Passion Play.
Mitsuru x Kokoro fanfic by: Blue T.
Smut Warning.
She wasn't sure if the nervousness that had her trembling slightly could be felt by the people beside her. Yet, despite the fear of the unknown, Kokoro knew this was something she really wanted to do.
"Gina would be seeing us soon." Her pink haired friend looked at her with contemplative eyes, but her smile was gentle, her words as unintrusive as possible.
"Just tell me something."
Kokoro looked at her with questioning blue eyes.
"Did Mitsuru pressure you to do this?"
"No!" She denied at once, then blushed hotly. "This...this is my decision."
"Just making sure. He seemed happy from what you told me, and to be honest, you're the last person I'd expect to do this." Zero Two said with a small smile. "It's your body, after all, so don't feel pressured to do anything you're not comfortable with."
Kokoro looked down at her lap, her cheeks a wild red color. "He didn't say anything, but, I...I think I'd feel more confident if..."
Zero Two held up her hands with a gentle laugh. "You don't have to explain anything. I'm just making sure that this is your decision, that's all."
"Thank you Zero Two."
Just then the receptionist called her name. Kokoro took a deep breath and with one encouraging smile from her friend, followed a lady dressed in white into the room.
"So, this is your first time? Not trying to scare you, dear, it's not completely pain-free. But I'll do my best to make you comfortable." Gina said as she donned a surgical mask on, then disposable gloves. She was an attractive brunette in her mid-thirties, her cheery brown eyes and ready smiles put Kokoro at ease at once. "Just lie on the table when you're ready."
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Kokoro said quietly, more to herself than the other woman as she unbuttoned her jeans and pushed it along with her panties down her knees.
While she wasn't necessarily uncomfortable being naked with other women, none has really closely examined her private areas...except her boyfriend and her gynecologist. Gina would be the third.
Kokoro donned the gown Gina provided her with, a part of her wanted to bolt out of the door, the apprehension to go through with the procedure was building up to near unbearable levels. The other part chided her for being such a wuss. Biting her lip, Kokoro resolutely marched towards the table before all her courage deserted her.
"I'll have to give you a prewax trim, leaving about one-fourth of an inch in length." Gina said as she looked at her pubes, her tone and easy manner quieted down Kokoro's rising embarrassment somewhat as she lay on the table.
"Umm, okay." Kokoro said in a small voice. She had the eyes of the deer caught in the high beams of a speeding car at midnight.
"Having second thoughts?" Gina asked gently. Kokoro could sense the smile behind the face mask. "You don't have to force yourself to do this, if you're not ready."
Kokoro sighed, she hasn't discussed this with Mitsuru, hadn't really thought out how he would feel about it. Was it really okay to go through with it without his prior knowledge?
She shook her head, this is more for herself than him. She can't chicken out now. "Let's do this." she said through trembling lips.
"You have a thin patch of hair, and being naturally blonde, it doesn't look that bad." Gina murmured as she began to trim the hair to its desired length with practiced, efficient movements.
"I really didn't pay much attention to my...pubes." Kokoro said shyly. "Except during Summer when I shaved before hitting the beach."
"So why did you decide for a Brazilian? A bikini wax would do the job..."
"It's just that...my boyfriend likes to go down...a lot." Kokoro blushed but was thankful for the distraction.
"It doesn't sound like he minds the patch you have." Gina smiled as she continued working on snipping tufts of hair that was a darker shade of blonde than her head.
"No...he hasn't said anything. But...I'm kinda embarrassed he...wants to put his mouth down there."
Gina laughed softly. "Oh, guys go crazy over this for some reason. This could ramp up the...um, activity. So if you're looking to dial down, this may not be a good idea." The technician winked at her.
Kokoro could only look at her with embarrassment. "I just want to look more...presentable."
"Yeah, looks like you didn't need this to grab his attention. So, it's purely aesthetic?"
"Yes...I wanted to feel more confident." Kokoro whispered, nervously licking her lips.
"That's true. And I'm not just talking about appearances. There's something liberating about waxing, some of my clients said that they felt more mature after their first session." Gina chuckled.
Kokoro smiled, then closed her eyes.
"Do you want to remove all hair or leave a landing strip?"
"I was thinking of leaving a triangle." Kokoro said softly.
