Issue 16:
Gotham Nobodies:
Opposite Day
Among torn up pool tables and dusty, low hanging lights Iris Phelios sat at a small table across from two men of Syrian descent. The men insisted they meet in the popular bar called Your Alibi on the edge of the Cauldron. Wearing off white robes and head coverings the men spoke Arabic to each other while glaring at Iris who lazily stirred her second Hurricane with a yellow paper umbrella. She turned heads in a silver shimmering dress with raven locks luxuriously draped over her shoulders.
"To be frank we find it highly offensive your employer would send a woman to negotiate with us," one of the faux sheiks stated as the other nodded. Iris casually shrugged.
"Tough shit. What else?" she answered flatly. The men returned to conversation in their native tongue as Iris glanced around the haggard bar. Her phone rang and she answered the unknown number. After listening for a moment she responded to the person on the other line.
"I told you to never call me again. I don't care if it's related to the cause. They may not know our history but I expected you to speak up and mention the conflict of interest," she scolded and paused.
"Because I don't feel comfortable working with you, Julian!"
"No it is working together. Look, one job and I expect a new contact and I mean it. Email me the info," Iris ended the call and slammed her phone angrily on the table.
"Alright boys, you have guns. Our mutual friend wants to buy them and he gave me the checkbook. Are we going to deal?" she prodded.
"Who was that on the phone?" the other sheik asked.
"Just some guy I used to fuck," she explained. Immediately they went back to whispering to each other. Iris sighed and went back to her drink when her phone buzzed on the table. As she read the text a broad, relieved grin spread across her face.
"Times up, boys. It seems my employer found a better deal and sealed it. Your services won't be necessary," she concluded dropping more than enough money on the table to cover the check. The man closest to her caught her shoulder as she stood.
"You abandon our deal after disrespecting us, you American whore?" he yelled slapping her hard across the face. The blow rocked Iris in her heels but she kept her footing. A few decent men at the bar stood until they noticed the look in Iris's eyes and quickly sat again.
"Margie," Iris called to the matronly bartender, "the Cousin would appreciate you cleaning this mess up." Margie nodded wiping her beer soaked hands on an equally saturated beer rag.
"I'd do it even if it wasn't for him," the old woman declared. The Cousin, Iris's employer, they spoke of was Raul Maroni, Sal Maroni's cousin who took control of the family after Sal was killed in a hit by Red Hood.
"Thank you dear," Iris said. She snatched her oversized cocktail off the table and smashed half a glass of Hurricane across the first man's face. The base of the glass broke off in her grasp and she slashed the second man across the neck while he watched his friend fall.
"I would have walked away," Iris yelled crouched in front of the first man's face, "but you messed with the wrong bitch! Now you get to feel the fury of the Harpy!"
"The who?" the first man bleated holding the bloody side of his face as Iris dug through her purse.
"The Harpy, asshole!"
"I-I don't know who that is, please," the man stammered.
"I used to partner with Maxie Zeus," Iris pressed drawing her .38 Special from her purse.
"Who's Maxie Zeus? I don't understand," the man begged. She shook her head and cocked the hammer.
"No fucking respect."
BAM BAM
Sitting in the darkness, all on my own
Then I see a light, I'm no longer alone
You burst into my life
When it was so full of strife
Now I can't imagine life without you
If I lost you it would be as if life was already through
A fake smile, a hidden tear
You see my pain and my fear
I trust you, I let you help me
Because some of my pain you set free
There's a little light in my life, now you are my friend
Without you my heart would be black and life would surely end
I love you so much Bam Bam
From Lil Jam Jam
The teenaged poet stepped down from the microphone as mild applause rose from the small crowd. Near the front of the stage a monstrous man clapped like a thunderhead while unabashed tears streamed down his face. Every night this hulking man sat on wobbly, distressed chairs hanging on every word of the amateur poets who frequented the coffee house. At the end of the four hour open mic he would help stack chairs and breakdown the miniscule stage. After clean up he'd shake hands with any remaining poets providing them with as much positive critiquing as they would tolerate. Patrons of the café knew this enormous man as Anatoli Knyazez a Russian immigrant desperately trying like so many others to make good on the American dream. Law enforcement officers and the metahuman community knew him better as KGBeast, former Kremlin agent and hired killer of the now defunct communist regime.
