Someday, a glee fanfic

Title: Someday

Summary: She has Puck, and he has Rachel, but he'll never forget how he held Drizzle close and how for a few moments he and Quinn felt like a family again.

Pairing(s): Finn/Quinn. Puck/Quinn and Finn/Rachel on the side. Hints of Jesse/Rachel if you squint.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Author's Note: Tried to make this as canon as I can. Maybe a little OOC, but I'm still working on that. I don't really ship Finn/Rachel (because once Jesse/Rachel happened, there's no turning back), but they're canon, and they have their cute moments, so. Anyway. Angst ahead. You are forewarned.

He watches, astonished, terrified, not knowing what to do while every single member of the Glee Club rushes to Quinn's side as soon as her screams started to pierce the excited hush in their dressing room. He knows he should go to her, go see is she's okay, but he's scared. He's scared to see Quinn in pain, and he's scared that he might even not have the right to anymore.

"I need to go to the hospital," he hears her cry out to Puck, whose arms are wrapped protectively, possessively around Quinn's waist. His throat constricts painfully, because eight months ago he'd always pictures himself in Puck's shoes right now, holding her close, taking her to the hospital, anxiously awaiting the birth of the child he always thought would be his. It should be him, not Puck.

He sees Judy Fabray (what is she even doing here?), Puck, and Mercedes help Quinn out of the room, and the rest of the club rushes after them.

Rachel goes back for him, having realized he hasn't followed, her face ashen white.

"Vocal Adrenaline – they're next – Jesse – and Quinn –" She looks confused, and conflicted.

He knows she wants to be here when Jesse comes out to perform with Vocal Adrenaline. And she knows he wants to go and see Quinn. He clears his throat, then moves forward to squeeze her hand. "I'll – I'll go to the hospital." He pauses. "I think it would be better if you stay."

Rachel nods, and he quickly moves toward the door, hoping she doesn't see the look of despair in his face, but he pauses involuntarily when Rachel calls, "Call me as soon as Quinn delivers baby Beth, okay?"

He closes his eyes for a second, nods, then walks on.

"It's Drizzle," he says, even though he knows Rachel can't hear him.

His tires squeal loudly as he parks like a maniac outside the hospital, just in time. He sees the club by the emergency room entrance, helping lower a heaving Quinn into a wheelchair.

He runs, panting as he reaches Quinn's side; Puck and Judy had gone to find a nurse, with some of the members in tow; only Kurt, Tina, and Artie are left behind.

Quinn is breathing heavily, tears and sweat streaming down her face, and his heart responds wildly, terrified for her and for the baby. He reaches over and takes her hand in his, squatting down so they're face-to-face, not caring that Artie and Kurt and Tina are both watching him.

She turns to stare at him, looking almost surprised that he's there, and he stares back; her face is unreadable, and he has no idea what to say.

She gives his hand a squeeze, and his heart flutters.

"Will you stay?" she asks breathlessly, her voice so low he doesn't know if Tina and Artie can hear. "Until – until the baby's born?"

He looks at her in shock, not knowing why she's asking. He glances at Tina, who's looking at him almost sympathetically, and then at Artie, nods his head a fraction. Kurt looks down at his hands.

"Please?" Quinn whispers, squeezing his hand again. "I need you."

Tears sting his eyes, and then he leans over and presses his lips to her forehead; she closes her eyes at his touch.

"I'll stay, Quinn." He brushes away a strand of hair that falls across her face. "I'll stay for as long as you need me."

Before she could answer, Judy and Puck return with a nurse and they move to rush down the hallway. Finn stands up quickly, and in the commotion feels Quinn's hand slip away from his. He sees her look back at him, her eyes desperate, pleading, and he hurriedly runs after them, not caring who he knocks over as long as he's by Quinn's side. He rests his hand on her shoulder, and after a while her own hand closes over his. He fights back a wave of tears threatening to fall.

I need you, too, Quinn.

"Mom, it hurts so bad," Quinn cries out, and Finn waves his hands wildly, not knowing what to do, feeling helpless while Puck pushes the wheelchair and murmurs God-knows-what to her. He wishes he could be deaf to her anguished screams and sobs, because they strike through his heart like wounds that take a long time to heal. He wishes he could just hold her close and make all those tears go away.

But right now, he can't.

"Here we are," the nurse announces, bringing the group to a sudden halt; Tina rams Artie into Mercedes and Brittany, who releases a string of swear words Finn doesn't even know she knows. It almost makes him want to laugh but he can't, he's too scared. "All right, I only need Mrs. Fabray and the baby's father in here."

