Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.

Warning: Contains slash. James/Carlos. Logan/Carlos. (Italics = Flashback)

Double Dealing

He talked to him about stuff. Random stuff about a shower. Or was it a bath? Then he mentioned something about shampoo and special and—perfume?

"What?" Carlos snapped out of his heavy trance.

James ceased chattering, and looked down at the smaller boy with a surprised look, then a deadpan one. "Were you listening to me, Carlos? Did you hear– Did you even hear anything I said to you?"

"Uh…" Carlos slowly shook his head, gaining a vigorous speed by the second. He grinned sheepishly and timidly asked, "Did you say perfume?"

James facepalmed and sighed. "Next time, don't use my stuff, okay?" he said, annoyed.

Carlos nodded, not looking at James straight in the eye. "Got it. Um…can you get out now?" The brunette scowled. "I need to dress," added Carlos, a blush painting his damp cheeks as he gave a small, toothy grin and chuckled.

James complied with his request, and stepped out of their bathroom, catching at the last minute a sliver of Carlos' caramel ass as he dropped the soft, yellow towel to the floor before he fully closed the door. As soon as James stepped into their room, his face turned red, unable to remove the image of Carlos' backside from his memory. He desperately shook his head until the mental image became a blur, colours smudged all over. He took in a deep breath and the warm, light tan colour returned to his cheeks as he plummeted down on his bed and groaned loudly.

"What just happened…?" he murmured. "I saw Carlos naked. Big deal… Right?" James put his hands to his face, shaking his head. "No, no, what the heck, man? Just forget about it." He sat up, sighed, and exited the room, feeling a bit stuffy from the previous incident.

Minutes later, as Carlos came out of the bathroom, dressed in casual clothes, he noticed the room was empty. James' odd rants in the room had sounded muffled to him, but he decided to leave those matters alone. He let out a loud, dreamy sigh, a hot wave washing over him as he fell to the cushy floor, the loose threads tickling his tummy through his thin T-shirt. His body trembled in subtle want, remembering when James had talked to him just a while ago in the bathroom.

He had been wearing nothing but a towel, wrapped around his waist. Carlos knew that he himself had looked extremely vulnerable at the time, but he also knew James would've never done nothing to him, would've never thought the same thing Carlos had been thinking at the moment. Carlos whined low in his throat, frowning and blushing slightly. He stood up on his feet, and opened the front door of his room, peeking outside. He noticed Logan was sitting on the couch, talking to Mrs. Knight. Kendall and James were nowhere to be seen.

"Logan!" Carlos barked, his voice strangely high-pitched.

Logan turned his head and saw the small boy, an unreadable expression on Carlos' face. He mumbled something quick to Mrs. Knight, smiled at her, then walked towards his friend.

Before Carlos could close the door completely, Mrs. Knight abruptly turned around. "Is something wrong, Carlos?" she asked.

"Nope." He shook his head and grinned.

Mrs. Knight raised an eyebrow, putting on a skeptical face. "Okay… Don't hesitate to tell me anything, alright?"

Carlos nodded. "Okay."

As Mrs. Knight smiled and turned back around, Carlos shut the door rapidly, causing a thunderous sound, which made Logan jump. The raven slammed his body against the door, breathing heavily, eyes wide.

Logan pursed his lips. "Something wrong?"

Carlos immediately composed himself and sprinted to his bed, sitting down with a thick-sounding plop. Logan gave him a weird look before Carlos waved to him to come over, and decided to cautiously sit down.

"Well… I like someone!" the raven blurted out.

Logan's mouth opened slightly, then closed. "Why–"

"And I don't know if this person might like me back!" screamed Carlos childishly. "And–"

"Wait, wait, wait—Carlos, wait," said Logan. "Okay, first of all, stop screaming; I'm getting a headache. Second, explain."

Carlos nodded weakly. He chewed on his bottom lip for a while, trying to find the right words to say. "I like this person. But I don't think this person might like me…"

"And who exactly is this 'person'?"

Carlos blushed. "I…I can't say…"

"Why not?" insisted Logan.

