A/N: I have become victim to the "I-have-other-stories-to-finished-but-wait-I-have-another-idea" syndrome. So the question is, will I finish this story either? You'll have stick around to find out.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.
She was always notorious for not showing any form of expression at all, even since birth. But today was a different day. Her mood that day was one of anticipation, from what she could conclude from her own moments. The top of her shoes quickly tapping against the tile floor. Her heart beating at an inhuman speed. Palms gripping the straps of her purse as if it were the reigns of a horse. All her eyes could focus on was the closed door staring back at her, watching for any signs of opening. Tetsuki wasn't sure how long she had been in a trans, but was immediately brought back when a large hand covered one of her own.
The bluenette jumped at the weight but sighed in relief when she realized who it was. Her company laughed at her surprise, which was a rare sight that only few got to see. "Calm down," he told her. "The doctor isn't gonna come into the room any quicker if you keep burning holes into the door."
Tetsuki turned away in embarrassment. "I know that," she pouted, relaxing her shoulders. She glanced around the bland hospital room, taking interest in some posters advising the first steps to pregnancy and motherhood. A smile crept on her face when she brought a hand to her thin stomach. After being married for a year now to her best friend that she had known for many years, they had finally decided to have another addition to their family. For Tetsuki, she never really minded being independent. However she will admit—during the times when her parents, sibling, and grandmother were away, not to mention her almost invisible presence to anyone around her—it did get lonely. But once she met her first and only love, Tetsuki's life had taken a turn for the better.
Her blue eyes met with her husbands with an almost threatening glare. He gulped nervously but couldn't bring himself away, usually to save himself from later punishment. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" she deadpanned.
Clearing his throat, he brought his other hand to hold onto her unoccupied one so each hand had one to hold. At times like this, he couldn't help but grin at the mother-to-be. Although she never insisted on the idea of children at first, his wife didn't back down once it came about. "Whether it's a boy or a girl, I will love our baby endlessly."
"You men are all sweet-talkers."
"How do you think I got you to marry me?" He made a sound of pain mixed with laughter when his wife went for a jab to his stomach. But nonetheless, he gave her loving kiss to her petite mouth to which she returned wholeheartedly. Before the kiss could get heated, the doctor entered the room.
Tetsuki ignite-passed her husband's face away from hers and stood at the sight of the doctor, flustered. The bluehead wasted no time speaking first. "What are the results, sensei?"
Her husband stood with her as well, an evident hand print on his left cheek. "Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked hurriedly.
The doctor placed the papers on his desk, but he could tell from the couple's eager eyes they were waiting to hear the results from him. "Neither," he said quietly. He looked from the woman to the man, and back to the woman again. "It seems the pregnancy test you took miscalculated.
"I'm sorry to say Tetsuki-san, but you are sterile."
Her hair curtained around her as she kept her head down during the whole phone call. Though the gesture to hide her face proved useless when it was just her at home. Tetsuki regretted to say, not even the voice of her own mother could comfort her. "Sweetie? Are you still there?"
"Hai, Okaa-san," she croaked.
"Would like Otou-san and I to come over?" her mother offered worriedly. "I could bring some boiled eggs? Those are your favorite!"
"I'm okay, Okaa-san."
"You are not okay, Tetsuki. I didn't raise you to lock yourself up and hide all your feelings from the world. You have friends and family who love you, and there's no shame in asking for comfort." Her mother's voice came fast and stern through her cellphone, in an almost scolding way. But Tetsuki could tell her mother was breaking down too when fits of sniffles sounded from the other end. "And I'm sorry I can't be there beside you right now because your Obaa-chan is still at the hospital a-a-and I'm sorry for being a horrible mother who can't even help her own child but—"
Tetsuki stood from her seat, tears coming down her already tear-stained cheeks. She shook her head vigorously when her mother continued to ramble. "N-No Okaa-san," she spoke between sobs. "You're not the one at fault. I-I-It's my fault that I—"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't you dare," her mother interjected. "You are not to blame."
"D-Demo... If I had known sooner, t-then he wouldn't have..."
A deep inhale came from the other side of the line. "Tetsuki. There are things in this world that can't be changed. Some things were meant to be, whether it's good or bad. This road block is something you have to overcome if you want to move on. Everyone has a path in life, but it's up to you follow it."
The words, "the number you have dialed cannot be reached," were etched in her mind since the week after going to the hospital. However, as of today, her brain chose a new favorite: "the number you have dialed has been disconnected." But no matter how many calls she made in a day, the result stayed the same. It's been two weeks since then. One week since her husband last came home.
