A little Christmas two shot.
I will be carrying on with Ice Cold Heart after Christmas I just needed a little break from it for a while.
Hope you enjoy this little bit of fluff.
Chapter 1
Olivia hung up the phone and sat in silence for a while.
"You okay Liv?" asked Munch as he watched her.
"Erm …. Yeah. I need to pop out for a little why. Can you cover for me?" she asked the older Detective.
"Yeah, sure," he said narrowing his eyes as he watched her put her coat on and grab her hat and scarf. "You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good…. I just need to meet someone….. I shouldn't be long," she said wrapping her scarf around her and walking out the squad room.
"Liv okay?" asked Fin as he walked in a minute later. "She just totally blanked me as she stormed past me."
"I don't know," said Munch. "She took a phone call then asked me to cover for her while she went out. She was acting a little weird."
"You don't think it was Stabler on the phone do you?"
Munch shook his head. "She was quiet on the phone, if it had been Elliot she would have been a lot more verbal."
"Yeah I guess," said Fin sitting down and looking over at Olivia's desk and to the photo of Elliot and Eli that Olivia had kept when she had packed up Elliot's desk six months earlier. Nobody had mentioned the photo or Elliot since to her.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
She took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves before she pushed open the door and entered the warm coffee shop, Christmas music was playing in the background and decorations hung everywhere. She shook the snow from her coat and pulled off her snow covered hat as she looked around. She spotted the person she was there to meet sat in the far corner. He stood up when he saw her walking towards him and smiled as she undone her coat and pulled her scarf off.
"Thanks for meeting me," he said giving her a small shy smile.
"Yeah well you kind of took me by surprise," she said standing looking at him. "And I wasn't sure what else to say."
"Yeah…I guess I was the last person you were expecting call from."
"You can say that again….. Without being blunt and coming straight to the point, why exactly did you want to meet me?"
"No messing huh," he smiled as he gestured to the seat. Olivia pulled it out and sat down.
"No messing," she said as the waitress came over.
"What can I get you guys?" she smiled at them.
"Just a white coffee for me thanks," said Olivia not looking away from the man across from her.
"The same for me please," he told her. The waitress nodded and walked away to get their drinks.
"So I will ask you again, what am I doing here?"
He took a deep breath before speaking "Well we only have one person in common…..My Dad," said Dickie giving her a small smile. He stopped smiling when he saw Olivia wasn't smiling and glaring at him.
"Is he okay?" she asked him.
"Yeah he is fine….."
Olivia nodded and went to stand up. "Then I don't need to be here."
Dickie stood up quickly and reached out grabbing her hand. "Please don't go," he said holding onto her hand. "When I say he is okay, what I mean is he is better than he was six months ago…"
Olivia stood still making no attempt to move.
"But he will never be fully okay until… Until you are back in his life," he said as the waitress came back and put the drinks down looking at them both.
"Is everything okay here?" she asked them looking down at Dickie's hand which still had a grip on Olivia's.
"Please just stay, drink your coffee and hear me out," he begged her.
"You okay?" the waitress asked her as Dickie released her hand.
"Yeah, I'm fine thanks," she said sitting back down.
Dickie let out the breath he was holding and took his seat. "Thank you," he said to her.
"You have till I finish my coffee to say what you need to say," she told him.
Dickie nodded and took a quick drink of his coffee.
"Okay, first of all you have to know Dad doesn't know I am here. Well he knows I'm in New York but not meeting with you. He thinks I'm just here to pick up Eli before we go and spend Christmas with him," he said looking at Olivia. "Him and Mom, they are getting divorced, it should be finalised any day now."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Thanks for saying, but none of us kids are and neither are Mom and Dad….. Especially Dad," he said giving her an awkward smile. "It seems whilst Dad took his vows seriously despite any feelings he may or may not have had for …. For …. Well let's just say Mom didn't have the same values. She had been having an affair for months."
Olivia saw the anger on Dickie's face. "All those times she accused Dad of cheating on her, even I did," he said to her thinking back to when he had asked Olivia if she had ever slept with her partner.
"After the shooting at the station Dad went straight to a bar and got drunk. Mom had text him when he was at the bar to ask what time he was going to be home, she didn't know what had happened at the station. Dad just replied that he was going to be at work all night and for her not to wait up for him. We were all staying up at Granma's that night. Ever since you went to see her and got her to help Kathleen her and Dad have became a lot closer…"
Olivia couldn't help but smile at this.
