Disclaimers: I do not own Person of Interest.
Enjoy!
Bored out of her mind, Shaw popped a piece of baked BBQ flavored potato chip into her mouth while she watches the screens from behind Harold's desk. The Machine currently had eyes on the other members of their team. Root and Reese were working together on a number as she took it easy back in the abandoned subway station. Shaw had wanted to join but Harold got to her first and asked the agent to dog sit Bear while he went to take care of some things he didn't even care to share with her. Shaw was annoyed but accepted since she loves Bear like no other. She propped her legs up onto the desk and watched Root infiltrate their system while Reese took out all the gunmen. She lifted the bag of chips up to her mouth and tried to get the remainder of the crumbs before she bunched the plastic packaging bag into her hand and threw it in the trash on the side of the work table. It was a cold and lonely evening after all with the actions happening on the other side of the screens. Shaw took a moment to look at Root's concentrated face and after a moment, she started wondering what prescription Root's glasses were. The brilliant hacker was wearing those slightly bold full frames that made her look incredibly sharp, especially when she wore that red matte lipstick. Root was dressed in a black blazer that fitted her just right and a black long sleeve underneath. Shaw contemplated teasing the perky intelligent hacker on the dark outfit but she looked down and noticed she was wearing all black too, thus she held her tongue, because it'd just be the pot calling the kettle black. Literally. Shaw was a woman of routine and she appreciated the drills, formulas, methods, procedures, and regimens she uses to organize her life. It kept things simple and easy. She observed the top screens, surveilling Root's surroundings as the computer hacker sunk her teeth tensely into the right side of her bottom lip, typing away on the computer before her. Root was always in her single-minded mode when she was working on anything technology related. Shaw didn't admit it out loud but she was slightly worried that Root and Reese might be running out of time, not being able to retrieve the data needed and erase the number's secret files completely before ten times the amount of gunmen arrive. Shaw opened a new bag of peanut butter pretzel sandwiches and started munching away at the exhilaration she felt with the way the mission was going. Root pressed down on a key real hard to signal the end of her hacking activity before standing up and pulling the two guns out from behind her that she'd kept in her waistband. Root fired away like it was nobody's business and a proud smile graced Shaw's face as she popped more peanut butter pretzel sandwiches into her mouth, munching with gusto and excitement.
"Sweetie, I can hear you crunching in my ear from all the way over here." Root's rhyme threw Shaw off for a second before she growled into the radio link. Root continued to fire her guns at the assailants as she grinned at Shaw's nonverbal response.
"This way." Reese said in his new raspy voice from catching a cold a few days before. The two made their way down a hallway and slipped behind a wall just as more men rushed past them.
"Get the hell out of there." Shaw warned sternly as the other two moved quick to get to the back exit. Shaw didn't realized she was holding in her breath until seconds later when they finally made it out of the building and back onto the busy street, easily blending in with their surroundings.
"Mission accomplished." Root's perky voice sounded as she strut over to the blue vehicle and pulled the door open, the car engine turning on immediately as she sat down in the passenger seat. Shaw rolled her eyes at the woman, seeing that the Machine had hacked into the software of the expensive car for the intelligent hacker to use without Root even asking for it. This should be the part where Shaw punch her, but she doesn't, not because she's stuck dog sitting behind Finch's desk; it's owing to the fact that they're partners now. In more ways than one. Clearly, the hacker had it so easy, but Shaw was glad that the Machine had her back. The A.I. was proving to be more human as days goes on, but nobody except Finch seems to question it. Everything worked out in the end. Well, it's not the end yet.
"How's Bear?" Root asked as Reese put the car in drive and started heading back to their underground quarters. Shaw looked at the Belgian Malinois lying completely still on the ground and watched him stare up at her with his sad brown eyes.
"He's been rendered completely docile." Shaw said as she move her feet off the table and bent down to pet him behind his sudden perked up ears.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you've drugged a person, Sameen." Root said seriously as she scrolled through the data on her phone.
"Maybe I'll take him for a walk." Shaw said absentmindedly as she stared at the leash about fifteen feet away near Bear's bed.
"It's about time you did, considering that we each have a poorly-socialized guard dog today." Root said looking over at Reese as he let out a sigh in response.
"Ooh, burn." Shaw joked as Reese scoffed into the radio link between the three of them. Shaw continued petting Bear's head before standing up and ordering him to go get his leash in Dutch. He came back five seconds later with his favorite toy instead between his teeth. Shaw raised a hand to her forehead and shook her skull at Bear for not listening to her command.
"Bear…" Shaw said with more authority in her tone. "Haal de koppelband." she commanded.