It was true in the eighties he embarked on a massacre of high ranking government officials ending with his sights set on the current president Ronald Reagan. Batman put a stop to it before completion leading to his disavowal by Mother Russia and disgrace in the eyes of the criminal underworld. Eventually Anatoli found himself as a bottom barrel henchman who garnered no respect in his adopted city. For many years he struggled making ends meet until by chance he found solace in a community of Buddhists offering metaphysical understand and personal enlightenment. His time in America quickly softened the rigorous discipline demanded of him by his previous handlers and he grew to love his enemies' homeland.
Russia bred him to be a flesh and blood war machine pumped full of cybernetic enhancements and education beyond that of a simple assassin. Fluent in five languages including Latin and strength rivalling Gotham's other strong man Bane, Anatoli now resided in a small sect of likeminded brothers and sisters who caused no trouble to the city and were therefor typically ignored. Tonight like most nights he was just a man who enjoyed the emotions of his fellow citizens put to paper and gifted to a mostly uninterested world. Many in the café looked on as the three hundred and fifty pound killing machine wept without shame at the ambitious, sorrowful, and sometimes joyous display of others. Few in that room could truly comprehend what he was. The coffee shop's owner tapped him on the shoulder to inform him of a call waiting in the back of the store.
"Da?" Anatoli spoke into the phone pausing, "Dobryy vecher, Misteer Day. It's terrible business in city you speak of. Happy we are to be join vhere needed." He paused again and began writing down instructions on a pad by the phone.
"Da tovarishch, counting on KGBeast you may. Impossible deesappointment is. Toodal loo," he said cheerfully mixing the American colloquialism into his speech. Anatoli turned to the waiting café owner and shook his head.
"Going to work tonight, Anatoli?" the bespectacled man asked.
"Da Misteer Greg, my adoring fans need wait tonight. No poetry can be done until mission is complete," he affirmed and straightened a massive tan cowboy hat on his head.
"Iris Phelios, born July 28 on a leap year. Astrological sign: Leo, ruling planet: the sun. Notable shared births: Robert Hooke (1635), Beatrix Potter (1866), Luigi Musso (1924), Vajiralongkorn (1952), Gunnar Nelson (1988)," Julian Day recited gazing out the window of his apartment over the Diamond District. Iris sat arms crossed looking anywhere but at the bald man standing before her.
"Anatoli Knyazez," Julian began again before the mountain of a man cut him off.
"Dast is me, comrade," he declared proudly pounding his chest once.
"Yes…" Julian continued, "born November 2. Astrological sign: Scorpio, ruling planet: Pluto. Notable shared births: Anne of York (1475), Daniel Boone (1734), Warren G. Harding (1865), Bunny Berigan (1908), Muhammad Rafiq Tarar (1929), k.d. lang (1961)." Julian Day was a genius and a killer. Obsessed with holidays he incorporated his love for dates into his crimes and Gotham's media dubbed him the Calendar Man, a name he wore with pride. So advanced was his knowledge of significant dates even Batman consulted with him from prison during the Holiday Murders. Quickly approaching fifty years old Julian developed something of a potbelly and managed a small fortune made by drummed up online astrology readings. He found a never ending stream of people desperate to pay hit to tell them what to do. Wearing a white two button suit he leaned over the desk skimming a hand over his smooth head.
"I'll be brief," Julian began, "Sometime ago it was discovered both heroes and villains were being struck down attempting to enter or exit the city. The few witnesses that came forward described a beam of energy from the sky striking them down. After the meeting and subsequent creation of Gotham's Militia I was tasked with neutralizing this barrier. Five members including the two of you were assigned to my task force and so far no progress has been made."