"Ah, the Martini. Good choice. Some men prefer a small patch on their women too, rather than all baby smooth." Gina said, then applied a cleaning solution to her private areas. "I'll be applying this oil so the wax doesn't stick to your skin."
"Okay." Kokoro knew that this was going to hurt more than plucking her eyebrows, but she has already mentally prepared herself.
"Like sex, waxing the first time hurts the most. It should get better with each session." Gina said, then pulled a wooden tongue depressor. "Ready?"
Kokoro bit her lip and nodded.
Gina dipped the stick in the hot wax and spread it over the right side of what would soon be the stem of Kokoro's 'Martini glass'. "We'll be using hard wax on more sensitive areas like your labia." She informed Kokoro then the technician placed a strip over the wax and pulled fast and hard.
"That wasn't so bad." Kokoro gasped. Then almost jumped off the table when Gina did the left side. "That side was a lot more sensitive." Kokoro teared up.
"One side always is." Gina said with gentle eyes as she stroked her skin with a soothing motion. "Make sure the boyfriend notices, it can make things more interesting for both of you." She used a new stick with each application of wax.
The wax was warm and almost soothing, followed by a tug that made her swear never again! She teared up from the pain, though it was becoming bearable with each application.
But as Zero Two had said, once her endorphins kicked in, the pain wasn't so bad with each wax and rip, wax and rip. This went on for almost twenty minutes, all the while Gina instructed Kokoro to move her legs in certain positions. A pair of tweezers took care of whatever hair the wax hadn't removed.
"Beautiful." Gina murmured as she inspected her finished work with a discerning eye. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Kokoro couldn't believe she'd actually done it! But she felt quite proud of herself, ridiculous as it may sound, like she had passed some sort of rite of passage that only sophisticated, sleek ladies go through.
She stepped off the table and got dressed, leaving a nice tip for Gina and booking her next appointment about two to four weeks from now, depending on the length of hair regrowth, ideally, there should be at least a quarter of an inch in length, if too short or too long then the hair won't adhere to the wax properly.
As she got home, the first thing she did was drop her pants and study her new look in front of the mirror. No wonder it was all the rage with her friends.
She liked what she saw. For the first time since her teens, she actually thought of herself down there as beautiful. She liked the silky smoothness, the heightened sensation of the skin.
Smiling to herself, imagining how Mitsuru would take her new appearance, Kokoro stepped into the shower feeling like a sex goddess. Hey, a girl can dream, she thought happily, enjoying her newfound confidence.
-o-
The living room of their apartment was one of her favorite areas, especially the large windows and sliding glass door that led to the balcony overlooking the central park several floors below where the ancient Sakura tree bloomed. History stated that the tree was almost two thousand years old, and sprouted from the ashes of a brave, courageous girl no older than sixteen or seventeen, who gave up her life so humanity would have a future.
But not even the sight of the ancient tree as she looked down from the bedroom balcony could lift her heartsickness. She missed Mitsuru. This was the longest they've been apart, she should have accepted his offer to fly with him on his business trip, but she thought it wasn't necessary. How horribly wrong she was! A mistake she won't make again.
She missed him so badly, the sound of his voice, the touch of his hands, the apartment felt so empty without him. She fidgeted on the king sized bed, unable to sleep. Just two more days. Kokoro reminded herself, hugging Mitsuru's pillow, burying her nose into it, seeking his scent.
It had been too long. Okay, two weeks probably really wasn't long, but for her, it felt like fourteen years, not fourteen days.
Kokoro looked at the dark lens of the webcam, imagining Mitsuru watching her right now. She smiled and slowly reached between her legs to stroke herself, picturing his square jawline, his full mouth, broad shoulders...those piercing green eyes.
Kokoro sighed, appreciating anew the silky softness of her lady parts. Why did she wait this long to get waxed? She felt sexier, more desirable, and was already slick, her clit already swollen and hypersensitive when her finger slipped lower. Kokoro glided her fingers between the silky smooth folds and parted them, once more enjoying the heightened sensation that made her shudder with the slightest touch. Sighing with need, she began to rub the bud in slow circles and closed her eyes as her knees fell wide against the bed counterpane.