"I just love it when you take charge. You make my zygomaticus muscles contract." Root teased as John glanced over at the computer genius with an odd look.
"Seriously, Root? That was weak." Shaw tried shutting her down even though she grinned at the invite.
Bear obediently dropped the toy and ran back to his bed to grab the correct item this time around. He came back with the leash and wagged his tail happily. Shaw sighed and petted him as she picked up the toy and tossed it over to his bed. She latched the leash onto his collar and went to put her coat on. Shaw climbed the stairs and started heading out, walking side by side with Bear so he knows that he's not the alpha between the both of them. Doing so would practice good behavior for the Belgian Malinois.
"Do I even want to know where those muscles are?" John Reese asked. Both women smiled and shook their heads at the same time, not knowing the other was doing the same. Reese stopped a block away from their underground quarters, considering how fast he sped to get back. Root saw Shaw and Bear walking halfway down the block and she waved ecstatically when she spotted them. Shaw rolled her eyes at the woman. She wouldn't admit it, but she did miss the hacker with her being physically absent for the last four days. Root came to work with Reese immediately as soon as she got back from Milan, and for the first time, Shaw was sad being stuck with dog sitting duty. She had wanted to get in on the action too and check to see if Root was okay. Root walked up to Shaw slowly and turned her body before linking her right arm with Shaw's left arm.
"Did you miss me?" Root asked teasingly even though Shaw saw that she earnestly wanted to know. Shaw looked over at Reese who's also made his way over, distracted and bending down to pet the dog and not paying them any attention. Shaw gave her a slight nod in return as happiness enveloped Root's entire expression. Root leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "I missed you too." before lightly brushing her lips at the corner of Shaw's mouth. She grunted in response and Reese chose the moment to stand up and let out a deep sigh.
"Well, I'll be heading back. You two have fun." he smirked as he turned off and simultaneously took out the radio link in his ear before walking past the both of them. About half an hour later, Root and Shaw had made their way with Bear to Central Park and they found a bench to sit on as Bear sat near their feet in front of them. It was a nice day in the middle of April, and parents were walking around with their kids since it was already four in the afternoon and school had let out. It wasn't too loud since there weren't many families and the two sat together in a comfortable silence. The trees rustles and the atmosphere cleared as families retreated out of the park and back to their homes. Bear perked his ears up when a little girl stopped in front of them and looked at Bear giddily before bending down and hugging her knees looking at him. Bear tilted his head in response and stared at the little girl in a striped pink and grey long sleeve, a white skirt with black polka dots pattern, and a pair of kid size white ballet flats. She had a pink headband in her hair too and looked about five years old. Maybe four.
"Hi puppy." she said softly with a lilt of an adorable English accent before Bear whined in curiosity. Shaw look amused at their interaction while Root leaned away from the child and began slowly inching to the other end of the bench, not that Shaw didn't notice. Bear was a far cry from being a puppy and Shaw didn't know whether she should correct the kid or not.
"It's Bear." Shaw said blankly as the little girl looked up with soft brown eyes full of wonder and curiosity. "His name is Bear." Shaw explained as the little girl's smile grew wider.
"Hi Bear." the little girl said as she scooted closer to the dog.
"Bear, blijven nog." Shaw commanded for him to stay where he was as he was about to get up to sit on his hind legs. He would easily tower over the little girl and Shaw didn't want her to be scared. In her peripheral vision, Shaw saw a woman starting to walk towards them in a hurry after getting off her phone. She was wearing a light coffee color trench coat and a pair of fitted jeans, looking simple but quite sophisticated.
"Ellie, come on now. Let's go home, sweetheart." the woman said with a more pronounced English accent as she reached out her hand for the little girl to take and sent an apologetic look towards Shaw and Root. The girl took the woman's larger hand and Shaw was surprised how well-disciplined the child was, even though Shaw nearly laughed as she saw that Root had made her way off the other end of the bench and walked around to stand behind Shaw.
"May I pet Bear before we go?" the little girl asked looking up at her mom as though she could make that decision alone.
"Can she?" the lady whispered slash asked Root and Shaw. Root stayed quiet while Shaw answered yes for the both of them. Shaw looked over her left shoulder to see Root with her arms crossed and a slight frown on her face. The little girl bent down again and put a hand on top of Bear's head petting him three strokes before standing up on her tiny feet with a victorious grin.
"Good day." the woman said as little Ellie waved goodbye to the three of them before walking away and out of the park.