"I don't like this Julian. It's probably some satellite dropping an orbital strike," Iris protested, "We can't stop something like that." Julian shook his head.
"We've had our tech specialists scanning constantly and they assure me there's nothing of the sort up there," he said.
"Not to have worries, Misteer Day," Anatoli declared, "There is not a thing our mighty team up doesn't handle."
"No we should have worries," Iris disagreed addressing Julian again, "We have no idea what we're walking into and I don't even know this guy. He barely speaks English." Seemingly embarrassed Anatoli looked away.
"What about backup and weapons?"
"We'll get you the best tech we can. As far as backup I'll keep radio contact with you at all times and if anything goes wrong I'll have Calculator on the back line," Julian promised. Unsatisfied Iris shook her head and sneered.
"Not good enough. What about the other three you said were on this team. Where are they?" she asked. Julian winced but didn't look away.
"I sent them one by one through different routes out of the city. They're gone and I never got as much as a report back."
"Dead? Oh Julian," she sighed. A look of grim determination crossed Anatoli's broad visage.
"Dis is famous villain Harpy and me KGBeast, favorite son of stern mother Russia. We break fascist weapon like wimpy wave against hard rock," Anatoli stated punching his fist into his hand. Iris blushed for a moment before catching herself. Wisely Julian remained focused on her.
"You have to know I don't want to ask this of you, Iris. Please just go see the weapon master and then decide. I'm not about to send you in defenseless," Julian guaranteed extending a business card to her. Anatoli looked at her with an expectant stare like a child. She snatched the card from Julian's hand. The massive Russian pumped his fist in the air excitedly and began planning.
"Now all need do is come up with ulteemate team name!"
In Iris's Jeep she drove them through the darkness of Gotham. Though crammed into the passenger's seat Anatoli hadn't complained once. Glancing down at the card gripped tight in her hand she read the print again. For a good time call Caldwell (074)-296-1167.
"The lights," Anatoli spoke up, "they're so bright and the city seems so accessible but behind them are shadows that hide unspeakable secrets. It reminds me of Moscow. You can live there your whole life and think you know everything the city has to offer only to discover there's too much to know." Iris stared at him with her mouth agape.
"What the shit was that?" she asked. Though a slight accent remained the Russian spoke so eloquently not to mention grammatically correct that Iris almost drove the Jeep off the road.
"I apologize for the deception, Iris," he explained, "I thought if we were working together I should be honest. The broken English is just a different form of code switching I use. Sometimes when people invent certain expectations of you they can be used to one's benefit. I just wanted you to know I understand you in an emergency."
"Huh," she puffed dumbstruck, "What else are you hiding?"
"I study Buddhism at a small temple in the city."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I shun material possessions which is why you had to drive us."
"Not even a toothbrush?"
"I have a toothbrush," he assured, "What about you? How do you live your life?" Iris shrugged.
"Normally I guess?" she shifted up and stomped the gas, "Angrily."
Before long they arrived and entered the home base of Gotham's Militia, a nondescript warehouse owned by Oswald Cobblepot. Inside the traffic died down as it neared the dead of night. A few busy scientists looked up long enough to say hello to Anatoli who knew everyone by name. The pair approached a large green army tent with a small sign at the entrance that stated "Weapon Master". Anatoli held the flap back and Iris entered the dark enclosure ambushed by the screaming guitar of Tom Morello combined with the acrid aromas of burning meat and hair.
In the far corner of the room filled with oddities and scrap a man roasted a starving dog in a cage with some kind of thin oscillating laser weapon. The broad shouldered man tossed the gun aside into a pile of junk next to him and lifted the welder's visor from his face. Though soiled with grease and metal shavings his appearance cut a handsome profile against the dim lighting. Iris believed him to be no more than thirty and the second man who took the mantle of a villain called Wrath. His given name was E.D. Caldwell.
