Disclaimer - I don't own CSI.
Falling Together
A/N: I came up with this a while ago, and really liked it. Slightly different to my usual writing but I had to post this. Just a bit of fluff really, not much else to it. But I'm really happy with it. Enjoy!
"Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain. But you can't make a rainbow, without a little rain." That's a quote from someone, someone no one knows the name of. He or she remains anonymous. By that logic it's as though the quote appeared out of no where, like it was conjured up out of nothing. She never believed that kind of thing was possible. She never believed that things just came to be, that things just happened. Everything had to be created, like life itself. The entire universe didn't just appear, it was created by atoms and particles colliding together in the Big Bang. It took millions more years for earth to fully form into potentially the only planet in the whole universe to be home to living creatures. The very first life forms on earth only existed after hydrogen and oxygen in the atmosphere fused together to make water. When fish grew legs and walked on land it started a chain reaction of events, eventually leading to the evolution of us human beings. It was a strange thought, she mused, had one thing been out of place the world that we all know would never have existed, neither would more than 7 billion people alive today.
She was in one of her more reflective moods. It was a quiet night, no murders or home invasions had been reported thus far. They'd been told that they could go home if they wished to but they'd all been doing the job much too long to fall for that. They knew the moment they got home and got all comfy and warm in their beds the phone would ring and a body would have been discovered in a hotel room or in a back alley somewhere. It wasn't worth the hassle. So with the quiet brought contemplation and refection, as well as reports and evaluations to hand in. But the quiet wasn't so bad; there weren't any grieving parents to break the news to that that beloved child had been rudely, and often gruesomely, taken from them. It was fair to say she definitely preferred the quiet to the usual deafening noise.
Sara was sat around the break room, feeling lost in herself and her surroundings. Despite the fact there was no current on going case there was still plenty of people buzzing around the corridors and popping in and out of various adjoining rooms. She'd moved from seat to seat in the break room several times that evening, trying to make herself comfortable and able to relax. She found it very unnerving that there wasn't a crime scene to investigate, and couldn't quite shake the thought that something bad was on the verge of happening. She knew she was being ridiculous yet she couldn't help it. She knew she had paperwork and filing to be finishing off but she didn't have the energy nor the enthusiasm to do so. It was just one of those days.
The days often seemed never ending, often feeling more like weeks. Time would never pass by quickly, like it used to before work had taken over. Gone was a time when life was simple. And in its place was a time of mystery and suspense. They'd all experienced their fair share of drama over the years. There didn't seem to be any sign of it letting up. It was never easy working the graveyard shift, sleeping when the rest of the city was awake, revitalised and animated. They slept when the rest of the city lived, and that was hard to comprehend, even for them. She'd worked so hard, night after night, that she'd forgotten how to live. She;d promised herself that she would never overwork herself, that she knew when to stop, but here she was, contemplating her life choices. In the end she was just like everyone else; made of blood and bones. And when you consider that, you realise just how fragile we all are, just how fragile life is.
It had been a long week of hard and troubling cases that they all could have used the break. It was a chance to breathe again, to momentarily live in a world where no bad ever happened to another human being. Sometimes what they saw disgusted them, sometimes they worried what would be just around the corner. None of them could precisely pinpoint what it was fuelling the fight against crime on a pretty much daily basis. They were practically on autopilot. She knew for sure it was becoming tedious spending her life judging people, suspecting the worst of everyone she came in contact with. But she would try her best to stay positive, knowing that whatever they were faced with she and the rest of the team would do their hardest to get the right result in the end. That was all they could ask of themselves, to give everything they had. And Sara often did, commit to a case more than perhaps she should have. For a long time her job was the one consistent thing in her life. She wasn't usually one for self-pity, but that's just how things were. But she was passionate about her job, and very good at it. She supposed that she wouldn't have been working at the second best crime lab in the country had that not been the case. However, the work load had finally gotten on top of her, finally gotten under her skin.
Sara willed herself to make some fresh coffee but even that failed to make a difference. Not even her favourite song playing on the radio could lift her mood. Nor did the invitation of company. She knew she wasn't going to be much fun to be around so declined David's kind offer, when he ventured out beyond the morgue when even things down there had gone stale. She eventually decided that some fresh air would perhaps be all she needed to get back on track and finish what she'd attempted to start. The sooner she finished the sooner she could go home and have some different walls to stare at.
Wandering aimlessly through the hallway, Sara thought about her fellow colleagues. She realised she had no idea where any of them had gone to. They were all off in different directions she suspected, but all presumingly doing the same thing. It was easy to be alone sometimes, often easier than being together in a group. They all had their own problems and issues, and all had their own private ways of dealing with them.