"Any ways Dad got drunk then he must have decided to go home. He staggered in about three in the morning. Mom didn't hear him coming in. The first time she realised he was home was when he was stood in the doorway to the bedroom looking at her in their bed with another man having sex…"
"Jesus," said Olivia.
"Yeah," said Dickie. "Dad apparently just stood there and laughed shaking his head, before he turned around and left. He didn't say anything to her or Gary; he just went downstairs and left….. That was the last time he set foot in the house."
Olivia leant forward on the table. "Why didn't he call me, or answer his phone, I had been calling him all day and all night."
Dickie looked down into his coffee "I think he was just embarrassed, pissed off and hurt. I mean he had just had the worst day ever at work and then….. Then he caught Mom with another guy. All he wanted to do was get away from everyone and everything, he wasn't thinking straight. He went to stay in a hotel whilst he sobered up, then he got Grandpa's motorbike out the garage, said goodbye to us kids and explained he would be in touch when he sorted his head out… I have never seen him like that before; it was like all the fight he used to have was gone."
"He could have come to me, he wasn't the only one affected that day."
"I know that, but you didn't come home and find the woman…. The woman…..You….."
"The woman you love," she finished off for him.
Dickie shook his head. "No the woman you went back to because of a mistake you made. Don't get me wrong Dad loves Eli, but if he hadn't got Mom pregnant he would never have got back with her. He went back to Mom despite what he felt for…. For you".
Olivia sighed and put her cup down. "Look Dickie, I know you have this thing in your head that something happened between me and your Dad, you made yourself real clear in the interview room that day….. But nothing," she said staring at him. "And I mean nothing, happened between me and your dad."
Dickie smiled at her. "I know that but it doesn't mean the feeling weren't there. However unlike my Mother, you and Dad had more respect for his marriage vows, us kids and each other," he told her. "But that doesn't mean that, that neither of you had feelings for each other."
Olivia stared at Dickie before pushing her chair back and standing up. "I think I should go," she said as she started to put her coat on.
"Please don't," he said standing. "Just let me finish."
Olivia shook her head. "I don't need this and your Dad shouldn't have sent you here to do his dirty work."
"I already told you he doesn't know I am here. He would kill me if he knew."
"Well that's fine, I won't be telling him. I mean how could I? He never answers when I call. He doesn't reply to emails or text messages…." She grabbed her hat and scarf from the table and turned walking towards the door. "This conversation is over," she said over her shoulder."
"Do you love my Dad?" yelled Dickie as she got to the door making her stop and the coffee shop fell into silence. She turned to see everyone staring at her.
"What?" she snapped.
"Do you love my Dad?" he asked again. "It's a simple question Olivia. I mean you worked with him for almost 13 years. You saved his life I don't know how many times. You protected me and Kathleen. Hell you even saved my Mother and brother. You spent more time with him than we did…"
"We were Partners…." She told him stepping towards Dickie again and away from the door. "It was my job to do all that."
"Do you love my Dad?" he asked again as he watched her getting flustered.
"You know what…. It doesn't matter what I do, did or didn't feel for your dad. He made it perfectly clear how he felt when he left without a word. So I don't know what you're trying to do here Dickie, but please just stop and go home," she said putting her hat on and walking to the door.
"He loves you!" he shouted after her as she opened the door. "He loves you and misses you."
Olivia turned and looked at him, tears in her ears. "It's too late," she told him walking out the door and letting it close behind her.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Olivia stormed into the squad room the next morning and threw her coat onto her desk knocking over the small Christmas tree that sat on her desk. Munch and Fin just watched her in silence as she went over to the coffee machine and made herself a cup before sitting down at her desk never saying a word.
They carried on watching her as she stared at the photo of Elliot and Eli.
"Erm everything okay Liv?" asked Munch giving her a smile. "On this beautiful Christmas Eve."
"Fine, why wouldn't it be," she snapped. "And you don't celebrate Christmas, so why are you so happy."
"I know I don't but I just figured saying it might cheer you up a bit I mean you leave here yesterday in a rush, don't turn back up till this morning. You look like shit and like you could kill someone."
"I'm fine," she said slamming the photo of Elliot face down on her desk and the all heard the glass crack.
"Yeah of course you are," he said shaking his head and looking at Fin who just shrugged. "I take it your change in mood has something to do with who you were talking to on the phone before you left."