Tetsuki couldn't blame him, and despite what her mother said, she still blamed herself. She spent most of her days questioning how she had spent her life so far, finding the little mistakes here and there. Even as she shopped for groceries, she mentally made a list of steps for self-improvement to go by. While she gave the cashier the exact amount of money, she realized how much worse her observation skills had become. Because just after she stepped out of the supermarket, Tetsuki bumped right into a person. The tiny bluehead was able to catch herself from tipping over but caused her to drop her groceries from the plastic bag in the process. "Please forgive me," she bowed in apology before kneeling to pick up the fallen foods.
"Ah, please let me help," offered the man, a man she knew. His voice ringed in her mind as she tried to identify the man helping her.
Her head slowly rose to look at the raven-head before her, thin brows raised slightly. "Himuro-kun..."
Himuro Tatsuya faced the woman whose hair reflect the sky with wide eyes. "Tetsuki," he said in surprise. He quickly finished placing her groceries back in the bag before handing it to the bluenette. He smiled down at her, but it quickly diminished knowing what was on her mind the moment she set her eyes on him. Getting to the point, he lamented, "I heard about what happened." Tetsuki nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. "From Taiga," he added.
Blue eyes quickly returned back to meet Himuro. "Do you know where he is?" she asked desperately, stepping closer. "C-Can you tell me, please?"
Himuro's eyes were downcast, his expression twisted. Part of him wanted to lie to her, but he knew she deserved the truth more than anyone. "Taiga went back to America," he told her.
All feeling in her body turned numb, and the only sound she could hear was the slow beating of her broken heart. "W-Why would he..." she trailed off before wiping away the wetness from her eyes.
He should his head in shame. Even more so that he couldn't bring himself to say that he bumped into her purposely so the movers could clear his brother's belongings from Tetsuki apartment while they spoke. "I'm so sorry, Tetsuki," he confessed before bringing her in his arms as she cried into the fabric of his shirt. Himuro knew at this point, no amount of comfort could remove the pain that had been scarred into his sister-in-law's heart.
Blank. If someone came up to her at that very moment and asked her a simple question like, "In your own eyes, how does your world look?", her answer would be, "Blank." As blank as the harmful, yet harmless piece of paper that laid flat on the kitchen table. Shaky fingers moved to pick up the object beside the paper, part of her hoping it was only a figment of her imagination. Reality seemed to catch up with her then when she lifted the golden ring and watched it gleam innocently towards the light, confirming its authenticity. The bluenette suddenly felt all feeling in her hand disappear, dropping to her side like a heavy weight and losing the ring in the process as it rolled off in her half filled apartment.
Kagami Tetsuki. 155 centimeters. 51 kilograms. Born January 31st. Age 25. Married at Age 24. Discovered to be sterile at Age 25.
Divorced at Age 25.
One month later...
Aida Riko watched her long time friend with worried eyes as she gathered the children's toys from the ground and placed them in their respectful containers in silence. The twenty-six year old couldn't even concentrate on her own share of work, fearing if she let her eyes off the unstable bluehead she would fall apart in an instant. But she had no doubt that Tetsuki wouldn't let herself break so easily, and for that reason alone, Riko knew she had to be strong if she wanted to help her friend get through this. "Hey!" Riko started as she set back into work mode. "How about we get some food after we finish cleaning up? You could come over and eat with me and Junpei? Ah! What about Maji Burger? I know you can't say no to a vanilla milkshake, right, Tetsuki-kun?"
Tetsuki shook her head. Although she was able to manage a small smile, her sad eyes revealed her true emotions bottled up inside her. "I appreciate the offer Riko-san, but if it's all right with you, I'd like to work a little while longer tonight. It seems one of the children super-glued the new building blocks together."
The brunette sighed in frustration, running a hand through her hair. "That's the third one this week! And how do they keep finding the super-glue?" Riko looked at her friend, uncertain. "You sure you'll be okay locking up?"
"Yes, and if something happens, they will be no match for me," Tetsuki said firmly before lifting her thin right arm into a flexing position. "Please look at these guns."
You don't have any! Riko brushed the undeniable truth away in her head and smiled. She grabbed her belongings before coming up to Tetsuki and giving her a quick hug before ruffling her long hair. "Don't hesitate to call, okay? You know my door is always open for you," she offered once more.
"I know."
Bidding her friend goodnight, Tetsuki made her way to the daycare office and sat down at one of the open desks. After turning on the computer, she searched online ways to take apart the super-glued blocks. Once she found a website that listed supplies she currently obtained, she went to retrieve the materials and begin her work. Two hours passed when she finished taking apart the final building block, just at the nick of nine o'clock in the evening. Tetsuki placed everything back to its right places and removed her work apron to hang in the employee lounge. She gathered her things and removed her car keys from her purse while walking towards the back exit. Just before she turned off the lights, the bluehead remembered she had left her cellphone at the front desk.