"Quick, Finn, let's go –" Judy says, and the group is suddenly, tensely silent; so silent that Judy raises her head in confusion. Quinn raises her tear-streaked eyes to Finn's, then to Puck's, then down to her lap. She doesn't bother to correct her mom.

"I'm the father," Puck says defensively, almost aggressively, looking almost hurt at Quinn's lack of response.

Finn tries to act like it doesn't bother him when Judy glances at him questioningly, but he's never been much of an actor. He sees Mercedes looking at him with a sympathetic expression and he looks away, uncomfortable. He feels someone's hand – Mike's? Artie's? – on his back, maybe trying to be sympathetic, he doesn't know. But he doesn't turn to see who it is; his eyes are fixed solely on Quinn, wishing he is in Puck's place, wishing he could be the one to sit beside her bed and hold her hand every step of the way.

He's hurt when Quinn turns and grabs Mercedes' hand, pulling her into the delivery room with them. He's hurt because she asked him to stay with her and it's as if she doesn't even remember he's there.

But then she turns to face them, and her eyes find only his; her brown eyes are sorrowful and anguished, and she mouths, "I'm sorry," before she is wheeled away.

The waiting room is silent. Tension is in the air. Every now and then they would hear Quinn's distraught screams. Finn notices every member of the club wince every time they do.

He paces the room restlessly, and he watches Artie take Tina's hand, Santana lay her head on Brittany's shoulder, Mike and Matt talk in low voices, and Kurt look distractedly into space. Their faces all look troubled and anxious. He sits down and breathes deeply. This can't even begin to describe how he feels.

He hears Quinn cry, "Let me go!" and he can't take it anymore. He stand up again, shaky on his feet, and leaves the room. He needs some fresh air, he mumbles to the others watching him curiously. He tries to avoid their concerned eyes, especially Mr. Schue's, who's probably the only person in the room who knows exactly how he feels.

He just can't stand hearing Quinn in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

"Not exactly what I imagined this day would be like."

Finn doesn't turn around; he just shoves his hands in his pockets and stares into space, trying to get himself under control.

He lets out a deep breath. "Yeah."

Kurt walks slowly to him, his eyes unreadable. "She's gonna be okay, Finn."

"How do you know that?" He hears the desperate tone in his own voice; his eyes are blazing and wet.

"I've gotten to know Quinn too, you know. She's our friend." Kurt lowers his voice, looking away. "We both know she's a fighter."

"But –" Finn runs his hand through his hair, frustrated. "But – I'm scared," his voice breaks, "you know? I wish I could be there for her, I wish I could be there with her –" he stops, embarrassed to find hot tears running down his face. He turns away, embarrassed.

Kurt hands him a handkerchief. "I know you have an aversion to moist towelettes, but this is okay, right?"

He laughs a little, and accepts it.

Kurt lays a hand on his shoulder in comfort, and it feels nice, a little. "You love her."

He brushes his tears away angrily with the handkerchief. "Loved her," he stresses on the past tense.

"No." Kurt's hand tightens. "Still. You still love her."

"I don't," he insists stubbornly, childishly. He turns away from Kurt, rubbing at his eyes. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, Kurt. But right now I just want to be alone."

Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Kurt nod and sigh. He rubs his tired eyes and tries to pretend he's fine when he's really not.

Kurt's hand is on his shoulder again, giving him silent comfort, silent reassurance that he's there.

"She loves you, too, you know," he says, his voice almost a whisper. "She told Mercedes and me. She knows you love Rachel now, and she knows she hurt you, that you're still mad at her. She was crying when she said it. She loves you."

Finn closes his eyes, cursing himself when a tears rolls from under his eyelids. He wants nothing more than to believe Kurt, that maybe, just maybe, what he's saying is true.

"Loved," he says quietly. "She loved me."

"No." Kurt shakes his head slowly. "Still."

Kurt leaves before he could say a word in reply.

It's dead silent in the waiting room when Puck walks out, his face a mask, his eyes red, tired, and teary. Finn gulps, nervous again. He worries about Quinn. Is she okay? Is the baby okay? Did she – God forbid – miscarry?

The whole club stands up, looking anxiously at Puck. Finn gets up too; how, he doesn't know, the way his knees are shaking and banging against each other.

"Quinn…" Puck chokes out, his voice breaking.

He can't take it anymore, this suspense. He wishes Puck would get to the damn point, even though he's scared as hell to find out what it is.

"What, Puck?" Mr. Schue asks, gripping Puck's arm in alarm. "Is Quinn okay? What about the baby?"