She tugged on her nipple with her free hand, imagining his fingers pinching them, his teeth nibbling her. Kokoro paused to pull her trusty vibrator from under the bed but abandoned the idea as the fantasy of Mitsuru kissing down her torso with that scorching, intense expression was enough to get her hot and bothered.
A soft sound escaped her lips as she imagined his dark head between her thighs as he began to lick, his lips firm, his tongue velvety rough against her clit as he hungrily licked her. He wanted her wetter and wetter and she'd oblige.
Her body soon tensed for orgasm, the heat seemed to gather on every inch of herself, ready to explode. She pinched her taut nipple harder, twisting it between her thumb and finger...so close, just a few more strokes...just a bit more.
It was at this point that Mitsuru called, the sound of the ring tone pulsed through the speakers, interrupting her fantasies.
Red-faced, Kokoro pressed a button to answer his call, so eager to see his face, she didn't mind that she was so close to orgasm a few seconds earlier.
"Hey, sweetheart." Mitsuru smiled at her through the screen, "were you already asleep?"
Kokoro tugged her silk nightgown down her thighs then laid back, blushing shyly as if he caught her doing something she wasn't supposed to. "I was about to."
"Sorry, it took me a while to call. I got held back for a few hours."
"It's okay." Kokoro murmured, her eyes tracing his beloved face. "I just wish you're here."
"Soon, sweetheart." His expression told her the feeling was mutual. "How was your day? Everything okay?"
"I went out with the girls." Kokoro replied, then an impish gleam entered her eyes. Now that she really got him as an audience, why not show him what he's missing since he left for business?
It was a wicked thought, Kokoro didn't know where it came from, but more surprisingly, she wanted to do it.
Maybe Mitsuru would like to watch her masturbate too.
"Want to see my new look?" She asked huskily.
Mitsuru looked at her features, as if trying to figure out if she'd cut her hair or plucked her eyebrows. "It's not a new hairstyle, is it? It still looks the same style...new nail art?"
"No..." Kokoro whispered, feeling extra wicked and sensual and loved the liberating feeling. "Here."
She pulled her silk nightgown until it bunched around her waist to show him her newly trimmed pubes.
"Oh god, baby." Mitsuru gasped. "You shaved?"
"Nuh-uh. Not shaved." She said then slowly parted her legs to show him her bare pussy lips. "It's called a Brazillian wax."
He made a choking sound, then a heated expletive.
Lying back once more, her hands traveled up to her breasts to give them a squeeze, pressing them together and kneading them hard—like she knew he wanted to do to them.
With a sigh, she pulled off her silk nightgown, twirling it on her forefinger before shooting it toward the camera. Breasts bared, she used one hand to tease her pink tipped nipples, pinching them as he had always done, her other hand descended down her torso, dipping into the soft flesh between her legs, parting the lips for him to see.
He sounded like he was calling from the car, she could hear the horn honking of other vehicles in the traffic. "Stop what you're doing, you little witch." Mitsuru grated in a hoarse voice. "I'll be home soon—you will wait for me."
"Or what?" She flicked her clit a defiant stroke that made her hips roll in pleasure. "You gonna spank my ass?"
"Do not test me, baby."
"You left me here all alone. What's a girl to do?" Stroke. "Aren't you curious to know what I was fantasizing about?" Stroke. "It's you, fucking me senseless from behind, hard, brutal like I'm your fucktoy." Stroke.
She could almost hear him grinding his teeth and she smiled wickedly as she continued to shamelessly finger herself.
"Kokoro you're not to come by your own hand." He muttered.
Oh, so bossy. She smiled at him languidly as she continued to boldly circle her clit. A part of her warned that she's playing with fire here. Since they became lovers, Mitsuru had taken full responsibility for her pleasure as well as his own, he didn't allow her to touch herself unless he's there to bring her to orgasm. But she wasn't waiting now, and the sight of it nearly had him erupting.
"Was that in a rule book or something? Sorry, I'm kinda new to this. I only had one lover you see and he always takes care of me. But he isn't here."
Her blue eyes shimmered with mischief. "Come on, play along, Mitsuru. Want to know if I'm wet. No? Then I'll have to show you." She raised her bent knees and parted them, giving him a clear view of her pussy, "See how much I want you?" Kokoro asked huskily, rubbing the slick folds with a shaky finger, playing with the stringy, wet desire.
