Thwarting Love
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Twilight" series characters – they are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. Some of the words used have been borrowed from Ms. Meyer from "New Moon".
This is a one-shot fromEdward's point of view.
I'm looking forward to what you think. Enjoy!
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Be safe. Be safe. Be safe.
If I had a heart enclosed in my vacant, frozen chest it would be throbbing these two words right now. I am the reason why she can never be safe. I am the only thing standing in the way of her warmth; her gift to radiate light to others in a customary existence. With my numbing corpse I absorb any light and warmth she has to offer. Jesus, I am capable of sucking her dry in more ways than one.
I am staring at her. It feels inappropriate. I will abuse her further if I remain any longer. This must end. I need to get out of here.
She looks broken. Don't. Don't touch her.
I want to reach out and hold her small form to mine. Sooth her fears with my voice; her lullaby. Be the last thing she sees before sleep; kiss her eyelids while she dreams.
I'm not breathing. A tear slipped down her cheek. I can feel her floral scent grow stronger. Just inhale once more – one last time.
No. Don't flinch. She'd catch that.
So perceptive.
Why can't she see through this?
That scares me. Say your last now – rip the band-aid off:
"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again". But you darling, you will stay in my thoughts for eternity.
That flash of realization hit my angel's eyes,
"Alice isn't coming back". She'd barely breathed the words, but I heard. I shook my head, no. Alice loves you too, my Bella. She put up quite a fight last night when she'd finally seen my decision. It had taken Emmett to hold her back while Jasper was trying his best to send her into a coma. I had drifted into a trance days earlier. My family left last night; no words were spoken, they were shunning me with every thought – and that was worse.
"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." Memorize her face. This is the last time you'll see her unworldly beauty.
"Alice is gone?" God, she sounded like a lost child. I can feel my stone stature starting to crumble. End this quick.
"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." Break her heart you monster. I'm disgusting.
Bella's breathing is slowing. She's trembling. Please, do not pass out on me. If I have to catch you, nothing will pry my hands away from your skin. Breathe. Please.
This is it. The end.
"Goodbye, Bella". Horrible words. I need to gather my thoughts before I can expect to run anywhere. I inaudibly let out the breath I'd been holding since she first allowed tears to slip freely down her flushed cheeks. Close your eyes. Leave now.
"Wait!"
I hear Bella choke out a last plea to me. I open my eyes. I see her arms out stretched, reaching for me.
I can't do this.
Help.
I wrap my hands around her wrists; put her arms to her sides. Her eyes looked hopeful for a split second. Then she closed them, realizing I was not returning her embrace.
I'm so close to her. I could just….No. Stop.
Hesitating, I press my lips to her forehead; feeling her warmth once more. I just want her to be safe.
"Take care of yourself." I breathe the words onto her skin, willing her to obey.
Her scent is intoxicating, her heat comforting, I feel her heartbeat against my lips…1…2…3…. I love you, I love you, I love you…
NOW.
In a flash I was running.
Away, anywhere; before I scream for mercy.
STOP.
As fast as I had left, I stop. Am I doing this? Am I really doing this?
I just have to make sure it's real. That this happened.
I cannot just run away from it. Being the masochist I am, I want to sneak back and see where she goes from here; how much I destroyed her. I want evidence.
I follow my trail back…but I hear footsteps approaching.
Then her scent hit me.
She's following me?
I slowly back up, making sure she doesn't get near. I'm not strong enough to say goodbye twice.
Then she came into my view.
Her eyes are wide, terrified, abandoned, determined. She wants evidence too.
She's not paying attention to where she's going. She'll get lost.
She tripped.
Pieces are breaking off of me every time she stumbles and I'm not there to keep her up. I can feel my entire body tense, my jaw is dropped; I am simultaneously witnessing and feeling destruction. No matter where I go when I cease to be, this is worse than any hell.
Finally, Bella trips again, and this time stays down. I hear my jaw snap shut. Is she alright? She rolls over onto her side and curls up. I know I cannot hear her thoughts, but I am desperately trying anyway. I feel my knees sink to the ground as I lay down on the wet forest floor too, keeping both eyes on her shivering form.
Her body and the world it seemed stayed still and lifeless for quite sometime before I heard her name being called.
I had been worried that no one would come for her.
Why? I was not the only one to care for her. I made sure I could hear the thoughts of whomever it was that was looking for her.
Where on earth is she? It's starting to rain.
Sam? Do you smell that?
Wait! I think she's over there.
As soon as I established that there were three voices nearby, the smell pushed me back. Werewolves.
Vampire.
I sprang into a crouch, ready. I know that one of them picked up on my scent somewhere. I need to leave. I just want to make sure Bella is safe. I will not leave her alone.
The smell was getting stronger, they are coming nearer. I can hear more than three pairs of legs stomping the forest floor; they are in their wolf forms.
I see something.
I stopped breathing. My eyes are on Bella. Where is this dog? I hear a faint whoosh, then I see a dim glow illuminating the rain drops, slowly lighting the path to where I am crouched.
I silently drop behind a tree.
Here she is.
I look around the tree trunk to see a tall muscular man, shirtless looking down at my Bella.
"Bella." He is trying to call her to consciousness. He's a werewolf. What if he loses control and hurts her? I step around the tree, ready to run forward at the slightest quiver of his form.
"He's gone". My angel's voice softly floats through the rain to my ears. My stance crumbles. I remember what I did, why I'm standing here, not there, I turn away from my everything………….
………..and I run.