Shouldn't

I am the Goblin King, Sworn of the High King, and of the Oaths I made, there is a list of things I should not do.

I should not revolt against my liege.

I should not mistreat the Goblins, save when necessary to hoodwink a Runner.

I should not subjugate the Labyrinth. This one is common sense – the Labyrinth is more than capable of usurping me, or any other monarch, and ruling himself.

I should not allow the Runner to reclaim the Wished Away without being thoroughly tested.

I should not revenge myself on a Runner who wins.

I should not harass a Runner during their remaining Time if they win before their Time finishes.

I should not take disproportionate revenge on those who conspire against me. This clause was added in after several – mishaps.

I should not toy with the politics and governments of the Aboveground folk. This, too, was added retroactively.

In fact, there are many added after my first Swearing.

I should not release the Manticore upon the Court.

I should not reorder time so that the Runner never Ran, and thus forfeits the Wished Away.

I should not move the tectonic plates Above.

I should not shift the River within the Further Below.

I should not reorganize the entirety of the Underground because I am bored.

I should not do the abovementioned because I dispute the borders of the neighboring country.

I should not do the abovementioned for any reason, as a matter of fact, and I should Deeply Regret it if any such incidents in the future are found to be of my design.

I should not pillage in other kingdoms, nor should I allow or encourage my Goblins to do so.

I should not murder an entire dynasty, no matter how much they may deserve it.

I should not annex neighboring countries.

I should not set up protectorates. All countries are protectorates of the High King, and not open to my manipulation.

I should not establish tributaries, either.

I should not 'suggest' my Goblins colonize the Further Below.

I should not tamper with Aboveground machines of war.

I should not plant the seeds of chaos in mortal minds; they are more than capable of doing so themselves.

I should not take advantage of an addled mortal.

I should not, I should not, I should not. The list seems never-ending.

And yet, as I watch the delightfully bewildered girl standing before me, searching for the Right Words, I can feel another Oath in the making. I tempt her, I pretend to beg, and she falters; in that moment, I sow the seeds in her mind – not of chaos, which is forbidden to me, but of memory, dreams, a hint of madness, a touch of obsession. It is not chaos. Not quite.

She impresses me, pushing on despite my meddling. But my magic is there, and though she wins, though the Castle shatters, she is irrevocably branded. She is mine to toy with now, even after she returns Above. I transform into an owl, quickly, lest my triumph show, and I screech, because it is the closest sound to a laugh that an owl's throat can produce.

Oh, there will be a new Oath. I can feel the beginnings of it, the beginnings of a Summons to Court for it, even as I whirl through the floating debris. I return the girl to her home; I restore her brother to her as an afterthought. I leave her there for now, and allow her allies to join her. It is for her safekeeping. I have a new toy. It would not do to let her break so soon.

I leave a shade of myself outside her window, watching her, even as I glide over the High King's Court.

I should not, I should not, I should not. I am tired of should not. I have broken some Oaths. There will be consequences; I knew this.

But I haven't broken my Oaths.

I have… bent them, perhaps beyond repair.

Words have power, true, especially Oaths. But individual words, each and every single one of them, have only so much power behind them. The binding word in the Oaths was 'should'. Had I taken it in the High King's sense, of what ought to be done, I would be well and truly bound. But I, I take 'should' as… a polite request.

There will be a brief power struggle. My Oaths will be rewritten. I do not care – I can adapt; I can find another way to get into mischief. I have infinite time, near-infinite magic, and about the same intellect. And the substandard moral scruples of a cur, the High King tells me. What do I care?

I shouldn't care what they say. I follow this statute

She won, according to my Oaths. But I have won, by every other standard. And now I have a spoiled, malleable, melodramatic, loyal, forgiving, daydreaming, fascinating mortal, for as long as she amuses me.

I wonder how long that will be?

Hob: She shouldn't toy with other peoples' characters...

Quill: That's more of a suggestion, I should think.