"Here I thought you were fearless with your two guns." Shaw smirked as Root sat down beside her again. Root's face scrunched up and scoffed as Shaw bent down to pet Bear's warm body of fur. Shaw's never thought about being around kids, or having them, or starting a family of her own, or any of that normal household stuff, but she was at least okay with them. For some reason, it just really stuck out to her like a sore thumb that Root wasn't. It surprised her even, seeing that Root was always trying to be the protector just as much as she was, and Root was so devoted, and caring, and warm, and loving that it made it easier for Shaw to see her as the maternal figure she thought Root could be. They both knew with the life that they led, it was impossible to bring an innocent, living, breathing little human into it, but still. Shaw previously thought Root wanted that. Shaw's face started to contort into unsureness as the thoughts swept through her mind so effortlessly and without much of a warning so she can brace herself for the embarrassment she felt next.
"Shaw?" Root asked as she look at her worried.
"Yeah?" Shaw responded immediately and look Root in the eye. "Yeah… Just...you know, hungry." Shaw made something up before sighing.
"Okay. Let's go grab dinner." Root said as she stood up and took the leash from Shaw's hand. They walked together in silence as the sun was going down, turning the sky an orange pink-ish color. There was a slight breeze and a hot dog stand nearby didn't even appeal to Shaw's usual appetite for junk food as the potent smell carried through the air around them.
"Are you okay with having ramen?" Root asked as she opened the door to the Japanese restaurant.
"Well, we're already here." Shaw rolled her eyes as she walked through the entrance and look around at the dimly lit room before setting her eyes at the long table to the right looking out the windows and far away from other people. She stalked over without any hesitation or asking the hostess, and Root followed, sitting down on the bar stool next to her as Bear stay well-behaved in the public setting and lie down next to Root's feet. It was one of the few Japanese restaurants that allowed pets inside. Root also liked it there because she enjoyed how almost quiet it was even with half the room filled. Root went ahead and ordered for the both of them when the server arrived, making sure to ask for a side of extra meat for Shaw. The shorter woman was still thinking quietly to herself and Root just dismissed it, seeing that it was normal for the both of them and they had been quiet almost eighty percent of the day so far.
"I think…" Shaw started and shut her mouth. She looked like she was fighting an internal battle with herself and Root figured she should give her the little push.
"What is it, Shaw?" Root said to urge her on.
"I want kids." Shaw blurted. Root's expression slowly turned into that of confusion, then recognition, and finally, aversion. "I mean, not now. Obviously. In the future. When we're retired. Not like sixty retired. More like forty retired. I mean, when I'm retired." Shaw started explaining and tripping over words like it was a slippery mess she put herself in.
Root stayed silent for half a second before uttering an "Oh..." Root's expression twisted into that of deep thought as wrinkles covered her forehead, resting her chin in the palm of her right hand as her elbow supported the weight against the table. Shaw closed her eyes and shook her head at her own stupidity for bringing it up. She thought they were comfortable enough to talk about these kinds of stuff now. It was weird, yes, but they were serious and things were going right. Obviously, she was wrong, she thought. Maybe furthering the normalcy that they already had was too much to ask of Root. She just didn't know anymore. A flashback to helping Genrika Zhirova a few years back left a big impact on her inner ability to understand herself better, and she's always kept her ears up to listen to those tuned down emotions Gen said she supposedly had since then. She listened and that had led her to be where she was with Root at this very moment. She wouldn't be able to have a kid or kids by herself. She wouldn't do it if Root's care, affection, devotion, and love wasn't a part of the plan, because Shaw knew she wouldn't be able to give as much for it to be enough if she didn't have Root to do it with her.
"For fuck's sakes… Look, just pretend I didn't say anything." Shaw said as she looked away.
"Sameen...you want to start a family with me?" Root asked after a minute passed between them and Shaw mustered all the pride that she had left to finally look back. There were tears in Root's eyes that were threatening to fall.
"Yes, Root. I want to have that with you." Shaw's gaze soften at the glistening look in Root's eyes and she let out a deep breath. "Maybe I'm ovulating or something. I don't know." Shaw tried to wave it off as she poured herself a cup of sake that the waiter had somehow brought by without interfering with their intense conversation. She downed the drink in one gulp and closed her eyes in frustration.
"But you're serious about wanting kids?" Root asked as she sat up straighter and blinked back the tears she had from earlier.
"Yeah." Shaw said as she looked outside the window over the brim of the small cup.
"You do realize I'm thirty-six and you're nearing thirty-five, right? You really want to retire in five years?" Root asked incredulously. Shaw's face screwed up in deep thought and Root thought she was finally considering what she was saying.
"How did you know my age?" Shaw asked. "Wait, don't answer that." she continued as she realized the Machine probably told her.
"Sameen." Root chided her.
"Right." Shaw said, trying to get back to topic.
