I'm crying again. Same cold spot. Same old reason. Why was it Akashiichi? The reason is because through the pain I love him. The only problem is that it feels one sided. The sex we have… he shows no interest in it except for release. I feel neglected and unwanted. Even the rest of the tem have started to see through my false smiles. Even after knowing all this, I still go back, I still want him to hold me even if it's only me who loves. I sneeze loudly. I look up after wiping my nose on my jacket's sleeve to see it is snowing.
"Beautiful," I whisper to no one. No one wants to hear me anyway. I huddle back into my ball watching the flakes melt on the sidewalk. The view of the lake here is what calms me after my also one sided fight. Basically I go to hug of kiss Akashi just because you know, I love him, and he pushes me away. I yell angrily, he sighs a halfhearted answer. I always want to keep going in these fights but he uses his power he has over everyone to keep me quiet. All I can do is leave. So that's what I did and always do. That is why I am here and why I know I'll keep coming back here. I sigh feeling an ice cold line down my cheek. I thought I was done crying. The snow piles on me and I begin to shiver. Suddenly it stops falling on me. I look up to see a red umbrella. Holding it is none other than Akashi.
"You'll catch a cold if you don't get inside." I turn my head not wanting to look at him. This is the first time he has come to find me. He brushes the snow off me gently and I resist the urge to flinch. He hasn't hurt me but his threats are enough if things don't go his way. He puts his jacket over my shoulders. More tears fall down my face. He is torturing me with this kindness. Akashi takes my arm in a lose hold and pulls me up to my full height. I'm taller but that doesn't matter. He is stronger than me emotionally and physically. I guess that's why he is captain. Akashi pulls me to his car telling his driver to take him home. I snuggle into his jacket that smells of a sweet and bitter spice. Soon I fall asleep to the sound of the cars going by and the street lights occasionally gracing my face.
I stir awake to the sound of water. Soon I feel warm, moist air on my body and am dipped gingerly into hot water. It feels good though. A hand rubs the water onto my chest and arms. i gain my vision back to see Akashi's multi colored eyes. They haven't noticed me yet. I watch him trying to get me warm. When he wets a soft looking rag and brings it up to my face he falters, our eyes connecting. He then rubs my face with warm water.
"You're an idiot for going out there, you could have died from hypothermia." I snort. He looks at me with expectant eyes.
"Like you'd care. I mean nothing to you." He wets the rag again.
"Then why do you come back?" I bite my lip barely feeling it. I look at him with most likely broken eyes.
"Because I'm in love with you." He gets up and brings a towel. I step into it on shaky legs. He takes me to his bed taking the towel and covers me up in thick blankets. I watch him undress taking in his body, pretending that he would embrace me and tell me he loves me. When he is fully naked he comes over and gets under the blankets on top of me. He lays down and- embraces me tightly. I'm stunned into paralysis.
"You want me to say I love you." I feel his hot breath on my neck. God I want him to say it. "How do I say something I don't understand yet?" my eyes grow big. He confirmed my fears, he doesn't, no, can't love me. I choke on a sob. I'm pathetic. He parts to look at my face. He starts to kiss me tears away and lightly licking the salty trails. I shake not from cold but from raw emotion I'm fighting to control. My heart hurts to the point it my go numb from pain. Then Akashi speaks.
"I know that I don't want you to leave and that if you did I might break into pieces without you. If needing someone to live is what love is then maybe- I do love you." I break. My emotions have gone crazy. I feel so many at once I almost feel sick. I go to wipe my tears way. I feel Akashi helping me with his thumb. I take him into a desperate embrace sobbing softly in his shoulder.
"Say it again please Akashi."
"I love you," he lays on top of me whispering I love you's into my ear. He kisses the tears away until I can't cry anymore. Then we fall asleep side by side in each other's arms.
The next day I wake up with him stroking stray hairs out of my eyes. The sun shines on us from the window giving his hair the appearance of fire and mine gold. I smile softly at him then look at the clock. I jerk up, shocked.
"We are late for our morning practice." I am about to get out of the bed when Akashi grabs my arm forcing me back into bed. He covers me back up and gets on top of me in one swift movement.
"Practice is canceled. You need rest."
"But I-" he quiets me with his soft lips. I drink this in feeling the bliss of everything being perfect.
"I love you Kise Ryouta. You are mine forever." I smile wide. Eyes shining in a strong golden light.
"I love you too Akashi kun." I whisper and am swiftly taken into his embrace filled with deep kisses and light touches losing track of time till time didn't matter.
I wrote this in thirty minutes after singing three wishes by the pierces. I like it and it brought out some emotion in me. I hope it did for you guys. Please! Review! I need them. I haven't had a review in a month so im dieing here! I know you are all out there reading my stories so review!