Title: The Drawer
Characters/Pairings: canon couple (unfortunately and not for long)
Genre: Humor
Warnings: CRACK FIC! Should not be taken seriously. High probability of OOC.
Episode: 6x02 I suppose.
Rating: T
Chapters: 1/1
Status: complete
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones nor the characters. Just playing with them
Summary: Hannah came to DC and Booth invited her to live with him. Now he needs to make a room for her in his drawer. The problem: there are other woman's clothes already there and Hannah is not impressed. One quick way to get rid of Baghdad Barbie! Crack fic!
AN So I was in a silly mood. This is the result. Humor is not exactly my strength. So be warned.
And enjoy! :)
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The Drawer
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"Seeley?"
"Yeah, Hannah?" He turned toward her and blinked. She was holding a pair of lacy white panties in her hand. But she was not holding them in an alluring way, more like if they were the foulest thing in the world. He frowned. "Something's wrong?"
"What are those doing in your chest of drawers?" she asked with an eyebrow raised.
"What?" he asked stupefied, looking at the garment in her hand. He did not have woman's underwear in his wardrobe! He was not one of those-those- then he noticed his furniture behind her. Ah, he exhaled with a smile. She opened that drawer. "They lay there." He said with a shrug.
But Hannah was not impressed. "Lacy panties?"
"They are Bones's." He told her not sure what Hannah's problem was. This was Brennan's drawer of emergency clothing.
"Bones's? As in your partner's?" Hannah asked in a strangled voice.
"Yes." He nodded.
Her eyes widened, as an ugly flush covered her face. Booth blinked at the sight. He has never seen her look like that. She reminded him of a parrot he had seen once.
He didn't like parrots.
"You have a drawer full of your partner's clothes?" He winced. Wow, she even screeched.
"Yeah, they are her emergency clothes." He told her, getting a little bit puzzled over her scathing tone.
"Emergency?" she screeched louder this time, and Booth winced again. It was not a nice sound. Not nice at all. "You've got there," Here, she waved the white panties toward the (in)famous drawer, flushing uglier more and more. "three tank tops, two sweaters, a cardigan, a pair of jeans, a skirt, five pairs of underwear, two bras, a pantyhose, a set of pajamas and a little black dress." She finished, crossing her arms over her chest as she tapped her foot.
Ah, the little black dress. Roxy's little black dress… Ah, the memories…
But Hannah's foot was still tapping.
Booth frowned at her. "I have some of my clothes at Bones's too, we may need them during or after a case, it's easier that way." He explained. They had them at each other's places for years.
"You have a drawer full of other woman's clothes." Hannah screeched. "In your bedroom."
"Well, I couldn't keep Bones's bras in Parker's room." He told her, getting a little annoyed now. What was her problem? He and Bones were partners. There was nothing wrong in being prepared, the Army has taught him that many years before. And those sets of clothes saved them a lot of time during some of the cases over the years.
Hannah exhaled. "Alright then." She exhaled again. "But you should move them from that drawer now." She told him fiercely.
"Why?" he asked, puzzled.
"So I can put my clothes there." She told him through gritted teeth.
"But it's Bones's drawer." He told her.
"And I am you girlfriend!" she screeched. Again. He'll get deaf with all this screeching going around here. Maybe he should have brought a real parrot instead of Hannah…
"Alright then, hm, I'll move the socks for you." He said pointing to the lowest drawer.
Hannah looked at the chest then at him and threw the panties on his bed with disgust. "I can't believe I left Afghanistan for this!" she huffed, picking up her suitcase. She turned with her head raised proudly, her blond locks swirling around her.
"Where are you going?" Booth called after her, surprised.
"Back to Afghanistan, of course." She told him tersely.
"Why?" he asked.
She shot him a glare. "It's clear who the woman in here is. She even has her drawer full of clothes in your bedroom." She huffed once more. And with that she was gone from his apartment and his life.
Booth looked at his chest of drawers. Ah, well. At least he won't have to move his stripped socks collection to make room for her.
His stomach growled and he realized he didn't have dinner yet. Then his face brightened. There was nothing stopping him from sharing a Thai take-out with Bones now!
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End
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AN Silly crack fic written in about half an hour. Hopefully it made you smile. :) If you leave a review, you'll make me smile ;)