"Well hello gorgeous," he leered greeting Iris, "please tell me you need guns and have no money." She scoffed and Anatoli spoke up behind her.
"Great evening, Misteer Caldwell. Sent by Calendar Man we were for supplies to break siege on city," he offered. The weapon master's face fell when he saw Anatoli crouched to make it in the multiroom tent.
"And you must be the Russian meat shield," Caldwell grunted apparently forewarned of their arrival by Julian, "you can pop a squat on that anvil. It might hold you." Anatoli did just that while Caldwell cleared a spot on one of the many workbenches.
"Calendar Queer gave me a rundown on the shit storm you're walking into," Caldwell continued laying hardware out before him, "Can't say I'm jealous of any of that. However the higher powers gave the greenlight to suit you up with the best of the best to get you in and out safe and fucking sound. Item one, long range communications transceivers. Think of them as the walkie talkies you always dreamed of as a kid. Next up a jet booster for the beautiful little bird. Hook this pack up on the cross-section of your wings and control it with this switch that runs up to your hand. Item three, crowd control. This is my top of the line Omnicannon, 270 degree firing range equipped with auto lock blasting phasic rounds that will fuck somebody's shit up twenty nine ways to Sunday." He tossed the rifle to Iris and winked.
"Watch the kick on that thing, sugar tits," Caldwell warned and next removed a long hypodermic syringe filled with a neon blue liquid, "Last but not least for Sluggo we have a vaccine to protect against measles, mumps, and Rubella." Anatoli and Iris looked at each other confused.
"Nah I'm just fucking with you," Caldwell chuckled, "It's something the lab nerds cooked up to enhance preexisting cybernetics. Probably like juicing in the weight room. Use it wisely." Finished and no longer interested Caldwell ordered them out and disappeared into a back room of the tent.
"I just met the guy and I already can't fucking stand him," Iris claimed as they bagged their new gear.
"Really?" Anatoli asked smiling, "He kind of reminds me of you with all the bad language."
"Let's get out of here, Yakov," she responded rolling her eyes.
"Wait!" Caldwell yelled from the back, "Don't forget this. A personal shield generator donated by Luthor Corp." He explained and tossed the small device to Iris.
"If that doesn't keep you safe nothing in this world will."
The next morning Iris drove them to scenic Aparo Park on the city limits of Gotham. Surprisingly the park lay empty despite the cloudless sky and temperate weather.
"What a beautiful place," Anatoli declared as they parked. Iris jerked the park brake and grunted.
"Looks like a fucking graveyard," she complained but stopped when she noticed the look of concern of his face, "I'm sorry, Anatoli. I don't know why I get so upset about things." The gigantic man shrugged.
"You took on the name of the harpy. Often our names inform who we become. Maybe you need to rediscover who Iris is under that mask of rage. When we finish this you should come with me to the temple and work on yourself some, partner," he suggested. She stared shyly at the ground for a moment.
"Okay," she agreed softly. Once geared up and connected with Julian and Anatoli she spread her mechanical wings and shot off into the air stream. Nimbly riding the updrafts Iris scouted a wide area around the park but spied nothing suspicious on the ground or in the sky. Anatoli began his walk to the edge of the park activating his Luthor Corp shield.
"Go for contact," Julian stated calmly watching the video feed from the safety of his apartment. Everything was eerily quiet. Anatoli stopped at the edge of the grounds and sheepishly looked up but nothing came.
"All clear on top," Iris radioed across the line. When he took the next step onto the river bank she heard it, a faraway hum like a live current from a wire.
"Wait!" she cried and then everything happened too fast. A streak of red shot over her so fast even her eagle eyes couldn't make it out. The streak made a ninety degree angle as it hurtled down perpendicular to the ground. Anatoli had just enough time to raise his hands over his head when it struck the bubble shield and bounced off through a swing set. The figure stood quickly amidst the swirling dust and Iris saw the monster large as life with red cape flowing behind it.
"Oh. Fuck." Iris said wide eyed with fear.
