Disclaimer: I'm just a Star Wars Fan nothing more, if I did own it then I'd make this fan fic into a mini series.

Summary: Classical lines from the Star Wars movies, a little messed up.

"Some one was in the pod. The tracks go off in this direction," one trooper said.

"Look sir!" another reported holding a six pack. "Beer!"

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"Some one was in the pod. The tracks go off in this direction," one trooper said.

"Look sir!" another reported holding a DVD. "Porno!"

XXXXXX

"This battle station is the ultimate weapon of the galaxy! I suggest we use it!"

"Do not be so proud of this technological terror you've constructed. It's the size of a bloody moon and you don't have one decent bar. And anyway; the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the force…"

"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, upgrade our broadband or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebel's hidden fortress. Don't make me laugh myself to death!"

"Won't I?" exclaims Vader, and he proceeds to tickle the man with the force. "I find your girly laughter disturbing…"

"Vader that's enough!" says Grand Moff Tarkin. "Release him. This bickering is pointless and very silly. The princess will tell us the location of the hidden rebel base, Vader will soon get the plans back, and this station will be operational as scheduled!"

XXXXXX

"Lord Vader, only you would be so bold. Would you like some coffee?" Princess Leia asked.

"Indeed, a tiny little bit on the dark-side. Oh! And don't forget the straw this time."

XXXXXX

The troopers come by and halt their vehicle. "How long have you had that beer dispenser?" the leader asked.

"It's for sale if you want it?"

"Really?"

"Two bucks a can."

"Wow! Thanks. Hey, do you have change?"

"Hmm, sorry I can't break a fifty, do you have ten on you?"

"I can break a twenty." says Luke.

"Cool! Thanks dudes." replies the trooper happily, and he sticks a straw in his mouth piece.

XXXXXX

"I can't understand how we got by those troopers. I thought we were dead." Luke said as he parked his speeder.

Obi-won smiles "Beer can have a strong influence on the weak minded…"

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"Are you an angel?" Anakin asks fiddling with a piece of equipment.

"No I'm the queen of Naboo, now on your knees and worship me you little brat," Padmé ordered.

Disclaimer: I realise this chapter is a little short but I haven't watched any on the Star Wars movies lately but I hope you enjoyed it none the less. A review before you leave would be nice and I'll try updating as soon as I can. The force will be will you always.