This is the first time I write Narusasu.
I have mixed feelings about it, meaning that I have my own vision of it, that it's different and darker from most fans'.
Also because of this I never planned to write a fic for them, my current and future writing projects being enough already, but when inspiration strikes it's impossible to ignore it.
This chapter is written with in mind, although very loosely, tumblr Narusasu month's prompt for the first week, "Recovery".
(I blame Moonsuke for this...btw happy birthday! Hope you'll like this~)
This is supposed to happen before the events described in "In The Dark".
It also means that this fic is dark. There's the whole unhealthy pack: obsessive/possessive feelings, guilt tripping and emotional manipulation, also dark-ish non graphic smut, with a clear distinction between top and bottom. So if you're looking for a romantic fic or a cute one where they call the other with nicknames, or something with a positive outlook on their relationship (or on Konoha!), you might not want to read this.
It should not even be specified but I always supported Sasuke and will always do, so anything contradicting this in my writing, is the character's opinion and not mine.
I also specify that I like dark Naruto and I like dark Narusasu, so even though I'm aganst the ending, I like its dark potential. (I am not talking about canon pairings. to say that I hate those is an understatement...)
More notes below.
Part 1: Moonlight
I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right (She Wants Revenge, Tear You Apart)
Jiraiya used to complain that the first sign of getting old was waking up at night for no reason and not being able to fall back asleep. For Naruto, this only happened after the war.
The first time he wakes up to an insistent light shining right in his face.
Although he is used to sleep in a room with no window blinds, it's the first full moon since their return.
The room he shares with Sasuke is located in the oldest and most secluded area of the hospital, a measure taken for both their convenience and the other patients' safety, should they fight again, as Tsunade snarkily told them.
He turns around, changing position, unsuccessfully waiting for sleep to return.
In the meantime the light has changed direction and target: Naruto waits for Sasuke to wake up, even more annoyed as he was, but instead he keeps sleeping soundly.
Maybe it's because the Sage of Six Paths bestowed part of his power under the form of a moon marking on him, Naruto muses, looking at his own palm first, where the sun marking was, then at his friend, whose pale skin seems almost translucent under the silvery light.
It's not a good sign: while Kyuubi's chakra and his strong Senju body speed up Naruto's recovery, Sasuke doesn't have the same stamina and chakra reserve.
The blonde makes a mental note of joking about this tomorrow, when the nurse will come for their medicines, three for him and five for Sasuke. He'll call him Sasuke-chan, because he's delicate and needs more medicines, he grins to himself, also remembering that he admitted his loss, which means that he admitted that Naruto is stronger than him. Why couldn't he say it out loud though? Most of it all, why wait for tomorrow?
The blond gets off the bed and grabs Sasuke's sheets, ready to take them off and yell some nonsense to startle him awake, but he stops, because the boy makes a pained sound. Then another, then one more, wincing and furrowing his brows, opening his mouth as if he were about to say something but only letting out muffled whimpers that seem only the smallest portion of the agony he's in.
At times Naruto shakes, feeling occasional jolts of electricity in his severed arm. When he asked Sasuke about his arm instead, the Uchiha described the pain of his wound like a constant, burning, liquid ache that seemed to creep up his bones and seep through his skin. Tsunade explained that it's because Kyuubi's chakra is toxic to those who aren't its vessel, like an acid melting whatever it touches.
Kakashi once said that it's a common civilian belief, that whenever someone saves another's life, he's responsible for him forever, so it's only natural for him to watch over his friend.
Sitting beside him, Naruto wonders if Sasuke felt such pain every night, while he was soundly sleeping next to him.
The second time there's no light waking him up, only a dream that he forgets as soon as he opens his eyes and adjusts them to the darkness.
Outside the window there is no moonlight; inside the room the moon is asleep yet his slumber is troubled by pain and nightmares.
Hearing Sasuke's grunts and whimpers, Naruto leaves his bed and sits beside him, gently stroking his hair and whispering that he'll be ok soon, that he'll make sure of it, only going back to sleep once he calmed down.
