Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All rights belong to their respectful owners.
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: This is following the moment at the end of 6.18. It's going to resolve the baby issues these two are having by bringing up some of Arizona's past. There is something in Arizona's past that is the reason she doesn't want kids. What could it be?

Author's Note: This story of mine was, I don't want to say 'pushed' onto me, but that is the most accurate description. It was a great idea that two girls (you know who you are) nominated me for when we were chatting last Thursday about episode 6.18.

Anyways, this story is going to be going into the past of Arizona Robbins. I am going to be delving into the life of Arizona. I have a great idea to help explain why she doesn't want kids and I hope that when I get to that point that you think so too.

Also I should say that this is somewhat of a prequel to my current fanfic "Memories". Keep in mind you DON'T need to read "Memories" to read this fanfic.

Oh and I should give a shout-out to autumn_65 from Live Journal for helping me decide on an idea. Thank you so much for your help and hopefully continued help if I have issues later on. :D

THE TRUTH BEHIND ARIZONA'S PAST

CHAPTER 1 - QUESTIONS OF LOVE

Is love enough? Can it survive anything? Is there really a limit to love? These questions run through the minds of everyone at some point in their lives. Love isn`t just four letters, it`s a declaration of how one feels for another. These words aren`t said lightly either so when they are finally said, it means the world to both people especially when both of them say it.

The question of love usually comes into play during times that some people would think wouldn`t be affected by such a question. Some people say 'I Love You' and then one of them doesn't believe in marriage. Maybe their parents got divorced and because of that they don't believe in marriage. They believe in love but not marriage.

This same question comes into play when the talk of kids comes up. Some want kids. Some have wanted kids since they were kids. Seeing parents playing with their kids at the playground, always wanting to be that parent and because of that, some have always known they wanted kids. Others don't want kids for various reasons. Maybe they lost a sibling in an accident, or maybe they don't like screaming infants. Whatever the reason, they chose not to have children.

Usually in most cases in a relationship, the baby card is the swinging vote for a relationship, the turning point of wanting to spend a lifetime together. The baby talk in most cases is one of two things, a make-it or break-it card. Either both in the relationship want it or they don't. Some work through it and figure out a middle when they don't agree, whereas others don't, they just split.

This question of wondering if love can make it through the talk of babies is currently running through the minds of two women, Calliope Torres and Arizona Robbins.

Why this question would be running through the minds of these two women would be a mystery to anyone who met them for the first time. Arizona works with kids, she loves her kids. Callie she has wanted kids ever since she was married to George and probably before that time as well. Yet, this question still remains.

Why?

Why have these two been staring at each other for what seems like hours when it's been mere minutes wondering what the other is thinking. Wondering who will speak first and what will be said. Will it be good or will it be bad?

Will Callie's dreams come crashing down of having a family with the woman she loves, one Arizona Robbins? Will Arizona say the words she's been dreading ever since her girlfriend told her she doesn't want kids? How would she respond?

Tons of questions run through the mind of Callie Torres because she has wanted children for as long as she can remember. To hold a child that not only looks like her but looks like the one she loves would be incredible. It's something Callie has dreamed of having her entire life. Technically Arizona and she can't have a child that looks like both of them because science just doesn't work that way but it doesn't matter to Callie. She has always imagined ever since meeting Arizona of having a miniature Arizona running around. One with bouncy blonde curls, cute little ocean blue eyes, dimples that would make even the meanest of people crack a smile, she has always imagined that.

So after hearing her say that she doesn't want kids, her world came crashing down. In that moment, she didn't know what to say because she has always thought that Arizona would make a perfect mom. She has seen her with her patients, she plays games with them, she celebrates birthdays with them, and she is the ideal mom. Yet, she doesn't want kids.

How can that be? How can someone who loves kids so much not want her own kids? How is that possible?

It just doesn't make any sense to one Calliope Torres.

Arizona on the other hand doesn't want kids. When she told Callie, she felt relief finally getting that off her chest and when she didn't get a response from Callie she figured she was on the same page. That she too didn't want kids.

However in this moment, she was so wrong. She does want kids. Her Calliope wants children and she doesn't. So where does that leave her?

Does that mean that their relationship is now over because she doesn't want what her girlfriend wants? After over a year of crisis after crisis and falling in love with someone she never thought she would fall in love with, could this be the end? Could this love that she has come to be so fond of be over?

What else is there? Do they fight about it? There really isn't anything else they can do. Callie wants children and she doesn't. That's not something you can just get around easily. It's not like fighting over not being there for each other. The talk of babies is a serious matter and is something that can really strain their relationship and not just strain....but end.

How does she say to Callie that she doesn't want kids after hearing her say 'I have to have a baby.'? How does she respond to that? Does she walk away? Does she turn around; walk out the door and leave? Does she run? Erica Hahn did that to Callie once before, she can't do that too. That would be cruel especially with everything they have been through in their relationship.

She wants to cry, she wants to break down right there and cry because for her it feels like the end. It feels like their relationship just ended. As she pulls away from the warmth of her olive hands she can not only see, but feel the hurt that is casting across her Calliope's eyes and face. She caused this hurt, this pain. What should she do now? That is the ultimate question.

The truth would hurt, not only would the truth bring back painful memories for Arizona but there is a chance she would lose everything....again. To relive that memory is too much. In this moment, in this time and place Arizona can't and she won't relive that painful memory. She was hoping she would never have to bring it up because she was hoping that the next woman she fell in love with, wouldn't want kids, but she was wrong. Now she may lose the best thing in her life because of it.

