Title: Things I Should've Said

Summary: Jack's bewildered when he hears Pete is about to propose to Carter. He decides to do something about it. S/J

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Stargate, or Jack.

A/N: Mild spoilers for season 8.

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"General? Sir?"

"What's wrong now Major?" Jack sighed, not looking up from the mess of documents subtly marked TOP SECRET in bright red print. Seriously, why didn't they just have a label saying 'Hey there Russian spies- look in here!'

"Sir, there's a Sergeant Shannahan requesting entrance into the facility." The Major explained.

"Who?" Jack asked, rummaging through more paper. How on earth had Hammond managed running this place without pulling his hair out? Oh, wait… that explains it then. There was useless crap lying around everywhere… reports from NASA… USAF military intel… presidential notices… ooh, coupon for a free pizza. That he could use.

"Peter Shannahan, Sir. He's Colonel Carter's… uh… friend."

Jack winced inwardly. It was bad enough to know she was with the guy… did she have to flaunt him around the SGC too?

"So tell Carter," Jack said, slowly for the Major's benefit.

"Sir, he made it clear that he didn't want her to know he was here… he wants to, uh, surprise her."

"How very quaint, bet he brought her flowers too," Jack muttered.

"He did actually Sir. He… um… intends to propose."

"Propose what?" the general asked, tossing a balled up piece of paper into the trashcan just as Teal'C walked into his office. Jack grinned.

"Teal'C! Buddy! You don't call, you don't write, what's happening?"

"I believe Peter Shannahan wishes to request for Colonel Carter's hand," the Jaffa stated, nodding politely to the Major beside him.

"What does he want with her hand? What the hell is going on! Since when did Pete Shitzuhan become so damn important?" Jack asked.

"He is here to ask for her hand in marriage O'Neill. DanielJackson told me it was a common practice among the Tau'ri to-"

"WHAT?!" Jack shot up from his desk, his dark eyes wide with surprise, and a glint of something else. "She's… what? Why? When… Why!?"

"Major. Leave us for a moment," Teal'C asked. The younger man immediately nodded, retreating out the door and closing it silently behind him.

"He's proposing to Carter? Our Carter? She's only known him for a couple of months for crying out loud! He could be an axe murderer for all we know, or worse, a Russian! What if Carter's marrying an axe murdering Russian!?"

"Are you allowing your personal feelings for Colonel Carter to impair your impression of this man O'Neill." Teal'C said, more as a statement than a question.

"No… but if I live to see him marry Carter the shit's really going to hit the fan."

Teal'C raised an eyebrow.

"I know not to what you are referring O'Neill. It seems to me that you do not trust Colonel Carter's judgement in this matter…"

"It's not that. The whole thing's wrong. Proposing at the SGC- it's stupid. Besides, he can't just expect to come waltzing in here whenever he likes, even if he does have basic clearance." Jack snapped, falling back into his chair. He shook his head, trying desperately to shake the thoughts running through his mind.

"She's too important to… to the SGC. If she marries the cop, God knows where he'll take her."

"O'Neill… if she does indeed accept Peter Shannahan's proposal, she would not leave the SGC. You will not be losing her."

"You're wrong Teal'C. I lost her a long time ago." Jack sighed, running a hand across the back of his neck.

"Major, get back in here!" Jack yelled.

"Yes sir!"

"Shannahan leaves his weapon and personals up top. I want a guard to escort him to Carter's lab. He goes nowhere past Level 19. Have someone make sure he leaves within the hour." Jack ordered.

An hour. After that things wouldn't be the same. This morning he'd had coffee with Sam Carter. She'd told him all about the new super-gizmo that she was backwards engineering. He'd told her about the new Russian recruit he wanted to strangle. He'd grinned, she'd laughed. They had been happy. When he was with her, it was so easy to forget that she was seeing someone, that she loved someone else.

"The game's on in five Teal'C. Let's go up to Communications and watch it on the big screen." Jack suggested, more for the company than for the hockey. Anything to take his mind off of Carter.

"Perhaps a little later O'Neill. I believe you need some time alone, to gain some perspective on this situation… or else the excrement will indeed hit the rotational cooling device."

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"Well, this isn't going too well…" Pete said with a forced smile.

Sam took a shaky breath, looking up at him with blue glistening eyes. "I wish I could say yes."

"Well, I'm not sorry I tried. Kinda expected it though… It started off so well, but then we're so different, aren't we? I guess I panicked when I thought I was losing you, did what I thought I had to do to keep you and proposed… we just went wrong somewhere didn't it? It wasn't the sex was it?"