Sasuke is really beautiful, he finds himself thinking, as he moves the bangs haphazardly covering parts of his forehead and eyes to see more of him, his high cheekbones, his thin nose, his long lashes, his slightly parted lips that move faintly as if he were talking to someone in a dream. He also finds himself wishing that someone were him.
It soon becomes a habit. Or a ritual.
During the day Sasuke doesn't sleep.
Naruto imagined that they would catch up on lost time, but the Uchiha is always quiet, mostly observing the many who visit his roommate, or the few who come for him -Kakashi and Tsunade, followed by Shizune and Sakura.
He replies to Naruto's questions and he makes sarcastic remarks when he says something stupid, but he never asks him anything or initiate a conversation.
It's not that odd though: unlike Naruto who, occasional shooting pains aside is healing so well that medics are already planning his new arm, the Uchiha looks like he's in extreme pain even when he's awake, despite he does his best to keep it to himself.
Unlike Naruto, restless because of the lack of activity, he doesn't seem to mind staying in bed, retreated in his own mind.
Naruto assumes that it's because he has no other place to stay, outside.
He also notices that his friend doesn't mind being stripped, poked and prodded by the medics either, and he assumes it's because Orochimaru and Kabuto did experiments on him. Or other things. Or both.
The thought of Sasuke being at their mercy makes the blond's blood boil.
At night, as Sasuke tosses and turns, his drug induced slumber not being enough to keep the pain away from him, Naruto lies beside him, affectionately stroking him as if he were a child having a nightmare, taking in the all the details of his beautiful face. And body, because Sasuke's movements always throw the sheets away and loosen the hospital robe, revealing his pale chest, the ridges and hollows of his stomach, and the jutting hipbones.
He always traces the scar Madara left on him.
His heart beats faster when he does; maybe it's because Sasuke could have died because of it. Maybe because he could have joined the Uchiha's side, again, like that he followed Obito and left him alone, even though he had opened his heart to him.
Maybe it's because it's a part of Sasuke's body.
He never felt anything like the uncontrollable urge that pushes his fingers towards the other's body. Resisting is impossible, so he gives in, his touch light, almost unnoticeable at first, then more confident, tracing every inch of the skin his eyes memorized so well.
Each night the urge grows stronger and hungrier, bringing along an unnamed anguish, because despite being so close they're on two different worlds, like the moon and the sun, because Naruto is not there, inside his dream and his deepest self, because despite being back he's still so distant, just like he was in the past, when he only ran away from him, and the only times he turned towards him was to kill him.
Or try to, because he never did it. He protected him instead.
Naruto remembers when he was hit by a berserk Gaara and Sasuke lunged between him and a tree trunk. It was an unnecessary gesture, as he wouldn't have been fatally injured anyway, but it spoke volumes about how selfless his friend was.
Naruto still remembers the feeling of his back being cushioned by Sasuke's bony chest.
He still remembers every time their bodies came into contact.
How despite being a little taller Sasuke seemed so weightless in his arms, after having shielded him from Haku's needles.
How his fists hit hard against his skull and mouth and teeth, and they hit harder against his gut, flexed to minimize the impact of Naruto's pummeling, until, too tired to control his body's reactions, the blond's punch hit him deep, making him spit a copious amount of blood.
How his body was warmer as if he were running a fever, when he pinned him to the ground, trying to change his mind about leaving the village to follow Orochimaru.
Naruto felt so dejected when he woke up in a hospital room like this one, alone, after failing to retrieve him.
He tells himself that he didn't fail this time. That he made it, he really brought him back. That Sasuke is here, beside him, his pale body asleep in the darkness, yet he can't shake away the fear and a blind anger creeping over him, as if his friend might leave again, as if he weren't even there, as if his dreams were taking him far away again, and the only thing he can do is ground him with his weight so he won't be escape, so he won't be taken away from all the things he followed instead of staying here with him.
Even if it was just one thing. Or rather, one person. Itachi, whom his life revolved around in the past, like the Moon to the Earth, whom he's afraid he might follow again, even in his dreams, if he doesn't weigh him down, keeping him pressed against the mattress, making him gasp at the sudden contact.
He could be less forceful but he hasn't woken up after all, Naruto tells himself straddling Sasuke's abdomen.
Besides, it's for his own good. He's just taking care of him; he saved his life so he's responsible for him forever.