She sighed and picked up a file. "Just let it go John, for once in your life just let it go!" she said as she started to read the file.
An hour later Cragen walked in to a silent office. He stood in the middle of the desks looking between his detectives who were reading files and not talking.
"Everything okay?" he asked them.
"Apparently everything s just fine," said Munch nodding towards Olivia.
"Olivia, you okay?" Cragen asked her. Olivia lifted her head and glared at him.
"Yes," she snapped. "I'm fine….. Just fucking fine, never been happier….. Now can you all just leave me alone," she said pushing her chair back and storming out the office.
They all watched her leave barging her way through the middle of Rollins and Amaro nearly knocking Rollins to the floor.
Munch went to get up and follow her but Cragen put his hand on his shoulder. "I will go," he smiled down at him. "I have an idea what the problem may be."
"I think we all know what or rather who the problem is," grunted Fin as Cragen grabbed Olivia's coat and followed her out of the squad room.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Here," he said handing her her coat as she turned and faced him as he walked towards her.
"Thanks," she said taking it from him and putting it on quickly as the snow became a little heavier.
"Sooooo, I hear the meeting with Dickie didn't go well yesterday?"
Olivia's head shot up. "You knew about that?"
Cragen nodded. "Dickie called me last night and came around to mine."
"What the hell for?"
Cragen smiled "He just wanted to talk….. I have, well I have been in touch with him and his sisters since Elliot put his papers in."
Olivia glared at him. "What and you never told me?"
Cragen shrugged "There was no need to; there was nothing to tell you. You were moving on with your life without Elliot. The kids just wanted to let me know where he was in case I needed to get hold of him for any paper work."
"So why didn't you tell me," she yelled. "You know how worried I was, I was going out of my mind not knowing if he was okay. And all this time you were in touch with his kids."
"Because at the time I was asked not to tell you," he told her. "Elliot needed time to sort himself out."
"Yeah and by the sounds of it the prick has done that and still has other people doing his work for him. Well you know what, he can go to hell. I have moved on and I don't need Elliot fucking Stabler in my life anymore," she said as the tears rolled down her cheeks betraying her words.
"Of course you don't," said Cragen reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a small box and an envelope. "From now, you have the week off," he told her. Olivia went to protest but he held his hand up to silence her. "You need the break, I don't want to see you till the New Year at least," he said as they both looked down at the box in his hands and the envelope. "Dickie wanted to give you this yesterday but you stormed out before he had the chance. What you decide to do with the contents is up to you," he said handing them to her.
Olivia just looked without reaching for them making Cragen chuckle.
"It won't bite you," he laughed as she eventually took it from him. "I will see you in the new year," he said rubbing her arm. "Have a good Christmas no matter what you do," he said walking away and leaving her alone on the roof as the snow continued to fall. Olivia took a deep as she looked down to her hands.
"Shit," she said under her breath before walking towards the doorway and back into the warmth of the station.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Liv okay?" asked Fin as Cragen came into the squad room and went straight over to get a coffee and warm up.
"Don't know," he said taking a drink. "I have put her on a week's leave, told her I don't want to see her till New Year."
"This all have something to do with that phone call and her pissed off mood?"
Cragen just nodded.
"So will she come back after New Year a little happier?" asked Munch.
Cragen shrugged. "Honestly I don't know, I guess that all depends."
"Depends on what?" asked Munch.
"On what happens in the next few minutes," he said sitting on the edge of Olivia's desk.
Amaro and Rollins looked at each other and then around the office. "Does someone want to tell us what the hell is going on?"
"Well don't look at us," said Fin. "We are as lost as you are right now."
They all looked at Cragen who said nothing and carried on drinking his coffee as his four detectives went silent and carried on working.
They all jumped a few minutes later when the squad room door burst open and Olivia hurried through.
"Fin …..Munch!" she shouted as she pulled open her drawer and threw her weapon in and slammed it shut locking it. "In fact any of you I don't care who, grab your keys, I need a lift," she said checking though her bag.
They all looked at Cragen who just smiled and kept drinking his coffee.
"Well come on," she said raising her voice and getting annoyed as they all just sat there. "One of you…. Move your ass."
Munch stood up and grabbed his keys.
"You want to tell me where the hell we are going and why the rush?"
"I need to get to the airport," she told him.
"The airport…. Why?" asked Fin.
"I need to catch my flight to Canada," she said grabbing hold of Munches hand and dragging him out of the squad room. They all turned to look at Cragen again.