Sam smiled despite the situation, "Definitely not that. I just… I can't… oh God, I'm sorry Pete."

"Hey… hey, look at me. Don't be sorry. If you're sorry, that means you have regrets, and I don't want you o ever regret our relationship."

"I don't, I never would. I just made a mistake with us, I can't marry you."

"Are you sure? This diamond's pretty big."

Sam shook her head with a smile.

"I'm sure… but we can still be…"

"Ugh, Sam don't play the friendship card, please? Keep in touch, okay? The guard outside is getting antsy, I better get going."

Pete leaned in kissing her gently on the cheek, "It's been a pleasure. I hope this isn't goodbye."

Then he was gone.

She'd been perfectly content working on a new communictions device, and then he'd suddenly been there. With flowers. With a ring. She could have said yes… she could have spent the rest of her life trying to balance herself between her team, her research, and Pete… maybe even a family. It wouldn't have been fair to him though. She cared enough to know that. He deserved someone who could love him completely… she couldn't do that when she cared so much for someone else. This wasn't just about General Jack O'Neill of course, but she knew the truth. If Jack called her a moment before her wedding and said he needed her, she'd leave give up everything for him. It was irrational of course, but it was how she felt, her curse. No wonder she couldn't make it work with Pete.

Long moments passed before she heard footsteps coming down the hall. She quickly brushed away a tear with the back of her hand.

"Carter!"

The door flung open to reveal a frazzled looking CO.

"What's wrong sir?" she asked, turning away and staring blankly at her computer screen. He obviously knew Pete had stopped by… she couldn't handle it if he was there to congratulate her on her engagement, and make stupid, endearing jokes about nothing.

He said nothing.

"Look, General if this isn't important, I'd really like to be alone right now-"

"Don't marry him."

Sam blinked, not sure if she'd heard correctly. She lifted her eyes to him, slightly puzzled. He seemed so lost, confused, unsure of what to do when he couldn't strategize himself out of a situation.

"Sir, what's this abou-"

"You can't marry him! I mean, yes, technically you can, but I won't let you. I can't let you!" He strode towards her, taking a seat at the edge of her desk, and folding his arms. He was looking everywhere but at her.

"Are you ordering me not to?" She asked, leaning back in her chair, quite amused.

"If I did, would you call off the wedding?"

Sam forced back a grin, shaking her head.

"Not if I wanted to marry him, no. Sir, legally speaking, you have no authority to control my personal-"

"Carter shhh- I don't want to hear it. I was in my office, thinking through this stuff, and these thoughts just came to me… look I made a list!" Jack pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket.

"Sir, is that SG-16's last mission report?"

"Don't worry, I wrote on the back, nobody'll notice. Okay, number one-"

"Wait, General, what's this list about?"

"Geez Carter, pay attention would ya? It's the reasons why you shouldn't be marrying Paul."

"Pete."

"Whatever. Number one… he's short."

Sam tried to contain her laughter, but it didn't work. Jack glared her into silence before returning his attention to the scrunched up piece of paper in his hand.

"Number two… he'd eat all the donuts, you know how cops are. Three, he bleeds easily- who goes down after only one hit from a hand device? Four- this place would fall apart if you left, god knows what those scientists will blow up in the labs. Five- I love you. Six- what if the naquadah generator blows up and-"

"Whoa…!" Sam stopped him mid-sentence.

"What?"

"Did you honestly just say what I think you said?"

"Well yeah Sam. If the naquadah generator was about to blow up, then having you around would probably be a good idea."

"I meant the one before that."

"Oh right… the tragic attempt to make you realize I love you so that you won't spend the rest of your life with another man?"

"With all due respect sir, you're a chickenshit." Sam laughed.

"Wow Carter, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words from you."

"It's true Sir. You'll fight your way out of impossible odds, you'd die for those you love, but when it comes to this… thing… between us, you're lost. The only reason you're here is because you figure I'm engaged and this is your last shot. If Pete hadn't proposed, then YOU wouldn't be here "

"And if that butterfly hadn't crapped in China, then the price of gas wouldn't have been lower… what's your point?"

"I said no."

"I don't speak 'women' Carter. What does that mean?"