It feels almost the same as that time at the Valley of the End, yet it's also different, as despite his lithe tautness, his body is relaxed.
Sasuke shakes and squirms slightly, Naruto can't tell if it's for the pain or a nightmare or both. It surely isn't because of him, he reassures himself, the Uchiha's movements beneath him making him feel something unexpected.
What's even more different is that this time Sasuke isn't trying to push him off, thus Naruto enjoys every moment as he traces the boy's collarbone, his smooth chest, his pink nipples, and the more he touches the more he wants to touch, so he brushes over his stomach and sides, lowering his waistband until he sees his pubic hair, his hand going up and down from his navel to his neck, as he rests Sasuke's unresponsive groin.
Naruto is hard, instead, because of his friend's tossing and turning beneath him, because of his pained expression and his parted lips and the sounds that escape them, and controlling himself is impossible because all he can see is the unaware body lying beneath him, all he can feel is the need for release, all he can do is stroke himself, pumping his cock while sitting atop his one and only friend, his robe around the tip so not to soil him.
It happens every night.
Naruto crawls out of his bed and on top of Sasuke, each time bolder than the previous one.
With the precarious balance that comes using only one hand, aroused by the movements and sounds of his troubled sleep, he sloppily grinds against him, his mouth brushing over his jaw and neck, only careful not to leave signs, and when he's done he returns to his bed, finally able to sleep.
Moonlight incites dark passions like a cold flame, Jiraiya used to say.
These words used to sound like babbling to Naruto, like every other piece of poetry; now they sound like a confession, for it all started because of a moonbeam.
During the day nothing much happens.
Naruto is careful not to stare at Sasuke for too long, because there are moments, when he stretches or cranes his neck or changes clothes, that he can't help but compare his muscles twitching and flexing in the sun, with the way they appear under the moon's silvery light.
He feels powerful because he has a secret life involving the one whom he chased after for years, until they fought and he finally admitted defeat, thus meaning that he is the strongest.
He feels powerful because it's almost as if he owns Sasuke.
Knowing something that his former rival doesn't almost makes up for the fact that Sasuke isn't really in his grasp yet, because no matter how many times he masturbates over him, the Uchiha is somewhere else.
When they are allowed to walk around the hospital Naruto almost drags Sasuke out by force. There are beautiful plants in the garden, and many trees that make a pleasant shadow.
The roof brings back nostalgic memories.
It's Sasuke who speaks first.
"You didn't notice? Your rasengan was stronger than my chidori. I had lost to you...even that time." He admits, sincerely, the first time they climb the stairs, before whispering an apology.
They're on the rooftop again when Sakura joins them, followed by Kakashi -his mask conveniently hiding a certain apprehension because he remembers too- to announce that Naruto could be dismissed soon, if he agrees to come to the hospital every day, for his treatment.
The blond is ecstatic but he demands that Sasuke leaves with him.
It took him so long to bring Sasuke back, that he's not going to leave without him.
It took him so long to bring Sasuke back, that he's not going to live without him.
There's nothing to worry about, they'll live together, he'll tend after him, he assures, not giving the other a chance to reply, or a saying in the matter.
Sasuke shrugs when he says so, but he doesn't object because he, too, remembers that old mission with Team 7, and what Naruto mentions about civilians thinking that whenever someone saves another's life, he's responsible for him forever.
He remembers it differently, but he went through so much after that long past day that he trusts his friend's memory better.
Kakashi intervenes: Sasuke's conditions are still too serious to leave. Besides, for Konoha and its neighbouring countries he is still considered a criminal whose case must be discussed. It's better for him to stay in the hospital.
Sasuke calmly states that he already figured that out, but Naruto protests against the unfair treatment his friend is destined to face. He promised Itachi that he would take care of Sasuke, and he promised Sasuke that he would help him change the village, and he never goes back on his word.
That night, more restless and worried than usual, he straddles Sasuke's hips and runs his fingers over his ribs, not noticing that the whimpers escaping the boy's lips and his shaking are stronger than usual.
Or maybe he does notice.
Nevertheless he feels that he just needs to steady him down, to ground him into the mattress -and into reality, although he doesn't know, as asleep as he is.
