Disclaimer: I do not own CSI!
AN: so I should mention that this is kinda like a challenge-fic. It was an assignment in my writing class (of course not writing a GSR fic but I figured since writing class was the only place where I had time to write I'd just turn it into a GSR fic). It's not one of my better fics but I figured I could post it anyway, never be ashamed of what you wrote ;) lol
Thanks to Rhee for beta-reading!!
Warning about the Warning: if you read the Warning it might spoil the fic...
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Warning: this fic deals with a CD but it is only a nightmare about a CD... so.. yeah... you've been warned.
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Nightmare
Clay starts to bark when he hears the front door close and he runs over to him, wagging his tail. Suddenly he stops as if he expected someone else. He sits down and tilts his head to the side, staring at the door.
"She's not coming home, Buddy." Grissom sighs and pets the dog's head.
Clay doesn't move, still waiting for Sara to enter. Usually she'd be here by now, she'd call out his name and feed him some treats. He doesn't understand why today it's different.
"Give it up Clay, she's dead." There – for the first time he speaks it out and as he realizes it tears start to run down his cheeks relentlessly. How is he supposed to live his life without her? He drops down on his knees in front of the dog and holds on to him for support. He never thought anything could hurt so much, the pain is tearing him up inside, it's unbearable and all he wants is to scream, scream until it stops but will it ever stop? How could it ever stop?
But then, all of a sudden he can hear her voice. "Hey Hun, I thought you'd never come home." There she is, standing in the middle of the room, smiling at him, that famous Sara Sidle smile that he can't live without.
Is he going insane? He had spent the last 3 hours staring at her dead body in the hospital morgue... and now she was here?
She walks over to him and as she passes the mirror she stops and takes a look at her – non existing – reflection. "Gah, how am I supposed to know if I really look like myself if I don't have a reflection?"
Okay, he is definitely going crazy!
"Sara?" He asks with a shaking voice.
"Yeah," She shrugs. "That's me."
"You... you're dead." He winces his eyes o be sure this is not just a fata Morgana. " I am losing my mind." he mutters to himself.
"Well I guess so. Although, I do feel alive... just kinda lost my body," She chuckles. "You're losing your mind and I lost my body. Now that's funny."
Grissom feels a migraine coming up. This is just his mind playing with him, isn't it? But she's there, standing right in front of him, looking just like she always did.
"Since the mirrors are not cooperating, are my breasts too big?" She stares down at her chest.
"What?" He asks in total disbelief.
"Oh well, you're the only one who can see me anyway." She shrugs.
He takes a deep breath. "Okay, let me get this straight," He pauses until he is sure that he has her attention. "You are a ghost. I can see you but nobody else can. You talk to me, I hear you but nobody else does."
"Yup," she nods.
"Why?" He asks still not quite able or willing to understand.
"Well I thought you might miss me so I thought I'd stick around." She sounds disappointed.
"Honey,... I... you have to understand that this is not easy... I just had to deal with loosing the love of my life, I mean I was staring at your dead body for hours not able to accept that I'd never see you again and then I come home to find you here...it's kinda hard to believe."
She raises her eyebrow. "Love of your life?"
He swallows hard, realizing that he had never told her this when she was still alive.
She lets herself drop down on the couch, staring at him in disbelief. "Why did you never tell me?"
"I, I actually don't know." He confesses. "I wish I had."
"I wish you had, too." she admits softly. "Because now that I don't have a body anymore I can't even kiss you." She sighs. "You were the love of my life, too, by the way."
He now hurts even more, suddenly he misses the feeling of her in his arms so much that it becomes unbearable to stand. He breaks out in tears again.
"Hey no need to cry." She tells him with soft voice. "I am here after all."
He shakes his head. "It's not enough. This is so unfair." He starts getting mad. Mad at the world, mad at Natalie, mad at himself. "It's not the same!" He cries out furiously. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to calm down. When he opens them again Sara is gone.
He starts to panic. "Sara?" No answer. "Sara?" He cries out louder. "SARA?" Even louder. Nothing. She's gone, gone for ever.
He literally feels his heart breaking all over again, knowing that this time he made her leave. It's his fault he's all alone now.
"Griss?" Hands are shaking him, her voice so familiar and close. "Griss?" she asks again. "Are you okay?"
He opens his eyes, staring at her as if she was a ghost – but she's not, he can feel her touch. He notices that he is soaked with sweat and his throat is dry and scratchy. "What's wrong?" He asks, his voice hoarse.
"You tell me," She says softly. "You were screaming out my name. You scared me." She wipes a couple of tears off his cheek. "Did you have a nightmare?"
He nods. "That's one way to describe it."
She looks like she'd want to ask more questions but then decides that it's way too late at night for a conversation like that, so she just kisses him and snuggles up closer to his chest, wrapping her arm around him.
"You're the love of my life Sara." He whispers, feeling that she is staring at him he opens his eyes again. "I mean it."
THE END
thanks for reading :)