"Canada," said Amaro.
"What the hell is in Canada?" asked Rollins.
Fin just smiled and shook his head "Not what who," he chuckled as Cragen raised his cup of coffee to him.
"And hopefully that who will put a smile back on her face," he said before walking into his office and closing his door behind him.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Elliot, thanks for this tonight, I would have been well and truly screwed if you hadn't stepped in. That stomach bug has wiped out half my staff."
Elliot smiled at him as he finished pouring the beer and placed it on the tray for the young waitress.
"Yeah well I owe you, Rick. And I would have felt a total prick saying no especially as I'm living in one of your cabins and you gave me this job out of pity," he laughed.
"You don't owe me anything Man, I told you before you were there for me in Iraq this is just repaying that debt."
Elliot shook his head as the waitress came back with another order.
"Yeah and I told you I was …."
"….only doing my job," laughed Rick. "Yeah so you have said a thousand times."
Elliot looked at his watch and then around the busy bar, before reaching for the bottle whisky and pouring it into the glass.
"Where your kids okay about you working tonight?"
"Yeah they were fine. The older ones understood and Eli just asked me to make sure I was home before Santa arrived as we all had to be in bed otherwise he wouldn't leave any presents. I really appreciate you giving me the next few days off to be with them."
Rick shrugged and took another order from a different waitress. "You deserve it Stabler after the year you have had. Take the next few days with those kids and decide what you want for the future…..You can't hide up here forever."
Elliot just looked at him as he handed the tray of drinks over.
"You trying to get rid of me?" he asked him.
"No, I just don't think serving drinks dressed in a cowboy hat and jeans in a small bar is what you had planned for the rest of your life."
"What you don't think I look good like this?"
"I think you look great," winked one of the waitresses smirking at as she leant on the bar.
Elliot grinned and leaned on the bar facing her.
"And I told you Molly your about 20 years to young for me."
"Yeah, I'm also blond, not tall enough and not a New York Detective," she smirked back.
Elliot shook his head, "Go and get some orders," he told her throwing a drinks mat at her, which she dodged before turning away from him and heading through the crowd and across the dance floor.
Elliot pushed himself up and rested his hands on the bar dropping his head down as he took a deep breath. He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Molly has a big mouth, go take a break," said Rick. "And for fucks sake will you please call her," he told his friend.
Elliot looked at him his eyes shining with tears. "I can't, it's too late. I left it to long," he told him. "She has probably moved on, got on with her life without me in it, and doing a lot better for it."
"Or she could be sat at home alone, on Christmas Eve hoping that you call. Do us both a favour and call her. I mean what more damage can you do to your relationship with her? You already took off and ignored her for 6 months, without telling her what the hell happened. What's the worse she can do….. Hang up, tell you to go to hell. At least she isn't stood in front of you, so she can't shoot you."
"More likely to kick me in the nuts or punch me," he said trying to smile before taking a deep breath. "I just feel like I let her down, the way I left and never called her. She deserved so much better than that….God I am such an inconsiderate bastard," he said turning and leaning back on the bar, taking off his cowboy hat and running his fingers through his hair.
"Maybe you are, but you were going through a lot shit that you had to sort out by yourself first. Elliot you wouldn't have done any good pouring out your feelings to her after the shooting and finding out about Kathy. You could have handled it better I will give you that. You could have let her know you were okay and would be in touch after you sorted your head out. But you didn't and there's nothing you can do to change that now. All you can do is make that move to talk to her and hope she will let you explain."
Elliot nodded and looked over at his friend. "I'm gonna take that break," he said pushing away from the bar and grabbing his phone from under the counter. I won't be long."
"Take as long as you need," smiled Rick as Elliot pulled on his thick coat and headed towards the back of the bar and the door outside.
The cold air hit him as he went outside the cold stinging his face and catching his breath. He closed the door and stepped to the side leaning against the building, trying his best to stay out of the snow which was falling heavy again. He looked down at his phone his finger hovering over the number one key where he had stored Olivia's number when he got his new phone.
"Okay….here it goes," he said to himself as he pressed the button and he held the phone to his ear. He listened to it ringing his heart racing and his mouth felt dry it rang a few times, then the voice he hadn't heard in over 6 months spoke to him.
"Hi this is Detective Olivia Benson, please leave a message after the beep and I will get straight back to you…" Beeeeep!
"Shit," he cursed as the answering service kicked in.