"Do you see a diamond on my finger? I said no, to Pete. I mean I could have been happy with him… he wanted kids, and a family. He loved me, I loved him too but… I couldn't marry him because there's only room for one STUPID male in my heart. I tried to stop thinking about you, I did for a while, but it's like… it's like an orbit. The satellite, circumnavigates the planet through a mass of seemingly gaseous space, but it always comes back to the starting point."

Jack was on the verge of a migraine, "So… you're telling me I'm a gaseous space?"

"Sir, you're the one I keep wanting to come back to, no matter how hard I fight it. You're it."

Jack's look of confusion turned into a colossal grin… almost cocky.

"Great, now what have I done? I'm leaving." Sam snapped. Too much had happened today already. She was in no mood for a angsty moment with her General.

"No, wait," Jack side stepped to cut her off, only to knock over a glass orb. He heard Sam gasp as she tried to save the instrument as it plummeted to its doom- but there was no hope. It shattered onto the floor just as her hand grasped it.

"Ah!"

"Shit, Sam, you okay?" he asked, bending down to the ground with her. He took her hand, feeling a familiar warm ooze trail into his own. Great… first he'd upset her, now he'd made her bleed. If the Replicators decided to descend on Earth this very moment, then things would be going exactly according to plan.

"No I'm not okay! You broke our version of a Goa'uld communications device! Felger has been working on this for the past month!"

"I'm really sorry… I'm sure he can glue it back together…" Jack said apologetically, "We should get you down to the infirmary, this cut looks deep.

Sam didn't move, but took a steadying breath, closing her eyes. "This is not the greatest of days."

In any other situation, he'd give her a pat on the back and tell her that things would get better, possibly making reference to the Wizard of Oz while he was at it… but right now he didn't want to. Jack let his hand trail up to the side of her face. He felt his heart warm when she leaned into his touch. Not really caring if anyone walked through the door, Jack gathered her into his arms. The turmoil of emotions they shared simmered to a gentle caress. It made sense when they held each other, it always had, he just hadn't realized why. Now he knew… he loved her. Unconditionally. Even if she'd run off with Pete, and never spoken to him again, he's still love her.

"It hurts Jack," she whispered, burying her face into the crook of his neck.

He knew she wasn't talking about the hand.

"I know, I understand." he said, his lips brushing her flushed cheek.

"I don't think so. I can't keep getting close to you and then be forced to pull away, it's too much to deal with. Pete showed me what it was like to love without restrictions. I want that so much… with you."

Jack pulled back, her eyes were still closed when he smoothed her tousled hair from her face.

"We can have it. I'm not sure how yet, but I'm General… I have the power, and that little red phone-"

"Lilac. The phone's lilac now, Hammond took the old one home as a souvenir."

"What?! Great, there goes all the drama. Can't really threaten NID agents with the lilac phone you have in your office."

Sam grinned, opening her eyes. She hadn't expected the measure of warmth and care she saw in Jack's expression. Before she knew what was happening, she felt his arm tighten around her, his lips found the corner of her mouth before travelling across to tease her into a kiss. Soft, and tentative at first, soon became deeper, filled with longing and unresolved hurt… Feeling a familiar pooling of heat within her, she broke away with a gentle gasp. She wouldn't be able to think things through if he kept doing that.

"I can't do this yet. You're too important to be used as rebound guy."

Jack smirked, wondering if Sam knew how gorgeous she looked to him in that moment.

"Really not complaining Carter," he said, leaning over to capture her lips with his again. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so blindly aroused.

"Sir, listen to me," she smiled, pulling away again. "I just broke up with someone else, and I don't want to screw this up, so do you mind if we don't rush into this?"

"Of course I don't mind. I've only wanted this for… oh… seven years. I have absolutely no pent up sexual tension for you whatsoever," Jack smirked, sarcasm shining through.

He was pleased to see the faintest blush rise to her cheeks, made him adore her even more. Hell, if wasn't already in love with her, he would have fallen for her in that moment. Damn those workable cliches.

"Listen… I've got to get back to putting those coffee cup ring stains on mission reports… and I'm sure you've got just as important stuff to do. So right now, I'm going to walk out that door, and not look back, because if I did, there's no way I'd leave without you. When you're ready for us, you know where I am... just don't take too long."

He rose, pulling her up with him as they got to their feet.

"Wait… before you go," Sam said, looking up at him with those glorious eyes that he'd come to know.

Jack swore his heart stopped beating when she trailed her hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders.

"Careful Carter, I only have so much self-control," he warned softly."Now what's the matter?"

"Nothing...I just forgot to tell you… I love you."

Jack grinned, "You never needed to, I knew."

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