He hissed in a breath. "Cease what you're doing right now."
"If you can't stand my disobedience—you should stop watching now because I'm about to do something bad."
"Dammit, woman, you do not want me to lose control."
"Oh, but I do!" Hearing the subtle shakiness in his voice, Kokoro decided it was time to bring out the big guns. But...can she really do it? She still couldn't believe she could act brazenly like this, it was as if another woman had taken over her body. Or maybe, she's just shedding a layer of her own inhibition.
Kokoro bit her lip and drew on her inner nympho alter ego, the one that fantasized about the kinkiest, most depraved stuff she normally wouldn't think of. Putting on her most wicked naughty girl smile, she knelt on her knees then slowly bent on her hands, presenting her curvy ass before the camera so he could see everything. "What if I did...this?" She parted her knees, then spread the cheeks of her ass wide apart with both hands, exposing herself.
"Jesus Christ."
His reaction and this bare vulnerability, this shameless exhibition made her mind spin and her body heated up, as if her arousal had just skyrocketed. Her blood thrummed in her veins, singing a silent song of triumph, of acceptance. Apparently, she was an exhibitionist—her blood throbbed from the thrill.
Highly aroused, no longer was this a game she played, now she was desperate to come.
"Mitsuru..." She called her beloved's name, and all the pent up yearning, the soul-deep craving for him infused that single word. "I ache..." It was as if even her body has accepted that without his explicit command, she won't be able to come.
When her hips bucked from the stroke of her fingers, he made a choked sound, then bit off some command to the driver. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."
"Please...tell me to come." She began to writhe, hips undulating with unconscious grace, with guileless need. Her fingers flicking, flicking but no release.
"Then put your finger inside for me," Mitsuru said in a broken voice. "Be my sweet baby, and fuck yourself with it."
With a soft cry, her forefinger stroked along her clit towards her tiny opening, then began to tease herself, rubbing the tight entrance with her fingertip. His heavy breaths on the speaker filled the room, arousing her even more. "Wish you're here...fucking me hard."
When she penetrated herself and began to pump, Mitsuru rasped, "Be careful what you wish for." The call disconnected.
Just then the door to the bedroom suddenly burst open, startling her. Kokoro raised herself on her elbows just as Mitsuru stood at the threshold, seeming to take up all the space in the doorway.
"You're here." She gasped, unable to believe her eyes. He came home two days early and probably wanted to surprise her, only he was the one who got blindsided by her shameless display. Mitsuru didn't say a word.
He looked almost...crazed. But she was unafraid, knowing that he will never hurt her, no matter how much she provoked him.
His eyes had that almost sinister glint, that made his green eyes light up with an inner fire. Like he wanted to eat her up, bit by bit.
He strode towards the bed with a predator's domineering gait, big hands unbuckling his belt—a more menacing gesture she'd never seen.
Kokoro braced herself as he reached for her.
She gave a small shriek when he almost shoved her to the floor, her cheek pressed against the sheepskin rug, her head held down, his hand tangled in her ash blonde hair.
Then he shoved his pants to his thighs, pulled his cock and fisted it, pumping up and down, bringing the already hard length to even greater proportions. His harsh, labored breathing was the only sounds he made.
He mounted over her—crude, territorial, infinitely possessive—like she was a bitch in heat. Kokoro gasped, then closed her eyes, her fingers clenching against the rug. Desperate for his possession, she arched her hips. "Please..."
She felt the thick cock head positioned at her entrance. He didn't move slowly this time, didn't give her a chance to catch her breath or adjust to his considerable girth.
The guttural growl that escaped his throat as he impaled her with such brutal force almost sounded inhuman, drowning the soft cries she made.
His cock had to force through her clamping walls because she was already coming, his rough invasion triggering her release. "Oh, my god!"
He seemed to get thicker as he pushed deeper and deeper inside of her, and Kokoro almost clawed away from him, her nails scratching frantically against the rug.
Mitsuru gripped her hips, powered inside her and held himself deep, cupped over her body, covering every inch of her flesh. "Is this what you needed from me?" He seized her shoulders, yanking her back right as his hips shoved forward, sending his cock deeper than it'd ever been.