"Because you might hate me," Carlos mumbled in a dry voice.

Logan went silent. He put a hand on the small boy's shoulder and spoke in a soft, soothing voice, "I won't."

"I just want you to help me. How can I make that person like me?" asked Carlos helplessly.

"I can't help you if I don't know their interests. Tell me who it is."

Carlos scowled, blushing heavier. "No."

"I swear I won't tell anyone," reassured Logan, desiring to know Carlos' sudden secret crush. The raven muttered something incoherent. "What did you say?"

"Brown."

"Brown?"

"The person I like has brown hair," explained Carlos.

"Okay… What else?"

"Tall."

"Tall…" repeated Logan. For a second there, he thought Carlos liked Camille, and he suddenly felt a flash of jealousy, then recalled they weren't 'officially' together anymore. Just friends—that was it. Carlos couldn't possibly fall for her. "And?"

"Hm…" Carlos was tapping his fingers against his knees, coming up with other words, snatching them out from the narrow thesaurus he had in his mind. He then spoke, not really aware now of what he was saying, "Cute, handsome or hot, funny, an awesome singer–"

"Did you say handsome?" interrupted Logan.

Carlos' eyes slowly grew wide as he realized what he just said. "I-I mean–"

"You said handsome," said Logan absent-mindedly.

The thought processed roughly in his mind. Carlos had said handsome. He heard it clearly. Then that meant–

"Do you hate me now?" Carlos' voice had some type of ache in it, and Logan finally noticed that tears were streaming down his dark cheeks.

Logan remained quiet, carefully going over the few descriptions Carlos had given him in his mind. Brown hair—he had decent brown hair. Tall in height—he was fairly tall, scarcely taller than Carlos. Cute—he was known to be cute, and he was pretty…hot. He was also funny, a mediocre comical guy at best since his knowledge overpowered him. Awesome singer. Logan gulped. That was the key answer, the last piece of the puzzle, and it fit perfectly. It just had to be someone in the band, and Carlos had described Logan quite well, if not, almost perfect. Other options of other people were ignored as he laid a hand on Carlos' face, wiping the wet tears away with his thumb.

"Carlos, I–" He chose his words carefully, not wanting to hurt the other boy. Carlos was looking at him, fear and something else in his eyes. He'd never seen him so upset. Usually he was cheery, happy, wild and careless; now he looked as if he had been kicked in the gut. The expression he held made something flare within Logan. He didn't want Carlos to be like this. "I like you, too."

He took the raven's face in his hands, inched in and gave him a gentle yet awkward kiss. After what seemed enough time, he withdrew, smiling shyly. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Carlos' face had taken another form. He now looked another type of depressed, a deeper level of sadness.

"That was my first kiss," he said morosely.

Logan's smile faded a bit, but he kept it on as he leaned in and pecked Carlos' warm cheek. "I'm glad to have been. Don't cry anymore. I don't hate you for liking me. In fact, I might like you, too." It sounded crazy, but maybe, just maybe it was true in this spontaneous moment. Camille had just been a friend, his ex-girlfriend. Carlos was one of his best friends. He gave him another soft kiss on the lips. "Maybe we can have our first date today?" He was eager now. It was strange, but it felt nice. Carlos had always had that charming side that made him feel special and fun. "You wanna go see a movie? You don't have to worry about anything else; you'll be with me."

Carlos stayed quiet, the expression on his face full of shock, heart aching terribly.

Logan didn't want to hurt him, but he was unaware that he had actually made the situation worse.

"Speechless, huh? I'll take that as a yes…"

Carlos felt Logan's arms wrap around him, hugging him in a way a friend could not have had.

Everything had happened so fast it didn't seem like reality anymore; it was a weird, twisted version of the raven's fantasies.

ooo

The inside of the theater was taciturn, dark and ominous—only a few whispers and baby cries could be heard if a person strained their hearing enough. At least, that's what Carlos envisioned in his eyes. Logan was holding his hand as if they had been doing it forever, giving him occasional gentle squeezes.