Sasuke really needs him. He's all alone, he has no one else but him, and even Itachi knew, that's why he entrusted him with his care, and Naruto intends to honor his promise to the older Uchiha. He will protect him, he won't let anyone hurt him.
He won't let anyone take Sasuke away from him either, Naruto repeats in his mind, trying to steady himself down too, even though he feels that he's floating adrift in a whirlpool of fear and anger, every time he looks at Sasuke's wide shut eyes, a constant reminder that his friend is somewhere else, so far away that his hands can't reach him.
Until a pair of onyx black eyes suddenly open beneath him.
Sasuke wakes up abruptly. The information Kakashi provided and their implication on his future goal weighed on his mind, and together with the nightmares and the usual pain in his stub they chased him out of the semblance of rest where he retreats every night.
His eyes dart back and forth, sharingan spinning in his right eye, his breath short, his fist clutching the sheet.
It takes him a little while to realize that the weight pressing his body into the mattress is real.
It takes him a little more to realize that the one sitting on top of him isn't a nightmarish creature, even though there's an eerie reddish glow around it, even if its pupils are inhuman vertical slits, even if its chakra is just as heavy as his body.
Feelings of powerlessness and fear always summoned Kyuubi's chakra to protect Naruto, whether he wanted it or not. Sasuke remembers seeing the blond in that form, completely shielded by heavy red chakra, crouching and ready to pounce on him, a feral grin as if he would enjoy tearing him apart.
It's not a monster, it's his one and only friend, the one who didn't let him sink into the eternal darkness and solitude that he was ready to face, in order to achieve the justice and peace that Itachi dreamed of.
Sasuke wouldn't have minded dying by Naruto's hand, after having admitted his loss, after having cut off his arm. Yet Naruto spared him.
He even promised he'd help him change the world, and he trusted him, because he was alone and Naruto showed him how Itachi had trusted him, and his brother was perfect so he trusted him too.
"What are you doing?"
He asks, with a calm that not many would show, were they in his position.
Probably because he's used to be stripped and poked and prodded, Naruto thinks -or rather, feels, as a sensory impulse more than a rational thought.
The very idea of Sasuke being at the mercy of those beasts turns him into an even beastlier creature, a flare of chakra growing his tails out.
Ot maybe it just happens at the idea of him being watched and touched by hands that aren't his own.
Chakra fangs dig into Sasuke's side. Naruto doesn't realize. Sasuke doesn't react.
"I…I don't want you do leave."
"Leave for where? I'm not even allowed to leave the hospital...And what does it have to do with this? "
He replies, faster than his usual, worry about the future seeping through his words.
He doesn't care about his future. Only about his goal, that Naruto promised to help him with.
When the other doesn't speak, but doesn't stop staring at him either, he adds:
"Besides, you defeated me, Naruto."
Isn't it enough? Sasuke wonders.
When he's done talking he squirms, a clear sign of wanting the other to move.
"Now get off me."
He says, looking straight in Naruto's eyes.
He tries to push him away but the blond grabs his wrist. The sudden movement makes him lose balance though, so he ends up pinning Sasuke by the arm, leaning heavily against his body. It's impossible, for the Uchiha, to not notice that the other is hard.
"Since the day you left I only thought of bringing you back. It was my first and last thought every single day. Even when everyone else just wanted to forget about you, even when they wanted me to move on I just couldn't."
Sasuke tilts his head slightly, observing the blonde who seems off, somehow, at the same time unfocused and too focused.
"I'm so happy that you're back that I succeeded, bringing you back. Sometimes I feel like my heart might burst out because now you're here, next to me. It's like living together. I worked so hard for this. I wanted you back so badly..."
He smiles. Sasuke would be reminded of their past in Team 7, if only he weren't showing signs of Kyuubi's form, turning his smile into a lopsided grin, especially when it changes again.
"But still...even though you're so close to me I feel like you're not here with me..."
His look becomes darker, in a way that the Uchiha can't understand.
"I really want to be close to you, Sasuke. I really need to be close to you."
Naruto growls, grinding against the other's lower stomach. Sasuke's instinctive reaction would be to glare and push him away, but he stays quiet instead.
