No Russian (With Naruto)
It was an average day at the ninja academy in Konoha, Naruto playing pranks on people, everyone else being annoyed by him and Iruka getting tired of it.
Naruto had played one of his favorite pranks today. He put a tack on Iruka's chair!
"ARGH!" Yelled Iruka, "Naruto, you have Detention!" Naruto was happy because Iruka gave him attention. Iruka said "Has anyone seen Shikamaru?"
They may have thought it to be a normal day, but in Russia…
Shikamaru had his new uniform on, He had his new shiny M240 and he was spying on Vladimir Makarov for the FBI. "Alexei, are you ready for your first job?" "Of course I am!" Shikamaru said. Then let's go.
Shikamaru, Makarov and the other Russians kicked open the door of the airport, but they weren't at the airport! A strange scientific portal opened up and took them to the ninja academy! "Naruto, if you can't do any Jutsu you will never be a shinobi!"
The Russians then came in blasting. "Everyone take cover!" Iruka yelled.
"My bacon sandwich!" Choji said as he ran for it, and the Russians mowed him down, blasting his head right off his shoulders. Iruka ran to help him, but looked at Shikamaru and said "Shikamaru?!?" But Shikamaru shot him straight though the eye. "Who the hell is that?" said one of the Russians. Ino also ran to help Choji, but had a hole shot straight though her brain. You could see her brains go flying across the room and getting all over Saskue, Who they then shot over and over and over, but he wouldn't die! They had shot his lower torso directly off, finishing the job. Sakura ran over saying "My love!" but was shot though the back of the head, not quite killing, but maiming her. One of the Russians said "Let's have some fun with that one's body after this, Comrades!" with the slight energy Sakura had left, she cried in terror of what would happen to her. Naruto then came out and said, "You can't do that to Sakura! Shadow clone Jutsu!" but nothing happened. Kiba said "You really believe that works?" just before a Russian shot him in the head, but the bullet went though both him and Shino, killing them both. Makarov shot Naruto, and then his brains flew out onto Hinata, who said "Noooooooooo!" as she cried for Naruto, but a Russian shot her and maimed her and said "We'll keep this one alive too, she'll give us some fun!"
With most of them dead, the Russians and Shikamaru ran to their van, but shot Shikamaru on his way in and drove off, starting WWIII. Then Sakura and Hinata had a pretty crappy life for their last couple days. Damn. Poor Sakura and Hinata.