I need to write for RF more. lol. This is an angsty oneshot related to Orland and Aria. This is in Orland's POV. Enjoy.
Too Late
I remember having a great dislike for her when we first met. She was always so optimistic and cheerful, I was always so solemn and studious. She was my polar opposite - it was no surprise I didn't like her.
And I wouldn't call us childhood friends... or even friends for that matter - we were more like aquaintances, really.
The old me wouldn't have cared if were just aquaintances, he wouldn't have cared if we barely knew each other. He would've welcomed the idea above all else.
But that was the old me. Over the years, my opinions and attitudes towards certain things changed.
And she was one of them.
When I was younger, I would constantly ignore her attempts to befriend me. I would push her away when she tried to get close to me, to help me...
To be there for me.
Only now have I realized the error of my ways - how foolish I was back then. I never saw how much she tried or realized how much she cared. I just thought of her as a nuisance, a person who I was better off without... oh, how wrong I was.
Now I feel that am not better off without her - quite the opposite. I need her. I really, really need her. She was the only other person who actually cared about me, she wanted to listen to my problems, she wanted to cure whatever was ailing me...
That girl was the light in my darkness.
I always saw her as a tomboyish girl. Obnoxious, loud, unfeminine... but that was wrong. When I took the time to take a closer look, I saw none of that in her. What I saw deep down was a charming girl with a caring heart, reaching out to anyone in need.
Why didn't I see it before?
...I was stubborn, that's why. Even when I started to develop these feelings for her, I denied them. I thought it was impossible for a person like me to fall for a person like her. I refused to believe that I liked the girl who I saw as obnoxious.
But the fact of the matter was that I did, and there was nothing I could do to make that feeling go away.
Her kindness is what charmed me. At first I saw her attempts at friendship as nothing but annoying, but as time went on I began to welcome them - if only ever so slightly.
The more my feelings for her grew, the more people began to notice. The villagers saw the way I would look at her, the saw the scowl on my face soften when I saw her - little things like that. But apparently, that wasn't enough.
Everybody knew how I felt about her. Everybody... except for her.
I loved her for her kind compassion, but was also annoyed by her naivete and obliviousness. Why couldn't she see how I felt about her? If everybody else knew, why couldn't she?
Those thoughts plagued me everyday of my adolescent life. The villagers knew it too. I think they were waiting for me to confess to her, actually. The girls of the village would give me knowing smiles as I past by while the men would give me encouraging looks.
All of that didn't matter, though. The truth was that I was scared. I was scared of pouring my heart out to her and having her reject me, I was also scared of trying to confess to her, but having it come out as something cruel because of my blunt nature.
Unfortunately, something similar to the latter happened.
~o~
I remember it so vividly... as if it was only yesterday when in reality, it was years ago. We were seventeen back then. That day, Aria came up to me with that kind smile on her face asking if I wanted to go to the crossroads with her.
I told her yes and so we went.
Once we got there, she immediately confessed her feelings which surprised me. I was surprised, but also happy. This was my long awaited chance to tell her the feelings I've been keeping inside all these years... although that was easier said - or was it thought in this case? - than done.
I fumbled over my words... trying to express myself, my real feelings... but nothing would come out. I couldn't bring myself to tell her.
I couldn't tell her three simple words.
Instead, I shook my head to myself. I couldn't believe I was so cowardly at such an important time. Why couldn't I just tell her? She, on the other hand, must have thought I was shaking my head at her because at that moment, she frowned and told me she understood. She then left without another word.
I was left standing in the crossroads, alone. I was truly angry at myself. I had just did the one thing I never wanted to happen again...
I rejected her.
It was unintentional, but I still did it. I still rejected her feelings. I was such a hypocrite - I did the very same thing I didn't want her to do to me. And it was all because of a small understanding.
Because of that, she was heartbroken... she never went outside anymore. After we graduated from the academy, she never dealt with any of her old friends, and she refused to get a job... she didn't even talk to her brother or parents anymore.