"Why?"
He asks, tilting his head. Naruto stops, trying to look for the right words.
"Your brother entrusted you to me...He thought I would be able to help you...to save you, and I made it. I saved you and now I'm responsible for you forever...but I can't take care of you if I'm not close to you..."
"Why are you doing this?"
Sasuke asks again, this time visibly frustrated.
Why is Naruto mentioning Itachi? Is it like during their final fight, when Sasuke explained his ideas and he said that he was wrong and that he misunderstood his brother?
"Because...it feels good," Naruto finally replied, grinding against the other again, his eyes blue again, Kyuubi's chakra weaker but still there, its tails well visible behind him, "Because it makes me feel like I'm closer to you...and you are...the one I care about the most..."
Naruto cares about him, so much that he intends to take care of him. So he said.
He even told Kakashi and Sakura, and in doing so he mentioned that civilian thing, that whenever someone saves another's life, he's responsible for him forever.
Sasuke remembers it differently: he's sure that Kakashi said that whenever someone saves another's life, he belongs to him forever.
Trusting his friend's memory, like he did at first, seemed a bad choice, as he had always been terrible both with notions and passwords.
Besides does he really matter? Shouldn't it matter more that Naruto worked hard to get him back, that he never gave up on him, that he cares about him?
His life belongs to Naruto anyway, because he defeated him, because he spared him, because he picked him up when he just wanted to die, because he promised to help him end all injustice.
"Naruto...will you keep your promise?"
He asks, his look determined.
"Of course! I never go back on my word. Especially to you...I told you, haven't I? If you suffer, I suffer too."
Naruto looks just as determined. And strong, his square jaw slightly tense, like his muscular chest, whose earthy tone takes an unusual shade under the faint moonlight, and his flexed arm, still gripping his wrist.
Kyuubi's chakra finally reined in, Sasuke wonders if his brother entrusted him to Naruto because he's strong, or because he cares about him -and if it makes any difference.
"Then...go on, Naruto."
Sasuke says, turning his head.
His voice is barely audible, yet the blond hears him distinctly, enough to roll his hips again, as his mouth attacks the Uchiha's throat.
His body getting used to the medications, Sasuke's sleep becomes so much lighter that he wakes up every time Naruto climbs on his bed, with a piercing look and confused desires, trying to reach his very soul, touching him all over, kissing and biting and licking and sucking.
Sasuke lies beneath him, open and pliant, at times observant, others absent, like a beautiful doll whose gaze is fixed on the distant horizon.
Whenever this happens Naruto drowns into the whirlpool of sadness and anger and confusion that he frantically struggles to escape from, grabbing him sloppily and turning his head towards him, clawing at his waist and hips, grinding into him harder, ramming into him deeper, because he can't stand when his friend doesn't look at him, because for years he worked hard to get him back, because they fought a war side by side, because they fought each other and he won, because he's responsible for his life now, but he can't take good care of him if he doesn't have his complete focus.
Sasuke's body isn't as responsive and eager as Naruto's, maybe because of the drugs he's given, maybe because he's been through so much that certain things just aren't in his mind, yet he moves in synch with his friend and arches his back against him.
The deeper contact always drives the blond crazy with lust.
Or bloodlust, that drives him in a frenzy, trying to elicit any kind of reaction, of lust or pain it doesn't matter, as long as Sasuke acknowledges him as the one who's doing that to him, as the one who breaks every boundary between them, as the only one able to reach him. Or to reach deeper into him.
"Why do you let me do this?"
Naruto asks him once, his fingers intertwined with Sasuke's, pressing his hand against the bed's headboard.
"Isn't it what you want?"
Sasuke readily replies, his expression unreadable as he looks up towards the blond boy looming over him, his knees encasing his shoulders.
Once again, Naruto's look becomes focused and unfocused at the same time.
"Answer me!"
He screams, his pupil turning into slits, a sign that Kyuubi's chakra is flaring back to life.
"Because I lost to you..."
Sasuke sighs.
