Mr. McDuck's's Missing Treasures
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Based loosely on "Rightful Owners", Part One, "Many Happy Returns" in Boom's Ducktales # 1, (YAY!)
Magica had done some research and found the location of the barber shop Mr. McDuck's once worked as a lad and earned his first dime as a tip (1) Magica found that the structure still stood, but was empty and abandoned. She snuck in and cast a spell intending to bring the Dime to her.
"Come to where he first found you! Return to where he first got you! Return now , Scrooge's ACHOO! treasures!" Magica said.
"Ut-oh! All the dust in this dirty old place made me sneeze! I sneezed instead of saying the word "greatest"! And I said "treasureS", not "treasure"! " Magica worried. "With a spell, you have to say EXACTLY what you mean, or anything could happen! What did I just DO?"
Well, what she did was to magically cause all the treasures Mr. McDuck has found EXCEPT the Lucky Dime go back to where ever Mr. McDuck first found them. So, those treasures had disappeared from Mr. McDuck's mansion. Like magic.
"Magica must be behide this!" Mr. McDuck muttered.
And Mr. McDuck picked up the phone and called Launchpad.
"Launchpad! Magica De Spell has zapped away the treasures from me mansion! I want you to fly me to Magica's house post-haste so I can demand she give them back!" Mr. McDuck thundered.
"Well, MY insurance is paid up. I assume yours is too. OK, I'll be there for you." Launchpad replied.
And shortly thereafter Launchpad came to the mansion where Launchpad picked up Mr. McDuck and flew Mr. McDuck's to Italy in Launchpad's fastest jet. (2) Soon, Mr. McDuck was fearlessly charging Magica and demanding his treasures back.
()()And Sharan wonders WHY I respect and admire this guy? ()() Launchpad thought. (3)
"You zapped away all my treasures! I want them BACK! NOW!" Mr. McDuck yelled at Magica.
"It was an accident. I was trying to zap away your Dime and I goofed. Your treasures went back to where you first found them. I don't have them." Magica replied.
"You can zap them back. Do so." Mr. McDuck ordered.
"Not unless you give me your Dime. You can either find those treasures all over again...and it took you 50 years...or you can give me the Dime and I'll zap them back in 5 seconds. Your choice." Magica answered.
"Then I'll find those treasures all over again. Without your help. Even if it takes me another 50 years." Mr. McDuck said. "Come on, Launchpad! We're going treasure recovering!"
"Yes, sir, Mr. McDee!" said Launchpad, already enjoying himself.
And Launchpad stuck his tongue out a Magica JUST before he left.
Since the Dime was safe in the Money Bin with Gizmoduck on guard, Magica decided to harass Mr. McDuck's efforts to regain the treasures, hoping to kill him or that she could grab a treasure that meant enough to Mr. McDuck for him to swap the Dime for it.
Of course, the best way for Magica to do THAT would be to grab the Trins or Webby, but she's tried that and they mess her up. It's humiliating to be out smarted by a kid.
Soon, our heroes were heading toward the isle of Rubycon. Launchpad steered an ordinary fishing boat there. I came along to take photos for the Duckburg Daily News, as publicity is good business. Launchpad and my kids where with Mrs. Beakly, "her" kids were with us.
"Here, I once traded seeds and seedlings for the candy-striped Ruby." Mr. McDuck said.
"Was that fair, Unca Scrooge? Trading seeds and seedlings for a priceless ruby?" Webby asked.
"I offered money for it. The chief who owned the diamond didn't want pieces of paper or little discs of metal!" Mr. McDuck began.
"He didn't want more expensive goods! In this group of isles, a big tummy is a status symbol!" continued Mr. McDuck.
"When I told the chief about peanut butter, potato chips and buttery corn on the cob, he WANTED to trade the ruby for peanut, potato and corn seeds and seedlings! I even threw in a few dairy cows and a bull or two! How is it unfair to trade what I wanted for what HE wanted?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"If he asked for something silly or foolish and changed his mind later, that's NOT my fault. A deal is a deal. The chief said "No" to my other offers, he could have said "no" to my offer of seeds and seedlings, but he WANTED those." Mr. McDuck finished.
Webby thought about this. She tried to explain why it still seemed unfair to her, but could not.
()() I traded a comic book I found for a pretty doll. I later found out the comic was worth money, but I didn't care, I LIKE the pretty doll.()() Webby remembered.
()() Besides, the boy I traded to didn't even SELL the comic. He just put in a mylon bag and MAY sell it 50 years from now!()() Webby giggled.
()()Meanwhile, I 'm having fun with my doll. He thinks he tricked me...but I DON"T. Maybe this is the same kind of deal? It's all in how you look at things, at your priorities."()() Webby mused.
"I spoke with the Chief of Rubycon Isle via an agent's cell phone. I offered the chief money, chief still doesn't want any. Offered him many expensive items. All he wants is a rare and expensive type of fish. Mr. McDuck said. "And fish eggs- both alive and well. If that's what he wants, that's what I'll trade the ruby for. It's not my fault if HE wants something silly."
"He wants FISH?" Webby asked.
"A special kind of fish. It's called Fugu. It's a Japanese delicacy. It's deadly poison if cut up wrong. A few people die every year eating it...and people STILL pay a lot of money to eat it. Go figure. If that's what chief wants, we'll catch him some live fish and live fish eggs." Mr. McDuck stated.
So we tossed out the fish net. It was a fine net, fine enough to catch fish eggs without hurting them. We waited. Later, we hauled in a load of fish. We quickly threw back what we neither needed or wanted before it could die. Then put the fish and the fish eggs in a large salt water tank.
