This will be 'Part One.' of the "Mixed Signals." 'Verse..
A/N: WARNINGS: SPOILERS, for Seasons 1-9.. Blanket WARNING.. Because I want to cover everything that could possibly be warned for.
A/N: PLOT: Set, sometime in Season 9.. (HERE'S where the Spoilers start. So if you do not want to see any Spoilers. Turn and run from this now.) While Ezekiel is still possesing Sam, but BEFORE Sam finds out about him (Because we all know that it WILL happen. We just don't know WHEN.).. OKAY.. A case leads the brothers (And the angel riding shotgun in Sam's noggin..) to a carnival.. And there are CLOWNS... A way WRONG assumption, leads to Dean finding out some things about Sam that he didn't know..
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Dean, knew, that Sam wasn't happy about this. But..
What choice did they really have?
ALL of the victims had, had tickets to come here... And.. They HAD to go where the leads took them.
And plus.. This couldn't possibly count as a real carnival anyway.. Not when it was one of those, hokey, small town school carnivals. And.. Hey, there was a least a decent looking chick running 'The Kissing Booth', where the 'kissing' was nothing more than a chaste peck to the cheek (But a kiss from a cute chick, is still a kiss from a cute chick.), because EVERYTHING was Rated "PG" or under for the sake of all of the little kiddies running around here, so how bad could this trip to a 'kiddie' carnival really turn out to be?
Apparently.. Pretty bad...
At first it wasn't SO BAD..
Yeah there were a few clowns roaming about, but Sam seemed fine with just descretely avoiding them.. Which was a pretty big step.. So, maybe that whole thing at Plucky's almost three whole years ago, really had helped with Sam's 'clown phobia' thingy...
Or, not...
One second.. He and Sam were walking side by side past various carnival games, like some ring toss games and a dunk tank, where everyone got a chance to dunk the local sheriff for a good cause, (And.. Wasn't that just great? Because who doesn't just LOVE having local law enforcement within a close proximity of where they may or may not wind up having to commit some sort of crime?) when.. All of the sudden, Sam went still. And then just stood there, staring off into the distance...
Dean, being the ever the dutiful big brother, followed Sam's gaze.
Out away from the bustle of the crowds..
Out away from the majority of the lights of the carnival..
There was a small boy. No older than six. And it was clear, there were tears shimmering in his eyes.
And next to that little boy. Knelt a brightly dressed figure, with big shoes, a rainbow wig and a painted face.
It seemed that the two Winchester brothers were the only ones to notice the small boy and the clown. But as far as Dean could tell, there wasn't anything too amiss, about the situation. The child might be lost and the clown might be trying to help.
THEN.. Suddenly, a white gloved hand reached up and brushed what was probably a tear off of the small child's cheek, then the clown stood up, reached down and took the small child's hand and started leading him even further away from the crowds, towards, the parking lot.
And Sam.. Sam moved like a bullet. A bullet aimed at one target.
Dean barely had time to register that Sam was on the move, everything had happened so suddenly.
By the time he caught up with Sam, it was only to be trying to pry his kid brother off of the brightly colored, sobbing man, who seemed just as completely clueless as to why he was being attacked as Dean was.
Because, Sam, was NOT normally a violent person, well, at least not where other people were concerned anyway. And despite Sam now being, sort of, alright with being in the general vicinity of as clown, there was no way that he would outright, charge at one, then tackle them down and start pummeling them for absolutely no reason. BUT.. Dean was looking at evidence to the contrary.
And Sam.. Sam was spewing venomous, snarled out, ROARED out words at the clown. Words that Dean barely caught as he tried to get a grasp on the situation.
"Pervert."
"Sick."
"Son of a bitch."
"What were you gonna do to him him, you sick bastard?!"
That got Dean's attention. Because.. What the HELL, was Sam talking about?
The sobbing, painted, man, sputtered out "Please.. He's my.."
And now the child's cries of "Daddy!" could cleary be heard through the ocean of staticky panic rushing into Sam's ears.
"Go, kid, find your dad!" Sam yelled back at the clearly traumatized child, but his voice held no venom when he spoke to the child. Sam was using his 'Calm the victim down.' voice "Tell, your dad, that this bastard tried to take you." Sam growled as he continued to punch the clown senseless.
"Daddy!" The child screamed again "Please, mister!.. Please stop hurting my daddy!"
The boy was trying to throw himself in between Sam and the clown. And now Dean realized.. That they really, needed to go.. Like right the hell, now... Because people were beginning to notice the commotion.
But Sam.. Sam.. just froze and stammered "W-w-wha?.. He's your?.. He's your dad?!"
"Please." The brightly painted man begged. "Please. Don't hurt my son."
"I thought." Sam looked like he was about to be sick "Oh, god."
Sam pushed himself off of the clown and stumbled back. "I'm sorry. I thought you were. I saw you leading a little kid off towards the parking lot and it looked like he was crying and I thought..." Now Sam was talking a mile a minute and Dean was still feeling dazed, he was still trying to figure out, what the HELL, had set his brother off like that. Because why would Sam just assume something, especially something like THAT, without cause?
"You thought what?" The bruised and battered man was pulling himself back up to a stand. Then realization dawned on the man's face "Christ! He's my son you sick freak! He was crying because he wanted to stay at the carnival instead of going home!"
"I.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Sam truly sounded remourseful. But he would have to sound remourseful on the move. Because people were starting to move towards them, which meant Dean had to start moving Sam away. Someone else was just gonna have to take this case now. The Winchester brothers were gonna hop on the first black, classic, Impala headed out of town and not look back for the rest of the foreseeable future.