"Erm….Hi Liv…..It's me, it's Elliot. I was Err; I was hoping to talk to you. I well….. I wanted to …to…..Fuck!" he sighed and took a deep breath. "I was just hoping to talk to you….So I could say….. I could… I'm Sorry," he said not knowing what else to say. "I'm a prick and I'm sorry. Please call me so you can shout at me, tell me yourself how much of a prick I am, punch me…..kick me in the balls… Just please call me ….And Liv….."
He never got to finish as the message service cut him off.
"Fuck!" he said hanging up and staring at the phone debating whether to call again and finish what he wanted to say. He decided against it and dialled his home number instead.
"Hello."
"Hey Maureen," he replied as his oldest daughter answered. "Just calling to check you are all okay?"
"We are fine Dad, just sitting playing monopoly and drinking hot chocolate."
"I wish I was there with you guys, I'm so sorry I had to work."
"It's okay we all understand, you couldn't let Rick down. And let's face it at least we know you're going to be safe tonight, not much danger in serving beer."
"Oh I don't know, some of the women we get in here are little scary," he said making her laugh. "How's Eli, is he pissed that I'm not there."
"He's okay. Dickie let him help him carry the wood in and put it on the fire…. But don't worry, we were careful."
"Okay," he said nodding. "Hopefully I won't be too much longer. Make sure all the doors are locked and don't go outside anymore tonight. Me and Rick saw paw prints out there a few days ago."
"Oh great ….." she said shocked. "And you didn't think to mention this earlier. It's not as though you living in a log cabin in the middle of the woods isn't scary enough to start with."
Elliot chuckled "Why do you think I didn't tell you. I couldn't risk putting you guys off from coming up here."
"That never would have happened Dad. This is the only place we want to be this Christmas."
"That's good to hear Sweetheart."
"There is a little guy hanging on my leg wanting to talk to you," she laughed. "We will all probably be in bed the time you get home. We are all so tired from the walk we done earlier. We made some pizzas and pasta and saved some for you," she told him as Eli pulled on her jumper, wanting to talk to his dad."I'm gonna put the Munchkin on now," she told him.
"Okay, I will see you all in the morning," he said before she handed the phone to Eli.
"Hey Daddy," said Eli.
"Hey Little Man everything okay?"
"Yeah, I put the logs on the fire," he said excitedly.
"So I heard, that was very grown up of you."
"Uh huh," he said back. "Dickie said we were the men of the house when you weren't there, so we have to look after the girls."
"Well Dickie is right," smiled Elliot. "But I will be home soon," he told him.
"How long Daddy, cause Santa is on his way and he won't leave presents if we aren't all in bed before he gets here."
"Don't worry kiddo I will be home before then," he promised unable to hide the smile at his son's innocence.
"Well you better," he warned him. "Cause I asked Santa for a sled so we can go and play on it tomorrow."
"You did huh?"
"Yup, and I'm so excited."
"Well I guess I should get back to work so I can get home on time then, and you should go to bed as well it looks like we will have a busy day tomorrow."
"Okay Daddy, Night, Night."
"Good night Buddy, I love you."
"Love you to Daddy," he said hanging up.
Elliot shook his head smiling and put his phone back in his pocket. The one good thing to come out of the last six months was how close he had become with his kids again.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Olivia closed her phone and put it in her bag quickly wiping away at the tear on her cheek.
"Hey Honey, you okay?" asked a young blonde waitress.
"Yeah, I'm good thanks, real good," she smiled.
The waitress looked at her. "Do I know you?"
Olivia shook her head. "No, I mean I doubt it, I have never been up here before."
"Hmmmm, you look familiar," she said handing her a menu and Olivia just shrugged. "So can I get you a drink whilst you're looking at the menu?"
"Sure a beer would be good," the waitress nodded and walked away as Olivia looked around the room from the booth she sat in that faced the bar. She put the menu down not even looking at it, her stomach felt like there was a circus in it, she was so nervous. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe she should have stayed in New York. She reached up and her fingers grasped the pendant on the necklace that had been in the envelope Cragen had given her. She lifted it up and smiled at the words on Semper Fidelis. All worries she had about coming here drifted away.
"Always faith full," she whispered closing her eyes and dropping the necklace back inside her top.
"Everything okay now," she heard the man behind the bar ask someone.
"As good as it can be," she heard another voice answer. A voice up until two minutes ago on an answer phone message she hadn't heard for six months. She slowly opened her eyes and without looking towards the voice slowly slid out of the booth.
