Hey guys! I TOLD you I had something big coming! And here it is! Well, the beginning of it, at least!

Enjoy and review!

I don't own South Park, although that WOULD be pretty awesome...

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The first person I told was my older sister Abby…

I'd had a nightmare in which Cartman was leading an anti-gay, anti-Semitic cult that had sentenced me to death. I was stripped naked and bound to a chair, awaiting my execution while all of the cult members shouted and spat at me. Cartman was standing behind me with a freshly sharpened sword and was two seconds away from finishing the job when he stopped and stepped in front of me, smiling evilly and making a sweeping gesture to my right. I turned and saw Stan, also stripped to the nude and confined to a chair. Horrified, I watched him kick and struggle in an attempt to free himself. He looked up at me with an expression of terror and helplessness. My eyes grew blurry with tears and my throat began to throb from the sobs I was holding back.

Cartman giggled sadistically. "Well, Kyle," he said mockingly, "if you have to go, at least you're gonna go together." He walked over to Stan and raised the sword above his head. My eyes widened. I shrieked and kicked my legs, begging Cartman not to do it, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. About half of a second before the blade hit the top of Stan, the love of my life...I woke up screaming.

Abby burst into my room not even a minute later. "Ky!" she exclaimed as she clambered onto the bed and wrapped her arms around me. "What happened? What's wrong?"

A million thoughts raced through my head as I looked up at her. What happened? I'd had a hellish nightmare, that's what happened! But what was wrong? Jesus, what wasn't wrong?

After questioning and wrestling with my sexuality for four years, I was thirteen years old and I had come to the staggering conclusion that I was gay. Not only that, but I had a crush on Stan, my best friend of nearly a decade. Not only that, but I was closeted, for Heaven's sake! Not only that, but I felt TRAPPED in the closet, with no way out! Not only that, but I felt ASHAMED about the whole damn thing!

I couldn't speak. All these thoughts were just too overwhelming. There was nothing I could do but cry. And I did. Right into Abby's shoulder as she pulled me close. I just sobbed incessantly. She cradled me and stroked my thick red hair.

"Ky, shhhhhhh…" Abby soothed in her sweet big-sister voice. "Tell me what's wrong." I've never told her this, but I like when she uses that voice. It makes me happy and calms me down when I really need it. It's like an auditory sedative. But I guess I don't need to tell her. She probably knows since I become visibly more relaxed whenever she uses it.

However, this time was different. Even with Abby's big-sister voice in my ear, I was hysterical, shaking all over, and sick to my stomach. I knew I needed to come clean (and out) to my sister. But I just couldn't. I was too scared.

"I can't tell," I sobbed. "I'm scared." It shamed me to say it.

"Ky, you can tell me," Abby replied. "You don't have to be scared. I'm here for you."

But I just continued to cry. I couldn't say it. I just couldn't bring myself to say "Abby, I'm gay." I just couldn't. It was too hard. I was afraid. Sure, Abby's my big sister and I should be able to trust her with anything. But I'd heard so many stories about gay kids coming out to their families, only to be excluded from them. What if…?

But I was about to find out that keeping it inside was going to hurt a lot more. The nauseous feeling in my stomach spread to my head. I felt dizzy, and my stomach churned with discomfort. Without meaning to, I retched. Nothing came out, but Abby and I knew that sound. I retched again. Both of our eyes widened.

Abby clamped her hand over my mouth and hurried me out of bed and into the bathroom. Luckily, the toilet seat was up, and I made it with a half-second to spare.

After I was finished, I sank onto the bathroom floor, pressing my face against the cold linoleum. I was sweaty and exhausted. I ached all over. I could have fallen back asleep right there on the floor.

Abby flushed the toilet for me, picked me up, and settled down with her back against the wall. After wiping my mouth with a tissue, she cradled me again and asked softly, "Now will you tell me what's wrong?"

I was silent, except for my heavy breathing. I couldn't say anything. I was so tired. Throwing up can really take a lot out of a guy. My eyelids grew heavy and I laid my head on Abby's shoulder. I could feel myself slipping, falling back into sleep…I could faintly hear her trying to wake me up, but I just couldn't stay awake…maybe if I just rested my eyes for a minute, the dizziness in my head would go away…

The following moments were a dizzy blur. I remember being placed into my bed, on top of the covers, and I remember hearing a door in the hallway opening and then running water. Then I remember a damp and cool washcloth being gently pressed into my forehead. It felt amazing. I instantly relaxed and exhaled deeply. It had also woke me up a little more. I blinked a few times to make sure I was awake. There was moonlight streaming through my window and I could see Abby's concerned face above me. She took the washcloth off of my forehead and I sat up and looked at her.

Well, it was now or never.

"Abby…" I began. "I…I need to tell you something…"

Abby's face softened. I was finally going to tell her what was wrong. I just hoped that her face would stay that way…

I took a deep breath and swallowed an uncomfortable lump forming in my throat. "Abby…" I started again. "What I'm about to tell you…may shock you…in fact, I'm almost too scared to tell you…because then maybe…you wouldn't…you know…love me anymore…"

Abby took my hands in hers. "Kyle," she said, "How long have I been your sister?"

I managed a half-grin. "Well, pretty much forever," I replied.

She smiled. "Believe me, there is absolutely nothing you could tell me that would make me love you any less than I always have." She gently squeezed my hands reassuringly. "Now what is it?"

My confidence slightly regained, I took another deep breath. "Abby…" I once again began. "I…I…I'm gay."

Silence. Nothing but silence for a moment. I broke it by burying my face into my hands and bursting into tears. I couldn't help it. I'd kept it in for too long and now I was reaping the consequences. I was so overwhelmed.

The next thing I knew, Abby was once again cradling me in her arms. I sobbed hysterically into her shirt. I couldn't stop.

"Kyle…" Abby whispered. "I'm so proud of you."

I took my face out of her shirt and looked up at her. "Y-you are?" I stuttered.

Abby smiled the warm smile only she could possess. "I am," she replied. "You're my little brother. I've loved you and I've been proud of you since the day you were born. It's my job as your big sister to protect you and support you no matter what."

I managed a wobbly smile through my tears. She hugged me.

The first person I told was my older sister Abby…

…And I couldn't have been happier.

...

So Kyle is finally out!

Or is he?

This story doesn't end here...Stay tuned! There's much more to come! :)