Once they were safely over the state line. Dean looked over at Sam, he was about to demand answers.. Because.. SERIOUSLY?!.. Just what in the HELL, had all of THAT been about?!
But, Sam.. Sam, beat him to the punch.
"I'm, sorry. I have no idea, why I just.. I don't know.. I just saw a clown, touching a crying little boy and I lost it. I don't.. I don't even know why. I really don't know why. But I instantly thought that the clown was.. That he was gonna.. I thought.." Sam was talking at hyper speed.
"Yeah.. I caught that much.. What the hell, Sam?" Dean asked incredulously. "You can't just stampede at an innocent civillian because he's dressed like a clown and.. And.. Oh, crap."
Dean edged the Impala gently to the side of the road and put her in park, then turned in the seat so that he could look at his brother. Really, look at him.
Sam.. Who was hunched in on himself.. Looking, so lost. So, confused. His glazed eyes held a wild, flighty, panicky, SCARED, look. And Dean's heart plummeted. Because.. How?.. When?.. Who?.. And WHY, hadn't he seen it before? WHY hadn't he understood before?
"What happened to you, Sammy?"
"Talk to me, kiddo."
"What did he do?.. Who was it?.. When?.. Sammy?.. Talk to me man. Say something, please."
"Not, HE.. THEY." Sam huffed out, sounding on the verge of tears "And it was a long time ago. It doesn't even matter, now. Hell, I can barely even remember.."
"That's bull and you know it!.. Now, tell me, what, happened. I want to know everything, Sam. No secrets. Remember?" (And didn't pulling that card make Dean feel like a complete jackass? Especialy now, in light of what he was just now realizing.)
"I can't, Dean. You won't.. You won't understand. I just can't. I can't tell, YOU. Not about this. You can be mad if you.."
"Look... I'm not mad at you.. Crap, Sam.. I'm really not. I get why you've never said anything." Dean was trying, desperately fishing around for the right words. Because if there was ever a time where he had to say exactly the right things. This was it. Because if he messed up, Sam would shut down, he would withdraw.. He might.. He might, run away. And Dean refused to lose his brother. So, he had to get this right.
'Please, GOD.. Let me get this one thing right.'
"Sam." Dean took a refortifying breath "I promise. I'm not mad. I won't be mad..." Then he took a deep breath, because it was going to take a lot out of him to say this. To give up the reins like this. But.. This was Sam. And Sam was a head strong, stubborn, mule brained, WINCHESTER. And Dean knew that he could not force Sam to tell him anything. Even if talking about whatever it was, was what Dean thought Sam needed. (And, yeah. Dean knew what IT was, but he knew that Sam needed to say it.. So he wasn't going to even let himself think it, until Sam, said it..).. "I'm not gonna be mad. Even.. Even, if you don't tell me... I just.."
"It was at one of the Plucky's.. One of the Plucky's that.."
"I ditched you at."
"You didn't ditch me, Dean. You were just a kid and you needed time for yourself, so that you could be, just a kid. And I get it.. So, please.. Don't go blaming yoursss.. This is why I didn't ever wanna tell, you. I knew, knew you would blame yourself." Now, the tears that were being shed behind the curtain of hair, were obvious in Sam's voice.
"Okay. Okay, Sammy. I.. Alright.. You were at one of the Plucky's that I.. Uh.. Dropped you off at. And what happened?"
"I was like, the only kid there by myself and these two clowns, well, I guess, they noticed."
"What did they do?"
"I had to go to the bathroom and when I stepped around the corner to go down the hall, that led to the bathroom. One of them grabbed me and shoved me into.. Into.. I guess, it was like a backstock room for the prizes.. I don't really know... The one that grabbed me pushed me to the floor. He was pinning me down when the other one came in. It all happened so fast. I didn't have time to try to fight back. I didn't even have time to think, before I knew it, one of them was holding me down and the other was.. He was.. I couldn't get away. I tried. I tried, I swear."
"Hey... Hey.. What happened. What they did to you. Was not your fault."
"I couldn't get away." Sam sobbed. It was like he hadn't even heard Dean "I couldn't get away. I tried.. I tried.. I swear."
"I know, Sam... I know you tried. And it's still not your fault. It's not your fault that you couldn't get away."
"I was scared." Sam cried "I was, so scared. And it hurt and I didn't know what to do. I screamed and I tried to get away. But I couldn't make them stop. I couldn't make them stop."
It was like the floodgates had opened and now that Sam had started, he couldn't stop. Not until the deluge had passed and the waters had receded. And Dean, he wasn't about to try to stem the tide. He knew that Sam needed to let it out.
This.. This was real.. This was somehow, more real than the horrors they faced every day. This was life changingly... Real... No wonder Sam was still scared of clowns, even after over a hundred years locked away in Lucifer's Cage.. This.. Was more real than that. Oh, god. This was real and there was no way to escape it. Not for him. And certainly not for Sam, who had been holding all of it in, dealing with it all alone, for seventeen years.
"Sam. It's okay. You can tell me. Tell me what happened. Tell me what they did. It's okay. You can say it. You need to say it. I know you. You need to say it. You need to say it outloud."
"They.." Sam sobbed then his voice cracked as he whispered "Raped, me."
To be continued...
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A/N: Next, Sam tells Dean, how he escaped and what happened after. It's not going to be easy for Dean to hear.