Elliot shrugged off his coat, shook off the snow before hanging it up on the coat rack in front of a large mirror. He lifted his head and froze at the image he saw behind him.
"Liv," he whispered to himself his body beginning to shake. He slowly turned around to face her, their eyes locking on each other as they both just stood staring, neither of them moving.
"Yo! Stabler! ….. Snap out of it people need drinks," said Molly banging her hand on the bar top. Elliot ignored her, his eyes fixed on Olivia, his mouth slightly open in shock at seeing her stood there. Rick lifted his head from the beer he was pulling and over to Elliot after he heard Molly shouting. He saw Elliot just stood staring across the bar and followed his friend's eyes, smiling when he saw where and who they were fixed on.
"Well I'll be damned," he grinned as he looked between his best friend and the brunette he had heard so much about.
"Stabler!" yelled Molly again.
"Molly….." said Rick shaking his head. "Leave it."
"But I need drinks."
"I will sort it," he smiled as Elliot finally started walking across the bar towards her.
Olivia watched him as he walked towards her slowly, her whole body shaking with nerves. He looked good, in his black jeans, white shirt and a black cowboy hat and the large silver buckle on his belt. He had lost a little weight over the months and toned down a little which looked really good on him.
He got closer and stopped just in front of her. She looked over his shoulder and saw the barman and blonde waitress staring at them.
"Hey," he said quietly not knowing exactly what to say to her.
Olivia stared down at the floor unable to look at him now he was stood in front of her. She licked her lips and gently nibbled on her bottom lip.
"Liv… Olivia….how did you, I mean what are you doing here, how did you know…."
"You're a prick," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear cutting him off mid sentence.
"What?"
"You're a fucking prick and I should kick you in the balls for what you have done," she said lifting her head slightly but still not meeting his eyes as she repeated the words he had left in his voice mail.
"I am…..and you should," he agreed. "I was an idiot Liv."
"Yes you were," she snapped finally looking him in the eyes. "I was your partner, I was supposed to be your friend," she said her anger levels rising. "Six fucking months and nothing, six months of me thinking you hated me and it was my fault you left. Six months of…."
"Liv stop, none of this was your fault," he said reaching out for her but she slapped his hand away.
"Don't," she snapped. "Don't touch me…. God you are such a bastard."
"You don't think I know that," he said reaching for her again. This time she didn't pull away as he took hold of her hand. "You don't think I don't hate myself for leaving like I did and not getting in touch."
"I should shoot you for what you have done," she told him and Elliot smiled a little at her words.
"I wouldn't blame you if you did," he said linking his fingers through hers. "But I would rather you heard me out before you did."
Olivia nodded and looked down at their joined hands but made no move to pull away.
"So which of my kids told you where I was?"
"Dickie, he asked me to meet him. He told me what happened with Kathy after the shooting. I got so angry having to hear it from your son. I lost my temper and stormed away from him."
"So how did you end up here?"
Olivia left go of his hand and reached into her pocket taking out the envelope with the note and Christmas card in it.
"He gave this to Don along with a plane ticket."
Elliot took the envelope from her and Olivia noticed his hands were shaking as he opened it and took out the card and letters. One letter in his writing the other in Dickies.
"Dickie explains in his letter that he found this card and letter the last time he was up here. How he told you to send it, but you told him that I didn't need you anymore, and I was better without you…. Well I got news for you Stabler, I'm not."
"Liv …"
"No," she said lifting her hand and stopping him talking. "You had six months to talk to me and didn't, so right now you can shut the hell up and listen to me," she told him.
"Thirteen years we were partners…. Thirteen. How the hell could you even think I would hate you? You should have come to me the night you found that bitch in bed with someone else and I would have had your back, I would have been there for you. But instead you took off without a word and that hurt, more than you will ever know. Then to have Cragen tell me you handed your papers in… You took the fuckin coward's way out Stabler. You ran away from everything all your problems, all your friends and me… You left me!" she yelled and Elliot's head snapped to the side, his cowboy hat falling off as her hand connected with his face.
"Ouch," said Molly wincing as everyone in the bar watched the two of them.
"Better than a kick in the nuts," laughed Rick.
Elliot turned his head back and stared at Olivia not knowing what to do as his eyes filled with tears.