"Me am not winning!" the figure screamed, "Me am the weakest! Everyone can stand before the might of BIZARRO!" Bizarro was s mentally damaged clone of Superman, and it appeared SECURE had somehow leashed him as a watchdog acting as a fence around Gotham. With similar powers to Superman he felt no constraints from things like honor and responsibility. He always spoke in reverse of what he truly meant and on a scale of power outmatched the two of them by magnitudes.
"This is too much," Iris muttered before snapping out of the shock, "Julian! What should we do?" There was a pregnant pause before he answered.
"Iris, run."
"Screw that. Get me, Calculator," she ordered and Kutter's voice came through her earpiece.
"I'm here, Harpy," he replied.
"What kind of help can we get from the man who has everything?" She asked hovering hundreds of feet above the monster as it approached Anatoli.
"Blue kryptonite is on the way…at most four minutes out," Calculator estimated.
"Thanks though we'll be dead by then I'm sure," she stated.
"10 to 1," he answered. Iris sighed, tucked her wings behind her and dove.
KGBeast stared death in the face and it wore what appeared to be red spandex. Its pronounced jawline might have been handsome if it wasn't pale white and cracked like crumbling rock. The monster roared and pounded both fists against the shield until he felt the field round him quiver.
"You am strong! You am not hiding like coward!" Bizarro screamed franticly slamming himself into the invisible wall. KGBeast heard Calculator's claim that help was four minutes out and calmly let his opponent wear himself out if such a thing was even possible. Despite what many believed KGBeast was a wise person. A lesser man may have succumbed to the taunts but he came to know it didn't matter whether it was his death or the monster's. All was one in the end and we all met that end and joined that one in our own ways. That's how Anatoli and the majority of others faced life, safe in their bubble with the world banging away outside howling to be let in. Then the day comes and the wall falls. The bubble bursts and life goes for the throat.
When the shield finally gave KGBeast stood prepared. Instead of attempting to match his enemy's strength he used it against him. Bizarro erupted through and dove at him as he slipped under those hands and kicked him in the stomach sending the monster crashing through two picnic benches. The reversal only stunned him for a moment then Bizarro flew into him with a speed that shocked the man.
Slamming him into the ground Bizarro beat KGBeast with fists like hammers of God. Again and again he struck until KGBeast felt like he'd died a thousand times only to be resurrected with the recession of each fist. Like an angel she dropped in a gust of wind, but he couldn't see her face only white wings behind the berserk monster. Bizarro turned and was blasted off of KGBeast from a round of the Omnicannon while he remained broken on the ground. Swiftly Harpy took off again as KGBeast stuck the needle of blue serum into his leg.
Harpy flew in the opposite direction of the enemy, and when she heard him screaming as he bulleted towards her she spun in midair and fired again directly into his slobbering face. Bizarro fell twisting, smoking, and wailing into the sandbox as she flew on looking for cover. Before long the monster exploded up and shot after her again. In response she triggered the jet attached to her wings and could barely maintain control due to the force.
"Julian, can I get some help here?" she didn't ask as much as tell.
"Yes, there's an abandoned complex ahead built in '67 probably chock full of lead paint. Use that for cover. It's coming up ten o'clock," Calendar Man responded. Harpy spotted it and cut into it through a hole in the wall while Bizarro's momentum carried him past her. A mighty roar sounded as she landed and quietly slipped from room to dilapidated room. Somewhere ahead she heard him smashing through floors and bellowing enraged. Harpy breathed a sigh of relief when the crashes moved away.
"Calculator," she whispered into the comm, "We need that kryptonite now."
"The Flamingo is in route now on his motorcycle coming down Marshall Avenue six blocks away," Calculator explained but the rest of his statement was cut off as a loud wind of incredibly hot air swept through the building. Sweat immediately broke out on her forehead and her chest felt like it was burning. She felt like her lungs couldn't process the oxygen and she saw black spots dance across her field of vision. In desperation she broke out a poorly boarded window and rode the hot air up above the building. There Bizarro perched blowing his fire breath into a hole in the roof. Screaming again at the sight of her Bizarro fired ice lasers from his eyes that froze over the barrel of the Omnicannon she levelled at him. Disgusted at its now useless state she dropped it and flew off back toward the park igniting the jet pack again. Out of the blue a calm familiar voice rolled across her comm.