He lost indeed. Naruto's words destroyed his arguments, just like his blows destroyed his body, until he almost bled to death. They both did, but instead of hating him Naruto reassured him, saying that despite his ideas were wrong he would help him create peace, as long as it fit Naruto's idea of it, but it didn't matter because peace was peace, he thought back then, as tired and confused and overwhelmed as he was, by all the emotions that he had let out during their fight, so much that his rival's words seemed to make more sense than ever. They seemed bright, like the sun rising over them, like his friend's hair.
They seemed to announce a fresh new start, like the clear blue sky above them, like his friend's eyes.
"Because it takes the focus away from the pain..."
He whispers, looking away, as if he were embarrassed to be in such pain, while Naruto is recovering so quickly.
It's a nostalgic feeling, somehow, not being able to keep up with someone else.
"Because you promised..."
He adds, a faint smile when Naruto nods to confirm his promise.
He looks mature and strong and reliable, as he does, Sasuke thinks. It doesn't matter if his feral side is threatening him, it doesn't matter if his grip is so strong that he can't feel his hand, almost.
"This is why. You can do whatever you want to me."
It's a complete and utter submission. It's not exactly the reaction that Naruto wants, but maybe it's even better, something inside him says.
It's hard to tell if it's Kyuubi or his own self.
Sasuke ends his explanation by parting his lips for Naruto's erect, impatient cock, directed towards him.
The Uchiha lets the other fuck his mouth relentlessly and mercilessly, his hand nailed against the headboard, his head hitting the bars over and over.
It's a strange feeling, being caught between a warm, muscular body and the cold metal, being taken care of but at the time struggling to breathe.
Because Naruto cares about him, that's why he tries so hard to reach him, that's why he gets so loud and violent when he doesn't react to him. It's only logical, after all the time he spent trying to get him back, Sasuke tells himself.
His black messy hair brush the jinchuuriki's stomach; Naruto would love to stroke them, he would love to hold Sasuke's head as he rams his cock deep into his mouth but he only has one arm and he doesn't want to let go of the other's hand.
What if he escapes if he does?
He'll soon have his arm back though. He can't wait for that moment, when he'll finally be able to hold the Uchiha properly.
When he comes, he exhales Sasuke's name, like every time. He can't help it, when his friend is so enticing, his beauty so natural and perfect, his lithe body looking like it could break under him even though he knows its strength very well, his pitch black eyes that seem to suck him in, yet repel it when he gets too close, even when they're watery because he just deep throated him.
Naruto licks a pearly droplet on Sasuke's mouth, tasting himself.
It's not just himself. It's the taste of having Sasuke back, of having him for himself.
It's the taste of owning Sasuke.
He gets off the bed and brings him some water, not without admiring, again, the sight of the pale boy looking exhausted and vulnerable, like every time after he's done with him, and like every time it's him who readjusts the Uchiha's night clothes or pulls the sheets on him.
Not that he minds: he made a promise to Itachi and he intends to keep it.
Besides, he loves to take care of Sasuke. He loves to be responsible for his life forever.
It's almost as if Sasuke belongs to him.
Being in a secluded area of the hospital, with seals outside their room to not let their chakra outside, is safer for other patients and convenient for them but it doesn't mean they're completely free, or undetectable.
Today Naruto is the village hero, tomorrow he'll become the Seventh Hokage: he's too important to be left alone and without surveillance with the rebellious Uchiha, who despite having helped in the war is still an S-rank criminal, with an order to be killed on sight.
Thus Kakashi sees everything.
He doesn't do anything about it though; he found and then lost his best friend again during the war, and once back in Konoha mourning and regret start all over again.
Besides, Tsunade beat him to it.
Seeing the extent of Naruto's obsession, she understands that if she doesn't take action the boy won't be able to fulfill his dream, the same that Nawaki and Dan had. She can't let him screw up his life for someone like Sasuke, with whom she would deeply empathize, if she wasn't too tired to care about anyone who's not her family. Or almost as such.
Thus, instead of revealing the truth about the Uchiha massacre, her latest act as Hokage is authorizing Sasuke's imprisonment.
She'll lose Naruto's trust but his safety is more important.
After all, Itachi did the same for Sasuke.
Kakashi too saw the extent of Naruto's obsession, so he doesn't object the Fifth Hokage's decision, even though he figured out a better solution.