The brunette had told Mrs. Knight they were going to see a movie. He mentioned nothing about a date.

The movie was barely starting. Logan sat down, but Carlos refused to.

"I need to go to the restroom. Have to go pee." He put on a fake smile.

"Okay, hurry back," Logan's voice was silky and sweet, and it made Carlos sick.

He turned around and briskly walked out, tears forming in his eyes. By the time he reached the restroom door, he was crying sporadic waterfalls, tears splashing on his flushed face. His body was exhausted, his heart was unrealistically torn like thin paper. His feelings were recklessly mingling in his brain, and it was the first time he'd felt like this. He was inexperienced and a lonely stranger to this kind of sadness. Carlos was about to push open the door when it opened by itself, and he bumped into someone.

"Ah, so–"

"Carlos?"

As Carlos regained his vision, he looked up, scowled, then gasped. Kendall was looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, lips pursed in a straight line. Carlos was about to make a run for it, but Kendall caught his shoulder in time, and pulled him into the restroom. The movement was so quick that Carlos didn't have time to catch his breath.

"Hey, why are you crying?" Kendall's voice was grave.

"I-I'm not crying. S-something just got stuck in my eye…"

"Carlos, you're not good at lying. Tell me what's going on."

"No." He didn't want to create another mess.

It was enough that now he was automatically dating Logan without any real consent. But he couldn't have refused. Logan was too nice to deserve any of his pain.

Kendall sighed. "Okay, can't force it out of you, but I'll find out."

Kendall was about to exit. "Wait," called Carlos. The blonde turned around. "What're you doing here?"

"Brought Katie to see a movie."

"H-have you seen James…?"

"Nope."

"Oh…"

"Why? You're here with him? Lost?"

Carlos shook his head. "I'm here with Logan…"

Kendall smiled his charming, lopsided smile. "Cool."

The date had been just like a regular night out with one of the boys and it made Carlos feel better. Maybe Logan had been joking, and they weren't really automatically together. He probably knew who Carlos liked already, and he was just doing this to get the raven to spill out his emotional thoughts without forcing it out of him. After all, why the heck would a smart, witty boy like someone as uncoordinated and doofy like Carlos? Never. Never in a million years.

He was proven wrong.

As they were strolling down the empty twilight streets—having said goodbye to Kendall and Katie before leaving the theater—Carlos shivered just a bit. Logan detected this motion like an expensive motion detector, and immediately wrapped an arm around Carlos' shoulders as they kept walking. The raven's shoulders went tense at the sudden contact.

"Logan…"

"Sorry. I'm being too fast, aren't I? I guess I'm being kind of impulsive…"

Carlos choked on his unsaid words. "No…" He at least needed to ameliorate the mess. "I like impulsive," he added, almost inaudibly.

Logan smiled warmly at that, and pressed his lips firmly against Carlos'.

ooo

"Night, baby."

"Night, Logan," said Carlos, smiling as he pecked his boyfriend on the cheek.

They went their separate ways, entering their hotel rooms, Carlos sharing one with James and Logan sharing one with Kendall.

Even after a year—and a month after telling everyone about their hidden, supposed relationship—Gustavo's reactions to their subtle, romantic affection made him upset, malicious and ferocious. That is, until he realized that that wasn't helping and decided to accept the damn situation. He wasn't a stranger to love, he'd had past girlfriends in his teenager years, but this was too much for him. His ridiculous rants weren't helping anybody; they were all tired, they didn't care what he thought, which was a sign that he had to work on the band's discipline. Instead, he decided on a seven day trip to Paris while summer vacation was still available. He told each and every one of them. They were all fidgeting then celebrating like a pack of wild wolfs when they received the dazzling news.

Logan and Carlos shared a passionate kiss.

Kendall mocked them playfully, but James did nothing. He stared with dead eyes until they pulled away from each other, and then he forced a guilty smile when the raven looked at him.

"This is going to be awesome!" exclaimed Carlos.

"You know… Paris is known to be the City of Romantics," said Logan, smirking.

Carlos blushed.

