A little one shot fic set after 1x9 with Mackenzie and Will and mentions of Brian, a little comfort is all thats needed.
It has been a truly terrible day for Mackenzie and that was saying something recently, Brian was still around giving her unwanted advice and making her feel a hundred times worse than she usually did about everything with Will. She knew his time in the newsroom was coming to an end but as far as Mackenzie was concerned this wasn't fast enough. Just looking at Brian reminded her of what she did and what it caused her to loose. She lost the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
Things between Mac and Will had been going really well until for some unknown reason Will had brought Brian into her life again. Mackenzie felt sure Will was trying to punish her for something but she had no idea if it was something more than she cheated on him. She had told will that she could handle anything of course Will had made a joke about jellyfish but Mac thought he had at least admitted that Brian was a mistake. Yet he was still here and Will was still throwing the two of them together. Will invited Brian into the room when he didn't need to be there just to watch Mac Squirm. But Mac took her punishments she knew she deserved it deep down Mac wanted Will to punish her for what she had done.
Mac sat with her head in her hands she actually wanted to cry she felt so low tears were stinging in her eyes and her throat felt constricted. She had learnt how to cope with seeing Will everyday and not being able to touch or kiss him and tell him how she felt but Brian being here just made it all worse, it brought the whole situation up to the front of her mind and she wasn't sure how much longer she could go on feeling like this.
She didn't need the constant reminder of Brian to know she hurt Will more than anyone else could ever have done, she knew she had broken his heart, will was already broken and he had taken the risk of letting her into his fragile heart and she had ripped it to shreds. Brian had reminded Mac of the life she could have had if she hadn't slept with Brian and she had to face her mistake daily.
Brian was making it worse for her by playing the part of the hurt man. Just earlier that morning in front of everyone he had told her rather aggressively and loudly that "she had no right to make him feel unwanted after all she had cheated on him with Will" Of course Will had been in earshot of this conversation so Mac had made sure her reply (which she had given Brian hundreds of times) was loud enough for Will to hear "Let me be clear again Brian i cheated on Will with you, and it was the biggest mistake of my life" she had walked away into her office and hadn't been out the door since. She couldn't face anyone she was sick of her personal life being aired in public.
Everyone knew thanks to her mass email why she and Will had split up, but having Brian actually here shadowing them and the team it was to close to home and it had changed the relationship between Will and her and she didn't like this relationship at all, it was full of arguments, snide comments and digs there was no laughing and joking like there had been a month ago it was tense when they were alone.
She finally let the tears out in the hope she would feel better after a good cry, she looked at the time on her laptop and realised she had been alone with her thoughts for over an hour, doesn't time fly when you are alone with your thoughts" she said out loud
"Don't they just, taking to yourself now" said Will with a small sad smile.
Mac looked up and quickly wiped away the tears below her eyes she hadn't even heard him come in.
"Is something wrong?" she asked trying to stop the tears from her eyes
"That's what i am here to ask you, are you ok after this morning? You have been hiding yourself away" said Will walking over to the window ledge and leaning on it his back facing out the window trying to catch Mackenzie's eye.
"I've been better but you know that" she replied with bitterness and sadness
"Mac , Brian won't be coming back" said Will
"But he has another few days"
"Not after the way he spoke to you today" said Will quietly "If he needs more information he can contact me by email or phone, but I don't think he Will" said Will still trying to catch Mackenzie's eye.
More tears leaked out of Macs eyes Will moved closer to her
"I realised today that I was punishing you, and you had been taking it on the chin, but i saw you break and i couldn't watch it" said Will Softly
"You invited him here, Will it must have been hurting you as much as me" said Mackenzie moving to him so they were side by side just inshes apart.
"I know, but i was punishing you and I don't know why, i spoke to dr Habib about it trying to make sense of it" said Will
"And?" Said Mac finaly looking Will in the eye.
"I don't have an answer , other than I am sorry" said Will looking into her eyes, they were so full of tears and sadness that it hurt will to his Core to see what his behaviour had done to her, she after all had taken every coment and punishment he had given her. But he just couldnt forgive her.
"Will placed his arm around Mackenzie and pulled her close. Mackenzie froze they hadn't been this close since Valentines Day when Will had hugged her infront of the whole office. She allowed herself to be pulled into him and placed her hand on his chest enjoying the warmth and smell of him, she had missed being close with him.
"I forgive you Will I know you haven't forgiven me for what I did with Brian, but you have to know its my biggest regret of my life, i never meant to hurt you, i Know you had been hurt in the past and what i did Broke you" said Mac to Wills chest.
"Mac i am broken, and i was i am hurting still from you cheating, but i don't know what im doing, i need to make sense of it"
"Is Dr Habib helping? Interrupted Mac
"If you had asked me when i saw him at first for sleeping pills i would have said no, but I really think he might be, just the fact he lets me ramble, but he doesn't let me away with things. And yes Mac we talk about you" said Will with a smile playing about his lips. Will didn't have the heart to tell her what he had discovered at his last session that the reason he couldn't forgive her was because she hadn't just cheated on him she had betrayed him. He knew that information would break her into a thousand pieces and he couldn't do that to her, he loved her too much. It had only taken the sight of Mackenzie in his newsroom over a year ago to realise he loved her so much it hurt
"I'm sorry Will, I'm so very sorry" sobbed Mackenzie.
Will kissed her forehead "I know you are and that means more than you know! Said Will his mouth near her forehead, His hand stroking the small of her back.
"We will be ok wont we Billy?" said Mackenzie
"Of course we will, it just takes time Mac, but as long as i am around no one will make you feel like Brian made you feel today and over the past few weeks.
"Thanks Billy" said Mac hugging into him, she felt safe with him and full of hope for the future.
Mackenzie knew Will was struggling to forgive her but she knew he was working in it and that gave her hope that they could be as close as the used to be again one day soon.