I scrape my new boots against the dirt road in Lowtown, I swear it's not a good idea to let Varric have my bag when there are stores nearby. Who knows what was going through my head at the time, maybe it was the lack of sleep because of you know who waking me up right when the sun's rising after I stay up all night. Isabella does that to tease me, Aveline just does it to piss me off. It's all for good laughs, and I'm sure they love to see me mumble incoherently sounding like I were drunk when really I'm only tired. Funny how people who are so different do alike things yet hate each other so much. The bigger question is, why do they have to pick on me? I mean seriously it's just not right, I needed my peace SOMETIMES, right? But nooo they just love to annoy the shit out of me for fun, especially because they know I'll laugh about it later, I can be light hearted… Shut up.

Isabella's voice could be heard inside the Hanged Man as I approach the doors. When I walk in she smiles, "Ahh, just the girl I've been looking for," she pats the chair beside her and I just roll my eyes and sit.

"So what's the proposition this time?" I ask in a sarcastic tone.

She smiles, "How sweet of you to ask, but that's not why I called you over, Fenris has been asking for you," she winks, "tell me how he is in bed after."

"Isabella!" I bit my lip to keep from smiling at her joke, "You wish that were the reason I were going," and so do I, I think to myself. She laughs as I leave her side.

Varric of course had to leave a word before I could leave, "So, Hawke visiting the brooding elf during her free time, I hear a story developing already."

My arms cross, "Please, tell me you're joking," I raise an eyebrow at him, "it's not even like that."

"Oh I'm sure it isn't," he jokes, "It's just another excuse to get a closer view of his-"

"Shut it dwarf."

"You're right there is no need to continue is there? The truth speaks itself in.. many, many, different forms."

I rub my temples, "I swear you're giving me a headache," he laughs.

"Right, I'm a headache and you're in denial."

"And you love to mess with me, everyone does," I sigh, "What is it about me that's necessary for everyone to see to it that I almost smack them?"

"Maybe because you react to everything we say," he chuckles, "I have business to attend to Hawke, see you another day," he nods as he walks over to a table of gamblers already having a story rolling off his tongue. I shake my head at him with a small smile before I headed out.

As I headed my way to Hightown Estates, I began to think. You know, today is a really nice day, I should take walks more often, alone. Well I guess it would depend on the person wouldn't it? Would I take a walk with Fenris? Hell yes. Speaking of Fenris.. What did he ask me for? Every night we were either hanging out in his mansion or in mine. Depending on who gets home first, and the patience of the other person. I knew we were planning on being at his house tonight with one of those wine bottles he hasn't finished yet. I chuckle at the thought. Even still, I couldn't imagine what he would call me to his mansion for.

One quick knock on my head against the cobblestone wall woke me right out of my thoughts. Good thing I'm alone or I'd never hear the end of it. With a sigh I walk right inside without a knock, "Fenris?" I called, "Where are you?"

"Right here," He says in his low voice, making me jump out of surprise.

"Oh uh… Right so, why did you ask me to come?"

His arms cross, "A man carrying a letter for you came to your estate, only to find that you weren't there. Even Bohdan's offer to make sure you read it immediately when you came home wasn't enough, so he knocked on others doors, including mine," he huffs, "I just took the letter from his hands so he could go, I didn't read it but here," he hands me the cream covered envelope with some wrinkles where I bet Fenris snatched it. I raise my eyebrow at him and he shrugs. With a half smile I start to read the letter, the first word made my face drop in a emotionless mask:

My daughter,

It has been a long time, A man with brown hair and a good intension holds his hands open with ice in one and fire in another, I have missed you so, I see my dead sisters body on the floor, followed by my mothers, then my brothers, I have written to you from my own estate, I look up to see my father standing over them with crazed eyes, "We don't need them," He laughs darkly, "All we need is each other, all we need is mages just like us." to tell you how much I love you, my hand were shackled to a board under me, my father has been experimenting on me, as his hand touches my forehead my body is filled with a flaming burn, my screams would not stop, but no words could suffice that much, I'm hiding in a closet with my tears falling, he was going to find me… I needed to run, I need to be free.

Love,

Your Father.

My hands tremble from hatred from my father resurfacing into my life, "I thought… I got away from him," I say to myself.

"From who?" Fenris asks with a raised eyebrow.

I turn my head to him in a glare, not at Fenris, but at my father, "I will never forgive this man, I won't ever write to him, I don't want anything to do with him!" The words were practically spat out of my mouth from the anger and hatred building up inside my chest. It felt like it was moving to my arms, I wanted to punch something more than anything right now. I throw the now wadded up latter into Fenris's already alight fire. The flames engulfed the wretched paper in such greed. My shaking would not stop.

"Hawke, what-"

"You know Fenris, you try to remember the past that you forget, I'm trying to forget the past that keeps slapping me back into my face," I take a deep breath to keep from losing it. Losing it would be the worst thing to do in front of my comrades-no, my friends. Could I ever let them know my past? When looking back at Fenris his face was emotionless but I knew what I just said hurt him. Sighs, "Fenris I'm sorry, it's not your fault on what happened to me in my past, it just…" My jaw clenches and I hold in a breath.

His armored hand was on my shoulder, "You are forgiven, we do not need to talk about this if you wish." I let out my breath.

"Good, I think I might punch everything in sight if I even tried," Fenris chuckled behind me and clanked out his wine bottle and held it up for me. "Don't mind if I do," I say with such sarcasm. When the wine bottle touches my lips I take a long sip of it and hand it back, "it's disgusting." Fenris's face left me laughing until morning.