Puck raises his eyes, and there's a trace of a smile on his face. "She had the baby," he breathes out, "she had Beth."

The members let out a collective, relieved breath and start congratulating the proud father, who breaks into sobs into Mr. Schue's shoulder.

Finn lets out a relieved smile and tries to ignore the lump in his throat.

Quinn had Drizzle.

He walks with a certain spring in his step towards Quinn's hospital room, a huge bouquet of lilies and baby's breath for Quinn in one hand. The white fluffy teddy bear in his other hand is for Drizzle. (He knows it's probably Beth now, but Drizzle, she'll ways be Drizzle.)

He stops outside room 418 and straightens his tie, smoothes down his hair. For the hundredth time he thinks he should've gone home to change out of his regionals costume first, but then he dismisses the idea; seeing Quinn was more important. He's excited and nervous and scared, all at the same time.

He opens the door a crack, a big grin on his face, and his heart drops to the very bottom once he peeks inside.

Quinn is asleep, her blond hair scattered on the pillow, her sweet, gorgeous face looking tired but peaceful, if that even makes sense.

Puck is slumped over on the chair next to her bed, his head resting close to hers, his hand closed loosely around hers.

Finn goes inside quietly, careful not to wake the two, places his gifts on the table beside her bed, then leaves the room, a heavy ache in his heart.

He goes over to Rachel's house, desperate for a distraction – anything to get his mind off the scene at the hospital, to get his mind off Quinn.

Rachel looks at him, a concerned expression on her face, and asks if he's okay.

He takes one look at her, remembers how much he loves her, and smiles. (It's not forced this time.)

"I'll be okay," he says, then leans over to plant a kiss on her forehead.

He walks over to stand beside her, and she doesn't even notice; she's too engrossed with her little baby, sleeping in the nursery.

He speaks, finally. "She's gorgeous."

Quinn looks up at him, startled. Her face relaxes into a smile when she realizes it's him.

"I know."

"Are you going to keep her?" The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself, and notices Quinn turn red, turning back to the baby.

"No."

"Oh." He lets out the breath he doesn't know he's holding. He wants to ask, "why not?" but figures she wouldn't want to tell him.

"I can't keep her, Finn," she says, as if she read his thoughts (for a second, he wonders if he's said the words out loud). "I'm sixteen. I can't take care of a baby. Even though my mom offered to help me… I can't."

"You let Puck name her, though." Isn't there a pause button for his mouth or something?

She doesn't reply. He doesn't blame her.

He pushes his hands into his pockets, watching the baby as it opens its mouth and yawns adorably. "I would've helped you."

Quinn frowns a little; did he go too far? "What?"

"Even if she isn't…you know, mine," he clears his throat, "I would've let you stay at my house for as long as you wanted. I would've taken care of you and the baby. I would've been the father to her that I never had the chance of having."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her look down at her hands.

"Finn…"

He knows her well enough to know what she's about to say. He wants to take her hand, but he feels awkward, so he places it on her shoulder. "I know, Quinn… I've forgiven you a long time ago."

"Why?" she says, looking up at him, tears in her eyes. "After all I've done to you?"

He shrugs uncomfortably. "I can't stay mad at you, Quinn. You've always meant too much to me…"

He lets the sentence trail off.

"Where's Puck?" he offers instead.

She shrugs. "He went to take his mom home. There's only too much of her I can stand, you know."

He laughs, and she joins in.

(For a moment, things seemed simple again. Happy.)

(Only for a moment.)

"Where's she gonna go?"

"I don't know yet."

He nods. "She's gonna be okay, Quinn."

She smiles a little. "I hope so."

Silence.

"Finn?" she begins, looking embarrassed, unsure.

He knows how she feels. "Yeah?

"I really miss you."

He's taken aback for a second, then relaxes, knowing he can't lie, because the feelings are too much, the feelings have always been there. "Yeah. Yeah, I miss you, too."

She closes her eyes for a second. "Did you really love me?"

He turns away from her, contemplating how to answer, his mind flashing with images of Rachel, and then Quinn. Especially Quinn.

Finally, he decides not to answer. Because it's just too damn hard to say yes.

She lets out a deep breath like she knows what he's thinking, then leans over so her arm's brushing his, and she takes his hand.

"Do you want to hold her?"

The moment Quinn takes Beth over to him, he softens.

"She's even more gorgeous up close," he breathes, touching the baby's tiny, adorable hand with his finger. "She's perfect."

Quinn smiles. "She put me through a lot of grief," she says with a laugh, "but I'll love her forever. Even if I can't have her."