"Harpy, bring him back to me," KGBeast said, "I break him." In the short span of time KGBeast laid in the ground the blue wonder drug sent his cybernetic implants into overdrive updating their software. A flood of nanomachines activated and quickly worked to heal his wounded body. Soon he was on his feet again but the technology pushed onward to new heights. Muscles gained mass and synapses fired at triple speed. Like a grizzly bear with the agility of a lynx he grew another three inches. Even his eyesight improved and KGBeast spied Harpy skimming the ground at full speed zeroed in on him with Bizarro trailing close behind her. He held up his hand as she passed over and back in she tagged him. KGBeast caught Bizarro by the throat with his gigantic hand and slammed him into the ground.
"Keep him occupied until I get back," Harpy ordered, "I won't be long." Back above the city now she spotted a hot pink motorcycle roaring down the street and set a course to intercept. The flamboyant assassin Flamingo pulled over when he noticed her above and removed the small, blue kryptonite dagger from his side pouch.
"Flamingo, we need you now," she called catching the dagger he flipped to her, "Will you help us?" The thin grizzled man shook his head kicking the starter on his bike.
"Not my fight, woman," he answered, "Not all of us are crazy enough to believe we can stand toe to toe with Bizarro." Flamingo spun his bike around and took off back into town. Under her breath Harpy cursed and flew off the other way.
"Calculator, we've got the kryptonite," Harpy reported into the comm, "How're the odds looking now?"
"7 to 1," he answered without hesitation.
"Dammit! Come on! You need to get Flamingo back here. We need every villain in the city for this," Harpy declared zooming towards the park.
"I can't. He wants too much for it," Calculator explained, "They all do."
"Money? This is about money? Oh hell, of course it is," she scoffed.
"Capitalism lives ever and on."
"At least something will," she grumbled.
Back in the park between teeter totters and slides the titans waged their war head to head. Their strikes rang like summer thunder and the ground lay broken and scarred all around them. Even with the new enhancements KGBeast found himself at a physical disadvantage to the monster only not so much as before the serum. Wisely he used his training to hit Bizarro with a different form of attack each time. The monster relied on brute strength and incredible speed. Once or twice he landed a solid hit on KGBeast pushing the machines in his body farther than they were ever meant to go. Both behemoths battled tirelessly for an audience of none. A desperate haymaker from Bizarro crashed through air as KGBeast dodged back. He caught Bizarro at the elbow and flipped him over. Still holding an arm KGBeast mercilessly pounded the monster whose face felt like a cinder block.
"Special delivery," Harpy warned through his comm and KGBeast reached up to catch the small dagger she dropped. His large mitt completely enveloped it in his grasp. Before he could do anything else Bizarro rose wrapping both hands around his fist and squeezed. To KGBeast the force that the monster exerted on his hand felt like an industrial press. The massive man fell to his knees from the pain as bones crunched loudly. Harpy looked on in horror and helplessness as Bizarro released his grip and peeled KGBeast's broken hand open to reveal a blue mound of powder where the blade of the dagger used to be. Bizarro's strength turned their only weapon to dust in an instant.
"What you not do now?" Bizarro laughed holding KGBeast's hand in front of his face, "You am not stab me with dust?" For one moment everything stood still seemingly lost and in the next instant Harpy dropped on the scene hovering with her head just above KGBeast's shoulder. She released a swift lungful of air at his hand and sent the blue kryptonite dust into Bizarro's face and eyes. Roaring in pained anger the monster reared back holding his head. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to stop him as he dove back at them with blood streaming from his eyes and lips. KGBeast knocked her down out of the way and Bizarro snatched him taking him up into the sky. A rocketing fist beat all sense of surroundings out of KGB while they rose above the city.
