herself go numb. Bella was too pale, she thought, nearly blending in with the sheets. Her hair was pulled into a bun so as to not get tangled, and there were many wires and even a breathing tube.
"Wake up, dummy," Clara whispered.
She had not had siblings last time. She had gotten used to the constant, never-changing presence of Bella Swan. To see her, lying in bed, not fidgeting and not blushing but not asleep… It hurt her. Something wasn't right about this.
Was she supposed to exist? Had the reincarnation been a botched attempt? Could Bella had lived a life without a twin who would insist on a dog and sidewalk chalk? Would Bella have been in the street for the car to hit, then?
Clara couldn't find an answer, and she blamed herself. No one knew, she couldn't very well say 'oh, yeah, I'm not supposed to exist in this life, so Bella being in a coma is my fault.'
She and Renée visited Bella every day. Charlie came down to Phoenix, despite the fact that he sunny, dry places weren't for him. For months, this continued on as they visited daily. It slowly trickled down to weekly… And by the time Clara was twelve, it was tri-weekly.
Life goes on. And while Clara couldn't forgive herself, she put it behind her and waited for Bella to wake up.
ooo0O-O0ooo
When Clara was fifteen, Renée met Phil Dwyer and began dating again. Clara missed most of the beginning of their romance, as she'd been spending her first summer month in Forks per usual and hanging out with 12-year-old Jacob. The twins had gone on a school-sponsored trip to Hawaii, so Clara and Jacob stuck close together, along with his friends.
She heard rumors of a new family that had moved into the old mansion out in the forest area, but since she spent most of her time in La Push or on the lake with Charlie, she didn't ever catch a glimpse of these illusive Cullens. She'd taken to writing in a journal, as if writing letters to Bella, so she mentioned them and what little she knew.
This summer was also the first time Clara had a relationship, for only a few short whirl-wind weeks with a girl named Angela Weber. They had most of their dates in Port Angeles, and though Clara had a lot of fun spending time with her, cuddling, and making out, she respected Angela enough to not fight with her when she figured out that she wasn't attracted to girls in the slightest. Clara had a vague feeling it had something to do with her pastor father, but didn't mention it.
Later in the summer, back in Phoenix, she met Allen Knight, a Junior to her Sophomore. They dated all to April, and though the good times were good, the bad times were bad. Eventually, she broke up with him for her own good and mourned the relationship for all of two weeks.
The summer before her Junior year in high school, the first month she spent in Forks like usual, she heard from Jacob and the twins (who were only there for the first two days before heading out to summer camp) that there was apparently a gang forming in La Push. And the people who had formed it were all around their age but were scary enough that Jacob theorized that they were taking steroids. Clara made sure to stay away from them, whenever they might run into them at First Beach.
Renée and Phil married late into the year, on a beach in Mexico. Clara was the Maid of Honor, and she found the ceremony beautiful. She even got teary-eyed. Phil was good for Renée, the perfect mixture of an adventurer and practical, which meant that Clara no longer had to worry about what was happening with the bills and such.
He moved in soon after, but his Minor League Baseball team was getting ready to go on tour. Renée, Clara knew, felt a desperate need to travel with Phil, but the only reason she stayed behind was for Bella and Clara. Clara wanted Renée to be happy, she wanted to be happy herself, and so she proposed what she thought was the Most Amazing Idea.
"Mom, what if I went to stay with Charlie until I graduate?"
Update: Made a blog for the fic, it's on tumblr, url is sunlight-fic. Follow it for updates on the writing process, sneak peeks, and bonus scenes.