Yo! I know this ain't a Penguins of Madagascar book, but it's not based on anythin' and I thought since so far all of my books are penguin related I figured, may as well stick it here! Some of u (or none of you) may know me from my Penguins of Madagascar books. :P But for those of you who don't know me for the super doper cRaZy that is ME, either feel free to look at the stuff in bold at the beginning of all mi other stories, listen to the stuff I have to say, or stare at the screen blankly like a mindless zombie! Your choice! But personally, I'd do the staring thang!
Now let's get this show on the road! And for those of you who DO know me, they'll know that even though I'm as mad as a headless chicken running round a farm shouting "I want soup!" (He's headless, so how can he shout?! Lol!) Yea, well, even though I'm mad, and not mad as in angry, I mean , mad as in cRaZy, well... where was I? Oh yea! I'm as mad as a headless chicken running round a.... Oh wait, I said that already.... Hmmm....
Oh yea! Yea, well, even though I'm mad, and you know what type of mad i mean, even though I'm cRaZy I LOVE LOVE LOVE and LOVE writing romantic novels (with hints of cRaZy stuff (some mentions of a cross between an otter and a penguin in previous stories (GO OTTER-PENGUIN PEOPLE! (*cough*))))! I absolutely adore... I dunno, I guess it's just the thrill of writing them! I put my heart, soul and cRaZinEsS into every word I write!
I also LOVE LOVE LOVE and LOVE to hear what you think! So PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE review and don't be afraid to criticize! But helpful criticism, not JUNK like: "OMGG! (Oh my Golly Gumdrops) XP u SUCK!" Not that I do!
But anyway, I'm gunna give y'al a quick summary:
Nina is the world's first trained assassin at the age of sixteen. She works for the ever evil Heartache, the master of destruction. Heartache lives underground in a large lab filled with strange inventions he creates for money. He has many enemies always eager to find him, and stop his evil plots, but his followers, henchmen and agents, as well as Nina and Dave, are always there to stop them in their tracks. No one ever escapes the clutches of a trained assassin. They check out of the hospital for good.
But when Nina is forced to team up with the ever annoying Dave, the world's second trained assassin at the age of sixteen, what trouble will they get into?
So there ya have it! A fun filled action packed adventure but be warned! There are some things in there the weak hearted may not wish to read!
WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS SCENES OF EXTREME GORE AND BLOOD. GUTS ALSO. MAYBE... I GOTTA GO...
Prologue
So, here I am, hanging upside down tied to a grinning idiot, hanging over a pot of poisonous snakes. That's right, a pot of snakes. Honestly, I don't know who comes up with this stuff! (But I do! *Evil cackle*) But I suppose I should go from the beginning! Well, I think it all started when...
As I threw my knife against his neck and pierce his bare flesh, I watched the blood squirt from his veins. It was a satisfying sight to know I had done my job well once again. I had just taken out an entire room filled with Heartache's enemies. I knew I was one of his best agents. But he'd just never say it, considering my age.
I looked around at the blood sprayed around at the floor. My weapon of choice was the knife. I could never use a pistol. Too boring anyway. Besides, a knife was sharp, shiny, and had a soft and graspable handle. A gun has a cold, hard metal shell and can hold no memories whatsoever! Whereas a knife holds the blood and memories, of anyone who gets on the wrong side of me.
But really, I never wanted to live a life like this. No little girl ever has the dream of something like this. But when I was nine, I was orphaned. I never really remember them anyway, so it's not really such a bigger deal. But the orphanage only takes kids under 15. So when they kicked me out, I wandered around the streets, when I wandered down a strange alley going downhill. I followed it right the way to an open manhole. Down there led to one of Heartache's many labs.
You see, he moves alot, never staying in one particular to not get caught. So when I stumbled upon his lair, I was lucky (or unlucky) enough to discover his henchmen working here. They found me hiding behind a desk and took me to Heartache himself. Luckily, I had the skill and potential, so Heartache employed me, even though many others were against the idea.
At first, I was quite squeamish about the whole killing thing, but it's something I just had to get used to. But if I didn't have what it takes, I'd probably be dead for knowing the whereabouts of Heartache's lair. No living soul other than his employees had ever seen the place. Trust me, when you're in this business you never leave. Never. Otherwise it's bye-bye for good! Besides, this place ain't actually so bad. I mean, if I weren't here where else would I be? This place gives me a nice home, food, money, I don't really need much of anything.
You may find this cruel of me to say, but I enjoy some of my job. But I don't like it back at the lair. My co-workers don't like me. Why? Well, first of all, not only am I Heartache's first sixteen year old, but I'm also his only girl. Yup! So, that's why I like to stay isolated. The only other females in this whole place are Maids. Mere servants. They don't think very highly of women here. Very sexist the whole thing. And like I said before, I'm under aged and most of them think I'm inexperienced, which I am clearly not! Some of them would even prefer DAVE over me to be on this programme! And that's saying something!
You see, here there are several jobs available. Agents, who find out information, stuff like that, spies basically. There's assassins, you've heard all about that nonsense. There's the maids, clean up, you know what a maid is. There's thieves, they go around stealing parts of cars and junk for Heartache. And then there's Basta. Basta. I hate Basta. Heartache's favourite. His second in command. Let's just say you could easily mistake him for a bear with a beard and a bad attitude.
But suddenly, I heard a low whistle. It was very faint, but I picked it up. My ears were certainly better than most. I walked slowly down the hallway filled with chairs. I knew there was someone else here, and I wasn't afraid. Why should I have been? It wasn't like I was the one who was about to get hurt?