His bestial intensity called to her own, demanding an outlet for all the raging sexual energy coursing through her body, stoking all the heat from before and more. A new, unknown friction began to simmer deep inside her, until she was clawing the backs of his thighs, begging him for more, more. Please.
Her cry was drowned out by his triumphant roar as he began to fuck.
He pounded roughly into her, stealing her breath away. He was hard. Very hard. He felt so rigid inside her. Almost like she could feel the sheer lust pulsing from him through his cock and into her body.
He grated, "Is this hard enough for you?" He punctuated each word with savage thrusts. There was no mercy left in him, no give.
Her teeth clattered on that last thrust, more brutal than previous ones, her arms gave out and Kokoro fell back face down on the sheepskin rug, ass up, helpless to do anything more than receive his merciless fucking.
Kokoro closed her eyes and allowed the pleasure of his ruthless possession to wash through her. She liked the raw intensity and brutality of it all when he took her and spoke so explicitly to her. The idea of him using her limp body like this, a receptacle for his lusts, hurtled her closer to the edge, her climax boiling up inside.
Gone. She has truly descended into madness.
She panted his name repeatedly, as Mitsuru demanded all that she would give, took all that he wanted. The pressure escalated and escalated as he forced his way through her body. Oh god, where would it end?
She moaned and stirred restlessly but his hold tightened on her and pinned her down until she was powerless to move and it only heightened her lust.
It gave her a twisted, dark thrill to be completely helpless beneath her man, to know that she had no choice but to accept whatever it was he wanted to do to her. The knowledge was dark and edgy. She teetered along that forbidden line where it was easy to fall off into complete darkness.
How far would she go? How far would she allow Mitsuru to go? She'd never answered that question. She simply trusted him. Implicitly.
"This was what you wanted? A hard fuck?" Mitsuru bit out, battering her pussy savagely with his cock. "Then show me how you like it! Come once more!...Come all over my dick."
He ordered. She obeyed.
With that, she crashed over the edge, her inner walls clamping down on his thick length. Mitsuru gave a yell and ceased his thrusts and just savored the rhythmic contractions of her pussy as she screamed from the force of her orgasm.
He held himself still as she clenched him over and over; powerful spasms that left her completely drained of strength to do anything but call his name as she laid her head against the floor.
He wrapped her hair around his fist, forcing her to look at him. Between thrusts, he said, "You are mine. This is mine." He pounded his hips against her, hammering her sated pussy with his cock as if in emphasis.
Then he threw back his head and bellowed, beginning to ejaculate into her. Kokoro moaned softly as she felt his semen spurting inside, like a scalding tide filling her to overflowing.
He tugged her hair to bare her neck, nipping her hard, bucking his hips in a frenzy to pump himself dry, yelling from the force of his release.
They collapsed together on the floor, limp with satisfaction. Mitsuru kept their bodies joined, taking the opportunity to soothe his bite with a tender kiss on her neck, Kokoro made a gratified purr basking in the glorious afterglow. He clasped her against him so tightly, so tight it was to the point of pain. She needed it, wanted him to squeeze her even harder, Kokoro smiled and brushed her lips against his arm wrapped around her.
He kissed her hair, murmuring her name as he nuzzled against her nape.
Then suddenly he became tense, as if waking up for the first time. He rolled away from her with a curse.
Slowly, Kokoro managed to make it to a sitting position, wondering what happened.
"This wasn't what I planned." Mitsuru yanked up his pants.
He was agitated, acting like what they'd just did was wrong—when it'd been amazing and perfect and exhilarating for her. Kokoro looked at him with baffled eyes.
He thrust his hands against his hair as if completely lost. "Are you hurt? Oh god, this shouldn't have happened. Not like this."
She shoved the lock of hair from her face. "But that was what I wanted!"
"You...you don't know what you're asking." Mitsuru groaned, then knelt before her, inspecting her body for any damages he might have inflicted. "Oh god baby, if I have harmed you..." The dark thought was enough to make him break into cold sweat.
"Mitsuru...I'm alright." Kokoro whispered, covering his hand with her own. "Truly I am."
"How could you be? I...I used you like...like an animal!" He rubbed his palm against his face as if he wanted to punish himself, then jumped to his feet and began to pace the floor like a caged beast.