She arrived at the reception of the crime lab and had two options; up or down? She went for up, opting to take the stairs to the roof. Sara wanted to admire the views that she so often took for granted.
When she reached the top, she took one final step onto the gravel covered roof, the wind instantly hitting her face. She wanted some space for her mind to be empty and free of all thoughts just for a little while. And this would be perfect. She'd gotten caught up in her own musings that she failed to see someone was already standing near the edge of the roof. By his silhouette, casted down by the moon, she knew almost instantly who it was.
Sure enough, she was right. But when was Sara wrong? There he was. Her partner, in every sense of the word. He was just standing there, looking as lost as she felt. But it was comforting seeing him there. Though for a short moment she considered leaving him to be by himself but soon decided that she wanted to be near him.
Nick's smile widened as she walked towards him, showing he was just as pleased to see her as she was to see him. She stood next to him, smiling back as she looked into his eyes. They knew no words needed to be spoken, that all they needed was each other; they didn't need to say it, or say anything at all, to show how they felt. His hand came to rest on her lower back, as it so often did, and she lay her head against his shoulder and they stared off into the horizon. He held her close to him, for comfort and protection. It was bliss. But that wasn't a new feeling that they shared, wasn't the only feeling they shared. He kissed the top of her head and brushed away some of her hair that had been blown into her face. Sara wished every night could have been exactly like that night, minus the chill in the air.
This was the first time they'd snuck away, so to speak, to be together, though she wondered why neither of them had never thought about it before. It was quite frankly genius. No one would come looking for them up there, and if they did she knew they could always blame the cold air for their closeness in proximity. It was perfect. But that night she hadn't sought him out like maybe she would have done if she was having a particularly bad day, just to hear his voice or see his flawless smile. She'd stumbled upon him in his own solitude and accompanied him. To be honest, she wasn't sure she was having a bad day, just a bad moment. That can happen sometimes when you think too much. Sara generally had the tendency to over-think anyway, usually at the rate of knots, so you can imagine what she was like when her thought process could slow down and evaluate itself.
Luckily for her, Nick already knew what she was like and that didn't deter him. Quite the opposite in fact. He cared a great deal about her. He admitted to worrying about her when she got involved in a case, worrying that she would get too involved, that maybe this would be the time she got sucked in too far. But whatever happened she would always manage to deal with it, and now she had him to help her. She was like a spring, always bouncing back. He admired her for that. And he told her that whenever he could. He always wore his heart on his sleeve; that was his biggest flaw by his own admission. But she loved him even more for it, for his ability to express how be truly felt. He made her feel special, cared about, cherished. Feelings that everyone should get to experience at least once in their life, she thought, feelings that could easily override thoughts. Those kind of feelings should never be taken for granted.
Perhaps it was the scientist in her that allowed her to relate so much to something so simple. Or maybe it was the scientist in her that allowed her to believe in something else other that merely science for a change. She'd read once in some glossy gossip magazine that she was flicking through whilst visiting her dentist a story about a couple and how they'd met, she remembered that it was the Valentine's Day addition. The couple had known each other for years, been dancing around their feelings, always flirting and getting along, but one day everything just clicked into place after they bumped into each other at a local coffee shop. At first Sara found it bizarre and assumed it must have been dramatised for the tabloid but she read on anyway. The woman in the relationship who was telling her story in the magazine stated that she believed it to be destiny, that it hadn't mattered that they'd known one and other for years, that they could have been complete strangers meeting in that coffee shop but they would have still ended up together because that was how their relationship was meant to start. That was how things were meant to be so you can't ever mess with fate. And they were lucky enough to have known each other really well prior to getting married and starting a family and they believed it would only make their relationship stronger in the long run. It certainly gave Sara some food for thought. She wasn't normally someone who believed in fate or destiny but in this instance she felt that the story in the magazine certainly held some truth to it, at least she saw some truth in her own relationship with Nick. She likened it to a chemical reaction; the particles have to collide in a particular way to cause the reaction. Nick and Sara had finally collided after many years of excuses, finally stumbled upon the moment everything clicked together for them. Sara couldn't stop the beaming smile that took over her face at the thought that she and Nick were potentially meant to be together, that maybe now after all her awful choices of men over the years she'd picked a good one, found 'the one'. Things felt different with Nick, felt right. Though she didn't want to tempt fate. But seemingly fate had already intervened so no further assistance would be required.
He glanced down at her and caught her staring at him. They would tell everyone about their new relationship soon, when the time was right. When they felt they could cope with the interrogation and scrutiny they would no doubt be subjected to. But for now, they had each other. And that was all they needed. Sara was sure to recommend them meeting on the roof during shift if they wanted to be alone together probably later that day, when they were sure to meet up for breakfast. It was a lovely routine they'd become accustomed to, and she wouldn't have changed it for the world.