"Dammit Stabler," she said grabbing the front of his shirt. "Do I have to do everything?" she asked him grabbing hold of his shirt and pulling him to her and before he could speak her lips were on his.
Elliot stumbled forward as her lips connected with his, soft and gentle just like in his dreams. Elliot just let her kiss him as he stood there shocked, unable to take everything in that was happening.
Olivia realised he wasn't kissing her back and started to panic as she moved her head back slightly and looked down at the floor.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I thought that…..Well I read the letter and card and thought…..Shit," she said stepping back from him when he didn't speak. "I should…I'm gonna go…."
Elliot reached out and cupped the back of her neck. "Don't go," he said his voice deep and low as he pulled her towards him again.
"But….."
"But nothing," he said dipping his head and kissing her softly his lips barely touching hers. "You just caught me surprise," he breathed against her lips."I mean one minute I'm leaving you a message praying you would call me. The next your stood in front of me shouting at me, slapping me, then kissing me….It was all a bit much," he smiled dropping his forehead to hers.
She smiled back as she felt the fingers of his other hand find hers.
"I guess I did come on a bit strong."
"No more than I deserved, the slap I could have done without, but the kiss," he said biting his bottom lip. "That was perfect, even if I did just stand there like a complete idiot."
Olivia lifted her head and looked into his eyes, before looking around the bar seeing people still staring at them.
"We are being watched," she smiled.
"Yeah, they are probably all trying to get a look at this woman I have been going on and on about for the last six months."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, Instead of me listening to the customers problems I seemed to tell them all mine," he chuckled making her laugh. "So what now Liv?" he asked her as he stopped laughing and looked into her eyes.
"Well, I think you should buy me a drink….Cowboy," she told him as she bent down and picked up his cowboy hat and put it on his head. "And we need to talk, however I don't want to go into everything tonight, I read your letter so I know a lot of what went on. It's Christmas Eve, let's just relax and try and have fun."
"I reckon I could do that, if that's what you want?"
"It is….. So come on I need a drink and something strong," she said leading him to the bar and climbing up on the bar stool. Elliot went to sit next to her. "Oh no you don't," she said pushing him off the stool. "Unless I'm mistaking your still working, so get your ass back behind the bar."
"Liv I don't think Rick would mind if I had a drink with you."
"Well I would, now get behind the bar and serve me," she winked at him.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
They both wrapped their arms around themselves as they stepped out the warm bar into the cold night. It was still snowing and the temperature had dropped again.
"Soooo, I never asked you which hotel you booked into. Not that there is many to choose from," he said looking over at her.
They had sat for almost an hour talking about anything other than the shooting and why Elliot just upped and left. Olivia had gotten most of her answers from his note and card so all she wanted to do was catch up on what he had been doing since then. All the rest could wait for another day. All she cared about was she was with him and he was okay.
"I'm not," she said looking back at him. "I didn't really think it all through when I jumped on the plane. I haven't got a thing with me," she chuckled. "So I guess you should take me to the nearest hotel and I will see what rooms they have."
Elliot reached down and took hold of her hand as they walked into the parking lot at the side of the bar.
"It was only so I knew which one to call and cancel the reservation," he told her. "If you think I am letting you go to stay in some hotel room on Christmas Eve when I haven't seen you for six months then you're wrong. Your coming home with me."
"I was hoping you would say that," she said as they stopped by a black pick-up truck.
"Should I follow you in my rental?" she asked pointing over to the small car further back.
Elliot shook his head. "It will be okay here, that little thing would never make it down the track," he told her opening the door for her. Olivia brushed past him to climb in and Elliot put his hand on her arm stopping her. "I'm so happy you are here," he told her lifting his hand and brushing her hair out of her face. "I thought I was dreaming when I saw you in the mirror standing behind me."
She smiled a little as he cupped her cheek his fingers were cold as his thumb brushed lightly over skin.
"Thank you for taking that step that I was too scared to take," he said as he dipped his head forward and kissed her softly their cold lips barely touching. "Because as much as I tried to deny it over the last few months….. I…. I need you."
Olivia didn't say anything back she just deepened the kiss as Elliot pushed her back against the open door of the truck as the kiss became more urgent. Olivia grabbed his coat and pulled him to her their bodies pressing together as close as they could with their thick coats. She moaned into his mouth as she felt his tongue slide in and find hers touching it lightly, sending shivers though her body that had nothing to do with the freezing temperatures.
