Bowser was hanging out in his castle, having just recently captured the love of his life, Princess Peach.

"Gwahaha! I've got you for good this time, Princess!" Bowser gloated.

"Yeah right, Mario will come and save me like he always does, you fat oaf!" Peach retorted.

"Not this time, heh heh." Bowser laughed, having recently installed giant pools and laser sharks that shoots lasers that shoot lasers that shoot laser sharks that shoot rabid beavers. Mario would never get through this trap, right?

"YAHOOOOOOOO!"

It was then that Mario jumped through a window, used the brand new Shark Suit that was introduced in New Super Mario Bros. 25 for the Nintendo 4DS™ to befriend the laser sharks that shoot lasers that shoot lasers that shoot laser sharks that shoot rabid beavers.

"WHA—" was all Bowser could get out before Mario mauled his abdomen open and got 8000 points, saving the princess.

"Thank you, Mario!" she exclaimed, as Mario received a kiss on the nose.

"Bwahahaha, I'm not done yet! I still have my giant for—AAAAGH! OH GOD! OH GOD WHY! HELP! GET A DOCTOR, SOMEONE!" Bowser squealed. Apparently having your organs spill out hurts a lot more than being pelted with fireballs. Bowser was picked up by two Koopa Troopas and hauled off to the Koopa Klinic.

Bowser woke up in a sweat, and looked down to see that he had been healed by some Magikoopa Medics.

"That putrid plumber! I'm sick of him ruining my plans to capture Peach! Why? Why can't I just have her to myself?" the Koopa King wailed.

"Ugh, I just can't win, can I?"

After some more self deprecation and loneliness, Bowser received a call on his cell phone. It was King Boo.

"Ugh, I freakin' hate that guy… But I could use someone to talk to..."

Bowser hesitated, then picked up the phone.

"King Boo! So good to hear from you!"

"Yeah yeah, cut the shtick, fatty. I could hear you sobbing from here!" King Boo cackled.

"What? B-But that's impossible! We live like a mile away!" Bowser panicked.

"I didn't hear you sobbing, you dolt, but now I know you were, haha! I saw that Mario creep running off with your girl. Again. That's like the 4th time this week, dude. What's going on?" King Boo asked.

"Stupid Mario keeps getting all kinds of new fursuits, but all I ever get to do is jump around a bit, turn giant, then get my ass handed to me. It's just not fair!" Bowser lamented.

"Maybe if you didn't put things like giant pits and lava pools in your castles, that crap wouldn't happen." The ghostly king replied.

"Oh, man, you're probably right, but I can't help myself! I've got to!" Bowser cried.

"Okay, okay, maybe I went a bit too far. I know you need your switches that kill you instantly… And it's not like I'm too fond of those dreadful Mario Brothers either. Hey, howsabout a night on the town to get you better, huh? Nothing like a drink or two with some friends to cheer you up, right?" King Boo offered.

Bowser was elated at the idea. "Y-Yeah, you're right. I'm just a bit stressed, is all. Nothing like a break to get back into things!"

"See you at the bar, then."

"Maybe he's not so bad…" thought Bowser.

Bowser and King Boo were slammed. They waddled out of the bar, bottles in hand, and got into Bowser's Badwagon.

"Hey, hey, man, are you… are you okay to drive?" King Boo slurred.

Despite definitely being in no state to drive, Bowser insisted that he was okay to drive.

King Boo couldn't help but notice the giant speaker system in the back of Bowser's sick wheels.

"Blast the tunes, man. I want to get lost in the music. I wanna just get lost."

Bowser cranked up the music on his Badwagon, and the two started to sing together to the beat.

"BEEEEEEEEWAP BAP BADAP BAP! " The two drunks sang to the music through the whole ride. Bowser had apparently gotten too into the music, and didn't realize that he had been crashed into a ditch for like eighteen hours, probably because he had passed out about 20 minutes into their joyride around the Mushroom Kingdom.

"Uuuugh… What happened?" Bowser muttered. He found himself hungover from his night of partying. He looked next to him to find King Boo passed out in the passenger seat. He nudged his drinking buddy, seeing if he'd wake up.

"Wha? Where… Dammit, Bowser! We've crashed in the middle of nowhere!" King Boo shouted, causing Bowser to hold his head in pain.

"Hey, not so loud! And I see that now…" Bowser looked up to see he had received a ticket from the Koopatrol.

"What the Hell? I can't get ticketed! I own this damn country!" Bowser raged, not caring about his current state. "Who do I go to to pay this off? Myself?! How do I pay myself?!"

"Eh, whatever. It's been fun, Boozy." And just like that, King Boo was gone. Bowser decided that he would drink more responsibly from now on, which he didn't.