Seeing her like that devastated me. The fact that it was my fault had horrified me even more.
I had tried to apologize and clear things up with her countless times, but either her family wouldn't let me in or she herself would refuse to see me.
So, respecting her wishes, I stopped.
But as the days and weeks passed by, she got even worse. It was then that I made a decision. I decided to clear things up with her - I decided to let her know how I felt about her, whether she wanted to hear it or not.
I didn't know what it would solve, but I had hoped that it would at least make her feel better.
So, on that fateful day, I went to the farm that she shared with her family and knocked on the door of the house. I was going to clear things up with her and no one was going to stop me.
Her father opened the door and when he saw it was me, he immediately frowned. He then went on to tell me that she was not at home because she had run away, claiming that she wanted nothing else to do with this town. He also told me that a search party was looking for her, but they had not found her yet.
Hearing this, I ran to the crossroads - they were the only way out of town. Once I made it there, I headed to Trieste Forest because I remember her saying that was her favorite spot out of the four. I ran through the forest for what seemed like hours, trying to find a sign of her. When I made it to a large grassy clearing in the forest, I saw it.
Or rather, I saw her.
She was sleeping in the grass - or at least, I thought she was. As I walked closer to her, I could see that she was not sleeping, but in fact dead. Her skin was pale and her eyes were lifeless and half lidded. There was fresh blood pouring from a wound in her stomach and a trickle of blood coming out of her mouth. Her hand was also clenched into a fist with pieces of white paper sticking out through her fingers.
I knelt down and looked over her lifeless body. She couldn't have been dead. I had just saw her recently and she looked fine. She was the girl who defeated Fiersome... how could she have died in a place like Trieste Forest? As I looked over her, I saw that she had no weapons with her. No swords, staffs, nothing.
So that was it. She came here unprepared and died for it.
I then noticed the crumpled piece of paper in her clenched fist and gently pulled it out from her hand. As I opened it, I realized it was a note adressed to me. As I read it, everything became clear.
And for the first time ever since I was a child, I cried. I cried for everything that happened to her and me. I cried for the misunderstandings, the heartbreak, everything. As I picked up her limp body and held her in my arms, I cried. Things weren't supposed to happen this way.
If only I had been more brave and accepted her feelings, none of this would've happened.
Now she was gone forever, and there was nothing I could do to change it.
~o~
And now, two years later, I'm standing in front of her grave. After her death, I moved away from Alvarna and to a small frontier town. Some of the villagers sympathized with me while certain others blamed me for her death. And for good reason, too. If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have died. That is something that I will regret for the rest of my life.
I pulled out her note from my pocket. I kept it because it was something that would remind me of her. I smiled bitterly as I read it to myself.
Dear Orland,
I'm sorry I have been avoiding you. I just couldn't face you after I embarrassed myself in front of you.
If you think I'm mad at you, I'm not. It wasn't your fault. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine for confessing so suddenly without taking your feelings into account. So please, don't feel bad because of me.
I'm writing because I wanted you to know that no matter what happens and regardless of how you feel towards me... I love you, a lot. I really do, and I always will.
I just had to get it off my chest before I left this town for good. I know you might not want to see me anymore, but...
Goodbye.
- Aria
This note had cleared up everything in my mind. It made me feel a little less guilty towards the whole incident, but I still felt horrible. Maybe, if things would've happened differently, she would still be alive and we would both be happy...
I looked up to the sky and smiled. I'm sure she was up there, watching over me. And I'm sure that I would be able to see her again, someday.
At that moment, I whispered the three words that I was never able to tell her after all these years.
"I love you, Aria."
I put the note back in my pocket and began to walk away from the grave, whispering to myself.
"And I always will."
So, yeah... the title of this oneshot just popped into my head and after that, the story wrote itself basically. I was thinking of having Aria marry someone else and make Orland's love unrequited, but I think that what I ended up writing was better. I hope you all liked it!
