iRefuse to Fight You
She was angry. I knew she would be. All my life I had discovered creative ways to circumvent the consequences of my actions. But standing there, toe to toe with my "best" friend I was all out of ideas. Her eyes had narrowed to the point that it was difficult to tell if they were open or shut and her face was beet red. I recognized that face. It was the same one I saw in the mirror each morning. I wore it well, but on her it was unbecoming.
"Why Sam?" she fumed.
I expected her to burst into tears at any moment, however that did not happen.
"I just couldn't find the right time to tell you", I said in an attempt to explain.
"You're supposed to be my friend and you have been lying to my face for months."
"I just tried to find the bes—"
"You shut your mouth you lying bitch." She said with unparalleled viciousness.
"What?"
I was taken aback by Carly's tone and language. She never cursed for any reason so this was completely out of character. After what she said registered, I could feel a strange combination of emotions overtake me. My forehead began to heat up, there was a lump in my throat, but heartbeat was steady. I was angry, hurt and ashamed at the same time.
"Why does it even matter? You never even liked Freddie until you found out we kissed. He's a great guy that pined after you for years and you were too stupid to see it or care. But that's over now. We're together so grow up and deal with it."
Carly's fist clenched and time slowed to a crawl. I knew what was coming but I didn't stop it. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a flash of lightning followed by a guttural crack of thunder. I noticed the iWeb award on the mantle behind her. I thought about iCarly and our friendship and wondered if it all was about to end. Then there was the sharp pain I felt on my cheek bone as my knees buckled and I fell sideways to the ground. Time returned to normal as a grabbed my face and looked back up at Carly. I could feel my eye swelling and the pain was excruciating.
"Get up Sam! " She yelled.
I climbed to my feet and stared Carly right in the eyes. I no longer saw Carly Shay the sweetest person I know; I saw a green eyed monster which in turn made me see red.
"Why are you so mad Carly? Is it because you're jealous? You just can't stomach the idea that Miss Perfect Carly lost a guy to me."
She took another swing at me, but this time I side stepped, grabbed her arm and took her to the ground. I put my hand on her throat and drew back my fist.
"That was the only shot you get Shay", I taunted.
Her face was completely motionless and tears slowly trickled from her eyes. Her expression was that of someone who knew that they had been bested but was too proud to beg for mercy. Several moments passed and the only sounds were our breathing and the thunder.
"Go ahead and do it!" Carly shouted, breaking the silence. "We both know that this has been coming for years."
Even though I knew she was right and everything in my being wanted nothing more than to take out all of my pinned up aggression on her face, she was my best friend and I loved her.
"No, I'm not going to hit you Carly", I said as I released her throat and backed towards the door.
It seemed as if the room was closing in on me and I needed to escape just so I could breathe. I was dizzy and I struggled to open the door. I stumbled out of the studio as the weight of what transpired became evident. I made a dash for the stairs and behind me all I heard was…
"Sam! Wait!"
I could hear Carly yelling. She could have wanted to apologize or maybe even provoke me into another fight. At that point what she wanted was irrelevant. I refused to fight her. As I descended the stairs taking two at a time the strange odor of spaghetti sauce and spray paint gagged me. "That's right", I thought. Carly, Freddie and I were supposed to have dinner tonight for the first time after my confession. Spencer was cooking and working on a sculpture at the same time. I took the last stair and Spencer looked up at me just in time to see me cover my eye, which by this point I was sure was purple.
"What's up, Sam?"
"Uh….. Nothing." I said as I tried to head to the door as inconspicuously as possible.
"Ok. What's wrong with your eye?"
As I was about to make up a lie to get him of my trail, I heard the elevator ding. The doors opened and Carly stepped off.
"Sam", she said. "We're not finished."
"Yes we are, especially if you know what's good for you." I said as I backed towards the door.
Spencer stood there looking back and forth trying to grasp what was going on. I knew that deep down he knew what happened, but he wanted an explanation. At that point I didn't have one to give him. I mean where would I start? Hey Spencer, I'm dating Freddie and oh yeah it's been going on for months. I finally decided to tell Carly tonight and she got really pissed and punched me in the face. I contemplated killing her but for some reason decided not to. Sometimes the truth can sound more ridiculous than a lie. So I decided not to say anything.