"Then I wanted to be used like an animal." Kokoro said simply, "Because I liked it."
"You can't mean that." He groaned.
"Why do you presume to know what I want?" She asked quietly. "I'm a flesh-and-blood woman, a hot-blooded woman not a fragile, porcelain doll. I won't break. More importantly, I have needs too...sometimes, dark needs."
"How could you know what you really want? I'm the only lover you ever had."
"Are you telling me to try out other lovers?" She asked as she lowered her eyelids.
Something primal flashed in Mitsuru's eyes. "That will never happen." He bit out.
"Then don't deny what we both want." She reached out her hand to him. "Why do you fight what we both crave?"
"Because I'm supposed to cherish you, treat you right. Treasure you, Kokoro."
"Are you saying only insane people will want something like this?" His eyes said she was asking the obvious.
Kokoro pinched her temples when he won't speak another word. "Help me to understand this. Understand why you think it's wrong."
He rubbed his face with his hand, then clutched his throat as if he couldn't breathe. "There is a need inside me—it's like a beast that claws at me, demanding to be set free. I need to do things to you. I need to control you, command you, punish you." He jabbed his fingers into his hair. "I've never indulged in it before, never felt like I couldn't live without it, I could turn it off by will. Yet now, with you..."
"With me...?"
"It's like an ever-increasing gnawing ache inside me that I fight and fight but can never defeat." His voice rose up with each word. "And then you tempt me like this?" he yelled. "You unman me!"
Kokoro yelled back, "So stop fighting it!" She marched up to him and grabbed his face with both hands. "I'm here, Mitsuru. I'm yours. I'm willing to try, I'm ready. I'm not some fragile little girl you seem to think of me."
"What if I harm you? What if giving in to this...makes me hurt you? Break you?" He asked softly, his eyes tracing each feature of her face. "I won't be able to bear it. You're my life. I only want to make you happy."
"Then do this for us." Kokoro whispered. "Let us explore this world together, if by the end of the road we discover it's nothing but a fool's gold, we will at least have the memories of the journey to treasure."
"We can't just rush into this." He whispered. "I want to learn more before we...do this."
Kokoro stood on tiptoes to brush her lips against his jaw. "As long as it's all theoretical research...it's fine by me. But any practical exercise should be a joint effort between you and me."
He looked at her as if she was an enigmatic puzzle he couldn't begin to solve. "Why aren't you afraid?"
"Should I be?" Kokoro said with a smile, "I trust you implicitly. That you want to wait and prepare to ensure my safety only strengthens that."
She had seen the darkness that invaded his green eyes earlier. Aware that she has stared at Mitsuru at his most primal, most primitive level. She has met the 'beast' he spoke of, had finally unveiled the wild, untamed part of his soul, the very same beast that spoke, called to the most darkest, greediest, neediest part of her own soul.
The part of him that could very well hurt her if he'd let it...but he never could. There were simply too many bonds between them, this was just one of them.
She picked up her silk nightgown and pulled it over her body. "Now I'm starving, I can fix something real quick...have you eaten?"
She stretched out her hand to him in invitation. The smoldering gleam in his eyes should have frightened her, sent her running, instead, it made her heart race, her breath quicken. The way his gaze traveled down her body to settle below her navel as if he could see her soft flesh through the fabric of her gown, had her trembling in response.
"Depends on what you're offering."
A/N: Guess my writing is heading towards a particular kink. lol But who knows how long before I join the dark side and start writing about the hard stuff? haha. There's just one thing I want to emphasize. Submissive =/= stupid doormat. They're not. A true submissive knows what s/he wants, and carefully selects the person they'll relinquish their control to. A submissive finds fulfillment in giving, in surrender, but they won't just trust anybody. Trust is earned, not a given. A dominant does not dole out pain for the sake of it. lol. They know exactly what their partner needed, whether it's pain or domination or being tenderly cared for. They provide a safe environment so their submissive can explore their sensual limits. Granted I'm no expert in this particular kink. Haha.
Anyways, the setting is modern AU like the recent one-shots, perhaps someday I'll be able to compile them, link them all somehow, but for now, I'm purging my drafts before they start collecting dust, or worse, forgotten. So yeah, expect more one-shots for now. ;)
The image I used is from a manga 'Coffee and Vanilla'.