By kyllir
Disclaimer: I don't own pokémon, paint it black is by the rolling stones, and fade to black is by Metallica.
*I see a red door and I want it painted black, no colors anymore, I want them to turn black.*
Ash stood outside the pokémon center in the rain, calling pikachu. Pikachu limped towards his master and slowly climbed up onto his shoulder. Ash sighed, pikachu hadn't been the same since the accident, neither had he. Before it happened, the world was bright and hopeful, now everything was dark. He passed by the red doors of the pokémon center, they looked black to him.
*I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes, I have to turn my head until my darkest goes.*
A group of girls walked by Ash, he barely noticed them. One of them winked at him, Ash turned his head. A year ago he would have been happy if someone liked him, but now, now that he was alone he didn't want to be happy.
*I see a line of cars and their all painted black, with flowers and my love both never to come back.*
Every time Ash passed flowers, they all looked dead to him. he couldn't bear life without Misty, she had been lost in the accident, Ash looked at the ground, pikachu couldn't cheer him up, so he didn't even try anymore.
*I see people turn their heads and quickly look away, like a newborn baby, it just happens every day.*
A group of people looked at him, thinking ' there's that depressed kid again…' he turned his head and saw them, they looked away. 'why do they always stare at me?' Ash asked himself. He shook his head, 'they think I'm suicidal, that's why they stare.'
*I look inside myself and see my heart is black, I see my red door, I must have it painted black.*
Ash thought for a moment about what happened to Misty, he recalled her screams as the madman's knife cut into her, when he reached her, it was too late. The damage had been done, she would die. She had sputtered these last words to Ash: "Ash… don't let me go… I… I… love… y-" a tear ran down his cheek at remembering her. A black surge of hate had filled him since that moment. He cared for no one now, with the exception of pikachu, he had no friends.
*Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts, it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black.*
Ash wanted more than anything to just fade away, off the face of the earth. Everyday became more difficult to carry on than the last. The only reason he didn't kill himself is because he knew Misty wouldn't like it, and there would be no one to care for pikachu.
*No more will my green sea go turning deeper blue, I could not foresee this thing happening to you.*
He never thought it would end that abruptly, he had always thought that he and Misty would be together forever. He missed her terribly, even their petty arguments and squabbles.
*If I look hard enough into the setting sun, my love will laugh at me before the morning comes.*
Every night, Ash would watch the sunset, he would imagine he was still on his journey with Misty and Brock. The sky would turn dark red and he would sit with Misty and laugh at stupid things. Every night he dreamed of her, she would be laying on the ground, sputtering and coughing. Instead of talking to him, with her last breath she laughed at him.
*I see a red door and I want it painted black, no colors anymore, I want them to turn black, I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes, I have to turn my head until my darkest goes.*
Ash passed by the old church. The red doors were opened, beckoning for him to come inside. He wished the doors would be black, to match his heart. Misty's funeral had been in this church, he remembered that day: pikachu was still in the hospital, so Ash was alone. He stares into the coffin, Misty looked like she was asleep, that made tears run down his face. He remembered when they were traveling together. Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he would watch Misty. Her presence calmed him, she made him whole. At the funeral, all he did was cry, Misty's sisters were there. They had been constantly dabbing their eyes so their makeup wouldn't smear. Now, in the present, he was sitting in a pew staring at the huge cross in the front of the church. He had imagined Misty with him at the front of the church several times, but not in a coffin, but rather in a white dress.
*I wanna see it painted, painted black, black as night, black as coal. I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky, I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black.*
*************************************************
It pained pikachu to see his owner so sad all the time, but no matter what he did, Ash just couldn't be cheered up. Pikachu missed Misty too, he also remembered what happened to her: pikachu was running towards a scream. It sounded like Misty, so he ran faster. When he reached her, a man had just stabbed her, she looked in disbelief at the wound. Pikachu followed the man as he ran, he knew Ash would take care of Misty. He caught up with the man and thunderbolted him, the man fell down, but in one last evil task he stabbed the little yellow mouse in the side. Pikachu stumbled back to his trainer, who was holding Misty's hand as she said her last words. Pikachu started crying.