Thinking back to her earlier conversation with Riko as she walked through the empty daycare, Tetsuki couldn't help but feel like a burden the moment her friend offered her dinner. Never in her life had she felt so helpless and let others see her in such a state for that matter. Of course, no one expected her to return to her normal self after the events from a month ago, but with a personality like Tetsuki's, she promised herself to overcome this obstacle. Even if she had to do it alone.
Upon arriving at the front desk near the entrance of the daycare, a tiny shrill sounded within the room. Tetsuki hurried her steps to see if the sound had resonated from her cellphone but was mistaken once she found it sitting on the desk, undisturbed. But before she could shrug off her mistake, the shrill returned once again and this time it was closer. Long locks of sky blue hair whipped around as it followed the movement of Tetsuki head, trying to locate the source of the shrill and lead her to the front doors to the daycare. The bluenette realized that the sound had become clearer as she came close to its location. "It couldn't be..."
Her hand cautiously came around the handle of the entrance door, grasping it tightly once she made contact. Tetsuki took in a deep breath and prepared herself for what could be one the other side of the door. Like a band-aid, she opened the door with one quick pull of the hand. And what she found there proved her thoughts to be true: the one thing she could never create but always hoped of having.
Laying on the ground, bundled in a sloppy manner and dressed only in a makeshift diaper, was a baby.
Tetsuki's breathing raced as it almost reached uncontrollable speed. Unwanted memories returned from the depths of her brain as she stared down at the scrunched face of a tiny human. Tears she had thought to no longer have since that day produced a new, and threatened to fall from her eyes. A figure appeared in hear head. A personality to admire. A smile to adore. A voice to say the words—
"Waaah!"
Gasping for air, the bluenette returned to reality at the sound of the crying infant. She brought a hand to her head as she counted her breaths. The crying didn't subside and resulting in thrashing about in loose blankets. Tetsuki took one more deep breath before kneeling down to the baby's level. As she continued to calm herself she observed the baby in an almost curious way, as if she had made a new discovery not yet known to existence. Upon the baby's head laid a few strands of bright blond hair, possibly indicating it was just a few months old. Its cheeks were fairly chubby, had long eyelashes pointed towards the ends of its eye, and its small mouth stretched open as it continued to wail in discomfort. At this point, with the amount of time its been crying for, the bluehead was convinced the baby would grow up to be quite the talker.
To prevent raising suspicion, Tetsuki carefully lifted the baby in her arms and fixed the blankets to its liking. "H-Hello," she spoke nervously and politely, as if she was being interviewed for the most important job of her career. The baby's cries hushed at the sound of her voice and gazed up at her in quiet admiration, sunshine-filled eyes glowing brightly, and giggled. Tetsuki swore she felt her heart beat ten times quicker at the sound. Giving in to temptation, she brought her forehead close to the baby's and smiled widely. During her moment of bliss, she hadn't even noticed the tears roll down her face until chubby hands came to her face and patted down the wetness. Tetsuki laughed and held the bundle of joy closer to her, causing the baby to join in her laughter.
At the corner of her eye, she saw something slip down from the blanket what appeared to be a piece of paper. Holding the baby closely to her, she reached for the small paper and read the now noticeable content.
His name is Kise Ryouta. He is five months old.
Don't bother looking for any relations with his surname.
We no longer want this baby.
Tetsuki turned the paper over, trying to find any remaining clues but found none. There must've been some sort of circumstance the mother faced to have to resort giving up her own child, she reasoned. But for such words like "no longer" and "baby" pained her. Her situation hasn't been an easy one. It often left her thinking of the life she lived during that time and trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong. It was harsh to say, but she felt—no, she was convinced she was the reason. The reason for her infertility. The reason for her divorce.
She was the wrong. But now that she met this gift named Kise Ryouta, Tetsuki was sure. Their meeting was an act of fate.
Fate. If someone came up to her at that very moment, and asked her a simple question like, "Within your heart, how you would describe this encounter as?", her answer would be, "Fate." Sniffling, she looked down at the baby with tender loving care as she wiped away a trail of drool coming from the Ryouta's mouth. "I'm not sure what your mother is feeling, whether she feels relieved or sad, but I promise to care for you—even if I have to do it alone," Tetsuki declared with heartfelt emotion. The feeling wetness returned and slid down her cheeks one by one, but for the first time in a long time, someone had wiped them away for her and placed her heart at ease.