"Say Something?" Callie spoke with hurt evident in her voice. This is all she could muster as she looks upon the woman who just pulled away from her grasp.

Tears begin to fill her eyes as she looks at Callie from a distance wanting so bad to just fall in her warm embrace and cry. But she can't, she can't fall apart not now. "Say what?" Hurt also evident in her voice.

Callie shrugs her shoulders slightly, "Anything. I want to know what you're thinking."

She gains some composure, "You want to know what I'm thinking." Anger replaces hurt in an instant. Tears about to fall from her eyes, "What do you want me to say?"

"I-I don't know I just..." Callie falls off as she sees a tear fall down Arizona's cheek. Wanting so bad to go over and wipe it away and tell her it's okay but she can't.

"You just what....." She sniffs back some of the mucus in her nose. "You thought....hey I'll just tell my girlfriend whom by the way doesn't want kids that you want kids, that you have to have kids..... Is that what you thought?" Another tear falls down her cheek.

She shakes her head slightly, "Arizona, I....." She trails off not knowing really what to say in this moment.

Tears continue to fall from Arizona's deep blue eyes, "I mean...... Where does that leave me?" She shrugs slightly, "You want kids and I don't."

"We can talk about this. Figure out a compromise." She looks at Arizona optimistically hoping that just maybe she will go for it so they can stop this. So that she can walk the few steps to her hurt girlfriend and pull her in for a hug.

"A compromise, that's you're solution. How can we come to a compromise when it's clear...." She looks away for a second as more tears fall before looking back. ".....when it's clear that we have very different views?"

Callie takes a step towards Arizona, "Arizona...." however she pulls back farther. "We can do this. I know that we have different views on the future but we can.....we can work through this. We have made it through so much. Why is this any different?" Now tears begin to form in Callie's eyes as she feels like her world is falling apart right in front of her.

Arizona just looks at Callie not knowing how to respond. Looking at her she sees the hurt that she is clearly causing. With anger gone and in its place emotion, "....It is different. This is about our future, a future I have imagined for months. A big house, with a swimming pool, dogs and maybe even chickens," a small laugh escapes Callie's mouth before going back to serious. "I have imagined this and I have been imagining this for a long time but this......" She motions between them, "this changes everything Calliope. It does. You may not think so but it does."

She takes a deep breath and with all the emotion she can muster she looks into those blue eyes. "Arizona, I love you with all of my heart. And I know it doesn't seem like much, it's only four letters but never, in my entire life have I felt this way, towards anyone. You are my life."

"You say that and I know you mean it but that doesn't matter in this situation. This is about you and me, about how we have different views of a future together. I see one without kids but you see one with kids. To me, it kind of sounds like our relationship may be over." Another tear falls down her cheek as she thinks back to her past. She so badly doesn't want what happened in her past to replay again.

Callie steps closer this time not letting her pull away as she places her hands on her shoulders and looks firmly into her eyes making sure she listens. "Don't say that! I don't want us to be over and I know you don't either. You may say that but you know it's not true."

Arizona pushes Callie's hands off of her shoulders, "You know it is. I know you. It must have at least crossed your mind once or twice." She looks away.

"No, it hasn't. Not once." She sees a hint of hope flash across Arizona's eyes as she turns to look back at her. "I told you, I want you in my life." She smiles at the next thought, "I could see us old and wrinkly and I would still love you with all the fire and passion that I have for you now." A small smile appears on Arizona's mouth. "Yes, I want to have kids and I think if we talk about it that you would too because I think you would make a wonderful mom, probably a better one than me."

"Calliope...." she trails off. "Of course you would make a great mom, I've see you treat little kids with their broken arms. You would definitely make an excellent mom. You would."

Callie smiles, "So would you."

She shakes her head slightly, "I can't. Not with everything I know. I don't think I could handle being on the other end..." again she thinks to herself.

"Arizona, why do you always go to the bad?" She looks at her questionably before continuing with what she knows about the Paediatrics surgeon she fell in love with. "I've seen you with your patients. You play games with them, bring them pudding, celebrate birthdays with them, you would make a perfect mom and yet you don't want kids. Why is that?"

She looks up into those brown eyes she has come to love with such intensity wondering if she would understand why. Understand the truth. Knowing her, she probably would and they would work through it but not now. Not after everything they've been through so far today.

Wiping her eyes with her hands she responds by saying, "I'm going to bed." She tries to walk by Callie but Callie stops her by instinctively grabbing her hand.

"Arizona, we need to talk about this," she holds back some of her fear of losing Arizona.

She looks back at Callie, "Ya we do but not tonight. I've had enough crying for one night. I was going to leave but I can't and I won't so I'm staying. I'm staying here with you. Okay?"

Callie lets go of her hand, "Can we talk about this in the morning?"

She sighs, "I don't know, maybe."

"Are we okay? Should I be worried about us?" She asks cautiously not wanting to know if her fears are going to come true or not.

"For now, we're fine, but after tomorrow.....I don't know." Arizona looks at Callie with as much honesty as she can find.

Callie nods before watching her girlfriend walk into their room to go to sleep. All of her fears still around. Could this be the end of her and Arizona? All because of a baby issue.

Okay, don't kill me. I know it was an emotional chapter and the next will probably be emotional as well but trust me, it will get better.

Please Leave Me A Review.

--SGAFirenity--