It was those eyes. Those dark, dreamy eyes that had made her fall. Falling for him had been easy, the easiest thing she'd ever done by far. With him she could be herself, without worrying about being criticised or judged. What they had was special. He was the only one who dared to speak to her when she was in a foul mood, or dared to question her theories. They both knew he was the only one she let get away with it. He would always try and make her happy, make her feel better if she was ever down. She would always try to repay the favour, but it was never quite the same. The way he treated her was so different than how any other man had ever treated her before; she knew that you don't meet a guy like Nick every day of the week. That made their relationship mean so much more to her. Their relationship was new and fresh though, uncharted territory really, but going from strength to strength. In the past Sara had always wanted to know the answer to everything, know every possible outcome to everything she did. In truth, the exact destination of where their relationship was headed wasn't entirely clear yet; that she didn't mind not knowing.
He held her stare as if both of their lives depended on it. She looked back with such loving eyes full with so much that she knew she'd never have been able to say, eyes that could penetrate his soul. Here in front of him was Sara, independent, strong willed, no-nonsense Sara showing the world some emotion. More importantly she was showing him exactly how she felt, because he really hated guessing. She'd told him he brought out the best in her, the better person in her. He promised he would be there for her always, whether she wanted him to be or not. They were together and that would be how it would stay.
How different things could have been had she never moved to Las Vegas, never became a crime scene investigator at all. She knew deep down that it was the job that she'd always wanted to do, but had Grissom not requested her help so many years ago she would have probably never even set foot in Vegas, the place she now called home. Sara had a lot to thank him for. She had come to love this exuberating, exhilarating, and felonious city. And being with Nick only made her love for the city grow. She may only have been romantically involved with him for a short while in comparison to how long they'd been friends but she didn't know what she would have done without him. He had become her everything.
At first, as with any new relationship she supposed, it was terrifying being together, admitting that something more than friendly feelings had developed between them. They had potentially everything to lose, but for whatever reason they hadn't given that a second thought as they'd begun seeing each other. Everything worked out in the end. It turned out that they were meant to be. They just fit together perfectly, as though it was fate. Since being together, everything seemed easier, everything seemed conquerable. In him she'd found her other half, her better half. She wondered why she'd never seen it before, seen what was right in front of her years ago.
"Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead." A quote by Yvonne Woon. Now this she did believe. It was something Grissom had said to her once, sometime ago. Though it rung true and always would. You could relate it to almost anything and anyone. She could relate it to herself more than she wished to.
She wasn't sure reflecting was the best thing she should have been doing with her time that day, not any day if she were being honest. And definitely not when you did the job she did. When you reflect on your past you think of all the things you've done wrong, all the things you could've done differently, and all the things you wish you'd never done. And when you do what she does for a living it is only magnified. Not only did she have her own worries and regrets on her shoulders but she had those of the victims that passed through the crime labs' ever open door.
It was a tiring battle of cunning and wit, of good against evil. Despite the hardship she loved it. She loved the adrenaline pumping through her veins, the rush she would get when she knew she'd nailed a suspect, the thrill of living life on the edge. It was like living in a strange kind of action movie or television series. Sometimes it would seem as though they were watching themselves in a bizarre outer body experience. But at the end of the day, when it was time to clock out they knew in their heart of hearts that it had been all worth it, all the terrifying near misses were all worth it. She assumed it was that that had finally made the both of them dip their toes in and test the water. Since they'd been together she'd started to question the things she did, the job she did. Things weren't always going to be straight forward, often they weren't, but she'd come to realise that perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing. They knew all too well that you had to take everyday as it comes, live everyday as though it was your last. It was better to have loved and lost, than not loved at all.
A shrill alarm sounded, piercing the silence. It became clear very quickly that it was Sara's pager, announcing that her attention was needed. She shut her eyes in disbelief. Nick kissed her head again, taking her hand as she reluctantly checked her pager. A body had been found, just the news they didn't want to hear. Sara looked up at Nick, giving him one of her trademark looks, showing she wasn't at all impressed. The sun was beginning to rise somewhere in the distance, so they would no doubt be working well into the daylight hours. She knew that they would be forced to go back to pretending they weren't a couple, and begin investigating yet another murder. Would it ever end? He offered her a weak smile as his own pager went off but he didn't have to check it. He threaded his fingers through hers and leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. She craved the feel of his lips on hers, his warm breath on her skin the moment they parted; it was over so quickly it seemed like it had never happened. He then squeezed her hand before guiding her back towards the door that lead down to the crime lab, holding her hand till the very last second.
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe.
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