As her successor he will pardon the Uchiha anyway, although not immediately.
He must fix Naruto first.
Make him understand that Sasuke's jail time is necessary to placate the allied countries' hostility against him, and to prove that Konoha is a strong village and so are its rulers, not just the Sixth Hokage Hatake Kakashi, but also the Seventh, Uzumaki Naruto.
Using the boy's need to be acknowledged by everyone, make him understand that he is the village hero now, that everyone looks up to him, and surely he doesn't want them to think he's weaker than Sasuke, especially not after he defeated him and brought him back.
He doesn't want them to think that he isn't able to keep his friend in check: when another Hokage failed to do so, the result was the massacre. And Sasuke. So if Naruto really wants to help him he must leave things be until he becomes Hokage himself.
Or rather, if he wants his childhood dream to become a reality, if he wants to help Sasuke change the system, he mustn't talk about the massacre or complain about his friend in jail.
Shift his focus on studying to become a proper Hokage.
On getting his arm back. And his sanity. A part of it, at least.
He doesn't need to be perfectly sane, only to look like he is. No strong shinobi really is. They just learn to keep their dark side hidden to the world.
Kakashi knows well that Naruto's obsession will never go away, but he can live with it just fine.
He just needs to understand that things are no longer the way they used to be.
He is no longer the cursed boy that everyone hated and Sasuke is no longer the prodigy that everyone admired. In fact, it's the opposite.
Most of it all, no matter what happens, Sasuke will never really leave him.
Sasuke belongs to Naruto, who marked his body with his nails and teeth, fangs and claws, who marked his mind with his words, and his heart with his needs.
Sasuke belongs to Naruto, he submitted out of guilt yet he did it willingly. Besides, has Naruto ever cared about reasons?
Sasuke belongs to him, that's all that matters.
He will always belong to him.
After all, like civilians say, once whenever someone saves another's life, that life belongs to him forever.
I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart (She Wants Revenge, Tear You Apart)
A/N:
So it was Sasuke who remembered that thing Kakashi said correctly, not Naruto… I like recurring elements very much, that concept was one. It's also a way to show Sasuke being slowly brainwashed, even though in this fic it's way lighter than in In The Dark. It's a sort of gaslighting. He is being guilt tripped, so he tends to value his memory less than Naruto's.
I think that Naruto manipulated Sasuke a lot during the final fight. Maybe not on purpose but he did it anyway, for how I see it.
Speaking of which, my view on Narusasu isn't popular, both for its dynamic and their characterization.
As a Sasuke fan who supported all his actions and ideas since the beginning, I don't see him as "fallen in the darkness". I see him as pure and honest, using dark means to achieve his goals if needs be. Instead, I see Naruto as not that selfless. Not at all, actually. Just like the yin and yang symbol, Sasuke appears dark but he's bright and pure inside, and Naruto appears bright but he has a darkness inside.
To me his darkness is possessiveness over Sasuke, and need to be in control, not to mention his need to be liked by everyone, that makes him seem way more shallow than Sasuke, who's extremely loyal instead.
He also has an instinctual and feral side as it's shown many times. I wanted to capture that side of him, not to show him as malicious but to show his attraction for Sasuke growing into an obsession, in a sort of pure way, although his actions aren't exactly pure. A darker version of Twinge's "Little Beast of the Forest" sort of. Or of Goku and Sanzo from Gensoumaden Saiyuki. Goku in beastly form always reminds me of Naruto.
I see Naruto as a selfish person, very self centered because he has been alone too long and without guidance he makes everything about himself, only able to relate to others through similarities. Unlike Sasuke, who's never focused on himself, only on his own goals which are never about himself but for Itachi and the clan, and then, the world.
I have mixed feelings about this pairing. I only like a certain kind of Narusasu, I dislike sasunaru and I also dislike them "switching" because it's a dynamic I don't see as IC, as I explained in my blog:
avenger(-)hawk. (/)im(_)possibilities
avenger(-)hawk. (/)alovethatismorethanlove
I was drawn to NS quite early in the manga, although I preferred Kakasasu. I mostly loved (and still love) artists like Emi10/Rankai, Twinge and especially Engawaken, whose very dark stories with a desperate and possessive Naruto, and an apathetic broken Sasuke, resonated with me the most. Then I dropped this pairing because I preferred Itasasu and I still do, or rare pairings. The ending made me hate it for a long time, because of the way Naruto promised Sasuke to help him but then he dropped him like a kid bored with his toy.