"I'm leaving here now Carly. Make sure she doesn't follow me Spencer."
I opened the door and I could hear Spencer trying to restrain Carly as he enquired about happened between us. My next thought was to find Freddie. I banged on his door hoping he was around. With each subsequent bang it became evident he wasn't there. I reached in my pocket to retrieve my phone to call him. My phone wasn't there and I realized that I must have dropped it in the scuffle. I felt like I had nowhere to go so I turned my back to Freddie's door and slid down to ground. I sat there for what seemed like hours and I could hear Carly and Spencer discussing the situation. Spencer was trying to make peace, but Carly wanted no part of that. Just as I was dozing off to sleep, Freddie walked from around the corner.
"Where have you been?" I snarled.
"Trying to call you and tell you I was running late, but you didn't answer. Why are you in the hall and why is your hand over your eye?"
I made my way to my feet and looked up at him. I slowly removed my hand from my eye as I stared at him.
"Oh my God! What happened?" he said as he cleared the hair out of my face.
Freddie gently caressed my face as he awaited my response with a puzzled look upon his face. His hand was soft yet firm and each stroke made me fall in love with him deeper.
"Did one of Spencer's sculptures malfunction?"
"No."
"Did one of the bits you and Carly were rehearsing go wrong?"
"No"
"Did you slip and fall?"
"No"
"Did…."
"No Freddie. Carly hit me."
"What?"
"She hit me."
"On purpose?"
"Yes, on purpose."
"What? Why would she hit you?"
"Because I told her…"
"Told her what?"
"You know."
As Freddie began to understand what I told Carly I could see the frustration and disappointment in his eyes.
"Sam, you were supposed to wait so we could tell her together."
"I know, I know. But Carly and I were talking and she made comments about how there was no way you would love me. I didn't let on initially, but that really hurt. I thought back to the night that we started going out and one thing led to another. It just seemed like the right time."
"Well your face begs to differ. I just can't believe she hit you."
"Of course you can't." I said in an agitated tone. "No one believes that Carly could ever do anything wrong. Just like she couldn't believe that you could love me and just like I can't believe that you can't or simply won't see how she's been leading you on for years."
"Not that it matters, because I love you and not her, but she has made it clear that she didn't want me over the years."
"Oh come on Freddie. She did just enough to keep you holding on all this time. You were her freakin' puppet for years."
"Sam, I know you. It's hard to believe that Carly would hit you just because you told her about us."
I stared at Freddie intensely for several moments. My lip started to quiver and I cut my eyes away from him.
"It figures that after all this time that you would still take her side. I see that she's still your puppet master." I said as I headed for the elevator.
"Sam." He said while trying to reach for my arm.
"Just leave me the hell alone, ok."
I stepped onto the elevator and thought to myself that maybe this is what I deserved. Friends don't lie to one another. Then I realized I was being ridiculous. Carly was wrong and I knew it in my heart. It was too bad that my own boyfriend didn't see that. The elevator reached the ground floor and I walked through the lobby. When I stepped out of the door I was pelted by large droplets of rain. I had forgotten that a storm was passing through and the events of the evening were monopolizing my mind, making me oblivious to most of my surroundings. I saw that the lights were still on in the Groovy Smoothie and made my way over. I reached the door and tried to open it only to realize it was locked. I peered through the glass and I saw T-Bo mopping up.
"Hey T-Bo!" I yelled while knocking.
He turned around and approached the door.
"Sam? Is that you?"
"Yeah, can I come in?"
"We're closed."
"I know. I just need a place to chill for a minute."
T-Bo looked at me through the glass for a moment then opened the door.
"I can't sell you a smoothie because all the equipment has been cleaned and put away."
"That's fine, I just need a quite place to sit and think."
"Ok that's cool. Just sit back there. You can stay while I finish up."
I made my way to the table towards the back of the shop and plopped down in the seat. I thought I needed a place to think but I was tired. The fight between Carly and I drained me and I was weary from my argument with Freddie. Before I knew what happened I had laid my head on the table and drifted to sleep. I had a pleasant dream. In my dream I was flying. I soared above the clouds and then I swooped back down, hovering inches above the ocean. The mist from the ocean hit my face and in that moment I was free. Free from all the restrictions life had shackled me with. It was the most beautiful dream I had ever had. All of a sudden I awoke to see Freddie sitting across from me.
