Pairing: GokuxVegeta
Warning: Shounen-ai
Note: Written for SlaughterChiChi who gave me the mood prompt 'frustration' on a meme over at dA.
Swallowed Screams
He hates him. He absolutely hates him.
Hates the way he can just smile and laugh with the ones he calls his friends. The friends who would have been dead long ago if he hadn't forgotten all about who he was. Then it would have all been different. Then he would have been the lowly peasant underneath the boot of his prince that he was supposed to be. He would have kept his eyes lowered and his power level purposely down. Then Vegeta knew he could have been the Super Saiyan. Because he was the one who should have achieved that. Him! It was his birthright! Not his! Not Kakarott's! The one thing he still had to cling on to when his entire race had been thrown into the darkest pits of hell. And the low-life had stolen it!
And Vegeta doesn't just keep those thoughts to himself. Not once had he ever been one to do that. He tells Goku all of this. Screams it in his face. His throat goes raw, his voice begins to strain, but he won't stop. Won't stop the torrent of abuse the scumbag deserves.
But even then Goku won't back down. Just stands there. Just stands there and listens with his eyebrows level and the corners of his mouth turned down ever so slightly. He only apologises for making him feel that way. That he didn't know.
What he won't apologise for is not doing what he was meant to in the first place. Destroy the planet. Accident or not, he had the chance when his brother had caught up with him. Destroy the planet, that was all the had to do. Then go back and become a soldier under Vegeta's command.
It's frustrating. Too frustrating. Vegeta feels it taking hold of him, wrapping it's squeezing fingers around his heart and soul. He gives into it, drawing on the strength of such hatred.
As his arms start to gesture wildly in the air, Goku takes hold of them. His facial expression alters. Becomes more concerned.
No! That's not what Vegeta wants. He wants the third-class to give back what he stole from him. To worship him. To fear him!
Vegeta isn't shouting words anymore, just screaming. Screaming as much as his quivering body will allow, most of the noise swallowed by the frustration that still grips him and tightens his throat. Goku tells him to stop, that he'll hurt himself. He's pleading.
Even now, that's not what Vegeta wants. That's not the right sort of pleading. No! Why must Kakarott ruin everything?!
As he shakes his head furiously, the world blurring so violently in front of him he's forced to close his eyes, Vegeta feels Goku's grip on his arm loosen for just a split second. It's all the time he needs to rest the palms of his hands upon Vegeta's back and pull their bodies together.
He's still shaking his head, clutching at Goku's shirt. Bunching the material tightly in his fists. Just the slightest jolt of the wrist would rip it apart. But he doesn't make that small movement, just hold him.
Goku's lips are on his and Vegeta find himself responding. Attacking back. It's the only way for him to think about this. The only way he can accept his own actions. Provoked by him.
Their teeth knock together as their tongues fight. Through the buzz of crazed emotions, Vegeta briefly registers that Goku is also clenching his fists, clutching at the material he holds. Even here Vegeta fights for power. And loses as Goku manages to almost crush their mouths together, slipping his tongue a little down Vegeta's throat.
He hates him. He hates him!
Yet...
END