When I watched the final fight animated I had even stronger feelings about Sasuke being emotionally manipulated by Naruto, trying to express his points in the logical way he always uses to express and enact his plans, and expected the same from Naruto, who instead pointed out his pain and emotional needs, and even worse, used Itachi against him, hinting that Sasuke didn't even know his own brother, unlike Naruto himself.
Then ep.479 showed Sasuke in jail while Naruto basking in popularity. It angered me but it also confirmed my opinion, as to me it looked exactly like Naruto taking advantage of Sasuke's troubled emotional state, guilt tripping him and dragging him back, where more guilt trip happened and then he was imprisoned and isolated. In this optic it's not even that weird that once he's out he doesn't speak of justice or Itachi anymore. It totally looks like he has been brainwashed. Even because of the way Kakashi lectures him before he leaves, and how he's surprised to see Naruto greeting him, as if they weren't best friends, as if he weren't worthy of Naruto's time.
Anyway, on another hand this looked really intriguing to me, really dark and gloomy, just like I see their relationship, just like I see Sasuke's personality after the ending, and Naruto's and Kakashi's. That's why I wrote In the Dark, that's why I love fanarts with that scenario and that's why overall I liked Shinden, because Sasuke looked just like I've always seen him, broken beyond repair, never forgetting Itachi.
I think that he would only submit to partners he considers strong enough, be it for love or to gain strength, or out of guilt. I also think that Sasuke is a masochist. In a pure, naive way, like I explained in my blog.
In other words, he is influenced by Itachi's actions. Itachi hurt him but it was to protect him, and he accepted this, because he loves Itachi more than anyone in the world and because he considers Itachi perfect. To me this means he would also fall for manipulations where the manipulator acted like it's for his own good, because it would subconsciously remind him of Itachi. Just like he fell for Naruto's promises and didn't hate him for not keeping them.
I don't think he's a second Hokage figure or something. He looks completely subordinate to Naruto in Gaiden, and he looks submitted to him in Shinden, so what I see is that he has been guilt tripped so badly that he thinks he was wrong all along, and that he must live to atone for his sins. From a dark narrative point of view this is very intriguing. It's the narusasu I like, actually.
As a die hard Kakasasu shipper I hate to make him look bad, but I was inspired by canon, where Kakashi did nothing to help Sasuke, instead he lectured him with no empathy at all, making me think that he had a big part in his brainwashing (also see my darkfic In The Dark). Same for Tsunade, I like her but in canon she disappeared completely and Naruto even talked kind of ill about her, thus making me imagine a rift between them.
I think that Sasuke admires and respects strength, and that in a pairing contest he is attracted by it. Strength is what he admired as a kid, seeing his father and Itachi, and desired it, so that he would be worthy of being beside them, and strength is what he sought growing up, to achieve the goals thrown upon him. I headcanon him as having a low self esteem so he trains to improve himself, not to surpass others. he's not as competitive as some see him, unlike other character, even Naruto who wanted to surpass Sasuke instead.
Sasuke first thought Naruto wasn't strong, then he developed a complex against him because he was getting strong in a short time and Sasuke's progress was slower so not enough to have his revenge.
Jiraiya's quote comes from a writer called Ranpo Edogawa. The entire version is: "This is what I am talking about: the bewitching power of moonlight. Moonlight incites dark passions like a cold flame, making hearts burning with the intensity of phosphorus."
I referenced canon a lot, like Sasuke associating Naruto to Itachi, even though I disagree with that. Also, here Sasuke doesn't mention Naruto saving him because he says so in ch. 699/ep.479, and the fic takes place earlier. "In The Dark" is closer to that timeline instead.
I wrote the ending in a similar way to In The Dark's, thus being inspired by A Tale Of Two Cities, sort of.
This fic takes place before In The Dark (so also before What He Wanted). I'm going to make it a two shot, so stay tuned, I guess.