As I walked down the corridor, passing each row of chairs, the whistle gradually grew quieter and quieter, until eventually I stopped at one of the chairs when the incessant noise came to a halt. I kicked the chair over and instantly picked up whoever it was by the neck. As soon as I had hauled him into the light I snorted.
"What're you doing here?! Why, I have a good mind to..." But he wouldn't stop smiling. "What're you grinning at?!"
"Basta sent me." He said, without answering my question. "He said Heartache wants to see you now."
"And what does BASTA know?!"
"Well, he is Heartache's second in-"
"Yes yes yes I know! I'm just sick of Basta and his stupid attitude towards life!"
"Whatever, he just sent me to fetch you."
"Why couldn't he do it himself? Cuz he's too lazy! That's why! But what I don't get is, why send YOU?!"
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"What do you mean 'What's that supposed to mean?!'?! I mean, why send YOU of all people down here?! Even someone as pathetic as Basta doesn't like you!" He sulked at that remark. "Why send YOU?!"
"I find that disrespectful to my being!" I snorted again. "Now let's just get out of here?"
"Why?"
"Well, I don't like ever coming to your work places, they creep me out! Especially after you've finished with 'em. And besides, the ghosts are surrounding us!" He said that last part in a whisper.
"Ghosts?!" I laughed.
"Shhhhhh! They'll hear you!"
"Ok, first of all, there are no such things as ghosts. Second, I just realised why Basta sent you!"
"Why?" I thought about telling him for a while, but decided against hurting his fragile little heart.
"I'm not gunna tell you!"
"What?! Why?! Please!!!! Pretty please with sugar and a cherry and those little chocolate chips you love so much!!!" He does this every time he wants something from me. If he wants something from Basta and Heartache, he moans to me about it.
"Nope!"
"Why not?!"
"Ok then, say there are no such thing as ghosts!"
"Shhhhhhh! They'll hear you!"
"Say it!"
"Ok..." he mumbled something under his breath.
"What was that?"
"There's no such thing as ghosts..." He whispered.
"Louder!"
"There's no such things as ghosts."
"Louder!"
"There's no such things as ghosts! There I said it!"
"Good."
"Now can ya tell me?"
"The reason Basta sent YOU is SO THAT YOU CAN ANNOY ME!" My voice echoed around the walls.
"... Come on, let's just get out of here." So we did just that, careful to make sure no one was following us. When we made it to Heartache's door, we found Basta standing by.
"You can leave now!" He said to Dave, whom turned around to sulk again.
"Not so fast!" Boomed the elderly voice of Heartache. "Bring them in and..." He began to have a coughing fit. "Bring... them in! Both of 'em!" He spat from behind the door.
"But sir...?"
"Just open the door!" I shouted at him. He walked towards me and scowled, but before I could teach this overgrown lump a lesson, Dave had already opened the metal door. Basta stepped inside.
"Basta, you can go now!"
"But sir...?"
"He said GO!" He scowled again before exiting. Heartache, for someone evil, always greeted people with a large toothy smile. He's the kind of person you just can't dislike. But I still don't get why he likes someone like BASTA though!
"Ah, Nina, what a joy it is to see you again! ...Dave..." Heh heh heh! Well, you see, not only is Dave a coward, idiot, annoyance, he's also the worst assassin I've ever met! So, he's also the only person I know Heartache to dislike!
"Hey. So, I know why I'm here, BUT WHY IS HE?!"
"Well, just between us, I can't ever find a task easy enough for him not to mess up! So, I thought YOU might be able to help him!"
"That's a good one, now seriously, WHY ARE WE HERE?!"
"Well, that's the thing, it's not a joke. I need you to take him out, show him the ropes, blah blah blah! You know the drill!"
"Can I just ask, WHY DID YOU HIRE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
"I think Basta talked me into it for a joke..."
"I am still here you know!" But we didn't pay any attention to that voice.
"So, let me get this straight! You're saying that I have to take... HIM out with me while I'm at work?!"
"Yup!"
"Why not get Basta to do it?! After all, like you said, he talked you into hiring him!"
"Hmmm.... Well, you know Basta! He would say no..."
"Yea, and so would I!"
"Well, I have no other option! You're going to have to do it!"
"Oh, I hate it when you go all serious!" I turned around to look at the sorry sight of Dave's face, grinning at mine.
DUN DUN DUN! :P WHTA YAL THANK? WOOT! WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS!
xxNopoexx (that weirdo in your neighbourhood(don't be freaked out by that (it's how i end most of my messages (now if i could stop using brackets! (oops done it again! (and again! (and again! (GRRRRRRRR STOP IT NOW! (I SAID STOP IT! (OOPS DONE IT AGAIN! (OK! LETS STOP THIS CRAZY TRAIN! (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (I'M GOING TO EXPLODE!!!!!! (I HATE BRACKETS! (GO AWAY BRACKET!(AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (AGAIN) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (DRAT (DOUBLE DRAT! (TRIPLE DRAT! (QUADRUPLE DRAT! (WATEVER COMES AFTER QUADRUPLE DRAT!(DRAT INFINITY! (DRAT INFINITY PLUS ONE! (I'M GOING TO GO CRAWL IN A CORNER AND CRY NOW... (LIKE SOME MORE TEA MR. VACUMECLEANER?, NO BRACKET, YOU'VE HAD YOUR FAIR SHARE OF TEA! (WAIT... BRACKET! (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (OK I'M OFFICIALLY BORED NOW.))))))))))))))))))))))))))) MAN THAT'S ALOTTA BRACKETS!
ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! BYE! HASTA LA VISTA BABY! OVER AND OUT! GAME OVER! HAPPY TRAILS! SO LONG SUCKERS!
HEHEHE
HOHOHO
HAHAHA
Hasta la bye bye!