"If I am still dreaming this just turned into a nightmare." I said in a sleepy voice.
"No, you're not dreaming."
"Then what are you doing here? I told you to stay the hell away from me"
"Before you get upset…."
"I'm already upset."
"Ok, before you get more upset, let me say that I love you and I am sorry." Freddie said as he slid a smoothie across the table to me.
"How did you get this? T-Bo said that everything was put away."
"It was. I promised to clean up anything I got dirty and help him sell whatever he decides to put on a stick next."
"Cool. So why the apology Benson?"
"I talked to Carly and she told me everything."
"But Freddie, the problem with that is you didn't believe me. What would be my motivation to lie about that? I already have you. Or at least had you. I wish Carly no harm. I would kill for that kid."
"I know, Sam. You're right. I'm such an idiot. I should have trusted you. If you forgive me I promise that I will always trust you."
I looked in his eyes and I could see the genuine regret. Again that was a face I knew well. I wore it every time one of my pranks against Freddie went too far. It felt weird that he finally had done something that he owed me an apology for.
"It's ok Freddie. We're cool."
"Ok good." He said with a sigh of relief. "Now come to my apartment so I can look at that eye."
"It's late and your mom would freak out if I came over now."
"You would be right, if she was there."
"She's not there?"
"Nope, she's babysitting my cousin across town. She thought we would be rehearsing late into the night so she agreed to stay at my aunt's house. So come on your eye looks awful."
"Fine, let's go."
Freddie reached out and grabbed my hand and we went back to his apartment.
"Ok, Ms. Puckett. Sit down and let me take a look."
I sat down on his bed and he gently pressed the swollen area around my eye.
"Well Dr. Benson, am I gonna live?"
"I think so. Just put this cold compress on it and the swelling should begin to reduce quickly."
Freddie sat down on the bed next to me. He then leaned in and brushed my hair out of my face and applied the compress. He held it in place and the pain was intense for few seconds then it began to rapidly fade. His face was inches from mine and in that moment a visceral feeling flushed over my body and pain gave way to pleasure. I kissed him deeply with limitless passion. The compress dropped to the floor as our hands began to search each other's bodies. We rolled around on the bed, kissing aggressively. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He then reached down and began to unbutton my shirt. The passionate kissing continued until we were down to our underwear. Freddie stopped for a few moments and stared intently at my seminude body.
"What is it Freddie?" I said nervously.
"Nothing. You're beautiful. I just wanted to ask you, are you sure?"
I thought for a moment and reached my hands around my back and unclasped my bra and slid it off.
"Yes, I'm sure."
Freddie, with an almost stoic countenance, leaned over and opened his night stand drawer to get a condom.
"When did you get those?"
"A few weeks ago. I stole them out of Spencer's room."
"Ok." I said half surprised and half glad.
I helped him slide his boxers off and he pulled off my panties. I could tell he was nervous by the way he was struggling to open the wrapper. I was happy he was nervous because maybe he wouldn't notice I was scared too. He finally calmed his nerves enough to put the condom on and we began to kiss again. He kissed my neck as his hands caressed my breasts. He worked his way down to my thighs. Every time he touched my body I wanted him more. He reached under my thighs and lifted them up and then he slid between them. I spread my legs wider and stared into his eyes.
"You are beautiful." He said.
"Even with my busted eye?"
"What busted eye?" He said with a chuckle.
"I love you Fredward Benson."
"And I love you Samantha Puckett."
With those words he tried to push inside of me. At first he couldn't, then I felt a sharp pain and I let out a small yelp.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Keep going."
The first several thrust brought pain but as we made love for the first time, the pain was replaced by pleasure. Then the pleasure was intensified as he began to go faster and harder. My nails dug into his shoulders and my breathing became erratic. I began to moan loudly and I felt like I was on my way to an even more intense feeling. At that moment Freddie moaned and began to convulse. He pulled out of me and collapsed on the bed. All the girls at school told me that this was going to be an awkward moment, but it wasn't at all. Freddie held me and we drifted off to sleep. It's funny how in life the things that hurt you can wind up making you feel good.