Those three, precious words
Bella's POV
The bright sun was high in the sky. It hadn't been this sunny in weeks.
I sat outside, staring up at the sky, trying to not think about him. But of course, in my attempt to not think about him, I thought more about him. There was no winning.
I didn't miss Edward, I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Being strong was the hardest part of all. But it's been over a year, I've moved on, still it's hard to get the images out of my head.
That's when he came walking up the road, a big smile formed on his face as he saw me. I smiled back. He would help me forget, he was the only one who could under stand me after Edward's death.
"Hi Paul." I said, waving slightly.
He grinned and walked up to me. "Nice day, isn't it?"
I nodded and he sat down next to me. I felt the heat from his shirtless body tickle my arms. I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I missed you."
He laughed slightly. "I've only been gone a day."
"It was to long."
"I'm sorry." He kissed the top of my head.
I sighed and snuggled closer to him. I closed my eyes and felt the heat of the sun on my face, and the heat from Paul. Though I was surrounded by heat, I still felt so cold. The images came back, Edward's head being pulled off by Aro. I shuddered, and mentally told myself not to cry. But I couldn't stop shaking, and Paul noticed quickly.
"Are you okay?" he asked in a whisper.
"Not really." I managed between shakes.
He wrapped his big arms around me and held me close. I began to sweat under the heat, but I didn't care. I needed him to hold me, or I'd go insane.
"Were you okay yesterday?"
I didn't answer, because I didn't want to worry him, or lie. I hadn't been okay, the flash backs had been worse then ever, and I had barely slept because I feared the nightmares. I didn't want to worry Charlie with my screams.
"I shouldn't leave your side." He muttered to himself.
I shook my head. "You have duties as a werewolf." I reminded him. "I'm not getting you in trouble with Sam."
He sighed. "You wouldn't get me in trouble." He didn't sound like he meant it.
Silence hit us, and hated it. I needed him to speak, to tell me everything was okay, that Edward was in another better place, and I didn't need to worry. I needed him to make the nightmares go away, and make the flashbacks disappear. He was the only one with the power to do that, and I put all my trust in him to help me through this.
"It's been so long." He muttered as I began to shake again. "Try to forget."
"It's to hard." I muttered. I paused for a moment, collecting myself. "It's gotten worse."
"What has?"
"Everything. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the shaking…" I trailed off. He hugged me tighter. "Make it go away."
"Come on." He took my hand and lead me inside my house. Charlie was at work, and the house was empty and quiet. He lead me upstairs into my room. He sat me down on the bed, then sat down next to me. He kissed me, a good, long, kiss. I kissed him back, and felt his lips curve into a smile.
I knew where he was going with this. I pushed him off me and stared at his confused face. "You think you can have sex with me and I'll just forget everything?"
He blushed, then grinned. "It's worth a shot." He paused. "I mean, unless you don't want to. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to…" he trailed off.
I couldn't help but laugh at his cuteness. He was so kind and caring. I rubbed his arm. "It's okay, Paul." I muttered. I leaned forward and kissed him. "But I don't know if I'm ready."
He turned at me with sad eyes, which I knew he was trying to hide. "Okay." He nodded. "I understand."
I frowned as he turned his head away from me. He was so disappointed. "Wait."
He turned back to me, not hiding how hopeful he was.
"Okay." He said slowly, trying to keep my breathing straight. I kissed him, and I felt his lips curve into a smile again.
The next day was cold and rainy. I was sad to see the good weather go.
I sat inside this time, staring out the window, watching the steady rain. Paul sat next to me, he had one arm around me. We breathed at the same time, completely in sync.
"Thanks for spending the night." I muttered.
"Of course." He muttered back.
I took a moment to think back. I thought about Paul, and how gentle he was with me. He knew just what he was doing, though he promised me it was his first time. I remember falling asleep in his arms, knowing I loved him more then anything in this world. Amazingly enough, I didn't have nightmares, and the flashbacks are at rest, and I haven't started to shake yet.
Maybe he was right, I just needed to know we loved each other so much, and to show it. I smiled and leaned my head against his bare chest. I closed my eyes, and all I saw was him, and I smiled.
"I love you." I whispered.
I knew he smiled as he spoke those three, precious words, "I love you."