Finn nods, because it's funny, he can say the exact same words about her.

He repositions the baby gently, and he notices something that makes his eyes water.

"Quinn…"

"What?"

Wordlessly, he reaches out to touch the blanket around baby Beth. It's cleaner now, and the color's kind of faded, but it's his, it's still the same.

Quinn understands. She always understands.

"I gave it to her," she says quietly, looking away, "if you don't mind. I…wanted her to have something of yours, that's part of you. Puck is Beth's father, but you've never failed to call or ask me how I'm doing or to care for me, even after what we did…" she clears her throat. "You'll always be Drizzle's dad. If that even makes sense."

Funnily enough, it does. He looks at her questioningly.

She shrugs. "She'll always be Drizzle. Beth is adorable and sweet, but even though I hated you for even coming up with it, I've always called her Drizzle. I kept hearing your voice inside my head, and I didn't throw away the note. It just…stuck."

He smiles, not sure what to say, but there's a kind of pleasant feeling in his heart that makes losing Regionals to Vocal Adrenaline and that other weirdly named club seem like a distant memory.

"If things were…different," (you know, if I was the father…), "would you have kept her?" He looks down at Beth, finding it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't want to keep a baby this gorgeous, with the most beautiful eyes.

She stares at the baby too, careful to avoid his eyes. "Would you?"

He runs a finger across Beth's soft cheek. "Probably. Yes."

She bites her lip, looking him straight in the eyes this time. "I'm so sorry, Finn. I should've told you –"

He shakes his head and smiles. "Don't. You'll always be family to me, Quinn. You were my best friend before we even started dating and stuff… I still love you." He looks from her to Beth and back. "Always will."

Quinn smiles a little, then wraps her arms around his waist, burying her face the side of his shoulder, and Finn smiles back and presses his lips to the top of her golden head.

He'll never forget this. He'll never forget how he held Drizzle close and how for a few moments he and Quinn felt like a family again.

I love you, Quinn.

He rushes to her mom's house the minute he receives Quinn's text.

Quinn meets him at the front door, her eyes red and splotchy, her face pale. He reaches her the exact same time she falls into his arms, sobbing as if her heart would break.

"They took her away this morning," she says, crying into his chest. "She's gone."

He wraps his arms around her light frame and tries to catch his breath, tries to hold his own tears in. He has no idea what to say, so he just holds her tightly against him, kissing the top of her head.

She looks up at him, her eyes unreadable, and her hand curls around the back of his head, pulling him to her, and she kisses him. Her lips just brush lightly over his in a bittersweet gesture, but a kiss all the same.

He opens his eyes the same time she does, and they hold each other like that for a long time.

"Uh," he clears his throat, "I have to get going. Rachel –"

"Yeah," she says, stepping away from him, her feet a bit unsteady. "Puck's probably on his way over, too, so…"

"Yeah."

She smiles a little, uncertain. So does he.

"Bye, Quinn."

She nods, biting her lip. "Goodbye, Finn."

I love you.

Rachel shows him pictures of Ms. Corcoran and her newly adopted baby, Rachel's new stepsister. She's all bubbly and excited and talkative because not only does she have a new sister, but her birth mom just told her she wants to spend time with her, to reconnect with her, somehow.

He smiles at her and tells her he's happy for her, too, and he really is. He browses through the photos while Rachel blabs on and on about how she's playing Barbra Streisand songs to Beth every evening so one day the three of them could duet together on Broadway, and Finn just laughs, as usual.

He sees a photo of Beth (or Drizzle, or whatever her name is), sleeping soundly, wrapped in a faded old baby blanket with a fluffy white teddy by her side.

He smiles.

It's the last day of school. Puck stands in front of them, singing for the club, for Quinn, for a new future, a new year ahead of them.

Rachel smiles and leans her head on Finn's shoulder.

He watches as Puck looks over at Quinn with a look full of hope, full of promise. Finn just smiles and squeezes Rachel's hand.

As Puck sings, Finn looks out the window and sees the light rain outside. A drizzle.

He glances at Quinn, and the smile they share makes his heart all warm and happy. It's a different kind of warmth, kind of a feeling of hope, a feeling of promise. She understands. She always does.

Quinn has Puck now, and he has Rachel. He's happy, she's happy. Everything's forgiven, but not forgotten. Quinn will always be his first love, his first kiss. She'll always be family, no matter what happens.

Every time it drizzles, he thinks of her and the baby, and sometimes he thinks about the life they could've had together.

Maybe they could still have it, who knows?

Maybe someday.

this is un-beta'd, so forgive me for any typos/grammar mistakes :)