"What are we going to tell the kid or kids about our past life? About the people that we killed? About the many illegal acts and treasons we've committed? About the lives that we could not save?" Root asked all at once without hesitation. Shaw exhaled deeply and shook her head as their meals were suddenly placed in front of them. Shaw pushed the bowl away and folded her arms as she leaned back into her seat looking out the window with a far away look in her eyes.
"Root…" Shaw started. "I know I've said I like the action, the combustions, and beating up bad guys...but this - this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life...not now that I found you. I never thought I could have these things before, never imagined, never dreamed, never...allowed myself for one second to see that it was possible for me…someday. Someday when it was just the two of us." Shaw stopped and looked over at Root. "The world needs saving, it always needs saving, but there's Finch, and Reese, and Lionel, and other ex-operatives She could find to train and replace us. My entire life, before all of this, was spent working so hard to put myself through college, and then medical school, and the beginning of residency, and that amounted to nothing the moment I was told I was not fit to become a doctor even with my brilliant technical skills." Shaw swallowed and looked back out the window. "I got enlisted, I sold my life away to the country, and after that, the government. I worked black ops and I was nobody. I didn't exist. I didn't matter if there wasn't a mission to complete. But I didn't mind, because I had nothing to live for anyway. I felt empty all the time and I filled that void with my job. I spent years not knowing I was working for the Machine. Then...I met you. You...and that stupid crazy smile that drove me crazy when you raised the iron up to my face." Shaw paused to chuckle. "That day...when you pulled me back onto the sidewalk to tell me that there were people that cared about me after my cover was blown...it struck me. Hard. I forgot what fear was until that day. Then every day after that, I started to become scared. Not for me. For you, Root. The Machine had you running so many dangerous errands, and I couldn't assist. Working for the Machine was...fun. Is fun. It's exhilarating and makes the adrenaline race through my veins a mile a second, but the thrill of having every day to look forward to...each and every day...with you…" Shaw turned her face to look at Root again. "That's what I live for now, Root. Doing this job… It's not important to me anymore. It's not good enough for me anymore. It was before, but something's shifted. I think...I've sacrificed enough. I sacrificed my life for others. I sacrificed myself for the greater good. I sacrificed myself for the team. This trend of self-sacrifice was positive while it lasted. But right now, I don't want to sacrifice for the Machine anymore. I don't want to be just an asset to Her. I want more. I need more." Shaw swallowed as she stared at Root with her glistening eyes. Root stayed stuck in her seat, not knowing how to respond to all of that, but she knew she could do one thing, and it was to comfort Shaw. A second later, she placed her left hand at the back of Shaw's neck and pulled Shaw into her and pressed her lips against Shaw's. Root felt the wet tears against her face and she held Shaw's face with her right hand as their eyes shut closed. Shaw kissed her back and they pulled away after several seconds, remembering they were still in public. Root brought both her thumbs under Shaw's eyes and wiped away the fallen tears. Shaw never cries, and Root knew that this was something that troubled and bothered her deeply, enough to burst the dam. Root looked into Shaw's glassy eyes and found herself sinking in that warm brown gaze that Shaw spare only for her.
"Hey, we'll figure this out. Together." Root spoke softly as she caressed Shaw's face with her hands. "And I'll think about it. I just need some time." Root said as she saw relief in Shaw's eyes. Shaw didn't want to wait for an answer, but she relented. Root leaned in to kiss her softly. "And I love you too." Root whispered against her lips before Shaw pressed her mouth more firmly against Root's. "Now eat." Root said as she pushed the bowl of ramen back in front of Shaw. Then, they ate in silence.
Three hours later, both women had quietly and awkwardly gotten ready for bed after coming home from dropping Bear off at the underground subway station. Root slipped under the sheets first as Shaw hesitated at her side of the bed but then slowly moved to climb in anyway. Root turned off her bedside lamp and Shaw didn't know if she should pick up her book and pretend to read it, but Root didn't give her much of a choice as she reached over and turned off Shaw's lamp right after.
"What are you doing?" Shaw asked quietly, uncertainty coloring the tone of her voice.
"Lie down." Root said as she gently pushed Shaw down by the shoulders and turned her away. Root spooned her from behind and noticed that Shaw stiffened in her arms. Something big was happening, and Shaw felt it in her bones. After a few minutes of complete silence, Shaw finally relaxed and Root moved in closer, her front pressed firmly against Shaw's back and her right hand found Shaw's, holding it against her chest.
"Okay." Root said into the dark, her voice sent hot hair into the back of Shaw's neck.
"Okay?" Shaw asked frowning as she felt herself being completely smush by the woman from behind her.
"Let's do it, and no take backs." Root said as she held Shaw closer against her.
"Okay." Shaw responded and finally relaxed into Root.
"Okay." Root whispered back.