The Speech
An: I do not own Arrow
Summary: Tommy attempts to help Oliver write the most important speech of his life.
'It was worst of days but then it was the best of days'
"That is the shittiest speech I have ever seen," Tommy said looking over Oliver's shoulder as he scribbled away at his speech. They were in the study of the Queen Mansion while the girls disappeared to run some errands.
Oliver glared at him,
"I mean besides the awful rip off of A Tale of Two Cities, there are no jokes. You didn't even put the customary opening of 'On behalf of my wife and I'," Tommy said walking back around Oliver's large mahogany desk to sit opposite him.
"If you keep annoying me, you might be demoted to a normal groomsman," Oliver threatened.
"Never!" Tommy said, "No other guy could replace me."
"Diggle can easily do a better job than you," Oliver goaded.
Tommy looked offended, "Is that why Diggle is responsible for the Bachelor party?"
"Diggle is responsible for the bachelor party because he will ensure it won't get out of control. I don't need to wake up the next day in a foreign land with no memory of what happened the night before!"
"Oh don't flatter yourself. Your life is not a movie,"
"You're lucky, I'm even agreeing to a Bachelor party. Felicity is not having a bachelorette. She doesn't believe in it."
Tommy snorted, "Felicity doesn't believe in it because she says nothing is going to change with marriage and for you guys that might be true. You've been acting like a married couple since one month after you first started dating. You've been living together for two years so there are no surprises to pop up there."
"Would you quit distracting me? I'm trying to write my speech for the wedding."
"Trying and failing I might add." Tommy said twiddling his thumbs.
Oliver glared at him.
"You do remember the wedding is one month away right?" his brunette friend pointed out to him.
"Yes but starting from tomorrow, I officially have no free time. We leave for the business trip in Russia tomorrow and then when I get back it's the bachelor party and wedding rehearsals. I need to finish this today."
"You're such a spoilsport now that you're getting married," Tommy said folding a little piece of paper into a ball and trying to flick it into the sharpener at the other end of the desk.
"And you're not?" Oliver shot back at him.
"I'm still the fun one," Tommy defended
"Really when was the last time you went to a club?"
Tommy's mouth opened and closed like a fish,
"That's right, since you got married you haven't been to one," Oliver accused him.
"Well Laurel was busy, and then pregnant and then when Josie came, time just disappeared."
The sound of a baby crying interrupted them.
"There's the little time buster," Tommy said leaving the room for a minute.
It was a minute Oliver used to tear up the tenth iteration of his speech and start again. When Tommy returned, he had Josie with him. The little three months old was starting at Oliver with her big blue eyes.
"Josie, want to help Uncle Ollie write his speech," Tommy said to his daughter.
"I do not need help," Oliver said through gritted teeth.
"Really," Tommy said glancing down at the full waste basket at the side of Oliver's desk, "I don't think the trees agree. Anymore paper and they'll have to replant a whole forest."
"You're lucky you're holding my niece or I would hurt you," Oliver retorted.
"You know you're making a big deal out of nothing. You could just do what I did." Tommy pointed out.
"It is a big deal Tommy and I'm not getting drunk at my wedding,"
"I wasn't drunk when I made my speech,"
"Really, so Laurel wasn't propping you up?"
"No,"
"And Laurel wasn't angry with you for your entire honeymoon,"
Tommy again opened his mouth to retort but found himself coming up dry.
"I thought so. Unlike Laurel, Felicity would kill me, resurrect me and then kill me again."
"Hey my speech wasn't that bad!" Tommy defended while bouncing his daughter up and down.
"You mentioned three of Laurel's top five embarrassing moments growing up and then added that it didn't matter to you because you loved her anyway. You're lucky Felicity was seated next to her father or he might have put a bullet in you for the comment you made about borrowing her father's handcuffs. Thankfully Felicity doesn't have any unrealistic expectations about what her wedding day will be like and I want to surprise her by giving a wonderful speech about how happy I am to marry her."
"It's a pity you can't ask your PR person to write it for you."
"Maybe I should ask Donna," Oliver thought out loud.
"You would take help from your future mother-in-law and not me," Tommy said. "I bet her advice won't be any more helpful than mine,"
"Really let's put that to the test," Oliver said reaching for the phone on his desk.
He put it on speakerphone and dialled the number he knew by heart. Detective Lance answered,
"Queen what do you want?"
"Hello Detective," Tommy hollered,
"Good Lord, it's both of them. The day had been going so well up until this point," Lance commented.
Oliver cleared his throat, "Is Donna home, I was hoping to ask her advice on something."
"Queen, do you really expect her to be home when Felicity went shopping with Laurel for honeymoon stuff," Lance said acidly.
"Oh that's what they're doing. Felicity didn't tell me what she was up to. I suppose it's a surprise,"
"Well then you didn't hear it from me kid," Lance said knowing Donna, Laurel and Felicity would maim him for revealing their secret. "What did you want to ask her anyway?"
"He wanted to ask about his speech. You should read all of these horrible drafts," Tommy intervened.
"It can't be worse than what you did Merlyn," Lance said.
Oliver smirked at Tommy.
"Kid the best advice I can give you is KISS, Keep It Simple Stupid,"
Oliver frowned at first but then the perfect idea occurred to him.
"Thank you detective I think you just helped me with my writer's block."
"Don't tell anyone I helped you," and with that last sentence he put down the phone on them.
"He's always so abrupt with us," Tommy complained.
Oliver rolled his eyes at his best friend and got up from his desk.
"Josie, do you want to go for a swim with Uncle Ollie? We can splash the water just the way you like it." Oliver asked his niece.
The little girls face lit up.
"You know I think it's freaky when you speak about yourself in the third person," Tommy said following Oliver out of the study towards the guest bedroom where all of Josie's clothes were.
Oliver ignored him and they spent the rest of the time by the pool while they waited for their ladies to return.
1 month later Oliver stood in front of all of the guests. The other speakers had all gone, Tommy again making an ass out of himself. He really should have made Diggle the best man.
Oliver looked down into the twinkling blue eyes of his bride, "Felicity, I love you," he pulled her up from her chair and kissed her passionately. He expressed everything he wanted to say in the kiss. 90% of their communication had always been touches and looks. He didn't need to verbalise a long speech to her. He just needed to reinforce that he loved her and then show her.
He would later boast to Tommy that he had the best honeymoon ever.