*Life it seems will fade away, drifting farther everyday, getting lost within myself, nothing matters, no one else.*
Ash heard pikachu sniffling beside him, bring him out of his trance for a second, but then he lost himself in his thoughts once again. Every day Ash seemed to get farther away from people, he had learned to never love again, it only leads to pain.
*I have lost the will to live, simply nothing more to give, there is nothing more for me, need the end to set me free*
He didn't want to go on, his life seemed pointless without Misty. There was nothing for him in this cruel, unforgiving world, only pain and misery in his future. He would never be happy, he longed for death sometimes.
*Things not what they used to be, missing one inside of me, deathly lost, this cant be real, cannot stand this hell I feel.*
Ash's life had become a living misery, he couldn't even stand getting out of bed in the morning anymore. His life was the definition of purgatory. It was a living hell, he had tried to forget what happened, but it was always fresh in his mind. It was the first thing that popped into his mind when he woke up, and the last thing he thought about when he went to sleep.
*Emptiness is filling me, to the point of agony, growing darkness taking dawn, I was me but now he's gone.*
Ash remembered how he had been before Misty died, there was hope in his life, now all there was for him was emptiness. Now there wasn't even dreams, only nightmares. He didn't even want to train pokémon anymore, every battle he fought was empty. He was no longer the hopeful boy he had been, now all there was left was the shell of a depressed man.
*No one but me can save myself but it's too late. Now I cant think, think why I should even try.*
No one could bring Ash out of his rut of depression, though several people had tried. Ash's mom even hired a psychiatrist for Ash, but it hadn't worked. All that the doctor succeeded in doing was bringing up more painful memories. The only one who could climb out of the rut was Ash, only he could save himself. But he had lost his will. Each day would be pointless 'til the end
*Yesterday seemed as though it never existed. Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye.*
All the days seemed to blur together, each day got him closer to his eternal reward. That's all days meant to him now. He knew this would never be what Misty wanted for him, but he couldn't help it. Death was now his obsession. He would go to the library and take out books on death, suicide, poisons, and anarchy. One day, he thought, I will be on the other side with her.
*********************************************************
Ash was just getting to sleep, not particularly looking forward to it, the dreams would plague him again. The dreams began as they always did, Ash would hear a scream, he would run towards the sound and see Misty on the ground. He would lift her head onto his lap and hold her hand. She would sputter and cough, and then would come the laughter. But this time, she didn't laugh. She drew in her last breath and said; "Ash, what are you doing with your life? You know you shouldn't act like this. You have mourned my death long enough, go on with your life…" she wheezed, and her body became motionless. Ash held her closer and cried, she was right, even if it was only a dream. He needed to go on with his life, he had made everyone who tried to help him miserable.
When Ash woke up in the morning, he saw pikachu laying by his side. He gently woke up his friend, "pikachu, come on, wake up." Pikachu woke up and looked at Ash in disbelief, usually he would lay in bed until someone kicked him out. "come on pikachu, we've dwelt on this way too long." He said. "pika?" pikachu said curiously. Ten minutes later, after astonishing Ash's mom, Ash and pikachu walked down the street. Instead of the all black outfit he had been wearing for the last year, he wore his training clothes. Finally he and pikachu arrived at their destination. Ash wandered around looking for something, when he found it he called pikachu to him. they looked at the headstone, 'Misty Waterflower, the lord guides thee now child.' Ash kneeled over the grave, "I know I should have come here sooner, but I couldn't." he placed a bouquet of flowers on the grave and a single tear glided down his cheek. After a moment of silence he said to pikachu, "come on pikachu, we've got a lot of catching up to do."
The end.