MEANWHILE, a bad guy had gained access to Mr. McDuck's Cell phone "history" and found out that Mr. McDuck's had contacted Rubycon Isle. He sold this info to Magica, the Beagle Boys and Flintheart Glomgold, who somehow assumed he sold it to them alone. Right, like this is a trustworthy person you're dealing with here.
Magica flew on her broom to Rubycon Isle. Bomber Beagle flew the other Beagles there. Butch Beagle, who doesn't talk to his family, flew Flintheart to Rubycon isle. And they all got there at THE SAME TIME. And started fighting over who got to "get" Mr. McDuck and steal the candy-striped ruby.
The chief of the Rubycons soon showed up with his warriors. Who had spears. Sharp ones. They locked up the riff-raff for disturbing the peace. Mr. McDuck showed up about 2.5 seconds later. Launchpad landed off shore in his pontoon plane, which can't be easy. The chief was less than thrilled to see Mr. McDuck's.
"When I sold you ruby, I thought I finally got rid of lowlifes trying to steal it! Only it came back to me and now more lowlifes try to steal it!" Chief said. "They are in our island's jail now, but if they work together instead of fighting they might escape. That will take awhile, I think."
'I'm sorry, but those people are my enemies. They've often tried to KILL me. I brought you the Fugu, alive and well. And the Fugu eggs, also alive and well. May I still trade them for the ruby?" Mr. McDuck replied.
"Unca Scrooge, are you really going to trick him again? Trade a priceless ruby for FISH?" Webby asked indigently.
"Ho, Ho! Your Uncle isn't tricking me! I'm tricking him! Notice I'm not fat ?" Chief asked.
"Yes. But we were too polite to say anything about it." Webby replied. "I thought that being fat shows you are important, here."
"Being fat is no longer a status symbol here. It only was because we often went hungry when storms came and we could not fish." Chief began.
"Being fat proved you always had plenty to eat, therefore it was status symbol. Now we have corn, potatoes, and peanuts!" Chief continued.
"Other islands heard about what we did, and now they raise crops, too. We trade back and forth. Nobody goes hungry when the storms come. We have plenty of food in our storehouses now. That's better then a dumb rock. We have plenty of rocks, what's one more or less?" Chief asked.
"But this is a RUBY- a rare, priceless stone!" Webby objected.
"I'll show you something I did not before. My conscience has been bothering me. I do n wish to trade fish for a lifeless common stone." Chief said.
"I WANT that "stone"! And there's nothing "common" about it." Mr. McDuck roared.
"I will show you. You will know better." Chief said.
And the chief took our heroes to caves that lead deep under the isle.
"We come here when the storms come. We stay here until weather is better. But I sorta...forgot to show this to you." Chief said.
And he pointed to literally millions and millions of candy-striped rocks that looked just like the candy-striped ruby.
"See? I cheated you. I got LOTS of rocks just like the one I traded seeds and seedlings for." Chief said.
"These are quartz! Worthless quartz!" Mr. McDuck yelled.
"Ruby quartz and clear white quartz! Not red rubies or rare clear white rubies!" Mr. McDuck shouted.
"They might be a curiosity and worth a little if there were only a few of them, they're so unusual. But with so many of them, they're worthless!" Mr. McDuck screamed.
"You mean these stones AREN'T the same as your ruby? They look the same to me!" Huey made the mistake of saying.
"Look closer! These are just quartz, not ruby.' Mr. McDuck
"You're not mad? You don't think I tricked you by not telling you about these red and white rocks which look a lot like the one I traded to you to ME?" Chief asked.
"They're NOT the same as my Ruby! They are worthless!" Mr. McDuck replied.
"OK. If you say so. A rock is a rock to me" the Chief said. "If you still want ruby, I still want the fish and the fish eggs."
"There is a saltwater pool on the island. We can't grow food in it or too near it."Chief continued.
"So we put fish and fish eggs in it and make fish farm. We raise lots of fish, keep some, trade some." Chief finished. "The fact that these fish are rare and valuable means we can get more food for less fish. THAT I understand."
Mr. McDuck sputtered, but he made the trade. The fish and fish eggs for the candy striped ruby. Soon, Launchpad took us home in the fishing boat.
"One Treasure down..." Mr. Mcduck said.
"And a million or so to go!" Launchpad replied.
The End.
(1) How do I put this politely? I could not possibly care less how Mr. McDuck "really" earned that Dime, Disney. You've rebranded and reimaged stuff since Ducktales. So in Ducktales you rebranded and reimaged Carl Barks etc. without really intending to. Deal with it.
Me, I would of taken advantage of this golden opportunity and rebooted the whole shebang, so Mr. McDuck's would be 70-something and NOT 103 or so, but I'm tired of arguing with you already.
I'd say that "50 years ago" there was a second gold rush in the: Klondyke, that due to the raising price of gold and modern mining methods it became worth people's while to look for gold there again (who CARES that didn't happen?)
They found more gold than they thought they would and THAT'S when Mr. McDuck's struck it rich. By the time "Goldie" (seedy saloon owner)stole his gold, Mr. McDuck had invested most of his gold in general stores since the only sure way to get rich in a gold rush is be the one selling picks and shovels.
Mr. McDuck could have found the treasures over the last 50 years, some with Launchpad's help, some before Launchpad came to work for him and many before Launchpad was hatched.
(2) Actually, they DO belong to Launchpad. Mr. McDuck sold those planes to Launchpad for a dollar to prevent Mr. McDuck's creditors from seizing them when those robot aliens swiped his Bin. Once Mr. McDuck realized how much money he was saving on taxes by legally not owning them... ( In Launchpad and mine tax bracket, it's no problem. Especially since Mr. McDuck sold them for a dollar, they are legally worth a dollar until proven otherwise. And the IRS hopefully has bigger fish to fry.)
(3) Actually, I wonders why Mr. McDuck doesn't appreciate you properly.