"You not want be strong as Bizarro?" the monster spit in his face, "Little man must not fly like Bizarro!" He dropped KGBeast now unconscious into the vast blue background. KGBeast's unresponsive body hurtled like a missile towards the ground. Desperately Harpy caught him as best she could only to strain against his bulky weight. It was all she could do to keep hold of him and slow the crash. They plummeted like eagles locked in a territorial death spiral.
Much sooner than she would have liked they crashed into the ground and Harpy felt her ankle snap against a rock. Something in her right wing snapped along with it. Red cape fluttering in the wind Bizarro landed lightly before them grunting with dilated pupils. Perhaps it was the dust in his eyes but as he stepped down in the crater below him his foot caught. He stumbled the same moment a bullet was fired from a rooftop a block from the park. That blue kryptonite slug aimed right for his heart went an inch high and tore through his left shoulder. Bizarro fell silently as a deep voice came over Harpy's comm.
"Target down," Deadshot broadcast, "The cavalry's here now, Harpy." She leaned back and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you," she began but suddenly Bizarro seized again and again spitting up dark blood. Deadshot's bullet so perfectly aimed missed the heart by sheer chance. The honed kryptonite slug now lay buried safely in the dirt underneath the monster. Bizarro dragged himself from the crater struggling to gain his feet.
"Oh no, shoot him again!" Harpy cried.
"I- I only had one round," Deadshot stammered. Critically injured and furious Bizarro stood blasting cold lasers again that shot across the park and up the building until they froze Deadshot's rifle. The ice block grew down the gun and up to the sniper's wrists as he howled in agony. At incredible speed the monster flew up to Deadshot's roost and snatched the man by the armor rocketing him back to the park. Dropping the sniper on the ground Bizarro wiped the blood from his chin.
"Brave man, treat Bizarro with respect," the monster huffed, "Not shoot him in surprise and hide." Harpy heard Calendar Man pleading through the comm.
"Harpy, it's over. Pull out now. There's nothing you can do," he begged but Harpy removed the earpiece and tossed it aside. Quitting was so easy. Tossing her hands up and walking away was a well-practiced hobby of hers. Something now refused to let her. She stood behind the monster and felt no fear. There was no monster in front of her just a scared, confused animal. She knew this because she knew a real monster. The monster that wouldn't rest and knew not the definition of peace lived inside of her spewing venom over her heart as long as she could remember. This hurricane in red before her was a gust of wind compared to the rage coiled around her heart. Only one course of action remained so ludicrous and beyond belief it verged on lunacy. Harpy limped up behind Bizarro who ignored Deadshot for a moment and turned to her.
"Bizarro, I bet you can hit me as hard as you can," she goaded. Bizarro stopped for a moment to think and she could see the wheels turning in his head.
"Bizarro can't hit you as hard as he can!" he yelled. Reaching out with a finger he gave a soft poke to her chest.
"Oh no!" she shouted and dramatically fell to the ground bumping her injured ankle in the process, "Me am defeated, most defeated in entire galaxy." Bizarro looked at her suspiciously.
"Me am total loser," she continued not daring to look and see if it was working, "No one am more defeated than Harpy!" Bizarro charged her stopping his intimidating face an inch from hers.
"You am not more defeated than Bizarro!" the monster cried, "Bizarro is only one who can be defeated. Bizarro is only one who can lose! I NOT SHOW YOU!" Growling threateningly the monster grabbed his head in both hands and twisted it around almost completely. The accompanying snaps and pops made Harpy gag reflexively. Bizarro's body went limp and crashed to the ground before her. Collapsing with tears in her eyes Harpy sat next to the body for a long time and eventually began to laugh. While Deadshot tended to KGBeast other aid finally arrived. When they helped her up she still managed to get a few swift kicks at the corpse with her good foot while swearing violently. Such was the fury of the Harpy.