Until We Meet Again :)
I feel like I'm slowly dying without you, see you were always the best part of my life, whether you were in it or not. When you finally came back to me after all that time apart, it was then that I felt complete for the first time in my life. But now you have been ripped away from me again and the thought of never being with you is killing me. Nothing has ever caused me so much pain and now being without you every day makes me wish that I'd died on the balcony of Chez Chez that night. My only regret would be you watching me die. I don't have to worry about that now though, soon my life will be over, soon I will have peace. That's why I'm doing this, that's why I've taken all these pills. See in here it's all about knowing the right people.
In another life Steven…that is what I told you and I meant every word. I will be the man that you deserve next time around, I promise. It must be hard for you, now that I've cut you out of my life, but trust me it really was the only way. It was the only way that you would move forward with your life. Maybe you'll end up hating me and becoming more than you thought possible. At least more than you could've been with me constantly bringing you down. You keep writing, asking me to send you a visiting order, but I can't do that. It's just too hard for both of us and for me it'll be like losing you all over again. I can't send you one anyway, not now I've taken the last of the pills, not now my skin is turning grey. This really is goodbye this time.
I accepted my fate, you know being in here, but living my life without you is different. I could never accept that, especially when I love you the way I do. I think I loved you from the first time I saw you. I just knew you would be the one, my one…the only one. Knowing you loved me back the way you did…the way you still do only makes me love you more, only now I can't show you. But you Steven Hay changed me forever and I will never feel any differently about you. I wish we could've had more time together because being with you, holding you in my arms, kissing you and forgetting the world together were the happiest times of my life. I have always treasured my memories of you and I know I will take them with me wherever I go.
They say when you die you go back to your happiest moment and now that I'm so close to death, I really hope it's true. I know where I'm going; I'm going back to Dublin, to our bridge. I just hope that one day, when you're ready you will join me. I will wait for you; I will wait for you as long as it takes. You were always worth waiting for and if anything it just makes me want you more. Thank you for showing me pure happiness and loving me endlessly, even when I didn't deserve it. You came into my life and turned it around; you accepted my flaws and stood by me when I was at my worst. My eyes are feeling heavy now and your face is all I see. Time has run out but I hope you know that I will always love you. I'll see you on the bridge Steven. Until we meet again.
Please review xx xx xx