When she had thought about kissing Elliot in the past and there had been plenty of those times, she always figured it would feel strange and a little weird because they had been partners for so long. But this wasn't strange, or weird, it was…..It was perfect, like it was meant to be, like their lips were meant to be joined like this, his tongue stroking hers so softly, yet so passionately. It was the perfect kiss.
Elliot pulled back from her gasping slightly for breath as he watched her face. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing hard, her eyes still closed.
"Liv," he almost whispered. "You okay?"
"Hmmmm," she murmured slowly opening her eyes and fixing them on his. "I'm perfect," she smiled.
Elliot nodded "We should get going," he said his voice breaking slightly as he looked at her. "I'm under strict instructions to be home before Santa does his rounds otherwise he won't leave any presents," he said stepping back and leaving room for her to climb into the truck.
Without another word she climbed into the truck and Elliot slammed the door closed. He quickly ran around to the front and brushed off as much of the loose snow as he could from the window before climbing into the driver's seat. He looked over at Olivia who was sat still and staring out the window as he started the truck, he would have been a little worried by her silence if it wasn't for the small smile on her lips.
He slowly pulled the truck out of the parking lot the fresh snow crunching under the tyres and headed out of town.
"You know what," said Olivia finally breaking the silence after a few minutes of driving. "I must have been a good girl this year, because after that kiss… I reckon Santa gave me my present early," she said finally looking over at him and grinning.
Elliot grinned back before fixing his eyes back on the road ahead. "I got my gift as soon as I saw you in the mirror," he told her as the truck got darker when they left the lights of the town behind them and headed into the mountains. After a mile or so Elliot turned off the main road and onto a small track through the trees just wide enough for the truck.
"Jesus Elliot where the hell are you living?"
"Its Ricks vacation cabin. He normally rents it out in the summer to families who enjoy doing outdoor activities, like walking, mountain biking, kayaking, and fishing. Then in the winter people hire it for skiing and ice climbing, stuff like that. But when I needed somewhere to stay, he cancelled the few bookings he had and let me have it."
"You must be close for him to do that?"
Elliot nodded in the darkness. "We are. We have always been there for each other when we really needed it, and I will tell you all about that sometime," he said as the truck came out the trees and into a large opening surrounded by trees. In the middle was a large wooden two floor cabin all lit up with white lights.
"Wow," she gasped. "It's like something out of a fairy tale."
"That's just what Eli and Lizzy said the first time they came here. All the kids love it, they couldn't wait to spend Christmas here with me, which pissed off Kathy quite a bit," he smiled as the truck came to a stop. "Come on, let's get inside and get warmed up this place has a huge log fire," he said climbing out the truck and closing the door. He walked around to the front of the truck and looked in the window at Olivia. She was just sitting there staring ahead not moving. He walked around and opened the door.
"You coming?" he asked her. She shook her head not moving.
"I can't," she mumbled. Elliot just looked at her puzzled.
"What do you mean you can't?"
"God I am so stupid, this is why I never do anything on impulse. Why I always plan everything."
"Liv what are you going on about?"
"I never even thought about your kids. How this would affect them, me just turning up, on Christmas Eve. You probably have all these plans for tomorrow, to celebrate the day with them and I turn up out the blue, no warning, spoiling everything."
"Whoa….stop okay," he said cupping her face and turning her head to face him. "You aren't spoiling anything. This isn't just out of the blue….. Well for me it is but my kids are the ones that bought that plane ticket, right?"
Olivia nodded into his hands.
"Which means they wanted you to come, they planned and hoped you would use that ticket. If you ask me, Christmas will be spoilt a lot more for them if they wake in the morning and find out you were here and left."
"But….."
"No buts Liv. Yes I have plans for tomorrow, but they will be a lot better now you're here, celebrating with us."
"Your sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. Now will you please get your ass out the truck cause I'm freezing mine off stood out here," he said holding out his hand to her.
She took it and climbed out as he slammed the door closed behind her.
"We can't have that," she said as he led her to the front door.
"Have what?"
"Your ass freezing off," she chuckled. "It's one of your best assets," she laughed as she left loose of his hand and slipped it over his ass squeezing his butt cheeks and making him jump.
"That's exactly what I thought about yours for the last 13 years," he said nudging her as he put the key in the door and opened it, noticing how her hand still cupped his ass, as the warmth from inside the cabin hit them as they walked in.
Part 2 will be up by Christmas Eve. It will be rated M by then, because I just can't help myself.
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