If we were to describe any aspect of our so called "shitty" lives, what would it be? Yours would probably be that your ass is too big, your vagina isn't fresh, your parents don't care about you, or you were molested at a truck stop by your "uncle" Mo in the bathroom labeled Molesters room.
You fuckers can kiss my ass. I was almost blown to shit by a bunch of flying gummi worms in space while a duck and a retarded ass dog yelled in my ear, making it bleed because I refused to use the lasers I didn't have enough munny for. I was attacked by a bunch of black people while all I had to protect myself was a huge fucking key, a few beers I bought from an old man in a store, and some stupid ass chain I found in an unlocked treasure chest that some douche bag decided to hide where everyone could see it. I had a dolphin-bitch yell at me because some squid-bitch took her tampons. I was attacked by some Mexican who went to sleep for a few minutes after I kicked his ass and when he awoke I kick his ass again just to finally shut a big fucking door. I also had my girlfriend drift away from me when she could have easily jumped over and then we could have made hot, sloppy, virginified sex while some duck and his retarded ass dog dry humped each other to our bodies as we humped to "Hikari" which ironically started playing while some big ass words rolled over me, taking my god damn screen time.
Oh and my best friend tried to kill me…multiple times.
So fuck you guys. This is how my story really went, so sit down and shut the fuck up.