He stepped inside the room, dragging his feet across the floor. He was careful not to wake James as he settled himself on the bed and under the fuzzy sheets, seeming as they were sharing the same bed. Gustavo, or rather, Griffin, had been too cheap to get them better hotel rooms—with two beds. At least they were lush.

Carlos could still feel the warmness of Logan's lips on his. He struggled to tell if he enjoyed that feeling or not. It was still unnatural, as if he was a confused spy in another country. He could faintly hear James' steady breathing on the other side of the bed.

"James…" said Carlos, loud enough to wake the sleeping boy.

The brunette stirred for a second, faced Carlos and his eyelids fluttered open. He scowled as he blinked and sat up, stretching and groaning. "What time is it…?"

"Around ten," answered Carlos.

"Hm… Wanna watch TV?"

Carlos hesitated, then mumbled an 'okay'. James grabbed the controller from the side table, and turned on the small television. The black screen lit up with mellow colours and voices like milky chocolate. A romance movie was playing. Carlos instinctively scooted closer to the brunette, feeling his warmth. It felt pleasant; the position had that type of legitimate loophole to it, and he was savouring every bit of it. James slowly turned his head to the side. Their eyes locked, gazes mystified. Carlos' cheeks were turning a light pink.

"So…how's it goin' with you and Logan?"

Carlos' mouth opened, but nothing came out. His blank expression soon was erased, replaced by distress. "James…" He was so close. He'd always needed him—more than Logan. More than anyone. "James." His logical thinking was nothing but a buzz in his mind; his words were an endless, colourful string. Carlos, in a flash, moved and straddled James' waist through the soft sheets. James looked up at him, befuddled. "James, I've always liked you. I made the mistake of going out with Logan, and I should've said no when he thought I liked him. I like you, James," sobbed Carlos. "I'm so sorry. Logan will probably hate me, but I've waited long enough. Three damn years is enough!"

Shocked, speechless, James could only put a hand on Carlos' shoulder and gently push him off of him. Carlos' face was stained with thick, salty tears.

"Carlos…" James sighed, the sound hollow. "Um…" The raven watched him, eyes and lips trembling. "I-I'm sorry. I just can't…" He could see he was breaking Carlos' fragile heart. "I don't like you like that. I can't."

Carlos ceased shaking. The fear left his face and he started to chuckle weakly, which made James raise an eyebrow. Then he laughed—a cold laugh that had no hint of a sunny emotion. "Y-you fell for it. I was just kidding. H-how could you think I…I don't…" Carlos looked away, and whispered, "I like Logan…" His breathing had turned erratic. "I-I was just kidding… Ha… You really fell for it…"

James barely noticed a clear tear that rolled down the side of Carlos' chin, landing languidly on his taut neck.

ooo

The party had ended hours ago—Carlos' eighteenth birthday party. Mrs. Knight had been absent since the boys begged her for no parent supervision. Katie had gone to her room, sick of the noise and the people after barely an hour.

Now everyone was in their rooms, sleeping soundly. Well, not everyone.

James had a throbbing headache as he lay on his bed, and listened to the voices and sounds on the other side of the wall. They were muffled, but he could mildly understand what was being said.

"Do you like that?"

"Yes…" Carlos' voice was full of lust as he responded to Logan.

James' jaw went tight. For a millisecond, he greatly lamented ever turning down Carlos. A lump caught in his throat, resentment tainting his thoughts, then it quickly dissolved, along with the spontaneous heart-wrenching feeling.

The door opened and Kendall came in, smiling. "Hey, can I sleep here today? I don't think those two will finish until tomorrow morning…" he said, laughing.

James nodded, not bothering to look at the blonde.

As Kendall comforted himself on Carlos' bed, he noticed James was frowning. "James?"

"Huh?" The brunette looked up, eyes big.

"Is something wrong? You look…mad."

James was quiet for a minute, face impassive. Kendall waited. "Yeah, totally fine," he lied.

He wondered if Carlos still liked him.

A/N: Was it weird? The idea just came to me when I woke up at two in the morning for no reason, lol.