Author's Notes: Okay so this is one of my first attempts to get back into the TMNT fandom. I apologize for being away for so long but my attention has been drawn elsewhere. I've got so many bunnies gnawing on my brain for attention, it's not even funny. And the worst part is that the bunnies are for other personal fandom favorites of mine! Anyway, with this story, I'm attempting to deal with something very personal that's going on in my life. I might be a bit biased but I decided to use Karai and Leo for this one shot. Read the story and you'll find out why. But here's a hint: I'm a Karai fan and I like the Leo/Karai pairing. I thought about using April and Don but as the words kept coming, it just didn't sound like them. And before anyone accuses me of making the characters act unlike themselves, this one shot is set in an AU setting. Plus I think it's an interesting premise to see Karai struggling with romantic feelings. Depending on how well this story goes over, I might write a second chapter. And this story has not been beta read so please forgive any mistakes you might find. I've already sent the story to my beta and I do plan on fixing whatever errors she might find. Enough babbling from me though... Enjoy and happy reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT or anything associated with the TMNT.

Never in a million years had she felt so strongly about another person. She knew what it felt like to love her family and friends. She knew what it was like to have a crush on someone and she definitely knew how it felt when your feelings for someone went much deeper than friendship.

She just couldn't believe that she might actually be in love. As much as she wanted to convince herself otherwise, she was experiencing all of the tell-tale signs.

Whenever he was near her, she grew anxious and nervous. When she managed to catch sight of him, she would get flustered and had a hard time not making herself look like a fool. Her heart sped up just a little when he actually talked to her and paid her attention.

She constantly found herself thinking of him at the most random and weirdest times. She couldn't even go a day without at least wondering just how longer she would be able to pretend that she didn't care about him.

What scared her the most, however, was the fact that he might be aware of her feelings.

She never made it a point to ask him but the thought still kept her awake at night. She didn't even know how many times she wondered whether or not she should confess how she felt. On one hand, she was afraid of being rejected. On the other hand, however, she would never know his feelings unless she tried.

She didn't even have the courage to tell her family or her friends. It wasn't because she didn't want to tell them. She was hesitant to discuss such a delicate matter with anyone because she was afraid of their reactions.

Her father would probably disown her on the spot while her so called friends would probably think she was out of her mind. What was even worse was the simple fact that she was absolutely convinced that no one would actually be able to relate to her current situation.

So to put it bluntly, she was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place.

She had already ruled out friendly or platonic feelings because she was quite sure you didn't stare longingly at a friend when you thought they weren't looking. She was also quite positive that you didn't think about someone so much if they were just a friend. More importantly, however, you didn't want and actually crave a deep and personal relationship with someone who was just a friend.

Next came the so called question on whether or not she had a crush on him…

At first, she simply thought that's what her feelings were. After all, it was normal and perfectly healthy for a woman to have a crush on a man. But she knew that a crush didn't last long and was merely a brief infatuation with someone.

So when her feelings only grew stronger with each passing day, she was almost at her wit's end. She was totally convinced that her feelings had only been a passing fancy but she was wrong, so completely wrong.

She hadn't even bothered to wonder if she was merely lusting after him. She knew from the moment she laid eyes on him that she hadn't wanted him for his body. He had a very nice build but she wasn't interested in him because of his body or what they could do in the bedroom.

Every day she spent with him made her realize what a terrific and wonderful person he truly was. He was the first man to ever see her as a woman. He didn't think she was unfeminine nor did he look at her like she was just another person.

He treated her like a woman and for that she could have kissed him senseless. Growing up around nothing but men had done nothing to instill feminine ways in her. She was more attracted to masculine things not because she wanted to be a man but only because it was all she knew.

There had never been any long lasting female presences in her life either so she was left trying to navigate the world of romance and love on her own. After all, it wasn't like she could ask her father to teach her about any of that. He probably would have scoffed at the very idea and then told her to be on her way.

Either way, she couldn't help being attracted to him. He was one of the few people who could actually get her to smile or laugh. He was also one of the few people who could get away with teasing her too.

She just couldn't believe it.

Here she was, a strong, noble and capable woman pinning over some man like a lovesick schoolgirl… If she weren't so prideful and stubborn, she would have had an easier time recognizing her feelings earlier.

If she was completely honest with herself though, she would be shocked to discover just how much she actually liked him. He was intelligent, sensitive, caring, sweet, attentive and attractive. Another thing she liked about him was how he always had a nice word or compliment for her. She wasn't used to such pleasant words or gestures but he said them to her with such ease. Then there was also the fact that his smile was so dazzling.

Perhaps the best thing she liked about him, however, was his eyes. They were so dark and stunning. She could easily get lost staring into those deep, shimmering pools. Not to mention, how warm and inviting they looked as well…

Honestly, she was sick and tired of trying to make sense of this whole ordeal.

Her feelings were constantly changing, never staying the same for too long. Never mind the fact that maybe what she wanted was just a strictly platonic relationship outside of her family and friends. It never crossed her mind that she just might want companionship from him either.

Regardless of how things turned out, she was determined to not let her heart get the best of her. She was stronger than this. There was no way she would succumb to the weakness known as "romantic love". She had survived this long without being plagued by such feelings so why she should start bothering with them now?

Now if she could only convince herself as well as her heart to stop caring…