One dark and stormy night, Ms. Grunkle was flying home on her broomstick, cackling all the way. But when she got to Haunted Island, she saw it had changed a great deal in her absence. There was construction tape everywhere, the buildings were all being taken down, and dump trucks were depositing huge mounds of dirt and rock on the ground.
"On the count of three," said an African-American woman in a park ranger uniform. "One, two, three!"
With a blast of dynamite, Ms. Grunkle's house was blown off the coast of Haunted Island and sent careening into the black waters below.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Ms. Grunkle demanded as she came in for a landing. "THIS IS MY ISLAND!"
"Ah, Ms. Grunkle," said a man wearing a bowler hat. "You should have received this a long time ago, but we couldn't seem to reach you." He passed her a piece of paper.
"EMINENT DOMAIN?!" she gasped. "What did I ever do to deserve this?!"
"Well," said the ranger woman, "there was that time you kidnapped thirteen children and turned them into monsters."
"I prefer to think I improved them," Ms. Grunkle replied. "Besides, that kid who went through all the trouble of rescuing the others received a full fourth-grade curriculum."
"Regardless, it has been determined that you are too scary," said the man in the bowler hat. "Therefore, Haunted Island will be changed to Sapphire Falls and I, Samuel Brannon, will be the mayor."
"You can't do this!" Ms. Grunkle shrieked, raising her wand. "I'll turn you into monsters!"
But before she could cast her wicked spell, her wand was ripped out of her hand! She looked down to see her wand in the mouth of an infernal little dog that had evidently leaped up into the air to grab it from her.
"You saved the day, Gizmo!" exclaimed an Asian girl wearing overalls. Then the sandy-haired boy next to her snapped a photograph of Ms. Grunkle.
"Wow, Sally, a real witch!" he said. "Now I'm sure to win the Junior Photojournalist of the Year Award!"
"Publish that picture and you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" said Ms. Grunkle. "And I warn you, they're blood-suckers!"
"Gee, I guess I better not," said the boy.
"Come on, T.J.," Sally assured him, "everyone knows witches aren't real anyway."
"Oh, I'm real, all right!" Ms. Grunkle fumed. "And this place is my home! I belong here, right between Mystery Mountain and Hooverville! This can't be happening!"
"It's happening, partner," said the geologist Gillian Gonzales. "Everyone else from Haunted Island has already left and gone their separate ways. I'm happy to report that Madame Pomreeda is now a phone-in psychic and Repsac has gotten a new job working for the IRS."
"And you better leave too," said the grumpy old miner Jed Mason. "We plan to start mining really soon." With that, he gestured to the construction workers as they stacked up the "INFO" tombstones and then ground them into rocks that would go on to form part of Sapphire Mines.
"So, this is what you're replacing my beautiful island with!" Ms. Grunkle snapped. "A pile of rocks! Was I really that bad? Was I really that scary to children?"
"Yes," said Ranger Addy Wise. "Now get out of Sapphire Falls!"